Blessed are clouds, to do as such clouds do!
Vouchsafe, bright moon, and these thy stars, to shine
(Those clouds removed) upon our watery eyne.

Ferdinand in Shakespeare’s Loves Labors Lost 5.2.245-7

Horoscopes starting 6.23.2016

Cancer:

Moon Child

A girlfriend was putting on make-up, and I wandered over towards the sink. She dabbed at me with a brush that had paint or powder, pinkish, blue, orange, green, I have no idea. I ducked. “Here,” she grabbed a stick, “let me put some eyeliner on you.” I crab-walked away from the sink as fast as I could.

It can be fun to tease. It can be fun to wear make-up. It can also scare the heck out of me, and watch me run. It’s all relative. I would consider that action, a stabbing stroke at me with a make–up brush, I’d consider such an action as a way to ward me off. As we put the summer solstice behind us and head into July 4th prep., along with Cancer birthdays, a simple gesture to ward off an unwanted intrusion, that works best. Adjust as need be for the given situation. Make–up, though, very scary weapon.

The Leo:

Never underestimate the power of the spoken word. Mark Twain, a Sagittarius, had an aphorism about that, the power of malicious rumor, how the Truth never stood a chance, not in the face of the rumor. Rumors, lies, and government statistics, all about the same, am I right? Or what? This is about the spoken word.

As The Leo, the power of the spoken word cannot be underestimated. Now, this next few days, is that spoken word your friend or enemy? Rumors, vile rumors and openly half-truths? Can they be trusted? Don’t forget that clear and present fictions, where I’m from this is predicated with the obvious opening, “True story, no lie,” which is clearly marked as irony. So the fictions sometimes contain a kernel of truth or, for that matter, sometimes are true stories that merely retold in such a fashion as to appear unreal. Usually fiction is more real than real, and all of this occurs to Leo as “spoken word.” The problem with “spoken word,” it’s not really always that reliable as a true source for hard data. As a suggestion, listen this week, and listen to what others have to say, rather than offering your own, very valuable Leo advice. Listen. Truth? Half-truth? Bold-face lie? Only a quiet Leo will know.

Virgo:

I’ve described this several ways, and then, one guy I was talking to, he used the “monkey fist” analogy. I said, “What?”

“See,” he explained, “the monkey is hungry so he sticks his hand into the hole to get the fruit, but if he makes a fist around the food source, he can’t pull his hand out of the hole with the food in his hand.”

It’s an eternal conundrum. Guy I was talking to, he made a clear gesture with his right fist and his left hand as the circumference of the purported hole, showing how it would work. Or how it wouldn’t work.

I’m a Sagittarius and I’m good at solving problems, like this thorny Virgo dilemma. Just take the thing that holds the fruit, with the tiny opening, big enough to get your hand in, but not out? Just take that and turn it on its side then shake the fruit out. Easy?

There’s an easy way out, but there’s going to be some requirements that you stop using a Virgo death–grip on the object. Like that monkey–fist problem.

Libra:

In my life, I’ve only ever had one corporate job. I worked for an outfit that eventually was subsumed by increasingly larger companies until it was a mere cog in the gears, not even a full set of gears. I can play within corporate rules, and I do well like that, as I have an understanding of long-standing goals. Deadlines. The problem being, as Mars to starts to unwind from his errant pattern, and as it stops, turns and begins to build speed in forward motion, more in concert with the rest of the planets?

As this starts out, remember that corporate dictum, “To forgive is neither policy nor good business.”

I’d suggest that Libra, as a sign, as Libra’s week unfolds, there’s a sense that there’s giant machine, marching forward and gulping down whole, wide swaths of countryside. Libra real estate is gobbled up in this machinery’s machinations. Play by the rules, no matter how misguided, stupid, ill-formed that those new rules might be. Just for now. Humor me. Play by the company’s rules. They are less forgiving than you or me, and sometimes, the rules, even if they don’t make sense? Sometimes those rules makes sense to someone. Just abide the rules for the next few days.

Scorpio:

One grandparent of mine had an old pull-start mower, the kind that had to be started with a detachable rope. As a child, it took me three pulls to get it started. That memory surfaced while looking at this last Mars in Retrograde period, delving into the memories, and searching for a good Scorpio metaphor. Three pulls. I still recall the effort required of my young body and that aging lawnmower motor. Three huge pulls, and each time, I would think, “I can do it on this one, now!” At least three tries, is what it took.

The pay wasn’t great, but it was family, and I try not to work for family anymore, but that memory is a fond one, down the recessed corridors of time. As a Scorpio, “Mars Retrograde Moment,” though, it has value. Mars isn’t really done with you. Three tries. Three hard, decided, definitive pulls on that starter rope. Three yanks. Three pulls, put some arm into it, you know, maybe some back, too? Still, might take three tries to get this Scorpio thing started again. I’m not complaining, either, as this is based on a fond memory of summers spent with grandparents. Mars, Retrograde. Deal with it. Takes three tries.

Sagittarius:

Read Scorpio, first. This is about delving into memories. Memories, half-dreams, pipe-dreams, and perhaps, a Drawer for Wishes. I’ve long since learned to “Mine the past” for clues about the future. “Mining the past” is this week’s predominant energy. Looking backwards to cast forwards. To stretch the metaphor too far? It’s like looking at what’s behind me before I back up and get ready to fling a line with hook, weight and bait outward. Look behind me to see that I won’t drag that sharp hook passed something that would get hooked and ruin my wind up.

Now, like that fishing analogy, the metaphor I’ve mixed one step too far? Look back, mine the past, but let’s not dwell there, and now, especially now, as Mars picks up and transitions from backwards to stationary, to eventually, we hope, forward motion. This is a time to mine the past for clues about where we’re going with our Sagittarius selves. Me? I’m hoping it includes that fishing pole, but that’s just me.

Capricorn:

Don’t freak out. Things are good, whatever passes for acceptable in your world. Maybe not great, as no Cap would ever allow as how things are just absolutely wonderful but, “Things are good,” even now. There’s a certain amount calm that can be pervasive, if you look for it. Instead of trying to find an issue, let it happen naturally.

We had “bad” weather for a few days, and I was hoping to go fishing. Buddy and I agreed upon a day and time, and I was busy watching the weatherman the night before. Then I checked my tablet’s weather thing, then I looked at the phone. None of the forecasts were remotely similar, well, all predicted rain, but it was either going to be a strong South wind, with heavy rain, or a North wind with light rain, or western wind with rain and fog. No agreement. Our weathermen are notoriously inaccurate.

What was the advice? Don’t freak out.

There was fog on the lake, but it was still and calm, and the summer sun eventually burned a hole in the clouds. Pictures are on the site, I’m sure. Not a lot of fish, but a good day.

The secret sauce for that success? Don’t freak out.

Aquarius:

Knuckle tat, “P L A N,” with the other side? “A H E A.”

It was just an image forwarded from buddy who runs a tattoo parlor in Austin, so, I’m unsure of the source or if it was just a photoshop thing. Be kind of funny, and if you know my friend, sounds like something he’d do, too. He’s got one of those senses of humor.

Still the message? And since you didn’t plan ahead? Quit thinking about the immediate future. Let’s look a little longer term, further down the road, a bit into the distance. If not, it will be like that tattoo, “PLAN AHEA,” which, I’m sure no one really did. However, after some of the ink I’ve seen in Austin? It could happen. Especially if you don’t plan ahead. Further than today or tomorrow, got it?

Pisces:

Inspiration for this week’s Pisces? Comes from the strangest of places. There needs to be a variety of sources for that Pisces inspiration, too. Can’t depend on just one item, one source, one place to look. I have three textbooks in a row. One is a New Age “Power of Positive Thinking” kind of volume. One is a “Punk Astrology” text, and the final is a text for one of the earliest set of Tarot cards in existence.

The Tarot is a divination system that is near and dear to my heart, having opened my eyes as to how planets and humans interact. The cards themselves? Nothing magical about them, just images on cardboard cards. No big deal. The books, though, three in a row, with cards from the 14th Century to New Age crap to Post-Modernist astrology? There’s a thematic element; it’s symbols; and it’s about tying them all together.

Look for the common elements, and in my simple example of three books on a bookshelf near me? Ancient, decades old, and then, almost current. Still, certain symbols run concurrent within all three systems. My little Pisces friend? Are you seeing how this works? Really old, old, and just last week, all of it adds up to answers to your questions. Do I have to spell it out for you? Seriously?

Aries:

One of the more intriguing coffee machines looks a lot like an image of a vaguely cartoon moonshine still. Captivating to watch, but like a real espresso machine, I don’t want one of those beasties at my house. Still, intriguing to look at, and interesting to watch. Coffee extraction, for me, as a purist, for more than a decade, I had a single “French Press” that I used. Simple to operate, grind beans, dump in, add hot water, press the plunger down, and it’s coffee. There will be some grinds, as the fine detritus sifts through and ends up in the bottom of the coffee cup. Then, too, this started an obsession with “Coffee pR0n.” As of late, as I’ve aged, while I still have that original French Press, I’ve added two more, plus a series of drip coffee makers. Or, instead of “drip” coffee maker, it’s currently addressed as “Pour-over” coffee.

Whatever.

The biggest problem with adjusting to different coffee extraction methods after so long with just one method? In that morning fog, before coffee? Old habits tend to kick in, and I’ll just set the beans for a coarse grind, and I’ll get kind of weak pour-over coffee. My fault. But change is good, and change is underfoot in the Aries arena. Be prepared to adapt, accept, and adjust as need be to new ideas, new techniques, and pleasant surprises, as the pour-over coffee, for example, lacks the fine grinds at the bottom. Makes this change, ultimately, less gritty.

Taurus:

Ever notice how certain companies, I’m not thinking of any one particular corporation in this example, but some companies, when the CEO or boss is away? Things run smoother. More work occurs. The tasks get accomplished quicker and in a more efficient manner.

Timing is everything.

With the unsettling events, and with Mars unwinding from his transgressions against humanity, there’s a sense that more work occurs when the boss is away. I’m an example of how I get much more done when I’m not supervised. I tend to stay focused on one task and get that done, all the way through, with little or better yet, no prodding.

“Boss was out today so we nailed that sucker shut!” Means the job that usually takes at least two, eight-hour work-days was done in four hours. No boss on the following day, so there’s time to play. Consider, if you work in a closely supervised space, that this is a time when you can do as well as if you weren’t supervised, and the converse is true, too.

You’re able to get more done, and if there is close supervision?

Pretend they ain’t there.

Gemini:

The best sources of education and information, for Gemini? This week is all about serendipitous routes. Two dozen years back, a buddy of mine, old, outdoors buddy, he gave me a copy of a Kinky Friedman book, the title was Elvis, Jesus and Coca-cola. I don’t recall the plot, then again, bless him, Kinky Friedman didn’t usually have a lot of plot in his books, but that single title started my whole collection.

Over the ensuing years, I’ve gathered up just about everyone of the author’s “murder mysteries,” if, indeed, that’s what it really is, and more often than not, it was just a very loosely defined plot and the former band leader of the Texas Jew-Boys (for real), on misadventures. It was that first title, my buddy gave to me one year at Xmas because he thought the title was funny, nothing more.

Serendipitous routes to gain knowledge and information, what this week is about. There are no straight lines, but curvy, sidetracks, sometimes undefined moments that will lead to this week’s “Ah-ha!” moment for Gemini.

Serendipitous routes.