Subject: Monthly Astrology Notification List

Saturn and Love their long repose
Shall burst, more bright and good
Than all who fell, the One who rose,
Than many unsubdued;
Not gold, not blood, their altar dowers,
But votive tears and symbol flowers.
Percy Bysshe Shelley, "Choruses from Hellas" "The World's Great Age, lines 31-6."

I was going to try and write this month's update in Haiku, but the short form might present a bit of a challenge. Then I was going to try for something a little more alliterative, but that too posed prose problems. And speaking of problems, and before anyone else starts complaining about this whole Mars/Mercury retrograde thing, let me explain, this month's Mars Retrograde is a double whammy for me, so no complaining is allowed. If any single person gets a chance to register a word with the powers that be, it should be me.

Mars goes retrograde around the Ides of March. It starts this errant path at about 12 degrees of Scorpio. Mighty painful. Perhaps a little too close to home for me. Mercury stars its retrograde action March 12.

Saturn and love, the original inspiration for this month's choice from the Western Canon, has to do with Saturn. Saturn actually sneaks back into Taurus at the very tail end of February; however, this will certainly help set the tone for the coming month.

Aries: The good news is that Jupiter is finally here. In fact, Jupiter is making a fast game of it, covering the whole first decan of your sign this month. That's close to ten degrees of Aries who will feel a sudden "whoosh" and a rush of exhilarating energy. Good luck abounds. Now, there is a down side to this, and one that makes me increasingly unpopular. Because Jupiter stands for "expansion," many of my regulars notice that Jupiter also brings an annoying tendency to put on weight. So with our little expansion theme going on in Aries, there's a better than average chance that you don't know when to say "no." This problem is compounded by the planet's other annoying tendency to make "deep fired" the food of choice. While there can be nothing better in life than a decent Chicken Fried Steak, this is the month to consider the salad, first. Just be careful about which dressing you get. Some of those are just as deadly as the ubiquitous chicken friend steak.

Taurus: The first few days of the Mercury Retrograde, right before the middle of the month, are going to bring about an incessant buzzing in your head. It's like that hum which was reported in Taos, NM, a few years back. And like that hum, it's this infernal noise which you can't locate, or, for that matter, find a cure for. Being the professional that I am, I know what the source is: Mercury. And like all things Mercury related, it goes away in a short time. For a few days, in the middle of the month, you're going to wander around with a pained expression because no one else can hear this noise. After that, it all gets better. So about the time everything else is taking a turn for the worse, you are going to be feeling remarkably spry and light on your feet. Yes, there are the dire consequences of having Mars go backwards in a sign that is opposite of you. But this is offset, just for this month, by the transient Venus. And she's going to do good by you.

Gemini: Last month, there was a dark figure on a dark horse who swept into your life. That person was also probably carrying roses because that flower gets really popular in the middle of February. By now, the flowers have wilted and the dark rider is nothing more than a dark memory. So the thrill of the adventure is gone now. But there is a lingering essence left behind. It's as if you have taken those rose petals, as they fell off, and turned it into a potpourri. The problem being that there is only an essence left, and it can be distilled into a dram bottle, and this process of distillation can bore a Gemini to tears. There's no reason for a Gemini to be bored right now, and it looks as if there is still a hint of last month's romance still alive and kicking. The problem with this hint is that it's the merest hint or an essence, not the real thing. It's more like chance encounter, a passing glance on the street. With the planets all doing their retrograde boogie this month, you've got be more keenly aware of what is going on. Pay closer attention to the details and tease something out of this essence, bring back the feeling of those flowers in full bloom. Might take a little work, but I'm sure that a good Gemini is up for this.

Cancer: I was casting about and looking for a good metaphor for this month, something solid to hold onto, but alas, there isn't one unless we visit a good rodeo arena. And that arena is often a good metaphor for romance. With large animals, small men, and a lot of dust in the air, you get the idea. It's still a little cold in parts of Texas, but in other parts, the greenhouse is heating up nicely. Looks like a toasty summer is going to be coming along. If you can combine Spring Break and Rodeo, you might get a good idea of what your month is like. The Spring Break concept is simple: a trip to the ocean for most kids, a party atmosphere, and everyone having too much fun. The rodeo thing is like getting tossed off the back of a large bull. And after that bull unseats you, you get the taste of dust in your mouth. Be a little extra careful this month with the parties because you don't want everything to sudden stop in the sawdust -- and you know what else is out there in that sawdust besides mud and blood, don't you?

Leo: I get hung up on Rodeo stuff, and then never manage to break out of it. But the rodeo thing is perfect for you. You're going to hit the ground running this month. In fact, the first few days of this month are most excellent for you. You have the best of intentions. You have the energy, drive, even the Force to get everything done. Then, just about as sudden as the good start, there's a screeching halt to everything. Of course, this isn't like TV where tires squeal on the dirt roads. Ever wonder about that? Thing about Car Wheels on a Gravel Road. But I guess that's a different song. Back to the rodeo idea, you get saddled up, and you wave to the guy holding the gate, and then the animal you're on doesn't do a thing. It just sits there in there in the chute. Like I suggested, you have the best of intentions for the this month, and you hit the first of the month going full blast. It's just that everything grinds to a sudden halt, just about the time the retrogrades hit. That soothsayer talking to Caesar was right, "Beware of the Ides of March."

Virgo: You get a few moments of respite and glee during the opening minutes of the month. That's it, then. "Time's up!" As they say in the game show parlance. And that's what it's going to feel like. You're sure that you have the answer to the question of life, the universe and everything. You're sure that the world has finally snapped into a fitted order which you understand wholly. Or you understand holy, depending on your religious and philosophical orientation. You feel like it all finally fits this crystal clear picture of what you have been looking for all your life. Then, just like looking at the reflection in a calm pool, some kid starts skipping rocks across the surface, and your vision is gone in a series of ripples. While you might reckon that you will never have this chance again, and while you might also feel like taking this kid with the rocks and throttling him a good one before tying him to his rocks and seeing if he sinks, I suggest another course of action. Since this was all quasi mystical stuff to begin with, adopt a more philosophical attitude about it all. Accept the fact that you once held the keys of the universe in your hands, but some one, somewhere, decided that you didn't need that data right now. It will be back, just not again this month. So hold that picture of your vision.

Libra: I have written dire predictions and suggested that many signs will wind up in dire straits as a result of this impending planetary action. And yes, this does apply, to a certain extent, to Libra. Especially that one Libra I always write for. But it's not going to be that bad. In fact, there is a welcome relief coming, a little bit of bliss is going to be born out of this mess called the Month of March. It's a blissful moment brought to you by Venus as she does a little hopping on the far side of the zodiac. Her hopping around leaves you hoping that things are getting better. In the real world, this little ray or hope might seem like a welcome relief on an otherwise cloudy month. It should be. Now go back over the astrology notes, and find out what Venus really means. She can launch a thousand ships, start wars, and bring heads of states to their knees. She's not always nice, but I figure the good Libra sense of balance will help you navigate through these dire straits.

Scorpio: The standard Scorpio myth is that most Generals are Scorpio's. I'm not prepared to debate about the historical or theological aspects of this data right now, but it's general consensus that maybe this isn't true. However, it doesn't stop you from trying to command your army this month. And with Mars slipping into reverse gear, it looks like you are loosing control of your command. I know this is a bad thing to suggest to a Scorpio, but I'm just reporting what the planets are doing. So lighten up on the command structure because your messages just aren't getting across to the people who need you right now. Since there's a not a lot you can do about this, I suggest that it's a good time for a long fishing expedition. Regrettably, this is one of those trips you need to take by yourself. Like I've suggested, no seems to be responding to your directives so it might be a month to lay off giving orders. Wait until you have a more sympathetic army to follow you.

Sagittarius: The aforementioned retrogrades and various planetary doings is going to be a little upsetting because, in a general way, you start doing ever so much better as the month gets older. The problem is that the little red planet, and the mercurial one, are both bound and determined to upset your lifestyle this month. If you can take the little irregularities in stride, not worry about the minor obstacles, I think the bigger obstacle will become more manageable for you. In other words, even though the big stuff is still blocking your way, by the end of the month, you will be able to chart a course around the problem. I realize that this doesn't actually solve the problem, but that's okay, at least you can navigate a suitable solution for the time being.

Capricorn: There are a number of little planets which are conspiring to make you feel a little less likely to survive and thrive this month. If it's not one thing, then it's another. And it just seems to go from bad to worse. I know this a doom and gloom version of what is going on, but there's a lot of little stuff which is just not in the best position for you. Of course, every Capricorn I have ever encountered seems to thrive on a little adversity. And it looks like you're going to get a month to thrive on this. There is one lucky break which occurs against the insurmountable odds of life, and this occurs late in the month. Of course, the usual Mercury Retrograde problems are going to crop up at this time, like a weird crop circle being cut into your own front lawn. What do when this happens? It's really simple, get yourself a straw hat, set up a lemonade stand, and sell refreshments to all the plebeian folks who come by to gawk at the strange shape. I told you there was a way to turn this into a bit of luck.

Aquarius: All except one Aquarius hates the the little Mercury Retrograde thing, and the Mars Retrograde thing, and the basic planet alignment for this month. But that one, is it you? That one will do quite well this month. Yes, there's a certain ability to see through the astrological fog and haze which is going to feel like it's lowered on your house. It's like the early morning fog on the lake, and it's the time of the big fishing tournament. You just happen to have the right electronic gizmo for navigating through the fog. What really happens, after the fog lifts, you discover you're not where you thought you were supposed to be. That doesn't stop it from a being a good place for you to fish. So, despite the dire situations which seem to be facing you right now, it really does look like you are going to pull something off this month which is good. "Who'd a thunk it?" is how we say it in Texas.

Pisces: We get a lot of Pisces this month. In some quarters of the planet, folks are going to be complaining about too much Pisces. Now, I'm sure that you understand this is merely a metaphor of sorts, but the concept of too much Pisces can be a little unsettling to the other 11 signs. It's like a persistent aroma of fish which permeates my luckiest fishing clothes. And I'm not always a welcome person in certain circles because of these clothes. But the smelly, lucky clothing works, and Pisces, bless their little fishy heads, are going to be everywhere this month, and they are going to be rather lucky at this point. eschew the conventional warnings for most of the signs and keep swimming up stream.

Feel free to forward this stuff onto your friends, or enemies, we don't much care, but remember, it has to be kept intact right down to the signature to make the lawyer happy.

1999
Mar. 6 & 7, El Paso, TX
Mar. 14, NewAge/Whole Life Book 1006 S. Lamar, Austin, TX
Apr. 3, NewAge/Whole Life Book 1006 S. Lamar, Austin, TX
May 15 & 16, Midland, TX
Jun. 5 & 6, El Paso, TX

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