Week of: May 6 – May 12

Week of: May 6 - May 12
It's another Monday the Thirteenth. Not a happy day at all, now is it? Of course, the wisdom about Monday the Thirteenth is not derived from usual sources. No, I first learned about this horrible freak of nature through the comics. And my life, and now yours, will never be the same.

Aries : This week starts out with you actually willing to sit and listen to some one pour his or her heart out for a while. You have sympathy. You care. Your normal rash response is taken in a much different format as you display kindness and compassion. Then the week gets to you, and this kindly attitude goes away. But there, for one albeit brief and shining moment, we all thought that the Aries was a new a different person. Surprise, the old you is back by Friday.

Taurus : Well, there are still a couple of planets really stirring up the stew in Taurus this week. Mars, the odd god of War, sometimes called the little red one, is activating a good deal of positive Taurus energy this week. And Retrograde Mercury, the odd god of lost mail, is still spinning backwards and making life that much worse. So what will it be? New car? Lost papers? Flip the coin and pray for the best. In the meantime, it would be wise to double check all your work. I don't think you are quite ready for the new car.

Gemini : I told you about the cruel joke the heavens are playing on you -- the Mercury in Taurus, Venus in Gemini deal. Well, these feelings of being split, just like the classic Gemini archetype, really fit. Don't know which way to go? Go fishing or draw small stars? Whatever you do, don't panic, because such an action will avail you naught. The hardest thing for you to do this week is to keep from spinning in circles like a top. And talk about feeling like one of the twins this week!

Cancer : I know you feel like this is a bad week. Well, maybe it is. Perhaps it's just a Cancer thing, too, with you being all moody and depressed. Look on the bright side, other signs are suffering more than you. Go and read what it says for Gemini this week, and that should make you feel better. Of course, all that Gemini misdirection might confuse you, too, so think about reading Capricorn as well. Oh those silly planets.

Leo : Every once in a long time, there is a good. Every once in a much longer time, there is a series of good days. As long as you are getting over the trauma and avoiding conflict, you will find that this can be a most excellent week. The changes which didn't work last week are bound to take effect next week. Now that you know that, you can rest easy, even act a little smug.

Virgo : Still reeling in the romance? That scenario is going okay? There is one thing that I should warn you, since this looks a fairly new romance for you: When you start a new project (romance is a project) under the auspices of Mercury being backwards, there is usually a short lived nature to it. As long as you make adjustments for the ephemeral quality of this new project, you will find that, contrary to what other folks are saying, the romance is proceeding smoothly.

Libra : There is some interesting energy which is forcing a few things to the top for you lucky Libra's. Some projects left over from some time ago has recently come to fruition. Now, you have to turn your attention elsewhere because you complete one of the goals. What's next? A little well-deserved rest and relaxation would be a good idea.

Scorpio : There's an axiom from Cowboy Country which is more than appropriate for you Scorpio's this week, "It's easier getting on the bull than getting off the bull." For those of you who really don't get the analogy, well, perhaps you had better just stay in bed this week. Actually, though, it will a be a good week as long as you remember what part of the bull is the business end.

Sagittarius : I guess that you have found this to be a most unsettling period of time, and there is nothing that I can say or do that will rectify this feeling which are experiencing. Occasionally, times are tough. Other Astrologers will tell you that this is a good time to make money. The only thing I would spend any money on this week is a kindly Astrologer. Like myself.

Capricorn : Sorry about this one, but it looks like the moodiness has finally set back in. I know I won't win any favorites with THAT prognostication, but realize this: as long as you have moods, you can use them to your advantage. And besides, with all the mood swings, you can get a lot more accomplished than you would if you were out and out angry. Go with the flow this week.

Aquarius : Romantic winds of change are heating up this week. That much is sure. Which way these winds of change blow, that much is unsure. It's hard to p[predict for Aquarius because you guys never know which way you are going to go until the last minute. So? So be prepared for some changes. That's all I can offer this week. Bet you will like the outcome, though.

Pisces : Let me tell you, a Pisces in love is a pretty thing. Really. Those big Piscean eyes turn all goo-goo, and that normal, dream - like trance state you call reality is further heightened by the endorphins resulting from love, well, the image is almost too good to be true. I should just REMIND YOU that Mercury is backwards right now, and this feeling is merely a FEELING and it probably won't last. But do you listen to me?

Week of: Apr. 29- May 5

Week of: Apr. 29- May 5
Mercury Retrograde on Friday the 3rd

Aries [3/23-4/20]: How are things going at the Old Salt Mine these days, dear Aries friend? Bit rough on you? There is some nice energy floating along a little later in the week, and you will find a welcome relief as Mars moves out of your sign. The need to "get it done with it" is over. That Martian urge is relaxed a little as your ruler moves on into a sedate sign, Taurus. Concentrate on "pretty" at work.

Taurus [4/21-5/22]: I'm telling you, you have the best of possible configurations for a birthday this week as Mars makes a grand entrance into your sign. Along with the hot headed planet comes a sense of urgency: birthday parties are going to go "swimmingly" well, if you give it all a chance to unfold according to a cosmic time table. Tired of astrologer riddles? Have party, but find some one else to drive -- that's sound advice.

Gemini [5/23-6/21]: You should be in an enviable position this week -- even better, for the rest of the week, you have a greater appreciation of beauty and art, and you might even like opera. That's where some barrel chested babes belt out songs in a foreign language, you know. This merely highlights what is going on deep within you: communicate those innermost feelings and sense of appreciation this week. It will help you along your diverse paths.

Cancer [6/22-7/22]: Oh dear me. Oh dear. Oh. Relationship woes are on the horizon again, for you, dear Cancer. Sorry about that. You might find yourself examining your romance in terms of how it affects your work performance. Because you are a water sign, too, you have to be careful that you do not allow the work/romance issue to cloud your judgment. Really. Trust me. I am a professional.

Leo [7/23-8/23]: The only problem you Leo's have this week reside in an earlier sign in the zodiac: Taurus. Being a fixed sign also, Taurus tends to think that they are always right. Being a good Leo, you know you are right. But it's their birthday, so ACT like they are right. It's a just a phase of the stars right now, and it won't last for long. Just acquiesces to them, even if you rattles your cage a little.

Virgo [8/24-9/23]: some Virgo's think that I mercilessly pick on them because, as a rule, the sign tends to be too tidy, too neat, and too clean. It's really not true, it just appears that I pick on them. Now, this week, starts out with a good stuff and only gets better. You are fine shape at the beginning of the week, and this fine shape gets better and better as your normally pinched expression turns into a wide grin. There is much for Virgo's to smile about this week.

Libra [9/24-10/23]: Poor old Libra, always the stalwart in the face of adversity! Well, things are looking up. So I hope. Maybe. Just a little. There are those annoying loose ends which need to be tied up this week, and the romance department needs a little attention. But other than that, things ought to be pretty good. Really. Well, sort of. I dislike sounding like I'm hedging a little, but after the last round of email from Libra's, I'm hesitant to say anything definitive. Sort of.

Scorpio [10/24-11/23]: Maybe it's because I have, on occasion, been romantically linked with a Scorpio that makes me sensitive to their needs. Maybe it's because my own, dear sweet mother is a Scorpio is why I am sensitive to their needs. Maybe it's because I read all the painful email from Scorpio's that makes me sensitive to their needs. Or maybe it's JUST IN THE STARS, but you guys really need to lighten up a little this week. Relax. Chill out. Quit thinking about it. And don't call me, fax me, or email. At all. (Bubba's fax line is always open because the fax machine drinks truckstop coffee: 512/448-0970)

Sagittarius [11/24-12/21]: As a good Sagittarius, let me tell you: the last week wasn't that great. And things start out this week not looking that good, either. But wait, there's more. Much, much more! As the week draws to a close, there is a sudden change in attitude. No, there are no major events which are going to change you, but your way of looking at things gets much better. A little adjustment in attitude, as were. Fishing looks good this weekend.

Capricorn [12/22-1/20]: Poor old tired and abused Capricorn! Seems like everyone is picking on you this week. If it's not in the toilet at work, then it's your home life which seems to have disappeared down the proverbial drain. I warned you, didn't I? About the "too good to be true, get rich schemes"? Did you listen? Time to t take a break and figure out how to pull this one together -- I know you can.

Aquarius [1/21-2/18]: Ever work with cattle? Ever feel like you work with a people who behave like a herd? You might benefit from realizing that it's always possible to get the herd to move in a particular direction, like a cattle drive, but the cows themselves are probably not going to understand what all the fuss is about. Remember this as the week unfolds -- you might have problems educating a few people along the way.

Pisces [2/19-3/22]: After what you've been through, I would hate to even suggest that wedding was in order, but you will find that the idea of a wedding intrigues you. What would be even more intriguing is if it were YOUR wedding. Think about that one for a moment or two. Now consider this, dear Pisces friend, you are face to face with a situation which could lead to trip down the aisle. Do you dare take that first step?

Week of: Apr. 22-28

Week of: Apr. 22-28
"In 1880, 40 thousand tons of steel barbed wire were sold to Texas cattlemen."
(page 108 of "At Least 1836 you ought to know about Texas)

There is still a little collateral damage from the last of the celestial events which have occured on a Aries/Libra axis. Been a fun time for them. That, and all the love planets are really stirring up the old spring time feelings, too. But you might be feeling a little hemmed in, and hence the statistic about Bob Wire. If you know any good quotes from American authors about statistics, let me know.

Aries [3/23-4/20]: Dear Aries friend. Dear Aries. Oh Dear. Mars is leaving shortly and with it is its imprint: a hot, war-like attitude which goes with just about everything you touch. The good news beyond this fiery disposition is that you can get a lot done, that is, get many thing accomplished with this energy. Saturn is snuggling in for a couple of years, too, so get used to the idea that good karma is coming around for you.

Taurus [4/21-5/22]: It's birthday time for the mighty Bull of the zodiac. Don't forget that in FGS Astrology, the sign of the Bull is always associated with Venus that planet of good taste (and all things that taste good). Get ready for the big birthday thing since you will find that you are a tad more flighty this week. What with all the birthday stuff coming, there will feel like there is never enough time to get everything ready! Relax and try a Leo move: party on!

Gemini [5/23-6/21]: Well, dear Gemini, looks as if you are the down side of long a downhill run, and it doesn't feel like this one has been too much fun, either. The good to better news is that you are poised for some better things to happen, just about any day now. Do the Gemini thing, keep light on your feet and be ready to move off in a new direction at a moment's notice. You have got interesting, and what should be good, changes right around the corner.

Cancer [6/22-7/22]: Oh no, you Cancer types are going to begin to hate me. I can feel it already. You start this persistent whining like a main bearing in an outboard motor just about to cease all functions, and this whining just starts to build to a tremendous roar. The idea that you are slowly, ineffably, moving your career ahead is the notion I want you to work with. The facts are this: you must work long and hard hours in order to achieve what you want right now. The better news is that you can do this thing. Just don't whine to me about work.

Leo [7/23-8/23]: I was sitting on airplane, just the other day, with a Leo. No complaints here. All I could think about,m though, was how bad it has been for Leo, that grand old sign, and how nice it is starting to be. Yes. The party season is just around the corner. You like the summer time weather -- after all, the Sun is your ruler, so you stars couldn't be getting much better. You've just come down from a month long party time, and you are looking at doing it again. I would suggest that you consider setting aside some time for boat maintenance right now, though. Just as a thought.

Virgo [8/24-9/23]: Talk about a week that starts out weak, but has a strong finish to it! Sounds more like a wine. Or whine, as the case may be. Beauty is highlighted this week, along with the concomitant problems of your exquisite taste and judgment. Oh where oh where does it say "judge no lest you be judged"? because that expression really applies this week. Remember, dear Virgo, I did warn you.

Libra [9/24-10/23]: Well, dear Libra, there are just a few minor transits going on right now. Mostly these little movements involve a few minor asteroids so I wouldn't worry about things too much except that these minor asteroids seem to concentrate your ability too worry. So you are a little more high strung than usual. It's not really a problem, just an observation. Delivering this message to a Libra, though, I feel a lot like that poor character who gets beaten by Cleopatra.

Scorpio [10/24-11/23]: Well, dear Scorpio, it's your half birthday, or something close to that. To exacerbate matters, there is a single asteroid floating through your sign which will make behave a lot like a Virgo. Scorpio with Virgo over tones -- it's not a pretty sight. The news that I have, as we approach your half birthday is that you are going into a period of time often referred to as a "slump." I wouldn't worry about it too much -- you emerge on the far side of this "slump" thing as a better person with a more sensible attitude. We just got to get you there, first.

Sagittarius [11/24-12/21]: At the risk of alienating three quarters of the readers -- there's a particular archetype which I refer to as an "Earth Muffin" -- big hips, hairy legs, sandal wearing, tree hugging women. I've had a crush on one or two, so this is by no means a pejorative description. And this so called "Earth Muffin" energy is waxing and waning it's way through the happy archer right now. You might be tempted to settle down. Thing twice, that's all I ask.

Capricorn [12/22-1/20]: There's a planet called Jupiter, who rules Sagittarius, and who works like a cattle prod: 20,000 volts of energy which is sometimes misdirected. Some one came along and juiced you good with the cattle prod. Especially this week. Now, if you can make up your minded on a direction, pick a place to go, you will feel much better. You've got the drive and the stamina, you just need to render a decision. Good luck. Send me a post card from the edge.

Aquarius [1/21-2/18]: I like you fixed air types because you are the utmost in being unpredictable. I say one thing, and you do something else, just to spite me, spite the world at large, and perhaps even tempt fate. Well, Fate (it's actually a town in Rockwall County, Texas) is woven by three spinster sisters, and they are all having one heck of a a time with your fate these days. It just doesn't want to follow any sensible pattern. Sorry, but there is nothing I can do about it, either. You are experiencing gale force winds of change, and this is merely the beginning. Furl the sails and get ready for some heavy weather.

Pisces [2/19-3/22]: After what you've been through, I bet you are one happy camper right now. Making wedding plans? I would hope so. Things just look really, really good for you. Of course, I'm going to assume that you did your homework last winter. You remember when I assigned that reading? No? Better get after it, there will be a test soon.

Week of: Apr. 15-21

Week of: Apr. 15-21

Aries [3/23-4/20]: The significant events in your life, and the stuff (or things or fame and fortune) that you have all wanted now lays firmly within your greedy little grasp. If you really want it, now's the time to go for it. Right now. Do it. Go for it. Grab the brass ring. In case you don't understand that last one, the Universe (or whatever belief system you've got) is conspiring to make your life one long, hard day at the office. The upside is that you reap a reward from hard work.

Taurus [4/21-5/22]: This week will find you a lot more animated than ever before. In fact, you will appear to be so animated, some of your friends won't want to sit in a fishing boat with you, at least, not for long. Be careful that you don't find yourself over-acting when you should just sit down, shut up and fish. When you're bait is in the water, it is a good time to be contemplative and reflective, not running your over-active mouth. Get the hint?

Gemini [5/23-6/21]: The week starts out with a cool angle between Venus, the Goddess of Love, and Pallas, the feminist asteroid of quick and insightful thinking. And what does this mean? If you can, this is a good week to take a serious look at making an investment in the art marketplace. In fact, if you are really interested, I happen to know where you can get some special black velvet painting: Jesus, Elvis and Willie Nelson, the Holy Trinity -- all on one painting. Really. Special deal. Remember, it's not just artwork to enjoy, it's also an investment.

Cancer [6/22-7/22]: I sure hope you overhauled the outboard motor last week. I really do. And charged up the battery for the trolling motor, too, because we are definitely going to need it this weekend. It's time to go trolling. There's a special sweet spot, just under the willows along the northern edge of the lake, I'll show you. We can catch our limit in no time, then take the rest of the day off. Make sure you are ready for the fishing party!

Leo [7/23-8/23]: Is the divorce final yet? Actually, I guess I should back up and start at the beginning... have you started the proceedings for a divorce? Thought about them? Maybe this isn't affecting your love life, but you might find that there is trouble in paradise in respect to a business dealing. If you went halvers on a boat, you might find yourself in a deep trouble because you are going to be "discussing at the top of your lungs" where the boat should go, and whose weekend it is. If you follow my advice, you'll bail out of the partnership.

Virgo [8/24-9/23]: The wedding notion seizes you again this week, and you get even more emotional about it. Sorry about that. You just feel like you should be married right now, and the one thing I would definitely caution you about is making unwise decisions regarding mates. Be wary of "love at first sight" which might be "lust at first sight" which might really turn out to be "disgust at first sight" because that's what the object of your attention will do to you in the long run.

Libra [9/24-10/23]: Go back and read Virgo for this week, so I don't have to copy and paste everything all over again. Basically, this is the message: careful with the romantic relationship questions right now. You are gazing deeply into your own navel, trying figure yourself out, and that should be work enough. Trying to make heads or tales out of some one else's life is just plan foolish. Like I said, check with a Virgo, first.

Scorpio [10/24-11/23]: I've been accused of picking on Scorpio's. But what other sign would be a more apt sign for a little SARCASTIC humor? You realize, and this idea is certainly highlighted this week, that most Scorpio's (I know you are different) have this intense look, and burning stare which melts mere mortals. It looks like you know something. The problem you came face to face with this week is that maybe you don't actually know anything. Someone might be stupid enough to call your bluff.

Sagittarius [11/24-12/21]: This week starts off with a remarkable interest in home and taking care of the homestead, and the week finishes up with you doing something really productive like fixing the riding mower so your significant other (wife, spouse, whatever) can finish mowing the back 40. In other words, probably no fishing this week. That's the bad news. You do, however, manage to clean up a few loose ends around the house.

Capricorn [12/22-1/20]: By now, the good fortune has passed by the Christmas babies, but the later degrees of Capricorn are start to reel a little bit from the effects of Jupiter. To make matters worse, we had a Capricorn moon this week, and you know what that does to you.... Anyway, the pressure is beginning to lessen, if only by a degree, but knocking a stringed instrument out of tune can be unpleasant. What will it be, dear Capricorn?

Aquarius [1/21-2/18]: I would never think about sending anything too highbrow past you guys, but some of the repartee from Shakespeare's Much Ado About Nothing would really, really fit. I was considering some of the opening salvo between Benedict and Beatrice. "She is too low for high praise, to brown for fair praise, and too little for great praise." (I.i.164-6). Get the hint, Bubba? Honeymoon is over, and the new has worn off the boat. Did you make a good decision, or what?

Pisces [2/19-3/22]: The stars have been treating poor, old hapless Pisces with a cruel turn every day for what seems like an eternity. The best of possible news is here: the good times are right ahead, and you are set to enjoy them. Although it is against my nature to wax romantic or happy about an upcoming situation, you are definitely headed in a direction this week which will yield many happy moments. I would appreciate a wedding invitation. I'll decline, of course, but the invite would be nice.

Week of: Apr. 8-14

    Week of: Apr. 8-14

    Aries [3/23-4/20]: You know Easter always signifies a pleasant kind of rebirth process, and the spring time, along with Spring Break, signifies a change a in the seasons when one can experience growth and life, and all that good stuff. It also means that it is time to make sure all the fishing gear is is in place and that you have a current fishing license. Just a friendly reminder because you don't want unwarranted visits from a game warden this week.

    Taurus [4/21-5/22]: You get lit up by good old Mr. Mercury this week. While most Taurus types are accused of being slow, this small planet whips you into a high degree of mental activity -- your mind will literally be racing from point to point, and most of your friends and acquaintances will wonder where the energy is coming from. Don't be too surprised if there is talk of checking your caffeine intake, or someone wants to look through your medicine cabinet because of all your activity. Tell them all to get over it -- you are just a little mercurial right now.

    Gemini [5/23-6/21]: You are going into a phase when it would help you to learn to be a little more passive. Not passive aggressive, but this week is one in which inner discipline like mediation is a good idea. Venus brings her calm and benevolent influence to you this week so use it wisely -- contemplation (not normally one of your better traits) is highlighted as a possible avenue for you. I would suggest a strong cup of coffee and a prolonged morning session with the comics because spiritual enlightenment can always be found in the funny papers.

    Cancer [6/22-7/22]: Work is heating up and romantic relationships are cooling down. Or rather, work is going well, but the romance department has left you a little confused. That's the problem with romantic relationships: some part of the equation never, ever equal;s the other part. Balance in romance is what you are looking for this week, and, sad to say, it ain't happening this week, either. Shoulder on through workload.

    Leo [7/23-8/23]: It looks like just about everyone else is having a difficult go of this week, but for you Leo types out there, well, it's a good time to party on. Unless, of course, you live in either Washington D.C., or Harris County. In those two extremes, I would exercise a high degree of caution. But the rest of you guys? It's going to be a good week.

    Virgo [8/24-9/23]: If you have suddenly noticed a ringing in your head, it isn't something a doctor can do anything about: it's wedding bells. No, that doesn't mean that you are going to take the plunge (if you haven't already), it just means that this is a thought which seems to occupy your central brain thinking unit this week. In a big way, romance and relationships are occupying a lot of what you are thinking about.

    Libra [9/24-10/23]: Relationships, especially of the romantic variety, are under close scrutiny this week. Looks like your significant other is taking a long and hard look at you. On a brighter note, there is movement afoot at work which should bring you some reward. I would be careful, though, of any type of multi-level marketing scheme which seems to be too good to be true. It probably is.

    Scorpio [10/24-11/23]: Scorpio's are renowned far and wide for their sexual proclivities and the inherent intensity of their sign. The problem you face this week is that the inherent proclivity seems to have taken a vacation. In other words, despite everything being wonderful and rosy, you are acting a bit like a Virgo. Get over your silly self and quit taking things so seriously.

    Sagittarius [11/24-12/21]: "Fly! Be Free! Splat!" That little ditty just about sums up what your week is like -- you have an urge towards freedom, a giant desire to run away, and every time you try to take off -- splat! You land face first. Fortunately, you are a Sagittarius, and as such, you always manage to make it look good. The splat, that i s, you manage to make it look good, almost like you panned it that way.

    Capricorn [12/22-1/20]: Well, it has started, finally. About three, maybe four years ago, you started building towards this moment, and it has finally gotten here. So much for the good news. Now, you must be ready to capitalize on the events which are taking place, even as you read thus, events which will help propel you forward in the work place. That's the good news. And, of course, there is the ever-present influence of Jupiter's benevolent influence, too, just making your picture a little more rosy than most. And who was it who suggested that I was never nice to Capricorn's?

    Aquarius [1/21-2/18]: There are some fundamental changes occurring deep within your psyche, and these changes will probably be reflected in your actions and wardrobe choices this week. Be careful about what you wear: I realize that is a tacky suggestion to an Aquarius, but there you have it: your choice in attire is changing drastically and you don't want to get too far ahead of the crowd.

    Pisces [2/19-3/22]: Love is in the air, and you have reverted to a state where you are most happy: dream land. This is a good thing for you. Life has never been better, and you will notice that the spring growth is prettier than usual, and you feel better than usual. In fact, I would look for some windfall profit this week, too, just to be on the safe side.