Horoscopes by the Fishing Guide to the Stars starting 5/9/2013

“In the very May-morn of his youth,
Ripe for exploits and mighty enterprises.”

Shakespeare’s The Life of King Henry the Fifth [I.ii.125-6]

Taurus: Like Shakespeare’s Prince Hal, Taurus is ripe for mighty exploits and enterprises. Me? I’m more like Falstaff, gently goading and playing along. This cycle kicks off with two astrological items of import, a “Super” new moon in Taurus (eclipse cycle), and Venus, followed by Mercury, leaving Taurus. Gemini is next, the signs of the evocative twins. As a Taurus, you’re stable, and usually, very much a one-thing-at-a-time person. With the influence, up and coming? I’d pick two goals. Two destinations. Two items, artifacts, experiences you want to achieve, or at the very least, get set in motion with new moon energy. Gemini, Venus in Gemini, remember? Pick two. This is a little bit of “sympathetic natural New Moon magic,” but whatever works? Pick two. We’ll get one accomplished before the new scopes roll over. I won’t tell you which one, because it never seems to go that way. Pick two, and rejoice when one gets done.

Gemini: I’ve owned a variety of musical delivery systems. Stereo, Quadraphonic, Surround Sound, and these days, it’s just a powered speaker hooked up to a computer. Maybe a phone jack, too. Play music from the phone. Which was part of the problem, the other morning. Wasn’t early, just before noon, if I recall.

I pugged something in, unplugged something, turned the stereo off, I don’t recall. There was a faint echo, the slightest amount of noise, more than a hum, less than a full song blasting. I listened, figuring it was overflow from a neighbor’s TV or something. Still, I kept hearing one song. Over and over. That was weird.

What happened, somehow the phone was unplugged and it was playing a single song, over and over, through the tiny earpiece. Haunting, melodic, not enough to really hear, but I could faintly discern the tune.

Simple mistake. My bad. As a Gemini, be quiet. As a Gemini, listen. There’s a tune, not unlike what was happening to me, and not unlike what was happening to me, you’ve got to be very quiet to figure out where the haunting music is coming from.

Cancer: Spend enough time in trailer parks, and you learn a few tricks. This week, there’s a “foundation leveling” tip I know from years in Austin’s Shady Acres Trailer Park. In the simplest of terms, a simple wedge-shaped piece of wood can do more for stability than a whole concrete truck full of cement. There’s a need for Cancerian Moon Children to fix, patch or otherwise take an unstable situation and make it safe. Stable. In software terms, this is one of those patches you download from the developer, and it runs a thing that fixes the problem. Not always, but usually, yes, that kind of patch works. When I started to try and describe this week’s energy, though, I kept thinking about a thin sliver of wood, not more than two inches wide, and that piece of lumber was just little bit larger at one end. Wedged it up between the bottom the trailer and the cinder block foundation. Worked wonders. Counter was level, the coffee sat evenly in the coffee pot, life was good again. Simple patch, just a little wedge. All you need, this next few days. Not complicated, just wedge a patch in there.

The (mighty) Leo: Be really nice if the horde of Leo minions would get in here and fix it. I’m not even sure what’s broken at this moment, but whatever it is? That source of Leo ire? Be nice of the Leo “hired help” would fix it. Be nice if the people would do the job they are supposed to do, in the first place. Be nice if the folks who agreed to do this — in the first place — would actually deliver. Much as it pains me to be the one stuck delivering the news to the majestic Leo, but I can’t fix other people. Counting on the minions, servants, acolytes, various and assorted hanger-ons as well as Leo camp-followers? You can’t count on us. Me? Sure, I’m a big fan. But I’m just one guy. The usual folks you can count on helping you? I’m just saying, don’t count on their outside assistance. Fortunately, as the mighty and majestic Leo? You can do this yourself. I know you can.

Virgo: It’s hot and I’m tired. I’m just in from an afternoon walk around downtown, looking for inspiration for Virgo. I found it in large styrofoam cup filled with ice and “horchata.”(1) That’s a Mexican(2) beverage, so I’ve been led to believe. Previously, I was assured, up and down, until blue in the face, that the best horchata, in the world, this from a woman who is half-Mexican herself, the best comes from Taco Cabana, yes, the chain. Until now, I had to take that as true. This stuff was amazing. Rich with Cinnamon and a dose of Mexican Vanilla, sweetened with dark sugars, and a hint of something like Anise, too. I’m not sure. It came from a street vendor without much English, but that language thing might be a ruse, as I look like a tourist. Slightly fruity, almost a Tamarind taste, the faintest burn from almost too much cinnamon? The drink as drawn up from a big, icy jar, open to the elements, a true sidewalk vendor. Perhaps not the most hygienic. Not that it matters, just phenomenal tasting and satisfying drink. Street food is specialty of mine. I’m not advocating this for every Virgo, but think about expanding your boundaries of good taste.

(1) Sweetened and Flavored Rice and/or Almond Milk.
(2) In South Texas the term “Mexican” is not derogatory merely indicative of either Latin or Central American roots.

Libra: I’m sure I have quotes from the great minds that back this up, but here’s how I see it, “The true test of an individual doesn’t happen when things are good, the truest test comes when things are bad.” The way I see it? There is no true test of Libra this week. There is no pressure situation that will really test you. There is a feint, a fake-out.

“Psych!”

There is a jog to the left, or the right, depends, and there’s a question left hanging. Leave the question hanging. There are times when there is no right answer and a little equivocation goes a long way to making everyone feel a little happier. As much as I’d like to give you a right answer? This week? There isn’t one. Equivocate — you’re good at that and it might prevent trouble later.

“I’ll give you a definite maybe.”

Scorpio: “Aquas Frescas” are a local treat. Latin in origin, the big jars of “Aquas Frescas” beckon, glistening and sweating the noonday sun, various bits of fruit and melting ice, swirling together in a variety of shades, colors, flavors and hues. I’ve gotten used to replacing an afternoon coke or coffee drink with the Aquas Frescas because, I’m hoping, fruit juice is certainly better than coke, and I’m hoping that’s what these drinks are. Some of the drinks are almost syrupy in consistency. What I’ve found, it is best to let it melt a little, let the ice melt, maybe get some more ice at home, and let the mess melt down, thin out the sugars and potent fruit-flavors. Let it melt down, maybe add more ice. Thin it out. Let the ice melt. This New Moon, eclipse and et cetera action? Best course of action for Scorpio? Let the ice melt. Tastes better, watered down.

Sagittarius: “If only I had the foresight to invest in (Miscrosoft, Dell, Apple) at the time….” Sad lament, and one I’ve heard, especially in respect to that middle one, many times over. As a Sagittarius, we’re going to get approached by someone, in this next couple of days, with a great idea on how to make money by parting with some of our own.

Investment opportunity? Scam?

Two ends of the spectrum, there, and all investment deals carry risk. In this example, the idea is that, “It’s another Dell!” Or whatever this week’s cry is, about that kind of investment. Here’s the tip, you can take it to the bank: don’t. No matter how good a deal it seems like? Read the fine print and see if it really is “ironclad, guaranteed!” I’m thinking that, you’re like me, there’s something not quite right and it really is too good to be true.

Capricorn: I had an iPhone. Had one of the first, upgraded and so on. Not a big deal. The problem? As it relates to Capricorn? Listen, watch, learn. I started messing around with those stupid apps. How many apps are there now? Half a bazillion? I’m not sure. The trick, I wasted, well, maybe not ‘wasted,’ but I did spend almost a whole afternoon installing, trying, toying with one stupid app after another, then, at some point, realizing the app did nothing for me that I really needed, and deleting it. One after another. Almost pointless waste of time. Almost, not quite. But close. So very close to a waste of time. Sorry if you got a message from me that didn’t make sense. Put the toy down. Phone, iPhone, computer, tablet, whatever it is that is consuming more Capricorn attention than need be. I did find this one cool app that added burning fire to e-mail messages, but again, that really didn’t serve a point, now did it? Stick to useful outcomes. Don’t get distracted. Wait, did you see this app?

Aquarius: I listen to a variety of music, with tastes that tend to be categorized as “eclectic” by some of the best. There was a rather engaging group an Aquarius turned me onto, Beats Antique. One of the band’s sites had, like, three albums for free, at least, at one time they did. It was pretty good, and I’d already bought one album so that meant duplicates of some tracks. The problem? I have a hard time working when that music is playing. I can work to screeching guitars, dance, trance, county, western, classic rock, hard rock, classic hard rock, classical hard rock, DJ, disco, hip-hop (although my hip-hop is a little weak), and I’m not much on rap, but that doesn’t invalidate it as an art form, but this one band? Beat Antique? I cannot get anything accomplished while they’re on the sounds system. Can’t explain it. Like Kryptonite? Sure. So, in order to get through this week? Don’t play that music. Or, whatever the painful, pleasurable in my example, diversion is. Don’t do it.

Pisces: One advantage to my relatively pristine lifestyle? I get to pick and then choose. It was vegan, green, locally grown and produced food one day, and the next evening, it was greasy TexMex. Both have a place in my world. One is over-the-top healthy, and the other? Maybe not so much on the health aspect. Good comfort food, though. Mental health food and physical health food.

Put them together? All good. Venus is going to square Neptune this next few days. Sort of a running tension angle that lessens at the end of this scope’s duration. Life gets better, then worse, then better. Pisces life, that is. I’d follow my lead, and I’d plan on time for both kinds of comfort, the more healthy kind and the less healthy kind. A body needs a little bit of everything to survive, and it will help to have both types of comfort scheduled for the next week.

Aries: The three most often discussed topics in Texas are religion, politics, and BBQ. The three hottest topics, and the three topics most likely to start a fight. Of the three, BBQ is most important. Good BBQ knows no limits, as far as what it can do to assuage the savage soul. There are few limits in the Aries world at this moment. The hot tip, though, to help with this week? All that pile up in Taurus and Venus moving through the beginning stages of Gemini?

The secret to really good BBQ, one trick I’ve picked up? The rub. Rub the meat with a special blend of herbs, spices, and one place I love? They use a ton of brown sugar in the rub. Then, the BBQ gets that glazed, like a Christmas Ham, with just enough of the smoked, sugary sweetness left in place to add a delightful yet refined flavor. This rub, it can be your own concoction, or it can be store-bought. As a variation on a theme, a good marinade can cure some ills, too. Might have to experiment, but the preparation is as important as the wood used to smoke meat, and the secret temperature you set the Aries burner to. All in the preparation and the Aries secret sauce.