Week of: 8/2-9
"Hear'st thou, Mars?"
Coriolanus in Shakespeare's Coriolanus (V.v)
Aries : It's not a time for you to engage in wild speculations. I know you've got some great ideas, but a little penny pinching, and some pecuniary measures right now could help save you a lot. And, whatever you don't spend this week, and stick into the old sock under the mattress, pays off really well in the future. I'm no financial genius; in fact, when it comes to picking stocks, I can always get that one which will "show" rather than "win". You're going to emulate my ability in this area, especially this week. So lower your expectations, and don't be too critical of yourself. Money isn't everything. Well, maybe it is, but we'll say it's not, especially this week.
Taurus : It's summer time. School hasn't started yet. Everyone is on vacation. And I'm going to tell you to get yourself to the cleaners and get all of the high-powered business suits all cleaned and pressed. Break out them "Dallas" white shirts, the ones with all the starch in them. Get dressed up and get ready for war. I don't mean war in the conventional sense, but it is a time to start paying strict attention to the bottom line. Some one has to do it, and that responsibility now rests firmly on your shoulders. Better get used to it because this is a weight that you are going to bear for a while. I guess that's why they put them shoulder pads in suits, to help ease your burden.
Gemini : "Chop wood, carry water" is what the Masters say. Maybe that's a bit too esoteric for you. I know you have information in one of those books you've got, all about this concept. Since you don't seem to have the time to figure this one out, what it means is that it's time for you to roll up your sleeves and do a little bit of manual labor. Not anything heavy, just something to keep your idle hands busy. I know, I know, you claim you don't have time for yard work, or mowing the lawn, or even cleaning the kitchen floor, but it really is a good idea right now. Take a beak from mental exercise and do something mindless for a bit. Your brain will thank me. And this mindless work will clarify a persistent brain teaser -- after you get done.
Cancer : I know you are getting tired of hearing about romance but with the love duet doing a minuet in the sign of the Moon Child, Venus and Mars are bringing all sorts of nice and wonderful thoughts and visions dancing in your head. Of course, these thoughts and visions dancing in your head are a little early for Christmas, but you get the idea. Imagine yourself in a Winter Wonderland, and consider this a mental vacation from the summer heat. This vacation package is sponsored by FGS World Headquarters, on the South Shore of Austin's Town Lake. Enjoy the ride, Bubba. As soon as the mental vacation is over, you're going to find yourself back in reality, and even that's going to be a pretty good thing this week.
Leo : We should all be having a big Leo birthday bash this week. This sign is ready for some good things to happen, and it's set to happen now. Or pretty soon, anyway. On the one side of the emotional meter, you're doing pretty good. On the other side, this whole "another year older" thing is getting to be a bit tiresome. Here's a hint: you're not any older, just more chronologically advanced now. And with age, a little wisdom comes. In other words, you're getting smarter. I'll wager that you are getting much better at getting around those young ones. Age and guile have their uses.
Virgo : Look at a little Sagittarius this week. It's not bad, it's just this almighty fate thing that's got you down. If I could get you to shut off that fabulous Virgo mind for just a moment, you might feel a lot better. Your mate, or your significant other, or your intended, or your prey, or whatever you want to call that romantic interest, is going to come under a lot of close scrutiny this week. Lighten up on him or her or it. You don't need to pick on us so! We're doing the best that we can! I promise. Just because it looks like they are spending too much time in a boat, away from you, doesn't mean that they don't think about you, maybe once in every ten minutes.
Libra : No impending doom this week. No problems with annoying asteroids. No problems with big planets, either. No problems at all, well, except, perhaps, maybe there's this one little problem that you will experience this week. It's like, I don't know, maybe it's like being out in a bass boat, along the edge of the lake, in some overhanging tree branches, and there just isn't anything biting except the horse flies. Still, you look at the scenery, hear the hum of the trolling motor, and you know, deep in your Libra heart of hearts that all is well with your world. It could be worse, you know, remember the old adage: a bad a day fishing is better than a good day at work.
Scorpio : There are good weeks, and then there are weak weeks. And this is one of those that is sort of stuck in between. And you feel like you are sort of stuck in between, too. There isn't one particularly nasty astrological influence this week, just a number of little one which don't seem to be very nice. All of this is compounded, like interest on a credit card, by the whole structure of things. Now, before you think I'm picking on poor, much-maligned Scorpio's again, consider this: there is a fleeting, but good, influence as far as the love interest things goes, so its either compound interest on a loan, or love interest in the romance section. You make the call.
Sagittarius : It's time for your monthly "date with destiny" and this isn't some sort of infernal XXX spam from somebody called "Destiny at Hotmail 4 U" either. No sirree bob, this is the real thing. It's been happening every month for years now, about every 28 and half days, and it's this week again. The usual warnings apply, you know, watch out for Scorpio's, Gemini's, Aries, and the odd Pisces making life your life miserable this week. And whatever you do, do not let the evil gnomes who live under the bridge get to this week. They are there, gnawing away at your foundations of reality, but this really shouldn't trouble you all week.
Capricorn : This is not a good week for using strong medicine on weaker opponents, as much as you want to. It's not a good week for railroading your way through the business meeting. You lack a certain degree of finesse this week, and don't make up for that by trying the shotgun approach. Scatter guns are useful for Dove Hunting, which is a religious experience in the Texas Hinterlands, but that same approach won't work too well with your business buddies. Since you lack the usual aplomb this week, try faking it. Works for me, and it should work for you, too.
Aquarius : The good news is supposed to be something along the lines of "You will win the Texas State Lottery this week" but alas, according to the fine tuning I've done to the astro fish finder, I'm not sure that is actually going to be the case. But it could happen. Now, I don't want to appear cynical, but I've seen so few people actually win the lottery that I would wonder about the odds. However, it's another week in Aquarius Land, and you should have some surprising, unusual, and unusually good, news fall into your lap this week. Be ready for a lap dance of some kind, if you know what I mean.
Pisces : You are going to have a good week. Starts great, tastes great, and this week has 30% fewer calories than the regular week. We did have that little talk, last week, about watching your intake and digestion of high calorie foods, didn't we? No? Well, I meant to have that talk with you. I would exercise a just tad bit of caution in the middle of the week, though, because you might be tempted to take the good news about the fewer calories and tend towards over consumption. That's not a good idea this week.