subject: Answering that age old question......
Precedence: joke

Answering that age old question, "Why Didn't He Call?": Guys are born with a fundamental, genetically transmitted mental condition known to psychologists as: "The Fear That If You Get Attached to a Woman, Some Unattached Guy, Somewhere, Will Be Having More Fun Than You."

This is why all married guys assume that all unmarried guys lead lives of constant excitement involving hot tubs full of naked international fashion models; whereas in fact for most unmarried guys, the climax of the typical evening is watching an infomercial for Hair-in-a-Spray-can while eating onion dip straight from the container. (This is also true of married guys, although statistically they are far more likely to be using a spoon.)

So guys are extremely reluctant to make commitments, or even to take any steps that might lead to commitment. This is why, when a guy goes out on a date with a woman and finds himself really liking her, he often will demonstrate his affection by avoiding her for the rest of his life.

Women are puzzled by this, "I don't understand," they say, "We had such a great time! Why doesn't he call?" The reason is that the guy, using the "linear guy thought process," has realized that if he takes her out again, he'll probably like her even more, so he'll take her out again, and eventually they'll fall in love with each other, and they'll get married, and they'll have children, and then they'll have grandchildren, and eventually they'll retire and take a trip around the world, and they'll be walking hand-in-hand on some spectacular beach in the South Pacific, reminiscing about the lifetime of experiences they've shared together, and then several naked international fashion models will walk up and invite him to join them in a hot tub, and he won't be able to do it.

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Kramer Wetzel
"Many a good hanging prevents a bad marriage" The Clown in Shakespeare's 12th Night (or What You Will) [I.v.20]

Check it out: You can hear Weekend Edition of your weekly forecast in the privacy of your own cubicle. Or on your home telephone. We don't care where you call from. All you have to do is call 1-900-990-9990 and tell them Bubba sent you. It's just $1.99 per minute and like all fun things in this world, you're supposed to be at least 18.

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