From: FGS World HQ
To: Astrology Fishing List
Subject: April Astrology News

"The gods are just, and our pleasant vices
Make instruments to plague us."
King Lear, Act V, Sc. iii

Monthly Overview of Astrological conditions: As I was walking along the lake front, just the other day, I stepped on a piece of rather liquid earth. It was a combination of clay and loam, a rich and fertile soil, and the water content was high. In plainer language, I slipped in the mud. A passerby made a quick observation as I got up grinning "Wasn't the first time, won't be the last time."

Great words of wisdom. Falling in the mud is the best analogy for this month. Mars moves backwards, Mercury turns around, and the month starts with the annual Jupiter and Sun get together. It's like being optimistic, even when you feel yourself slipping on that highly liquid earth. Except for a precious few, however, that's just mud.

For those rare individuals who are going to take a little too much of this month to heart, that mud might be like quicksand. It's the Mars' thang again, and as long as he's retrograde, I hardly recommend starting a new relationship. In fact, "do nothing and avoid criticism," as one great modern thinker suggests. Venus springs from turgid Taurus on into sprightly Gemini this month, too.

Aries: I know that Mr. Mars, and various other sundry planets are conspiring to wreak a little havoc in your life. In sunnier times, Mars is your ruling planet. All that it looks like he's going to do this month is make you a little unhappy. Hey, before you get upset, let me explain that this is a theme for the month, an overriding concept, not a day to day prognostication. You can get one of those from me, too, but they cost a lot more. Mars doing this backward shuffle just means that your purity is going to be tested. You are one of the most pure signs, now act like it. And when the odd bits of stellar gravel start making you feel like there is absolutely no hope, just remember that you've actually got it good this month, especially when compared with the way it is for some other signs. This is just a test, not much to really worry about. Just be careful with spending this month -- it's certainly not a time to look for black velvet masterpieces by the old masters at the flea market.

Taurus: One of the problems with this month is that it begets an image of the April Fool. While the Fool has many fine qualities and is generally a perfect foil in literary endeavors, I would suggest a little bit of caution when trying to play like a fool this month. The trick might not work. In fact, it looks like you have a boss, employer, fishing buddy or compatriot who is less enamored of your foolish behavior right now. As long as Mars is retrograde opposite you, it's time to consider toning down the antics. I realize that you jokes are funny, you know that your humor is keen, but I don't know that anyone else (besides me) will appreciate your fine sense of the absurd this month. But it is an absurd month, no two ways about that. Be prepared to laugh at it, and yourself.

Gemini: You know, the configuration of the planets in the mornings this month readily offer proof that there is a divine mechanism driving the wheels of the universe as we know and understand it. To carry the message just a little further, and to stretch your limit on my poetic license, this all knowing, all seeing mechanism is having a jolly good laugh at your predicament this month. The little love planet, that would be Venus, moves from a bad position to a good position. Of course, the unduly unruly effects of Mars doing the backstroke right now pretty much mitigates the fine effect of Venus traipsing through your sign this month. So there is a promise of many new sweet nothing(s) in your chart this month. And Mars will make sure none of those promises can actually be carried out. Imagine that, a lover with a broken promise, why there might be the gem of an idea for a love story. Comedy, History or Tragedy -- you make the call.

Cancer: You're going to find that you're willing to blame a lot of this month on the fact that Mars is retrograde. In fact, this is a little problem for you, not a big one at all. It's more like an annoyance rather than a problem, and it's one that you can avoid, if you so desire. There are bigger fish to fry. But first, you have to catch those fish before you consider putting them in your frying pan. That's what you need to be a little more careful about. You know what to do, it's just you have a hard time getting around to it. Of course, that always invites the clichéd expressions about a "Round Tuit" but I was going to avoid that if at all possible. I just don't think you need anyone else nagging you about forgotten obligations right now. And as the month goes along, remember that I was the first one to nag you.

Leo: I really, really like Leo. A lot. I have many dear friends who are Leo. I have many special friends who are Leo. And after this month, I'm sure I will have even more dear, special Leo friends. How do I stack this up? If it isn't one planet pushing on you then it's another planet pulling on you, and if it isn't one planet cause much devilish merriment at your expense, then it's another. The position of Mars relative to Saturn relative to Neptune causes an unending stream of apparent grief. See, the way it works, you fill out the missing piece in the puzzle, only this isn't a happy picture. I want to make it a happy shot, but let's face some facts, this is a mess that you avoided about six to eight months ago, and I think I warned you about this coming back. "Live for the day," was a great motto, but it's time to deal with a few consequences. Of course, there is a lucky few that will be missed by all this, and I sure hope those are the ones I hear from.

Virgo: I'll give you a choice, this month, because I don't believe I can stand the pain if it all goes bad for you. There are two major influences we are going to deal with, one is that errant Mercury causing problems in the relationship communication department, and the other influence is Mars making your truck [or car or other means of transportation] misfire. So it feels like this is a month when you ain't hitting on cylinders, either figuratively or literally. So one or the other is going to give you problems right now. That's the choice. Personally, I always prefer when it's my truck that starts acting up because I can always get my date to drive. In fact, that's a consideration you might want to make this time, too. Try the old lines that I use before I ask someone to consider me for a social event, "What's your birthday, and what kind of car do you drive?" In order not to appear too self-serving, I might add, the car question is only in the interest of astrological data collection. But pick one area for problems this month, and then do your best to stick to one set of problems.

Libra: You have a good attitude this month. It might not last all month, but for the bulk of the month, you are the bomb. I think that's the term used these days although, my material might be a little out of date, like, that term might be so "last week" in modern parlance. It doesn't matter, though, even if you are shuffling along with out of date material. Given the influences for this month, you will do rather well, just give yourself enough time to accomplish your goals. Be careful about reaching too high, or going to far. Or, for lack of better analogy, be careful where you're sitting down before you decide to trim some of the dead limbs from your tree of life. Nothing is worse than cutting off your own perch, as you are sitting there. There's a sudden, sagging sensation, and then it all goes away... that's not what you want for this month so try to ascertain what it is that you are targeting before you pull the trigger.

Scorpio: There are good days and there are bad days, and sometimes the glass isn't half empty or half full, it's poised there on the very edge of a giant draught, the end of all moisture that we need in order to exist. It's like being on the edge of the pavement in West Texas, and looking out over the Permian Basin and seeing nothing but miles and miles of sand. Truth be known, it's really not that bad of a month, but there is an unfortunate hiccup at the beginning of the month. This will set your Scorpio "end of the world -- all is lost" sense on red alert. No, it's just a cycle of Mars and it's really not that bad, but I'm sure you are feeling like you are facing a giant desert crossing with no water. Worse yet, there's a underpinning of gloom and doom, set up by this rare occurrence early in the month. After that, things begin to smooth out a little, and you have to be used to the whole Mars in reverse thing by now. You should be, I hope.

Sagittarius: There's romance and then there's Romance. There's relationships, and then there's The Relationship. Even though some authors suggest that romantic relationships are good this month, I keep thinking about the fisherman with the small fish on his line. He's standing there, looking at his measly catch and wondering if a lie is really more appropriate this month since the catch is so small. The relationship arena of your life is like that fisherman, in a big way. There's something that feels like it's missing. There's something that doesn't feel quite right. There's another fish story that might helpful at this time, too. It's about river cats [cat fish]. They have a huge head and nearly half their total weight is that nasty looking set of whiskers and head bone. But when you get around to skinning the catch, you will discover that the monster cat was a lot less than you expected. Of course, if you're in the clear fork of a river, it's still some of the tastiest fish you could ever drop into a pan, but that's a different story. This month holds lots of promise -- I'm just warning you about your expectations. The universe is bound and determined to undermine your attitude this month.

Capricorn: I'm less enamored of some conventional astrological methodology at times like this because, at a cursory glance, things don't look bad for you at all. The problem is that, with a little bit of delving into the Capricorn chart for this month, there is a certain and pernicious note that sounds sour. The month kicks off well enough, but to jump into a football analogy, it looks like it's trick. It might be the April Fool just having a go at you right now, but the trouble is that his troubling trick seems to last all month long. And the football analogy is called, I think, an "on sides kick." It's a tricky play, rarely used in professional circles. While you may be deep waiting on a long kick, and while you maybe ready for a gallant punt return, I would be wary about some one on the opposing side trying to pull a "fast one" on you this month.

Aquarius: Just relax a little bit this month. Sure, that's easy for me to say. I'm not in my Aquarius shoes right now. Or boots, as the case may be. But I have walked a mile or two, along Texas highways in boots just like you're going to be wearing this month, and the best thing I can suggest is that you do chill out a little. It's the spring time, up here in Texas, and this month does offer a chance for some spring cleaning activities, no matter where you're located on the planet. It's a weird bit of time because Mars is having a little bit more of an effect on you than you would really like at this time. And rather than give you some sort of rodeo metaphor or fishing advice, I just suggest that you take it easy. There's something that requires, and I mean absolutely requires, your attention this month. It looks like it's been leftover for a while. Something you hoped to avoid. I wish I could help you avoid it, but it looks like it's time to face this little obstacle. Go for it, but go for it with a leisurely pace. Don't let Mars push you too hard this month.

Pisces: There are lots of little influences which are going to be exerting forces in your life this month which might, at times, feel like you have no control over the given situation. Or any given situation. Such is the nature of life, and rather than fall into a metaphysical trap wherein there is no escape while trying to ascertain what direction you should take, I would rather just address the persistent Mercury trouble which is starting to make you a little miserable about now. It's a good time to head out to the lake and drown some bait. It's also a good thing that some bait looks an awful lot like sushi so if you don't catch anything, you can still use the bait for something. It's not a miserable month, but there have been better times.

Feel free to forward this missive on to you friends, or enemies, we don't much care, but remember to include everything done to the signature to make sure the lawyer is happy.

The best astrology text I've ever found is back in print, "Astrologik," order it up from Mr. Antero Alli at: http://www.paratheatrical.com/pages/astro.html

AOL users only: free readings and much talk about astrology, bait and Austin cuisine on Wednesday nights, 9:00 PM CDT in the AstroNet Conference location. It's a weekly online chat sponsored by AOL's AstroNet.

1999
Apr. 3, New Age/Whole Life Book 1006 S. Lamar, Austin, TX
May 1-2, Albuquerque, NM
May 7-9, Phoenix, AZ
May 15 & 16, Midland, TX
Jun. 5 & 6, El Paso, TX
Jun. 12 & 13, Austin - South

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