To: Monthly Mailer
from: FGSKramer@aol.com
subject: Monthly FGS News 5/99

Why, there it is. Come sing me a bawdy song,
make me merry. I was as virtuously given as a
gentleman need be, virtuous enough: swore
little, dic'd not above seven timesÑa week, went to a
bawdyÐhouse not above once in quarterÑof an hour,
paid money that I borrow'dÑthree or four times,
liv'd well and in good compass; and now I live
out of all order, out of all compass.
Falstaff in Shakespeare's Henry IV, Part Uno III.iii.13-20

Monthly Overview of Astrological conditions: Mars moves, backwards, from Scorpio into Libra, softening the effects of the retrograde but staying in an apparent backwards motion anyway. Venus moves from Gemini into Cancer, and the Sun spends most of the month in Taurus, bringing in a little bit of light to otherwise Saturnine Earth Signs. Then, a little later, the Sun moves on into Gemini. Neptune turns RX, too, joining the rest of the big guys in floating backwards. Prognosis for the month is fine, except for that recurrent Mars theme, and that's what Falstaff might have been referring to when he was talking about being out of compass.

Aries: Branding cattle is a normal part of a working cowboy's routine. It's a hot and sweaty job, perfectly suited to a typical Aries mind set because it's the right combination of hardware and software. The hardware would be a branding iron, and the software would be the leather hide of the poor critter getting marked. Before some animal rights activist gets on my case, the way I understand it, the cow doesn't feel a thing. The worst part is getting the critter to hold still long enough to sear a little logo on its rump. Now imagine that Aries is like that working cowboy this month. Only problem being is that there are too many cows which need to be branded. There's a heaping big fire going, and it's getting all the branding irons nice and red hot. This is a month when you don't want to forget your gloves. And you might be careful about attempting to brand a whole herd, all by yourself, too. I don't want to get a cliché going, but you might have too many branding irons in the fire right now, and there may not be enough of you to get around to all the cattle.

Taurus: Mars moved his inflicted self out of the sign that is opposite you at this point, and that should help some. A little. There's also going to be a slightly uncomfortable little bump in the road as the Sun lines himself up with Saturn, if only for a day or two. Now, it's basically your birthday month so the usual things about birthdays is all over the place. There's also a creeping sensation, like a prickling at the back of your neck that there is something just around the corner. I would be remiss if I didn't address this premonition that you've been having, and it's a feeling that gets stronger and stronger all month long. The be sure, this is a valid premonition that there is something wonderful coming up. In astrological terms, it could be something as simple as Mars turning around, but that's not set to happen quite this month. It could be the fast pass Mercury makes at you this month, but once again, I think this a subtle hint from the future that next month is the month that looks a lot better. This month, despite the good birthday celebrations, is still not quite the right time for you. There's one too many things not going right this month, planet - wise. Next month? Your feelings are not misleading you.

Gemini: It's a quaint month for Gemini's. It's a quaint month for the for lots of little things to feel good about. I mean, it's not like it's a truly exceptional time for anything, but as a Gemini, you've got more going for you this month than most. Of course, it's a common astrological fact that most Gemini's burn more oxygen than other signs, so it's not like the concept of more going for you is so unusual. Venus and Mercury are with for a portion of this month and that usually highlights the romantic end of life. Usually. But you're Gemini and far from normal, therefore, I would suggest that you take it easy on the romantic exertions right now. There's no reason to hurt a single person. And since you're Gemini, there is certainly enough of you to go around for all the people who are clamoring for your attention. There are a few minor problems for other signs, but even the backwards motion of Mars will lend you an extra lift. It's time to consider visiting some childhood memories, and once again, this isn't too much of a stretch for you. There are no serious challenges this month for the sign of the twins, at least nothing that you can't rise to the occasion for.

Cancer: There was supposed to be logical progression, a series of steps which led someplace, a conclusion of some kind, a direction to this month. But the only conclusion that I have for Cancer for this month is to try and hold on. The month starts out on a relatively good note, a that is, relative for some it's a good start to the month. But about the the last third of the month of is one of those times when you would rather forget about it all. The nice thing about astrology is that I can tell you advance that you want to skip the last part of this month. It's time for a little time off, time for a little rest, and most of all, time to get away from other people. That's the source of the irritation for last few days of the month. The rest of the time is relatively good, and when you compare how you're feeling with what you see the other signs going through, you won't be feeling as bad, not by comparison. It's all a part of the ordered state of things, how things always turn tumultuous before your birthday. I realize it's a little far in advance to make any real plans, but you might want to start thinking about that now.

Leo: The way this month works out is that it goes from Bad to Good. There will always be that one Leo who insists that she is different and that everything goes opposite for her, but that's not the point now. The way the planets move, this month goes from uncomfortable to a really good, from disappointing to a wondrous. It's the reverse action of the way everything is for everyone else. As it turns out, this is month when I heartily suggest staying in bed, with the covers pulled over your head for the early spring time stuff. Avoid the budding trees, the wildflowers, the little birds that sing, that sort of poetic junk. Then, the closer it gets to June, think about some serious maintenance on the the old AC unit on the trailer house. Time to get after looking after the preparations for the summer. Yes, it's going to be scorcher, and you'll be in the right position to take advantage of this. There are plenty of hot times, right around the corner, we just have to get you through the first few days of May, then it all starts to look up in a large way, a large - Leo way.

Virgo: The problem with owning a classic truck is that it requires a fair degree of mechanical know-how in order to keep it on the road and chugging down the street. In this day and age, the hardest thing is keeping a credit card which works in the automated gas stations. The poor old Virgo truck requires a lot of attention this month. It might not actually be your truck which requires this attention, but there is a similar conveyance in your life which has too many sentimental ties to it to get rid of yet you're still not sure what you can do about it. I still recommend, especially in the early part of the month, that you attend to this old vehicle. There's some routine stuff you can do which will help. It won't stop the big problem you've got coming up, but when your friendly mechanic takes a look at your handiwork, he'll be impressed that you've made a good effort to keep it all in running order. As such, you might be able to reduce the overall bill for the big problem by taking care of lots of little problems yourself. And before you get too worried about this being a complicated task, in my case, all I had to do was pull up next to a dumpster and empty the trash out of the back of the truck. No point in toting all that extra stuff around with you -- not all month long.

Libra: It's hard to imagine but this month is going to have certain recurrent themes to it, like you borrowed the plot from a horoscope from last year [and just recycle that plot]. Stealing plots in the literary world is nothing new. However, stealing a horoscope from a previous month isn't a good idea. I did it once, and I'm here to say that it didn't work. But that's what Mars does to you, sliding backwards into your sign. He's going to give this month an awful, rerun feeling to it. There's a quality, sort of like the idea that you've been here before, and it's going to haunt you most of the month. It's the Martian Effect, and that's having a profound impact on your life. The thing to be careful is not to let your temper fly off at the slightest provocation which is a highly probable scenario. What's worse, you might feel like you've been there and done that, and you're left wondering why everyone else is taking so much time to belabor the points you already covered. It's not a great scenario, but I'm sure, with a degree of put upon patience, you'll do all right.

Scorpio: There's a bar in Odessa Texas that boasts of having the longest running rodeo in Texas. It's "Dos Amigos" and their claim to fame is "the longest continuous bull riding event" in Texas. What they mean is that it's been a rodeo and restaurant for longer than anyone cares to remember. Why would a bull riding event be like this month? You're going to feel like you've been on that Scorpio/Mars Bull for the longest time. It's not like some standard pro cowboy events either, this is one that's more suited to well-qualified amateurs, a typical Scorpio thing. In fact, the amateur standing doesn't mean a lot to Hurricane, one the featured animals. He doesn't much care if you're professional, amateur or tourist. With Mars slipping out of Scorpio, you're going to feel like you've been to "Dos Amigos" and you're also going to spend part of this month wondering why you didn't just order up a plate of tacos instead of getting on the bull. I realize that it just seemed like the thing to do at the time, but you had better watch out for what your impulses suggest that you do this month. I had the tacos, and they were great. You might suffer a little heartburn from the salsa, but looking at critters like Hurricane, I figure some indigestion is a much better deal.

Sagittarius: We're going to spend part of this month, in fact, it's the theme song for the month, dealing with authority figures. Sagittarius has many fine qualities, but being told where to go and what to do is not one of those qualities. The exception is when we're being told in a general way where to go especially if the destination has a theological ring to it. Regrettably, this is month wherein dear old Sagittarius feels like they are not in control of their lives. It feels like an older, more mature guiding principle is at work. And to the fine Sagittarius mind, a the term "more mature" strikes a certain degree of fear because it reeks of "no fun." But it's not month that's made frivolity, it's month when certain other people seem to be better at managing your assets than yourself. Listen to the sage advice you get from these so-called mature sources. Act like you you are taking notes. Sit at their feet and partake of their wisdom. You'll get a chance to play, soon enough.

Capricorn: I fear that the bulk of this month is not actually a happy time. It's not without a few merits but the little merits and the big demerits don't seem to have a degree of balance to them. And that's what you need most for this month. Have you ever tried to drive in morning traffic, balance a cup of coffee, change the music on the radio, and talk on a car phone at the same time? That's what this month feels like, as an overall view -- just like that rush hour scenario. And you know where that scenario leads to, don't you? It's as if you have just one too many things to do, and not quite enough hands to accomplish all the tasks at the same time. In this worst case scene, what I suggest is that you get rid of the superfluous accouterments first. Turn the radio off. Pull over to the side of the road to talk on the phone. When you're driving, just drive. The more you concentrate on just one thing -- especially this month -- the better your odds at getting there intact are. The point is not to get too scattered. The Mars thing does affect you, now don't let it distract you, too.

Aquarius: You now, there are good times and then there are good times, and it doesn't much matter this month. Did you read the Scorpio bit? It doesn't really apply to you this month but it sure applies to a lot of your friends. Now, the good news is that this whole Mars thing is not having the ill effect on you -- it's actually lending you a little strength. The problem with the Mars thing is that he's going to dredge up an old "situation" that desperately is seeking your attention right now. I know you've heard it before, but you can finally put that one thing to rest. And if you do attempt to ride the Hurricane this month, if you find yourself in the sawdust on the arena floor, just stay there. This isn't one of those months when you want to pick yourself up and get back on the critter that just tossed you off. There's no sense in adding insult to injury.

Pisces: I've harangued you about the Mars thing in the past. And I've made sly comments about the relationship stuff that is going, going, going no place in particular right now. With the planets in their current disposition, I would suggest that your like one of my fellow fisherman, here on the lake. He's a quiet sort. He doesn't talk much, and most of his answers are monosyllabic. He does, however, pay pretty strict attention to the phase of the moon because that's what he fishes by. And his terse answers are a good model to follow for you this month. Answer those people whom ask questions. Give them complete answers. "Yes" and "no" are complete answers to some questions, as is, "maybe." I know that you are far more loquacious than my partner, but you need to practice his deliberate and infuriating communication skills. By toning down your enthusiasm this month, making it a cerebral endeavor, you will find that you get greater results. And about that relationship question? Maybe. Feel free to forward this missive on to you friends, or enemies, we don't much care, but remember to include everything done to the signature to make sure the lawyer is happy.

Feel free to forward this missive on to you friends, or enemies, we don't much care, but remember to include everything done to the signature to make sure the lawyer is happy.

The best astrology text I've ever found is back in print, "Astrologik," order it up from Mr. Antero Alli at: http://www.paratheatrical.com/pages/astro.html

AOL users only: free readings and much talk about astrology, bait and Austin cuisine on Wednesday nights, 9:00 PM CDT in the AstroNet Conference location. It's a weekly online chat sponsored by AOL's AstroNet.

1999
May 1-2, Albuquerque, NM
May 7-9, Phoenix, AZ
May 15 & 16, Midland, TX
May 22, New Age/Whole Life Book 1006 S. Lamar, Austin, TX
May 29-31, Memorial Day Weekend
Jun. 5 & 6, El Paso, TX
Jun. 12 & 13, Austin - South
Jun. 20, Whole Life Book 1006 S. Lamar, Austin, TX
Aug. 7-8, El Paso, TX

--------------------------------------------------

Worried about Y2K? Order next years transits, now. Get in ahead of the crush [or the crash]...
Order a year of Transits from
http://www.astrofish.net

--------------------------------------------------