fishing guide to the stars

virgoVirgo, the Virgin, approximate dates are Aug. 23-Sept. 23
Ruled by: Mercury (and maybe some asteroids)
Keyword: Worry
Symbol: The Virgin
Element: Earth
Quality: Mutable
House: Number 6


Flavor: There's always a lightly delicate but piquant flavor which accompanies a Virgo, some would suggest it is the aroma of a cleaning fluid of some kind....

Grocery store: If you go grocery shopping with a Virgo, be prepared to read the labels. Or be prepared for the Virgo to read the labels. The packaging itself doesn't matter, it's what's inside that counts, and this is what the Virgo seeks to find out.

Wal–Mart, after midnight: Ever been shopping with a Virgo? Ever thoughts about the number of times someone can squint at a label, and wonder just exactly what part of which animal those things came from? Imagine the scientific curiosity at work here. There's another problem, though, and one that suggest the results are not all in yet, that this an area which is going to require further research. "I'm not going in a Wal–Mart, please don't make me go there," I heard one Virgo girl whine. Good stuff, cheap, didn't quite work on her. The results are still up for study, as of right now. And most of the Virgo girls I know wouldn't be up after midnight, anyway, not if there was something else to do, like sleep.

Brick wall: When a Virgo encounters a fixed, immovable obstacle, there is but one solution. First, this brick wall must be disassembled, one grain of mortar at a time. And each single grain of sand that makes up this wall needs to be properly stored and labeled so that it can be reassembled later. Or so that whoever caused this obstacle can be found out and blamed. In any case, the Virgo will assure that this is all done perfectly.

Bait: Crappie Spin "it isn't just for Crappie, Smallmouth love it too!" -- This is a special lure, designed just for Crappie, but guess what? Smallmouth love it, too. And that's why it works for Virgo fish: the utilitarian nature of this lure will always attract that ever so practical, but mutable, Virgo. It's a perfect fit. Besides, just about every Virgo has a taste for the unusual -- that's why this dual purpose bait works so well.

Body part: Viscera.

Famous folks with Sun in Virgo include: Prince Albert, Fiona Apple, Lance Armstrong, Lauren Bacall, Anne Bancroft, Lewis Black, Debbie Boone, Tim Burton, Nell Carter, Maurice Chevalier, Sean Connery, Harry Connick Jr., David Copperfield, Elvis Costello, Jane Curtin, Brian De Palma, Cameron Diaz, Gloria Estefan, Ann Francis, Greta Garbo, Mitzi Gaynor, Richard Gere, Barry Gibb, Johann von Goethe, Samuel Goldwyn, O. Henry, Buddy Holly, Gustave Holst, Chrissie Hynde, Julio Iglesias, Michael Jackson, Jesse James, Tommy Lee Jones, Ken Kesey, B.B. King, D.H. Lawrence, Huey P. Long, Mark Anthony "Baz" Luhrmann, Marylin Manson (Brian Warner), Rocky Marciano, Freddie Mercury (Farrokh Bulsara), Christopher Moore, Van Morrison, Bill Murray, Bob Newhart, Merlin Olsen, Nina Persson, Kneau Reeves, Paul Reuben (Pee Wee Herman) Ann Richards, Jimmy Rodgers, Adam Sandler, William Saroyan, Peter Sellers, Charlie Sheen, Barry Sheene, Mary Shelley, Upton Sinclair, David Allan Stewart, Leo Tolstoy, Lily Tomlin, Twiggy, Raquel Welch, Tuesday Weld, H.G. Wells, Hank Williams, William Carlos Williams, and Hans Zimmer.


SUN in VIRGO
Although you can be altruistic, you have a tendency to act the martyr, using guilt as a weapon. Although adaptable to change, you can be vulnerable to the influence of other people. You will always find ways to be useful. And although you are shy, you are idealistic and communication-oriented with an ability to sell. Always practical, you would be an effective negotiator because you instinctively respond to the needs of others. And you can endure endless details and responsibilities.

Your analytical ability is amazing. You can seem quite talkative. You also have a penchant for books, magazines, and writing. There is your omnipresent critical eye for organization and detail. This can come across as an irresistible urge to improve everything and everyone. Not all Virgo's are neat freaks, though, and some can be quite sloppy, disorganized, and irresponsible. You've got this hypocrisy thing, don't you? Like a drill sergeant gone haywire, you'll dress someone up one side and down the other for their bad habits but then you have the same bad habits yourself, now don't you? You are health conscious and not overly competitive. You may be a craftsman, seamstress, or designer. And you have a fond interest in cartography, travel, or philately.

I lived in an apartment once with a property manager who was a Virgo. True to form, she had been in her new office for about 20 minutes when she calls me up and says, "You realize that you still owe the other half of your pet deposit?" This is a fine example of your Virgo attention to detail. I had neglected to pay that second half of the pet deposit for more than a year. Didn't get it past her Virgo eye, though.

Bernstein, Dvorak, and Charlie Parker were all Virgo's.

But for your listening pleasure, try: Hayden's "Symphony No. 104," or Brahm's "Symphony No. 4." Maybe some Enigma, too. Any good Virgo will also go crazy over Gregorian Chants, too.


VIRGO ASCENDANT
So your ascendant is the sign of the crossed legs? There is a strong chance you are a neat freak. Sorry, it just goes with the territory. That and certain love of technology goes with this, too, especially communications technology. You like fax machines, copiers, personal computers and modems. You like to talk. You adapts to changing circumstances but not without comments or words of complaint. I'll bet you are constantly criticizing. Then again, you find it hard to accept situations or people as they are. Sometimes, every inch of you is practicality. You probably tend towards conservatism. Ever listen to Rush?

You may act puritanical in public but you can be sensual and sexually-oriented in private. You can be organized in some areas but very sloppy in other areas. You're probably health conscious, and you are prone to excessive worry. You can be quite talkative and curious about everything that goes on. You have potential as a good salesman and an efficient negotiator. You are an eager traveler, that is, someone who likes to keep busy and useful.

The problem with Virgo rising is that on the opposite side of the chart, on the Descendant, there is Pisces. Now, don't get me wrong, Pisces is a lovely sign and all, but in your chart, it indicates that you have an ability to waltz into a room and find the one person who is not really any good for you. The old astrology texts said you would marry a drunkard. This being a form of Modern Astrology, I would tend to see you as being attracted to mates with some form of hidden compulsion, that is, a secret habit which is, perhaps, not a good quality. This does not portend badly, though, not that you are aware of it. Choices, you always got choices.

Notable Virgo Ascendants: Prince Albert, Louisa May Alcott, Woody Allen, Ian Andserson, Loni Anderson, Julie Andrews, Jane Austen, Warren Beatty, Jihn Cleese, Kurt Cobain, Ted Danson, Guy DeMaupassant, Walt Disney, Faye Dunaway, Sheena Easton, Morgan Fairchild, Ernest Hemingway, A.E. Housman, Henry James, Don Johnson, Kitty Kelley, k.d. lang, Madonna, Richard Petty, Ann Richards, Cybill Shepherd, Donna Summer, Uma Thruman, Pancho Villa, and Brigham Young.


MOON in VIRGO
Since you are guarded and shy, why do you read anymore of this? Partly, because you are fond of books and writing, but you are not overly scholarly. You passion tends more towards compassion rather than overt romanticism. You need to be careful because your humor can lead to sarcasm. Although you appear serious-minded, you can be surprisingly unrealistic at time. Your creativity has a practical element in it, and you usually stick to what you know best. You display an intellectual curiosity and are fond of travel. Since you are not overly competitive, you probably should stick to those things you know best. You can be adaptable, and you have a keen analytical outlook, at times. Fastidiousness comes from the Virgo influence, as does some idealism and ability to be articulate. What you need to watch the most is your vulnerability to exploitation.

Notable folks with Moon in Virgo: Douglas Adams, Catherine Bach, Eva Braun, Lenny Bruce, Sean Connery, Bill Cosby, Sammy Davis Jr., Susan Dey, Patty Duke, Robert Duvall, Shelia E., William Faulkner, Jodie Foster, William R. Hearst, Dustin Hoffman, L. Ron Hubbard, Anjelica Huston, John Irving, John F. Kennedy, Jack Kerouac, Jay Leno, Art Linkletter, Traci Lords, Madonna, Jack Nicholson, Sir Laurence Olivier, Jimmy Rodgers, John Travolta, Tanya Tucker, Pancho Villa, Flip Wilson and Henry Winkler.


The cruel/benevolent hands of Fate
Astrologers as a species
Reading railroad

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(c) Copyright 2000 Kramer Wetzel, Austin, Texas