Dromio of Syracuse
Marry, sir, by a rule as plain as the plain bald pate of Father Time himself.
Antipholus of Syracuse
Let’s hear it.
Dromio of Syracuse
There’s no time for a man to recover his hair that grows bald by nature.

    Shakespeare’s Comedy of Errors 2.2.58-60

June 21, 2018 — 5:07 AM (+/-), Sun goes into Cancer, the Summer Solstice.

Mars starts a retrograde pattern June 26, 2018 at 4:04 PM. (Goes direct August 27, about 9 in the morning, your mileage may vary, see dealer for details.)

Horoscopes for 6.21.2018

Cancer

The Crab - the Moonchild

The Crab


I was in the big box bookstore; the store is close to me. They kind of know me in there, but my tastes have proven to eclectic, at best. I looked at one cashier lady, a very nice woman, I mean, she works in a bookstore, so I find that doubly attractive, right? I turned on what charm I think I have. I asked, “Where’s the self-help section?” There’s one title that I recommend for times like this, and it’s a good book to have on hand. I was checking to see if the store had a cheap, maybe a discount, mass-market version.

Self-help? If I told you where it was, wouldn’t that be defeating the purpose?”

The Leo

The Leo

The Leo


Mars, from stationary to backward, opposite The Leo. Tough call. Then there’s me, with a floriated shirt. I look kind of obnoxious, maybe a little hideous to the delicate Leo eyes. I got to be who I am. There’s a tough kind of energy, an obstinate, almost awkward kind of event, and, then, there’s The Leo, asking, “Am I the only one who sees this?” Answer to that question?
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    O God, that one might read the book of fate,
    And see the revolution of the times
    Make mountains level, and the continent,
    Weary of solid firmness, melt itself
    Into the sea, and other times to see
    The beachy girdle of the ocean
    Too wide for Neptune’s hips; how chance’s mocks
    And changes fill the cup of alteration
    With divers liquors!

King Henry IV in Shakespeare’s
Henry IV, part 2 (III.i.45-53)

With a New Moon on Monday…. (plus or minus)

Venus opposes stationary Mars.

Horoscopes starting 6.14.2018

Gemini

Gemini

The Twins


There’s always one last kick to the Gemini season, and this one occurs right at the very end of the Gemini. Tail-end. Most Gemini I know have nice tails, but that’s not what this is about. Mind out of the gutter! Most Gemini can interchange the two words, too, “tail” and “tale.” Kind of a loquacious bunch, most of my Gemini friends. One last chance to initiate a new action, a new area to explore, new adventure, or? Or you can stay in bed and miss it all. Sure, your birthday and all, you’re allowed to take it easy, but if you can just launch one more item, at the very tail-end of Gemini? The fruits of your labors will be realized before the end of this calendar year. Of course, in Gemini measured time, the end of this calendar year is like three years away. Six days to make difference in the next six months? Give it shot, it’s worth it. Just as a sneak peak ahead? Really worth it, but once Gemini ends? Things might seem to fall apart. My suggestion, when it happens, was for the year-end. Maybe not much before that.

Happy Birthday!

Cancer

The Crab - the Moonchild

The Crab


“Plan your work then work your plan.” It was a Mary Kay distributor person — occasional client of mine — who taught me that. It was along the lines of a comment I’d made about the chart, but the phrasing from the make-up magnate was more succinct. Direct. To the point. Advice this week, for my Cancer Moon Child characters? Best use of the energy?
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Fie, what a spendthrift is he of his tongue!

    Antonio in Shakespeare's The Tempest (II.i.21)

Horoscopes starting 6.7.2018

Gemini

Gemini

The Twins


Gemini? Simple expression. “Fix it — or get it fixed.” Simple expression to meet the birthday energy, “Fix it.” That’s simple enough, a problem is there, in front of your birthday selves, so let’s fix it! Sure. That works for some. This is a complicated problem and I might not be able to fix it myself. Cool, I get that, too. Let’s make some calls, see if we can get some help on this. Back to the original command, “Fix it — or get it fixed.” Either one works. Either route is perfectly acceptable. The goal is a solution to the problem. The problem is that — as a Gemini — you might lack all the adequate tools to finish the task. That’s where the second half of the short statement come into play. “Fix it — or get it fixed.” Either way works, and remember, the goal is to get this thing working again, whatever means necessary — it is birthday time.

So?

Gemini: Fix it — or get it fixed.

Wait for it….

Cancer

The Crab - the Moonchild

The Crab


Kale chocolate chip cookies. Wrong. Just wrong. Don’t ask where I was, as it sounds a lot like an Austin-thang, but I can’t be sure. Might’ve been a website of some sort. But the idea of Kale Chocolate Chip cookies is just repulsive. Get into the details about this sort of mess? Those aren’t even real chocolate chips, they were all-natural, free-range, ergonomically-correct chocolate-like-chips. It’s a travesty.
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Horoscopes starting 5.31.2018

    I think she has a perturb’d mind, which I cannot minister to.

Doctor in Shakespeare’s Two Noble Kinsman (IV.iii.16)

Horoscopes starting 5.31.2018

Gemini

Gemini

The Twins


Happy Gemini birthday! This week? Besides all-important Gemini birthdays? We have to discuss motivation. It’s the classic “Carrot and a stick” time. I’m too lazy to research this, but you knew that about me, however, as I understand the term, “Carrot and stick?” This is about motivation for a horse, pulling a wagon. Might’ve been a mule pulling a plow, but the horse and cart work for me. Don’t put the donkey before the cart, either. So there are two ways to motivate that service animal. One is a reward. That would be the carrot, because, in this version of the myth, the horse, or donkey, or mule, that critter loves it some carrots. To me, a vegetable is hardly a reward. So the term, “Carrot and stick” gets a little sideways, but as an apt Gemini birthday metaphor, is works well. The other motivating factor is the stick. Pain or pleasure, this birthday time, what will it be? Of course, there is one, and he would rather be hit with the stick instead of eating a carrot. There’s always the one, isn’t there? Either way, though, motivation is factor for the Gemini birthday week, and what wil it be? Carrot or stick?

Cancer

The Crab - the Moonchild

The Crab


Perhaps I am best known for gaffs, blunders, and mistakes. I can get away with it, or I could, at one time, I used to have the ultimate excuse, I would say something, having to do with astrology and the current disposition of the planets, and another person would roll her eyes. A third person would chime in, “It’s OK, he’s from Austin,” as if that was a panacea that covered a multitude of sins. So my gaffs, blunders, mistakes and verbal miscues?
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“Winning will put any man into courage.”

    Cloten in Shakespeare’s Cymbeline (II.iii.4)

Horoscopes starting 5.24.2018

N.B.: updated Updated terms of service, the “fineprint.”

Gemini

Gemini

The Twins


For close to three decades, I’ve been calculating astrology charts and then, interpreting the results of the calculations. Part science, part metaphysical, and part human. Every time I open my mouth, I have no plan. Some days, I’m just as surprised as the next person, as to what falls out. Some days, it surprises me to hear what I’m saying as much as it catches the recipient off-guard. Do this long enough, and I get accustomed to it. Well, sort of. Some days, even now, I still surprise myself with what I say. The challenge being, once I’ve said it? Once the “Cat is out of the bag?” Once that material is launched, there is no way to un-launch, retract, or otherwise, suck it back in. In other words, there is no way to un-say it. This is a cautionary tale for my lovely — happy birthday — Gemini friends. I tend to open my mouth, and let my little demons do the talking, or the subconscious, or whatever. “You didn’t think that one through, did you?” I rarely do. Surprises me as much as it surprises them. However, although this works for my style? As a birthday — Gemini-time — person? That style of being surprised at what comes out of your mouth? Might not be the best course, but just for the time being. And, again, Happy Birthday.

Cancer

The Crab - the Moonchild

The Crab


With the summer getting on, and the heat arriving in full furnace mode, me and buddy were talking fishing techniques. All about how land a particular bait, in special place, and how to manipulate the pole so that the bait itself can works its magic. While I’ve used a similar reference before, when I spun up your planets in a chart and looked? All I could think was “Fishing.” He used to suggest a “Two-count” pause, after the bait had settled on the bottom, or settled in the weeds, wherever the bait was supped to be settled. Then jiggle the tip. Two count. One two. Hear the problem, or see the possible misunderstanding?
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    Nine changes of the wat’ry star hath been
    The shepherd’s note since we have left our throne
    Without a burden.

Polixenes in Shakespeare’s The Winter's Tale 1.2.1-3

Gemini starts, the Sun moves into the Tropical Zodiac Sign of Gemini on May 20, 2018, at 8:14 PM. See finerprint for details as the numbers are reliable but not always exact.

Horoscopes starting 5.17.2018

Taurus

Taurus

The Bull


The remaining few, many happy solar returns! (Happy birthday, baby!) Speaking of which, I got in so much trouble the other day, petite Taurus female, I called her “baby.” That set off a chain reaction that almost became a major incident, an international incident, possibly an act of war. First off, I am way too old to care, and way too old even entertain notions of — whatever — with that one Taurus. Cute, attractive, you know, all the right parts in all the right places, plus that sensual swagger that only the birthday person can effect?

Roll with it. However, the problem, the challenge, my big mistake? “Hey baby, what’s up?” I hope I recall, not to call her baby in the future. It’s generic. Call some guys that, too. Not really gender specific, not that it matters, no, there’s a universality I tend to assign to certain terms. Apparently, not everyone subscribes to my individualized belief, and not everyone thinks I have zero evil intent in my hapless ways. As Mars bumps into Aquarius, like this and as Venus shifts signs, too, there’s a chance that, birthday wishes and all, there’s a good chance that you manage to enrage someone. Like me, with zero intent to do so, I wasn’t being sexist or elitist, but — apparently — my actions came off that way. With that in mind, recall Mr. Mars, and Miss Venus, understand that might be friction in some other person’s chart, and this is no reflection on your Taurus self.

“Right, babe?”

Gemini

Gemini

The Twins


I suspect this is a highly localized and rather personal example, but it fits with the birthdays, motion of the planets, and everything else. Plus, for a few select individuals, by the time you get around to reading this? Happy birthday! Love me my wacky Gemini friends. Love you guys bunches. The example is eating peanut butter from the jar. But this goes a step further than just eating peanut butter, it’s the pleasure of corrupting small minds. In my example, it was my fishing buddy’s kid. Kids, really, I was in charge of two of them at the time, just an emergency, he had to go out on an oil rig at the last minute, and he was supposed to be off, so I got two kids for a few hours. Hungry kids, and at their ages, I know better than to try and shepherd those two someplace. Doesn’t work, not for me, I don’t have the patience, dollars, or energy. However, I can contain them in the back yard, usually. But this time, they were hungry.
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