It is the stars,
    The stars above us, govern our conditions,
    Else one same mate and make could not beget
    Such different issues.

Kent in Shakespeare's King Lear (IV.iii.218)

Aries : There's a high degree of activity around the Aries part of the sky right now. It's not so much that there is anything happening in your own sign, but the there are lots of things happening in adjacent signs, and sings once or twice removed, and that makes for some activity in your own sign. Ever eat breakfast at a diner where the coffee didn't taste particularly good, but it was seasoned well enough? The coffee pot is stained with a deep brown, almost black color? After your breakfast slides on down into your stomach, the coffee keeps coming. And you keep drinking it until you get to this point where you can almost vibrate into an alternate dimension. You know you need to stop, slow down, or let everyone else catch up this week. The problem is, sitting in that diner, the java just keeps on coming. Doesn't slow you down any. And that's a problem.

Taurus : The excruciating pressure of the last few weeks finally relents a little this week. Some of the problems now become "other peoples' problems" as the week unfolds. Gradually, inch by inch, more like about two degrees in the Astrology Fish Radar, you get the much needed break and rest. Saturn is two degrees away from its angle with Uranus, and Jupiter is two degrees past Saturn by the end of the week. See? I told it was all better now. In your Taurus brain right now, though, you still have some questions about this "all better now" stuff I keep suggesting. It is a lot better, if only by a degree. To help this along, you get two things coming up: one is a chance to finally rest. You've been waiting on that, and you finally get your afternoon nap. Looks like the middle of the week to me. The second thing is a strange little send off from the Moon. The New Moon helps start a process by which all of the recent events are starting to make more sense. Look: it's like sins headache, and suddenly the pain begins to subside, and that internal pressure is lessened.

Gemini : There are still vague rumblings from the distant horizon -- it's like watching a storm approaching, the low thunderclouds silhouetted against a back drop of purple desert mountains, the lightening flares and sparks up the sky. Moments later, there's a deep bass trembling as the thunder rolls across the valley's floor, making a noise similar to a passing Low Rider's deep bass. Both noises have more vibration than real volume. And it's from these distant rumblings that you can begin to discern a correct and positive direction. Being Gemini, and seeing as how you're wired for 220 volts this week, I would make sure that your other circuits can stand that much voltage. Trying to do too much this week might just blow your own subwoofers, causing a lot of static during a time when lots of static isn't necessarily the best solution to distant thunder in Gemini land.

Cancer : The concept that's been kicking around in the astrology lab here at HQ for the last few weeks is dealing with an established pattern over the last 20 years because that's how often Saturn and Jupiter seem to get together. Now, this pattern is beginning to yield some cosmic information,and it has a lot to do with your destiny, your fate and so forth. Of course, in the real world, there are still some problems which need to be dealt with, and those problems are all in one container this week. To me, it looks like a backpack, or maybe a fishing creel, but your container might vary. It could be a briefcase, or even a hard drive on a your computer. Maybe just a floppy disk. Whatever. This container needs to be opened this week, and the sooner, the better. You rip open the container, out spring the various ills that you need to deal with, and you feel like you've opened a veritable "Pandora's Box" of troubles. The local name for this item is usually "a can of whoop ass," but in any case, you get the idea. Now, you got his thing open, what are you going to do? Bright, cheery, Cancer face. Yeppers, nothing works better than picking up the pieces and starting to tackle all them little problems,one at a time. Don't be picky, wade right on in, and grab one.... Then move on the next. By the end of the week, you'll be amazed at what you've gotten done.

Leo : There is relief in sight. Okay, since you're a Leo, maybe it isn't in sight, but you can certainly feel that there's some relief in right around the corner. In Texas, we usually refer to this as "over yonder" and vague gesture at the horizon, the sky, up a creek, some place else. And that's what this week is going to feel like. There's still that itch you can't quite get to, and that's coming courtesy of of the recurrent theme of Saturn and Jupiter, with their "every 20 years" little dance. Now, Jupiter, he moves pretty quickly, and he's moving towards a point where he's going to bring some relief. The problem this week is that he ain't there yet, and it doesn't much matter where you are, the real solution to all of you problems right now really is "over yonder."

Virgo : One of the biggest fears I've ever had is opening up the front door of my trailer and finding the bright lights of the evening news team there, a large microphone stuck in my face. You've got a week with this sort of recurrent nightmare possible. It's hard to imagine this getting any worse, but it can because you're not sure what you did. I would suggest that you didn't do anything, but my suggestions and the feeling that there is a very public spotlight on you right now might vary. Heaven only knows what brought you the sudden appeal this week, but it has something to do with stuff in the heavens, namely, Mars and Venus and the Gemini Sun, all making things less than wonderful for you. There's a break, though, because once you get through the early part of the week, this publicity turns out to be good for you. It's just getting over that initial hump, that initial shock, that initial blast of light. With Venus and Mars so prominent in this equation of you and the News this week, I suspect this is something your significant other brought upon you.

Libra : The first part of this week is a little strange because the moon is making life a little uncomfortable, and Monday derives its name from certain roots which are associated with the Lunar Cycle. So you don't much like the beginning of the week. But as the Moon and Sun start to get a lot closer together, things seem to turn around for you. You are going to find that this is one of those weeks which is like getting up too early to go fishing, one of those weekends when you you're supposed to be up before the dawn's rosy fingers start to streak across the sky, but for some reason, you just slap the "snooze" button, roll over, and go back to sleep. Fortunately, your understanding friends are also a little late this week, so your relative tardiness won't be noticed. It is a good time for getting out and getting something started afresh, but it's going to require extra effort to make sure you don't over sleep.

Scorpio : This is one of those months that's just been one long haul for you. And think, June doesn't look that much better, not from where you're sitting. In fact, it does get better, but I'm not pushing my luck with Scorpio for this week. It looks like everyone else has pushed their luck with you, and even the best natured of Scorpio's can only take so much. Reminds me of sitting down to an interview (I was a journalist at the time), and the rather tired person on the other end was telling me, "Okay, it's your three minutes, and I've been through this already...." That sarcastic Scorpio wit can save you at a time like this. That slightly caustic style is useful, and a week like this is a good example of when to use it. There is one worrisome note, however, and that's to make sure that you don't over do it. Don't let that Scorpio sarcasm and wit get to far from its target. You don't want to hurt some needlessly, and nothing is worse than having to go back and say, "I'm sorry." Use a little bit of caution.

Sagittarius : The forces of nature are always something to contend with. And a recent high wind modified my living arrangement: I had a plastic tarp stretched across the back door of the trailer, making a very pleasant awning and patio. In fact, this had been up for while, and it was -- I thought -- a more or less permanent structure. But like the wind which ripped my awning away, you've got something which is going to blow through your sign this week, and you're going to find that there is suddenly a lot of light where everything was once dark. Now, I miss the shade, but the various plants on the patio are enjoying the sunlight a whole lot more. So as this week's astrological weather manages to modify something in your life, consider that this change is ultimately for the good. Be glad that it was only a piece of plastic that sheered off, and not a piece of the roof, too. The result of this week is good, it';s just sometimes the route seems a little abrupt. Try looking on the bright side -- I am.

Capricorn : "Looks like it's going to be a scorcher," is the common comment at this point in the Texas Weather. And whether or not you're really in Texas, this week looks like it will be a hot one, according to the Capricorn chart I was looking at. There's a strange little structure in the way the planets align this week, and a weird offset by Mars is what's causing it to be a full summer effect in Capricorn. Of course, there are ways to deal with this blast of summer heat, and a long, tall, cool glass of ice tea with a delicious sprig of mint in it comes to mind. The problem is that you have a some stuff at work which really requires some over time effort on your part. And as much as I would like to recommend a different beverage, that ice tea has a little caffeine which will help as you put in some extra working hours. Something cool, refreshing, relaxing, yet sobering, will help with this week's work load.

Aquarius : One of my friends here in town has this "classic" truck. I do believe that the vehicle itself is older than either of us. And finding the correct parts and pieces to keep it running is a bit of a challenge. In fact, recently, my friend hasn't been able to find a correct battery for this old truck, a weird 6–volt thing. It might be that he's too cheap to buy a new battery, so getting going in the old truck is always an interesting experience. This week, you need to pick your parking spots with care. In that old truck, the slightest incline works great, just hop in, release the emergency brake, coast down the hill to build up a little momentum, and pop the clutch. It's all a matter of picking the right place to park, and remembering to have a key in the ignition when you want to pull away. Not all modern vehicles have such easy starting instructions, but with the planets in Gemini, you should be able to coax some new life into an old situation — especially this week. Just make sure you're pointed in the right direction.

Pisces : I once helped a friend move a trailer, he was in trouble with the local trailer park, and we only had to move him halfway across town. Of course, he didn't make all the correct preparations for this little journey, so by the time we got his place set up on blocks at the new location, and about the time we got the propane hooked back up, there was this disaster inside the trailer, just waiting to happen. Glad I wasn't smoking a cigar at the moment. Your life has been treated to such a trip lately, and all I can suggest is that you take a few extra minutes to review everything BEFORE you make a move. In frantic haste brought to you by all the stuff in Gemini, you've overlooked one or two important details this week. All I'm suggesting is that you review your work, and don't hesitate to check twice — it's a Gemini thing, that checking twice.

"I am but mad north-north-went: when the wind is southerly I know a hawk from a handsaw."

Hamlet in Shakespeare's Hamlet (II.ii.498)

Every 20 years or so, Saturn and Jupiter line up for a little while.. Saturn is often interpreted as behaving as a restrictive influence on Jupiter's ebullient nature. Looking at the year and all, though, I wonder if Jupiter won't serve to lighten Saturn's load this time.

Aries : All the big events in the sky, previously alluded to are certainly big deals for some of the signs. But I was looking at your chart for the week, and I couldn't help but notice that a relatively minor influence is going to be bothering you this week. That relatively minor influence is the pesky lunar phase. So despite all the good stuff elsewhere in your personal heavens, there's still a the tiniest amount of emotional imbalance which is agitating you. Of course, no agitation reference is complete unless we look at the history of the washing machine. You through a bunch of soiled outerwear into a machine with some soap, it launders everything and then you throw it all in the dryer. Sitting in one of my neighbor's trailer, there's one of those old fashioned wringer things, the kind that was used before we all had dryers. The problem with this week is that the moon puts you through the wringer, just to squeeze out the excess moisture. Then you get hung out to dry. The good news is that laundry is temporary thing, and is possible to avoid the wringer by going to a modern laundromat -- that saves on the emotional wear and tear this week.

Taurus : It's either really good, or it's really bad. A perfect fishing allegory is what this week begs. You're sitting in a boat, fishing pole in your hand. There is someone else in the boat, too, same type of pole, same bait, same lure, everything is identical except for your position in the boat. This week is like that. Either you or your partner is going to be reeling in fish after fish. One of you two will be doing exceptionally well. One of you two will be close to setting record. The other one, and this might be my fine Taurus friend, is sitting there, wondering how come it doesn't work for you. With a certain restless urge, you swap positions with your partner. Doesn't matter. Now, there's a 50/50 chance that it's Taurus who is reeling in the all the fish. There's also a chance that you are the one who is smitten with envy. This week is a test of your ability to be as diplomatic as possible about this situation because neither gloating nor envy is particularly attractive. The test is from Uranus making a waning aspect to that pesky Saturn and Jupiter thing in your sky.

Gemini : There is a sudden upset in the world of Gemini's this week. Along with this sudden upset, there is a certain victory, but be forewarned, this triumph has tragedy written all over it. Imagine the exciting and clever ending to "Much Ado About Nothing" where the truth is told, and John (the illegitimate reprobate) is censured for his lies. He managed to besmirch a lady's integrity, get the whole court pitted against one another, and then slip out the back door. After the cop (Dogberry) figures it all out, there is happy ending (as happy as can be with folks getting married). Just about any good production of this play sets me to tears at the end, even though I know what is going to happen. You too, might be moved to tears this week, and you, too, might be lead astray by false information -- at first. Mars, Venus, The Sun, and the ever so fleet of word, Mercury are all causing this mayhem. But like the play, there is a happy resolution to it all.

Cancer : Last week, I was comparing you to a certain bird of prey and I was attempting to wax poetic about birds of prey, the great hunters like the hawk, and how it's easy to confuse them with a local variation, the Turkey Buzzard (sometimes referred to as a Black Vulture, if my literature is correct). There's another kind of bird that I've seen in South Texas: the Zone Tailed Hawk. According to the textbook, these birds are common in Central America but they never make it up into the United States. That's not entirely the case because I've seen them in the Trans Pecos and Big Bend area before. The Zone Tailed Hawk hangs out in the skies with a the Turkey Buzzards. So here's this little rabbit, he looks up at the sky, figures ain't nothing there but some buzzards, and comes out of his ground cover. Suddenly, in a flurry of feathers and flesh, that rabbit is lunch for the Zone Tailed Hawk. The rabbit's last thoughts are, "darn funny buzzard..." To dove tail this metaphor into your week, are you the Zone Tailed Hawk or the rabbit; can you follow what Hamlet was saying?

Leo : There's going to be a big shake up at work and then everything smoothes right on over the way it is supposed to. You're perhaps the finest sign in the zodiac, but there are 11 other signs that might take issue with that statement. That's why I have to phrase it "perhaps" so you and I don't alienate anyone else. And as long as you're feeling magnanimous this week, let's make sure that you don't tread on anyone else's toes because you might have to go back and kiss those feet later. That's always a problem. This is a final week to something that you've been working on, and as much as I would like to see this project all wrapped up now, it might take a little longer than you think. Be careful with your good graces this week, and watch where you put your Leo paws since you don't want to have to go back and apologize next week.

Virgo : It wasn't until recently, like just last week, that i finally heard from that one Virgo who complains all the time. "But I don't complain that much!" Except about twice a week, and it doesn't much matter what I commit to print, the one Virgo screams loud and long about how inaccurate I am -- although -- that particular person does continue to read the horoscope each week, if just to exception with whatever I say. This is going to be a different week. This is going to be a time when that Virgo will suddenly feel ever so much better. That one Virgo will suddenly get a light bulb on over her head, and go, "Hey, it IS getting better this week!" While this only applies to one person, there's a common thread here that entwines itself around the theme, and the Jupiter and Saturn thing over rules just about anything else in the Virgo sky, and that makes this a good week. Even for that one reader who doesn't like me. Imagine that.

Libra : I was looking at Birds of Prey in the other signs, but for your sign, I was looking more for a similar sounding verb: pray. There's something that you've been praying for, something that you have been invoking for your own course in life, something that you desire, and the thank the heavens, you chattering with God, the gods, or whatever belief system you have in place, thankfully some of your rambling and disseminating prayers are going to be answered. Minor miracles to some, but to a decent Libra, this week, even a minor miracle can seem pretty good. Enjoy the break, it's one that you've fought for, and suddenly, it seems like whatever floats your boat is going to deliver this stuff. As the planets begin to line up in Gemini, this provides a minor form of relief, and gets your vocal cords agitated, in a good way. Remember to thank whoever it is that is responsible for whatever good fortune you enjoy this week -- it's about time.

Scorpio : This week just seems to crawl by. It starts out with this slow march which never feels like it will ever improve. There's an inexorable pace which the wheels in the sky seem to be turning at, and alas, it's only Monday. In fact, the beginning of the week will feel like a whole week of Monday's all got together and camped out on your desk, your workbench, or in your trailer. But there's a gradual shift taking place and we are in the "waxing" aspect of the stuff up in the sky which means that the planets are slowly pulling apart, and as the planets begin to separate, the world of Scorpio begins to get a little bit better. I'm watching Venus for you guys right now, and by the end of the week, there are a couple of Venus flavored things that are improving in your life. Typically, Venus is love, but I tend to look on the broader side of this. This is the weekend when you might uncover that one special piece of art work that you've been looking for: Dogs Playing Poker on Black Velvet. As the week draws to a close, such treasures might be delivered by Venus.

Sagittarius : There's been a big explosion, probably last week, and I hope that this was just a figure of speech, that big Sagittarius outburst. The problem being, this week, you're still a little "hot under the collar" as they say, and you ain't ready to address the problem where you just might have to utter those impossible words, "You were right, I was wrong...." Let's be totally honest here, you might have over stepped your limits in an over zealous moment last week -- you might have gone overboard. You might have fallen into that typical Sagittarius trait and promised just a little too much. What are you going to do about it? This is one of the weeks when there's a serious irritation level in your life, and the best thing to do is nothing. Consider it. Consider several courses of action, possibly plot revenge. But as long as Mars is in Gemini, this is definitely not a good week to actually extract exact renumeration for past grievance. You might want to let this one alone for a spell.

Capricorn : This is one of the grandest times of all for Capricorn. Other folks might be dissembling with the effects of Saturn and Jupiter, but you are excelling like never before. Saturn is intimately associated with your sign. Jupiter is pushing you and Saturn to new heights. While we're at it, the stuff in Gemini is also exciting you and your buddies at work. But comments about all work and no play don't get very far this week. As long as work is looking good, consider some other outside influences which are also good. There is a strange allure from an unbidden suitor at a time like this. Now, you get to decide, this week, whether or not you are going to answer the call of this stranger. Can be good. Can be very good. There's a serene calm you can exude right now, and if you use this serenity, it's a lot like an oil slick which serves to calm a formerly troubled water. Just make sure that it's not a toxic spill, and try to stick to the metaphor instead of the actual event.

Aquarius : Saturn and Jupiter are moving as a pair right now. In the grand scheme of things, this isn't so uncommon because it happens every 20 years or so. But in the fine tuned Aquarius picture, this is a little bit more of a problem even though it's a waning aspect for you. See, the planet voted to win the affection of Aquarius is Uranus, and he's sharply angled to the two big guys in the morning sky. This makes for some rather unsettling energies this week. "Folks who live in glass houses...." is the expression. Now the questions this expression begs are varied. Do you live in a glass house, or is there something that you do in secret being exposed.? Or are you the one who is outside and needs to bring a visible action to the media's attention? One way or another, you've got some changes which are taking place so you're going to want to dictate which role you play. I'd just be very careful before you start throwing rocks.

Pisces : One of my more erudite and educated friends has a secret passion, one that is not usually discussed in public: my learned colleague enjoys stupid action adventure movies, the kind with more violence and a high body count and little, if any, plot to get in the way of the action. It's a great way to spend an afternoon, a great way to suspend the actions of the mind, and completely lose one's self in the mindless parade of simulated death and destruction. No imagine one of these movies being filmed in your world, some pace like your own home. Remember, it's celluloid (or video tape) -- it's not real. But there's a strange bit of energy that's floating around, and as long as Mars is down in Gemini, you're going to be feeling like they are making just such a film in your home.

"O, I do not like that paying back. 'Tis a double labor."
Falstaff in Shakespeare's King Henry IV, Part the First, III.iii.179

The universe is doing a little bit of borrowing and spending right now, and since Falstaff was always the consummate sensualist, then he's the right one to invoke this week. Mars is stirring up a mess of trouble in Gemini while the major inner guys are all stuck in Taurus. It's like a week when the bad bill collector comes a-callin'. And Neptune turns retrograde over yonder in Aquarius.

Aries : The previous week, in one form or another, left you feeling a tongue tied. Being twisted up inside and unable to accurately and effectively communicate just exactly what is going on leaves you a little frustrated. There seems to be a lot of planets which are pushing and pulling on you, and you're just not sure where to start. But with Mars getting nice warm over yonder in Gemini, you're going to find that something has "loosed you tongue" as the expression goes. And the behavior which is most often associated with this is that your friends, family, and buddies at work are not always willing to listen to this great torrent of words pouring forth. While I might tend to wax a little eloquent, you're going to find that even your most beatific erudition is lost on some of the less enlightened souls you encounter this week. Warm up the quill and wax eloquent in written form, then practice giving this some new delivery. It's the way you approach your stage that's going to help warm your audience this week.

Taurus : The madness is supposed to be subsiding now. The pressure is supposed to be off. The outside forces which have exerted an untoward influence in your meager Taurus life is supposed to be getting a lot better. Would that it were so! And would that I could make it so. You're still sitting on a gold mine, and the cosmic forces, or whatever belief system you have in place, is delivering the goods. The trick is, and this is the important part, is making sure that you place yourself in the right place, at the right time, and you want to make sure that you're not "out" when "it" arrives. For the longest time, I had a kindly neighbor who always be there, at the next trailer over, to accept UPS and FedEX packages when I was away. In fact, this neighbor would safeguard this packages for me. And to make this even better, one time when he forget to leave me a message, and I checked with the carrier, his signature was clear enough to read. That's being thoughtful. But you're going to have a week where you're going to keep hopping from spot to spot, and if you would only remain in one place long enough... "it" might catch up with you.

Gemini : By the end of the week (because every Gemini always looks towards the future), Mercury will be creeping into your sign. And Mercury was once voted as the planet to be represent your sign, the planet which is named for the fleet footed winged messenger of the gods, the child of Zeus. That means we've got some good news right around the corner. It's happening now. Even as you're reading this, there is a gradual, beneficial event taking place in your life. It's about time, too. You've got some dark thoughts which have been troubling you as of late, and rather than keeping this all to yourself, you're beginning to discover that you can turn some of these troubling thoughts into a script for a screenplay. So this week, you're going to want to write a synopsis of this screenplay, beginning, middle and end, then you'll start to show it around. With Mercury not getting here until the weekend, though, you might want to hold onto this plot. some of the details are going to be changing soon.

Cancer : In many of the old, classical literature stories, there are lengthy definitions and descriptions about the food be served at the banquet. How it was served, what was served, how the serving people were dressed, and so forth. Mars is kicking around in your 12th house, and as such, Mars is making dreams of past lives (if you believe the New Age stuff) come popping into your subconscious mind right now. That, and the moon herself is also making some rather exciting moves as far as you are concerned. This is also good, sort of. You're going to feel like you're watching just such a feast day go on. you're going to feel like you're almost a part of the revelries. You're going to feel "almost." It's a close call because the relative position of lots of stuff in Taurus is good, and the Moon slices you in a decent way this week. But the Mars position feels a little bit like it's all a dream. Now, you can dive right on into the dream, and that's sometimes the best course of action.

Leo : Ever feel like you're just not sure if you're going in the right direction? It's like looking for that one spot to fish on, that one spot on the lake where the dappled shade makes it feel like it's just a little bit cooler, and the stash of empty beer cans suggests that someone else has fished here before? Just as soon as you get settled in, you notice some kid is up on the bridge, and he's suddenly pulling a decent sized catch while, even though you are enjoying the shade, you get that feeling which suggests that the spot you in has already been all fished out. Think about it be fore you hastily pick u your fishing pole and saunter off towards the bridge to fish over there. Think about it, my fine Leo friend, because there is an influence which suggests that "over there" is not necessarily a superior position to "where you're at right now." Blame it on the Moon or, maybe Mars, but I would suggest a little less restless activity this week will help you land what it is that your looking for. And the shade along the bank is better location for you.

Virgo : I've watched Virgo's for many years. In one system o astrology, according to one fan, I am a Virgo. Of course, if this is true, I tend to use my Virgo analysis and disparage that claim. For many years, things have just been plan old tough for the Virgo group. And this week, there are numerous good influences bring some well-deserved rewards to Virgo land. There's also one little problem, and it has to do with a creepy Mars. AS that one planet slides into Gemini, it brings a good deal of relief to some much beleaguered fixed sign. Regrettably, you're not on the the signs who feels this relief. And as long as Mars is gallivanting through Gemini, it's going to cause a minor degree of frustration. The weight of some recent decisions are hanging in the balance this week, and you've got to use your brain to figure out what is the best course of action. With the way the other planets stack up, though, this is a good time for this type of decision making process.

Libra : There's as special sense that this big alignment of planets has created in the Libra world. Suddenly, there are more important things under the sun than just the middle ground that you've been dealing. Larger issues have been looming on your horizon for a while now, and you have to do something to put a lot of this in perspective. There are questions about your place in the world, questions about how all of this puzzle of life fits together, and the good news is that this week, there's a missing piece which you have been seriously searching for, and you find it. In this jigsaw puzzle of life, all you had to do was look in the right place. It's like the puzzle sitting on the coffee table in the trailer's living room: there is still a piece missing, but you know it's going to turn up someplace. And if you keep looking, this is a week when just such a missing piece will turn up. Of course, I'm of the opinion that the cat made off with the puzzle piece, but that's just me. She hasn't confessed to anything yet.

Scorpio : The incredible odds that you've been facing are finally inching in your direction. It reminds me of part of a scene from Shakespeare's Antony and Cleopatra, "Am I not an inch of fortune better than she?" (Iras talking to the soothsayer, I.ii.98). And this week, with a minor but relatively good movement, the planets inch in your direction. There is always one Scorpio who will take great umbrage at what I say, but over all, this is a week when the highwater mark has been reached, the tide turns, and the receding waves leave a vast expanse of smooth sand on which you can start afresh. That means, like the surf gradually receding, the swells have left an open stretch of beach on which you can work. Personally, I think a little surf fishing might be in order. But that's just me. The recent turmoil means it's time to let this stuff fall back into place, and that smooth bit of beach, that wet sand, is a good place to carve your name and beginning new again.

Sagittarius : Relationships are still a major focal point for you. It's like looking at one of those pictures where all the lines point to an imaginary point off the canvas. This is kicked into gear early this week by both the Moon and Mars, strictly speaking. And while Mars is in Gemini, where he's going to be a for a spell, it's time to get used to the idea that you're going to encounter an obstacle or two along the way. Of course, you are a Sagittarius, and we are known for ability to leap tall buildings or similar obstacles, in a hurry. As the week slowly unfolds, it's like an old road map. There are many destinations available, but you've got to select what seems best for you. And while you're perusing this map for the week, you might want to check back with your own self, and make sure that you're picking a destination for the right reason. Running away certainly looks good to me, but it's not always the correct solution to a problem. Just because it works for me, doesn't mean that it's a good idea this week. So pick where you're going this week with a degree of care.

Capricorn : It's been a long haul for my suffering Capricorn friends, and this week is still an upward and onward week for you. That means it is a good time. The problems that we're all facing just seem to slide right off your Capricorn back this week. In fact, there will be days this week when you're in a big hurry to get certain tasks accomplished, and you move so fast that no one else can seem to keep u with you. You look back at the end of the day, dust yourself off, and think, "Wow, did I really get all that work done?" Sure you did. Thank the lucky star, thank Saturn (your ersatz ruler) and thank whatever deity heads up your belief system. Or just send me some money. Either one works, but I'm not a deity. There will always be one or two capricious Capricorn's this week, and for those guys, I don't have any words of wisdom, much beyond it really is getting better. This is a week to make sure that you have your priorities in order before you hit the ground running. It looks like you're trying to juggle a cell phone on one ear and a land line on the other ear. It might help to try talking out of the side of your mouth in order to get everything accomplished.

Aquarius : You get a flying tackle from an old love flame interest this week. I don't know a better way to describe this than to descend into some rather tired sports metaphors. It's a blind side tackle. It's a clear play that deserves a red flag. It's also clearly going to be over looked by the referee. Doesn't that just irritate you to no end? It irks me, even though it's not me that's getting hit from behind. It's like the whole rule book was disposed of, and no one saw what happened. Sorry about that. I hate it when this sort of stuff happens, especially to a good sign like an Aquarius. The good news is that this bad play from the field of love is over with by the end of the week. I'm looking at a Venus and Neptune Square, along with several other tawdry astrological challenges this week, and yes, you do come out on top. The problem is that the officials just ignore your every plea for fair play. Be aware of that, and keep looking over your shoulder for that tackle.

Pisces : I lived in trailer out west, many years ago, and in the same trailer park, there was a Ham Radio operator. He had more stuff invested in the electronic goodies populating his trailer, more financial resources were sunk into his various antennas than he had wrapped up in the roof over his head. I'm pretty sure he could talk to any foreign country, and probably several planets as well. This is a week when you need to imitate the actions of this former neighbor. Get out the radio gear, hook up the antennas, get on the air, get with the program. Things have changed in some arenas, but the idea of getting out there with some sort of interstellar communication device which is based out of your home isn't such a bad idea. The other thing to consider is is what is the message your sending out? In his case, I'm pretty sure, it as nothing more than a friendly, "Howdy! Howarechew?" sort of thing. You might have amazing luck with a similar expression this week, no matter what the local dialect is.

This is it. The big starry line up of the planets. The big day. The big week. It took some deep meditation, a nice cigar, and a little time petting the cat who has certain Taurus like sensibilities to understand what a lot of this is about. What's the big deal? In the coming weeks, a pattern of renewal, rebirth, and various other reforms will begin to emerge. This is just setting the stage... Right before sun up on May 3, Venus and Mercury are right next to the sun. And at about noon, all seven of the "inner" planets are going to be in one very small slice of the sky, a 30 degree wedge known as the Tropical Zodiac sign of Taurus. Very powerful. Very good. Goes with the whole spring and rebirth and shake up of the status quo thing we've all been experiencing on one level or another.

The first play to be published bearing Shakespeare's name was Love's Labor's Lost, 1598.

Aries : I used to believe that a picture was worth a thousand words, but the way it worked out, I had to trade several hundred words just to get a roll of film back. Then, after I looked at the negatives, I discovered that I wasn't really caught in a compromising situation. With the dog pile of planets in Taurus, that's your solar second house, it means there is something that's going to happen. And it's a lot of very stubborn energy. While Aries is frequently accused of being stubborn, I much prefer the term headstrong. You get an idea and never let go. There is some shaking, rattling and rolling all going on in the world. And there is supposedly a lot of negative energy, too. This week, with the media spot light elsewhere, you really don't have that much to worry about. I would suggest that about the time Mars slides out of Taurus, and the planet shake up is over with, you're going to be like me, standing in the parking lot, scanning the photos, and realizing you were worried about nothing.

Taurus : This week is full of lots of energy. Some folks will tell you it is the end of the world. There are precious few of the Taurus folks who I know that will actually feel like it is the end of the world. But for 99% of you guys, well, just don't plan on getting a lot of sleep. You might have that dreamy, heavy lidded expression, that wonderful "let's just stretch out on the couch and watch some TV with our eyes closed" look, but resist the temptation. In fact, this is a week, in which you need to resist a lot of temptation. While you've heard so much about the unfortunate but unavoidable Saturn Effect, we also need to address the fact that Mr. Jupiter, that lucky star, is also in here. In fact, those two planets, more than the others, set the tone. You've got some over due "stuff" coming, and you need to make sure you're awake when the package delivery guy gets here. Nothing is worse than waking up, finding that little yellow slip, and a note saying that your package was left with a neighbor, and then, having the neighbor not be there, either.

Gemini : All this Taurus stuff is lined up in your solar 12th house. Bad news. Most Gemini's I know (you too), don't deal well with secrets. But the big lineup doesn't last THAT long, and then there's a subtle kicker to this whole mess. Mars enters Gemini this week. Mars gratefully exits Taurus, and that's going to add some kick to you. It's like opening gate at a drag race, and what better event to describe you? The trick with handling this energy is to pay very close attention to the staging lights. Red, yellow, green. In that order. Don't "drop the hammer" or "put the pedal to the metal" or "give it the gas" until the light is green. The problem that your facing is that there's all this Taurus energy suggesting you hurry up. You're going to do fine with the spring to the finish line, and you could even wind up as a winner, but you've got to wait until the light goes green. I'm counting on Mars to provide you with that impetus. Not until, either. A false start this week, especially early this week, yields nothing.

Cancer : A long time ago, I was addressing a problem that was occurring in the trailer park where I live. Trailer Pad Number One is precariously close to the river's bank. It's a tricky proposition, at best. The big line up is going to affect you in a myriad of ways, and the trick this week is timing. But that's always the trick. The planet's are going to play a cruel little game of tag with your heart this week. Maybe even it's your heart AND soul. In any event, you've got some unlikely stuff shaking loose. And it's just like Pad Numero Uno here at the Trailer Park, sitting there, right by the bank of the river. The timing thing is critical this week, it's like the water from the river seems to be rising. It's like the tide is coming in and there's a wall of water headed this way. And it feels like the good Trailer Cancer is going to soon be the good Houseboat Cancer. Plug any apparent holes this week, and hopefully you can drift away in serene bliss.

Leo : Focus is very important right now. There are several influences right now, and the temptation is lose sight of what's up and what's really going on. Astrologically, all those planets in Taurus create a tension filled angle for you. And to exacerbate this configuration, there's the lingering effect of the stuff floating in Aquarius. Now, if you know any thing at all about Astrology, this is called a T-Cross because your poor sign fills out the final leg in this structure. Hence, a tight focus is important right now. For a while, you've been trying o use the long range lens on the camera of life. For a while, you've been trying to get the big, wide angle exposure. Narrow this down, swap lens on your camera body, the thing you view life with. The inherent problem with such a tight focal point, though, is the inability to see what is most important. I'm sure you can discern the most important object in wide angle lens and then switch down to a tight focus close up -- and when it's down, this week will turn out picture perfect.

Virgo : New Moon means a new beginning, and all that stuff in Taurus means an even better time for Virgo. I wouldn't hesitate to suggest that the new millennium is going to be a better time for you, a more perfect world, and finally a degree of peace and ease. That much I like. You should like it, too. The problem comes as the week draws to a close and as Mars slides from a complimentary position into a place where he's going to cause you some minor irritations. So there's much good stuff going on, but there's also some difficulty getting some of this good stuff "actualized." Look: you've got the right bait (Jupiter), the right boat (Mercury), the right fishing buddy (Venus), the right spot on the lake (Saturn), the right guide (Sagittarius), the right stuff all the way around, now all you have to do is worry about a little weather problem (Mars). Of course, the Martian weather doesn't kick in until the latter part of the week, so you've got a few good days, you know. Don't let minor setbacks interrupt your perfect world right now.

Libra : I get some pretty incredible offers with my mail. Every day, or so it seems, some company has cut down a lot of trees to make some junk mail for me. I've won something, or the resident has one something, which is rather amusing, considering that the only resident at the office is a stray Tom cat. The rest of us just work there. However, before you throw out the junk mail, I would suggest that you sift through it a little. There's an offer in there which bodes well for you. I'm not sure which offer it is, and I look rather suspiciously at offers of easy money. But you've got something crossing your desk top at work, real or virtual desktop, and this offer is something that you can make good on. The only problem is that you're going to spend a lot of the week separating the good stuff from the bad stuff. It's like the IN Box with huge pile of nothing in it. One piece of paper, one note, a single document contains riches this week. let me know if you hit the right one.

Scorpio : I like the solitude of the lake in the early morning. A thin mist drifts up from the calm waters on mornings in the spring time. A serene calm pervades the air. Electric trolling motors add an eerie droning to the background. So much for calm. As long as there's a this pile up in Taurus, it's opposite you. And it means that this is a turning point. It's really an important time in your life, for real. It really is a turning point of sorts. As long as Mars is still in Taurus, that would be until the middle of the week, you've got someone or something disturbing this idyllic scene. Of course, as the weekend approaches, a moment of quiet reflection might help. I still suggesting getting up and hitting the lake, searching for that predawn quiet. I'd also take some oars with you, because the way the week looks, with the fecund festering in Taurus, your trolling motor decide to add to the calm by quitting on you. Take it in stride because there's something to be gained out of all this.

Sagittarius : This whole big stinking deal in Taurus is causing you to stop, pause and align your thinking process. "There's nothing wrong with my thinking process," you mutter to yourself, or to me, in an E-mail. No, there's nothing wrong with it, but there's an obvious visual clue you've been missing. It's right there, right under your Sagittarius probiscus. You've been missing something that is so obvious that you just skipped it all together. A number of your compatriots are wondering how you could have missed such an obvious sign. Now, this is due to the monster planetary disruption in Taurus, but you get an inkling, as the week begins to draw to a close, about how obvious this was. I kept looking for a special lure one afternoon, going through the big bass tackle box, the trout fly box, and then the worm box, too, wondering how this lucky item could have been misplaced. It was right on the end of the last fishing pole I had used. See what I mean?

Capricorn : Racing motorcycles is a good way to illustrate this week. My first race, I had an underdog machine, one that was hopelessly outclassed, hopelessly underpowered, and something which should have been a contender for the last place on the track. There's were machines in a smaller category which really went faster. But that fateful race was on a Texas track in the middle of the late summer, and what we didn't have in equipment, we made up for in pluck and courage. It was the smallest trophy I've ever gotten, and perhaps the most valuable, too, because it served as an inspiration to prove that occasionally, the luck of the gods will be with us all. You're feeling that way this week. The odds look like they are stacked against you. Pluck, determination and a certain amount of consistent effort will yield some big results this week. What you might not have in actual skill will pay off if you you doggedly pursue your goal. The planets in Taurus are helping with this, in a big way, and this does nothing BUT fortify the position of odd luck -- in a good way.

Aquarius : I came up with a metaphor, maybe five or six years ago, and I really liked it. I suggested that Aquarius purchase themselves a travel trailer and plan on spending the next few years living in that. Change is inevitable, and there's a certain transient quality to everything that speaks of permanence right now. That's why I liked that travel trailer idea. But like my metaphors which become self referential, once committed to ink, they never go away, this idea is back. I wish I had known that I was going to be needing that allusion for the next few years. And like that allusion, you're going to want to be careful about what you do this week. It could stick around for years and years. There are some changes occurring, domestic changes, but don't be too hasty about what you're switching. Just think about hooking the trailer up to the truck... and remember, you need to leave it so you can come back to this same parking spot again.

Pisces : Ever see a professional waitress stack three plates on either arm, and some how manage to serve them all without spilling so much as a drop of gravy? You start this week with a voracious appetite. I'm not talking about a prurient desire, either, I'm talking about the free buffet table some place, a delightful spread that offers so many different kinds of food that you just don't know where to start. By the time you read this, you might already have made one quick pass at the line, and you might have stacked those plates just like the good waitresses I know. The trick is this, work on how you communicate what it is that you desire rather than just loading it all up yourself. There are some troubled fixed signs right now, or folks who are troubled with the planets big alignment, and they need help this week. So it's all dependent on how you balance the plates. It's not like you have too much on your own plate, it's that trick with the balancing act -- like those plates.

"I tell you, my lord fool, out of this nettle, danger, we pluck this flower safety."
Shakespeare's King Henry IV, Part Uno [Act I, scene iii]

Right before sunrise, over yonder on the eastern horizon, there are two bright dots this week, in the early dawns glow, as the sky reddens and then turns orange with the early light, you can see Venus and Mercury. And right after sunset, in the bloody aftermath of the day's light, there is Jupiter, Saturn and Mars. By the end of this week, all of these planets will be in the tropical sign of Taurus. Some folks predict it's the end of the world. I tend to consider it the time to get working on a Taurus or two, myself.

For a trivial pursuit questions, and a chance at winning a free [abbreviated] astrological chart interpretation, send me the name of the first play which bears Shakespares name, when it it was originally published. What wsa the first published play by Shakespeare? Hint: it might not be the first one produced.

Aries : For the next two weeks, your main focus, as long as there is this stuff all crammed into one little corner, the thing that will grab and hold your attention just like a sick and twisted horror movie, is going to be stuff around the house. In the trailer where I live, this is an easy solution. I know the real problem isn't in my trailer itself, but it's my neighbor's place. They party too much, the television is always on, and they watch too much day time TV, too many talk shows, and too much sports. Notice how the problem always seem to be with "them" and the the people over there, nothing wrong in my own trailer? The trick this week, and for the next couple of weeks, is to figure out what you can do to improve your own situation. I'm thinking here, I'm thinking, you know, time to get that truck over here, and do a little house moving. Easiest way to get rid of the neighbors -- just move. Of course, then I might have to look at my own lifestyle, and I figure you understand how that's a problem.

Taurus : Big deals? There really are none. You are the central focus point, the main man, the center piece of an astrological mandalay. It's like the big decoration that you stick on the table at Easter time. We used to use a chocolate bunny in our house until we caught Sister constantly nibbling the ears. We couldn't figure out where everything was disappearing to until we found her down there at the table, late one night, chocolate smeared across her face. And it's not a crime, but this is a week when you're going to feel like you're the center of attention. Are you going to be the bunny or Sister? Stoically surviving all the whims of the Universe with the planets stacked up against you (in your sign) or are you going to attempt to surreptitiously nibble at what the fates provide?

Gemini : By the end of the week, there's the big deal in your place of no big deals. It's all those planets slowly moving into Taurus. With the strictest of moral codes, and a little hardcore astrology thrown in for good measure, this is a major set of players in one of your least favorite places. Normally, I don't find that Mercury is a big trigger for most signs. But there's nothing normal about times like this. Your world is getting rocked, and there's a volcanic eruption going on that's going to change your life for ever. It's not really an outside influence, either, although, I'm going to watch as Mercury triggers every one of these planets for the next few weeks. Geologic time where thousands of years are a mere blink of an eye is the pace that the world seems to move at, however, you're going to get one chain of reactions started to this big deal in Taurus, and then it's all going to come cascading down like a hot flow of Gemini Lava. next couple of weeks look to be interesting as new is replaced by old, and it's Gemini Lava which comes bursting forth onto the surface.

Cancer : One of the events that's relatively minor compared with the pile up in Taurus is the movement of the Moon. But this is important because this week, that old Moon is setting a stage for you. It's clearing away some of the events of the past, and it's getting you ready for something new to be born. While this might sound slightly apocryphal in some terms, it's not the end of your world. In fact, it's going to rattle your foundations a little, and then it's going to spin you off in totally new direction. New doorways will open, new vistas are there to behold, and the Moon gets this show on the road. But before you get rolling, there is still one or two little items which need to be dealt with. There's still a part of your life that is not completely ready for the new millennium, and you've got to get that straightened out this week. Get after it.

Leo : With all the energy concentrated in a fixed sign, that is supposed to be good for the mightiest of the fixed (Leo, of course!) There's a problem, though, with this concentration -- it's in Taurus, not in Leo, yet, and that won't be happening for a while. So you've got several more cycles to go before it gets to you. What it is going to do is throw stuff up in your face that needs to be dealt with. This week. From good to bad, to things you've done and never been caught for (I, for one, am grateful for a statue of limitations). But it's that same statue that you're going to feel like you're running into this week as you get confronted with the inevitable, fixed, large and immovable object. In order to get around this problem, and there is an easy solution, it just requires that you be more adaptable. You're going to find that this big alignment in the heavens gives you a golden opportunity to approach old problems from a new position. I'll warn you though, if you ain't willing to change your tactics, you might find yourself just sitting there looking at the statue.

Virgo : All except for one Virgo that I know, all except for her, it just seems like a decent Virgo can take any good situation and find the problems therein. Everything is coming up roses, and most Virgo's will gladly point out that those roses have nasty thorns on them, and that the flower bed is full of awful critters like night crawlers. And so forth. This week, as everything visible begins its slow march into Taurus, I'll tell you to enjoy the good stuff. There are plenty of things going on, but this is realigning a thought process, and part of what a decent Virgo will begin in this week is a chance to think about the good, and not the ill. Look at the variegated colors of the rose petals, pluck some for a delightful potpourri, pocket your troubles, and realize that you are beginning to see things in a new light.

Libra : By the end of the week, the last of the planets will move out of Aries, and your testing period is over. Time to quite reflecting on past indiscretions, time to move forward "post haste." Time to get up and go some. You've got an itch this week, and that itch can only be scratched by getting out of your trailer house, getting yourself up in the front seat of a truck, and going. The planets are lending you an incredible amount of energy right now, and this is energy which you simply must put to good use. It's there, enjoy the evening display of lights, and now, get on down the road of life. No looking back. Okay, you can check the rearview mirror on some occasions, but just glance back, because now is the time for you to be moving forward. One of you backers is coming along, and that backing is going to help out quite a bit. It's like having a banker give you a nearly unlimited line of credit. Don't forget, though, you will have to pay that money back sooner or later.

Scorpio : I hope you're watching the night sky. Or the dawn's early light, but it will be the night sky which should captivate your Scorpio attention, both now and in the near future. Very near future. It's a time when you are assessing goals, directions, and doing something most people do in the winter months (northern hemisphere only): harvest. Along with this year's harvest, you are also getting firm a grip on what does, and for that matter, what doesn't work. There are some surprises in store for you, and since you are a loyal reader, the briefest of explanations is in order. What you think is important may not be. What is really important will become apparent. What you considered safe, may not be. What you considered outlandish, might actually be the most conservative. Get the idea? It just isn't all that it appears to be, and the appearance of something might do its best to trick you. The changes are for the better, but you might feel like you didn't instigate them, and that can upset a dear Scorpio.

Sagittarius : "Rock my world, baby, rock my world." You are going to catch the tail end of a chain reaction this week. It's the planets, and there's a set up in the heavens that winds up pointing at you. In the real world, this is like the time Bubba's girlfriend told me something, and then, over coffee one morning, I let it slip to Bubba what she said. Some how, I was caught in a terrible cross fire between two lovers. In case you're wondering, brotherhood is thicker than sisterhood, but I still felt like I was the butt of the joke. So as long as there is all this shaking and grooving going on in the sky, you'd better get ready to catch the tail end of all the stuff that's happening. You do feel a little like I did that one time, caught between two people that you just knew would be better if they talked amongst themselves. But at the tail end of the chain, you are a catalyst this week. Play your cards right, and you can help those two get back together and discuss events amongst themselves.

Capricorn : I've been wrestling with your chart for several weeks. And I can't print what I really want to say about what I see. While everyone else is struggling, you've got all this good stuff happening. I've been observing astrological events long enough to know that this is a welcome reprieve. It's not like you ain't been slammed around some in the mosh pit of life, and you probably are still a little sore about the broken nose thing. But as this great movement into Taurus proceeds, you find things just keep happening, things keep happening in a good way. I've met a Cap or two who insist on keeping their eyes on the ground at all times. This is a week when first you find a penny, then a you find a dollar bill, then you a find a twenty. Then, as you bounce along, money always puts a little spring in your step, you find a discarded lottery ticket. and it's worth a hundred bucks. Other people's misfortune -- or lack of attention -- benefits you. Weeks like this, I wish I was more Capricorn, myself.

Aquarius : There's an inherent quality about Aquarius that I find delightful. It's a degree of stability just not found in other air signs. And this is a foundation for Aquarius. The problem with this foundation is that you feel like it's a lot like a lake house foundation. The lake house is built on the side of the hill, over looking the lake, and each year, that foundation requires a little bit of bracing, a little bit of work, a little something to help shore it up. Or it will be on the shore. Or even that lake house will be a house boat. You're feeling this -- especially this week. The foundation is either eroding, or just plain slipping, or maybe it's just in need of some repair. Something. Like that lake house, though, you might want to avoid all the trouble and let it just slide right on down to the water's edge. That's not such a bad idea, really.

Pisces : Last week was a cell phone analogy. This week? Maybe caller ID. Maybe some other form of telephony hardware. Or maybe we can examine the real root of the problem, the real question in this situation. At its core, the week deals with communication, and the way you communicate. That's why I was talking about cell phones. And that's why you were talking on a cell phone. This week, it's more of the same. Notice that I'm calling "more of the same" because the central theme is how you deal with communications. Of course, there is one Pisces who will write in and ask if it's getting any better. Yes, it is. By the end of the week, there will be a lot more clarity about your diction, thanks to Mercury. And for your next phone call, no, you won't be using string and a Dixie cup, as much as that's the way it looks right now.

"Love all, trust a few,
Do wrong to none, be able for thine enemy
Rather in power, than use."
Shakespeare's All's Well that Ends Well [Act I, scene i]

Right after sunset, perhaps it's one of those truly awe inspiring West Texas sunsets with the shades of rose and mauve in it, perhaps a dusting of burnt orange, too, just for old time's sake, there are three planets which are visible to the naked eye, that would be Mars, Saturn and Jupiter. They are getting together in Taurus. Tag Team Taurus Astrology, as it were. In keeping with the planets, where is the longest barrier island in the United States? Be specific, and a right answer might win you coveted "FGS Planet Profile" [abbreviated version] delivered via electronic mail.

Aries : Shortly before Sunrise, Venus and Mercury are the morning stars, as they are often called. Of course, in your wonderful little Aries brain, you're going to remind yourself that these are not stars at all, but light reflected from the the planets' surfaces, and these two planets are having a rather delightful affect on your life right now. More or less. I suspect, given the nature of the two, that this comes under the heading of more rather than less. The problem with the "more" effect is that you brain doesn't always want to connect to your heart, and neither one seems to be synchronized with your mouth. Reminds me of the time I had been pleading my undying love to a number of females, and the next phone call was Bubba. As I got off the line, I was busy trying to tell him that I loved him. Of course, this particular Bubba is an understanding individual, so he didn't care much about what I said. He was worried about bait that week. But you do seem to have that same drive that I had. Be careful about what you say, nothing is worse than being asked to back it up. Of course, just about any bait you select this week will catch what you want.

Taurus : Happy Birthday Month to all those nice Taurus people I know. Sure, it's going to be great. Wonderful. Of course, as you might have noticed, there are a couple of planets in your sign right now, and this planetary alignment is getting bigger and stronger with every day. This week, however, we're going to concentrate on Mars (again). He's a quite the hot little number, and it's like an exchange I had once when I asked a date what I should wear to the party. "That little pink chiffon number you've got should work just fine," was her reply. And there I was thinking it was just a time to suit up, you know, the nice shirt, the suit that smells like moth balls, that sort of thing. So as Mars heats you up this week, consider your own, pink chiffon number. Or maybe it's the silk dress that shows you off in all the right places, if you know what I mean. It's a week filled with weird energy, and looking good doesn't insure that you're going to be feeling good, but you can always fool a lot of us with appearances. And what we don't know about you right now -- it won't hurt us this week.

Gemini : The shift of the Sun's relative position, from Aries to Taurus, in the midst of the week, offers a chance to change a few things in your life. Personally, this is what I consider a great astrological time to pursue activities which don't require a lot of human interaction. It's not a good time to interface with with other folks. I realize that such a pronouncement can feel like a death blow to a good Gemini, but work with the idea of working alone right now. As Mars gets closer to your sign, you get a feeling that there is something which is building up, a pressure between your shoulder blades, a degree of angst which you can't seem to put your finger on right now. Don't panic, and get yourself out on the lake, in a boat, alone. Of course, no one will believe what kind of luck your having, but that's their problem, not yours.

Cancer : This is a week when there is a lot of focus away from your individual needs. In fact, there's a lot of attention given to how you fit in the grand scheme of things. You're boating friends wonder about your bass boat. In the strictest of fishing circles, water skiing is an unholy pursuit. The only thing worse than water skiing is the messy variety of "leisure crafts" which look a lot more like an off road motorcycle on the lake. Now, this week, you've got a problem with these off road motorcycles at the lake, and your fishing friends. I don't know if this is the time to make a true confession and admit that you've ridden on one of those, and I don't know if this is the time to attempt to explain that those leisure crafts are fun, if taken in moderation. I'm not sure your fishing friends will understand that sentiment at all. I do. You can tie a trolling line to one of those suckers and really have some sporting fun. But try explaining that? Better not, not this week.

Leo : I got off an airplane after a working weekend, took a deep breath of Austin Air, got back to the trailer, and saddled up to the home computer. There were roughly fourteen thousand e-mails waiting on me, about a foot and half of postcards, and the cat's bowl was empty. Of course I fed the cat first, we all have to have priorities in our life. The phone starts ringing, the beeper goes off, the answering machine is broken, and someone set the alarm clock to make an annoying noise at 6 in the evening. And it was only a Monday. You've got a whole week -- just like my fateful Monday. Deal with it. If you take each new challenge as a challenge, and deal with it as it comes along, you're going to find that you can really get a lot of work done in record time. I did. I even managed to sneak out for ice cream, a little later. I can't promise ice cream for you, but there is a chance of rest in here somewhere, and some hard earned rewards.

Virgo : This is the beginning of something good. This is the starting point. Now is the time. Well, maybe not right now, but it is a time when all the pieces are beginning to come together. Ever work on a jigsaw puzzle? Ever get one of those 5,000 piece suckers all scattered across the table, and you don't have a clue where to start? By the end of this week, you've built up all the borders, the corner pieces all fit in place, and there's a sense that you can actually get all of this worked out. Or a crossword puzzle? Same idea. Maybe it's even the New York Times crossword puzzle from last week's Sunday paper. There are just a few blanks left over by the end of the week, but you know, you're starting to see how all of this fits together. You'll be able to guess at the words, or find that missing piece "ere long." I promise.

Libra : All I can think about for Libra is a simple word that seems to echo from the deepest recesses of my brain. "Party." Of course, since this is my brain case, there does seem to be a bit of an echo in here, and it's that word, over and over. I know that you're not really the party animal, but you start this week out feeling so good, and if you're not feeling good, you supposed to be feeling good, and maybe a celebration of some kind will help you feel good. It does get into a little bit of cycle, and once you get on the wagon, the cycle begins to feel like you've turned the corner. It's a matter of attitude. The marketing guys used to assure us that "attitude is everything." Feel good this week. Even if you don't feel good, you should try to. I still think that the week has more good than ill.

Scorpio : There's a form of relief that comes from having structure in your life. There's a sense of well-being and comfort from the same routine every day. There's a sense of "all being right in the world" which is derived from the same, repetitive tasks. One Scorpio I know, always concludes an evening by setting up the coffee maker (Our Lady of Caffeine) so in the morning, all one has to do is stumble to the coffee maker and press the "on" button. Ignition. That wonderful aroma of the juices flowing, the confident burble of hot water dripping through the grinds, the promise of an eye opening experience is just a few minutes away. This week it's like you lose your cool when you discover that someone didn't set the coffee machine up the night before. Don't get too angry because your structure has been ruined this week. Just find some beans, grind them suckers up yourself, boil the water, find a filter. It is a lot of effort, but it does work out okay. You're just stuck with some extra steps in your normal, operating routine.

Sagittarius : There is a certain degree of satisfaction that comes from a job well-done. And there's a degree of satisfaction that comes from a steak that's just medium rare. But I would tend to look for the inner, self - congratulatory job well done for this inner calm all week. The problem with the well-done and medium rare aspects of this week is that the job well-done doesn't give you a chance to get to enjoy a steak medium rare. Personally, I prefer the steak to be more like Sushi, but I guess how you like your dead cow parts is a call you get to make yourself. But this week, despite the good influences, you're going to have to rely on your own judgment in order to receive the accolades for your efforts. In other words, you may be doing a job well, but you ain't making enough green stuff to take yourself out for a steak. Yet.

Capricorn : Capricorn's are a rare breed. And this rare breeding in your sign is important right about now because you guys are doing quite well with all the build up over the astrological and astronomical events of the heavens. In fact, this stuff helps you out. A lot. It's a good time, for you. There is a little bump in your road, early in the week, but this is nothing more than the dead carcass, a little road kill which needs to be overlooked. I had a friend who used to stop the truck at every dead critter in the road and collect feathers, hooves, and miscellaneous body parts because that person found the road kill was the easiest way to get the necessary pieces for whatever "witches brew" was getting cooked up. I humor folks like that. So whatever your bump in the middle of the road is, consider it a chance to collect something useful. Of course, the only thing I can think of with road kill is chili -- yes, it can make delicious chili -- don't be alarmed until you've tried it.

Aquarius : This is another lovely week where you should learn to think first and then act. Unfortunately for you, the vagaries of the planets' influences are more inclined to push you to extreme actions and then think about what you did. This is not a good scenario. I realize that "it's easier to beg forgiveness than ask for permission" but I still suggest that you think about whatever it is that you're about to do this week before you do it. Turn it over in your brain. Consider the options. Consider the ramifications of your actions. Consider the fall out if you should decide to drop a bomb. Just who will get hurt? Looks like some of the collateral damage might just be your fine Aquarius self, and that's not a way to handle this week. It might turn out to be a good week to go to the race track, but I'm not sure you want to be a jockey on that horse. Win, place or show? If you can, this is a good week to observe, not a good week to take action.

Pisces : I'm going to get a call this week, from a Pisces, and she's going to ask me why I didn't warn her about the week. The call will go something like this, "What am I going to do? I've got 1,000 minutes a month on this cell phone, and here it is, only two weeks into the month, and I'm almost out of time, they don't have any other plans (click, buzz)." My personal solution is a portable land line phone, one of those things which looks like a cell phone, and it can operate while I'm at the pool. It works in the boat, too, but I get a little out of range in some spots. But it is a lot cheaper than a cell phone. So consider it an option. This way you can look like the real thing, and it even works like the real thing. This is a time when you want to stay in touch, you want to be available, but you might want to consider just how you're going to stay in touch.

"Mend my company, take way thyself."
Shakespeare's Timon of Athens [IV.iii.285]

April 14th is St. Lidwyna's Day, the patron saint of skaters, which, in and of itself, is no big deal, but I don't think of ice in Texas, I get an image of the patron saint of people on skateboards.

Want a cool shot at getting in the running for a free [abbreviated] astrological chart report, a planet profile, custom crafted in the Austin Zamboni shed? Send us a complete listing of all the teams in the league which the Austin Ice Bats are in. Ice Hockey in Texas, it fairly boggles the mind. And wait'll you see the names of those other teams.

Aries : As a compatible fire sign, I understand that you have a degree of passion, sometimes unmatched by any other sign in the zodiac. I understand that you've got this dual set of desires this week. Part of you wants to get out of the house, part of you wants to stay home. I have a solution right now, and it's a simple image. One of the trailer parks I stay in has a dilapidated old dock, it's a pretty rickety structure, but it's good enough for a little bit of cane fishing. So I can be at home, and I can still be at work, drowning worms. With the relative astrological action you're seeing right now, you want to be home, and you need to be at work. Go to your little dock, it's almost as good as sitting in your living room and fishing at the same time. You're also going to be pleasantly surprised about what sort of stuff pops up. The central theme is one of success.

Taurus : Mars gets to make a pass at Saturn this week, and that's going to bring all those Saturn questions tumbling out. And just as soon as Mars starts begging questions out of Saturn, you're also going to have a growing sense of unease. It's the Sun who is in the final stage of Aries. It's hinting, hoping, and laying some groundwork for something good to come. The problem with "something good to come" means that it ain't here yet. And there's a still a degree of unresolved problems right now. The big question, the big dilemma, the question that fisherman face on a regular basis is whether to use live or artificial bait. Which one is going to work for you this week? With Saturn and Mars spoiling things the way they usually do, I would stick to the plastic variety right about now. There's some logic in here, because you're going to need something that will keep for a little longer. If you buy a bucket of worms, then there's a chance that some of those little night crawlers would dry out (it's Mars, really) before the end of the week (or maybe Saturn).

Gemini : Dream big. Don't be afraid to have fantasies about total world domination under you present influences. In fact, you might just start plotting on how to take over the world right now. Imagine your self as the President For Life, Supreme Commander and leader of all the free world. I realize that there is a contradiction in here, but let's toss a little logic out the window, or better yet, let's use Gemini Logic right now. Build this idea up in you mind. It's like building an empire. Consider what your fist step should be, take over some big corporation so you can more effectively launch your great enterprises and thus achieve your goals. Now let's go back to being a Gemini. "It shore does look like a lot of work," you think (I'm quoting a local Gemini buddy). Instead of trying to smash you dreams right now, I would hope that you realize some of this is well within your grasp, it's just a matter of actually grasping for it this week. Don't be afraid to plot your first couple of steps. I know you can do it.

Cancer : Turn on the charm at work. I know you've got it. With the relatively minor influence of Mercury making a small -- but important -- transition, you're going to find that your charm and wit excels this week. You can keep us all entertained with your ability to recount tales, your ability to remember jokes which it seems like no one has ever heard, and the constant barrage of subtle innuendo. It's like the charm which left a few weeks ago is all back, and it's time for you to step in the spot light as entertainer of the week. In Shakespeare's canon of work, the Fool provides comic relief, and, to certain extent, he also provides valuable lesson. He always seems to speak the truth. The Fool does it in a humorous fashion, and he's entertaining. That's your role this week, play the fool. But remember, you're playing a carefully crafted part, not just some buffoon. Deliver that message with grace, charm, a degree of wit and humor.

Leo : There are good weeks, then there are weeks that you wish you could just drag out a big eraser and make that whole week go away like it didn't exist. Sorry I can't provide you with the eraser. Would that I could. But be a little forewarned this week, there's going to be one event which is going to seem a little unsettling. Okay, it might seem a lot unsettling. And this one event could ruin your whole week or it could provide you with a situation to laugh at. It's like being in a fishing boat, and you get up to get something out of your tackle box, and as your reaching for the top drawer, you knock the box over. Bad situation, all that stuff scattered all over the bottom of the boat. Cuss a little. Then start putting the gear back in the box. While your doing that, you uncover a special lure you haven't seen in years. Give it a spin this week. The unlucky events seem to reveal something that's useful.

Virgo : Goods things are kicking around for you. A lot of the signs have their collective dander up. A lot of the signs are increasingly uncomfortable. And to make this situation for them worse, you're feeling better and better. There's a certain calm which is going to be pervading your senses right now. It's like the lake here, on one of those early spring mornings when it was foggy in the morning, then a little drizzle, then it begins to all burn off, looking better and better all the time. Grab your gear and go fishing. Or grab your whatever and go chase after that idea. I prefer pursuing fish because I get a real sense of accomplishment, and those Bass have a sporting fight in them. You'll find that this is a week that you're up to just about any challenge. Go for it. [Visualize 5 lbs. Bass]

Libra : The big news isn't much a problem for you, but there is a common theme that I'm getting a lot of e-mail these days, all from the Libra Camp. It has to do with redefining goals, strategies, and how to more effectively manage what's already there. I would never, ever accuse Libra's of being pecuniary. In fact, you guys are usually the opposite, exquisite tastes within a moderate budget. (motto: Champagne flavor with beer budget) This week is a challenge just like that, how to dress to impress when you can only really afford to make a trip back to your closet. If you're smart about it, though, there's a way to mix and match some of the things that you've got, and there's a chance to pull it all together. I know you can swing this week, it's matter of working with what you've already got.

Scorpio : It's a good thing that you're such a durable sign. You're going to feel like your durability is being tested this week. It's not all bad, because every Scorpio I know will survive the test with a degree of finesse and aplomb. It's the question of surviving right now that's going to have you in a little bit of a tailspin. "What do you mean, 'surviving'? That's not what I wanted to hear!" Go easy on me, and I'll promise that there is some relief in this mess. Mars and Saturn heat up a problem that you've been avoiding, and that problem has to come out of the Scorpio oven. Looks like this week is about as good a time as any. As much as you want this problem to just go away, it won't. So you're going to be coerced into dealing with it. If you're a little more adaptable than usual, if you're a little more willing to switch your priorities right now, and if you're able to deal with the odd flashback that you experience, then this will work out. Be prepared for the unexpected, though. It's going to be a weird week.

Sagittarius : One too many of fine, most excellent, Sagittarius friends has been on the landline to me, griping about all the little problems that are going on. "And then she said this..." or "you'll never guess what he said next...." This isn't a week to sit there, dial up your friends, and give them a litany of complaints. This is a week to grab the problem, face it square in the face, and then go some place else. Hey, you have to admit, you sort of confronted the difficult stuff. In some circles, there's the old adage, "admitting you have a problem is the first step in getting over it." So admit there's a problem, and deal with it later. Make a mental note that it can be dealt with later. The minor flavor of the week is good, so try to enjoy that, instead.

Capricorn : You know, if I suggest one more pause for the Capricorn I know, she's going to grab me around the throat, apply pressure, and scream, "Pause THIS!" Still, there's a moment or two of quiet reflection which would benefit you guys during this week. I'm not about to suggest that you put your whole week on hold while you quietly contemplate your navel. If you're fishing , you might want to contemplate your naval, but that's just a bad joke. But like me in this scenario, and I'm sure there are a few Capricorn who would like to apply the pressure, you're going to find yourself hurrying long, perhaps too much, and at one point, you're going to be gasping for breath. That's an indication from your body that it's time to slow down, hit the "pause" button on the video of life, and take a little break. Just consider it a chance to catch your breath, if nothing else.

Aquarius : "Talk to me, baby," is your catch phrase for this week. "Talk to me, honey," though, might be a slightly more common version of this expression, at least, around here it would be more prevalent. The image that should go with this is a guy sitting at his desk, and he's leaning way back in his chair, got his feet up on the desk, and he's the consummate deal maker, and he's in rare form, wheeling and dealing, flipping deals, and selling pasts, presents, and most important, futures. The question I have for you this week, is which end of the phone are you on? The good end? Are you the deal maker this week? Or are you on the other end of the line, feeling like you're getting hooked some how, wonder when the hook is going to be set, and wondering if you're going to have to struggle for a long time, or if this is going to be a short one. You have the ability to be the one in control right now. The planets are oddly in your favor, what with Venus and Mercury in Aries, by the end of the week.

Pisces : There's a reason why I've been dealing with the concept of the psychic Pisces side, and the idea that you guys are communicating a lot right now. It's a growing sense of what this whole coming few years is really all about. It has a lot to do with how you communicate what you know, and that's a point I've been gently chiding you about for the last few weeks. It's the emphasis of the big "thing" that's coming down the pike. Or maybe it is a pike that's coming. Of course, I'm not referring to what was used by infantry in early Medieval warfare, no, I'm referring to a Pike the Fish. Voracious feeder, and that's part of what's going on with your psyche, at times like these, you get to feeling like your mind is giant vacuum and you're beginning to suck up all the available data. You do get some breathing space, as this week goes by, you do get a chance to feel a little more rested, and you do get a chance to collate some of this data which has been surging down the pike at you.

"What fates impose, that men must needs abide:
It boots not to resist both wind and tide."
King Edward in Shakespeare's Henry VI, part three-0 [IV.iii.58-9]

Trivia time: What year did the citizens of El Paso vote to leave New Mexico and join Texas? Correct answers, good guesses, and open forms of graft are accepted to help pick a winner for the trivia question, the prize being an abbreviated "Planet Profile" custom crafted from the winner's birth data and delivered via e-mail, from right here in our mobile astrology workshop and road show, in a covered wagon out West.

Aries : Venus is a morning star right now. But with a lot of the astrological spotlight looking elsewhere, you're going to feel a little out of the picture because you don't seem to be drawing as much attention as you're used to. But even though Venus is doing a "mourning" star thing, she does come gliding into your sign this week. So even though you're not the absolute center of attention this week, you feel pretty good about yourself. In fact, if you really did have that big party last week, like I suggested, then this week you've got a problem on your hands. You should be cleaning up around the trailer. Parties like that, around here, they spill out into the yard, the trailer park, other trailers, and pretty soon, everybody is having a good time. So this is a week to take it easy. That mess which you should be cleaning up? I would wait on it.

Taurus : If there's a lucky day, it will be this Monday. However, and despite my Sagittarius leanings, I still don't believe in that luck thing too much. But it does look good for you this week. With Saturn in your sign, as well as this lucky Monday thing going on, I'm not sure it's going to hit you quite the way some people would expect it to. I can't promise a big jackpot in the bingo hall or Texas State Lottery. I can't promise a win like that. I can't even promise a measly three bucks which is about all I've ever gotten. But I can suggest that there is a payoff in here, some place. I'm not sure what it is. If you're a real fishing person, then Monday and Tuesday are days to be at the lake. You get about half way to where you want to be, and then you run out of gas. Drop a line in the water, right there. You're right on top of a secret hoard of fish. You just never knew it. Fate works like that -- ask old King Edward.

Gemini : Shall we just pretend? Let us go, then you and I, and pretend that the world is a great place. Some of the Gemini I know are very early risers. Up before the sun comes up sort of people. Unless it involves large amounts of cash, I rarely stir much before noon. But if you are the early rising type, then take this bait and look at the Eastern Horizon and note bright speck of light which doesn't twinkle. That's good old Venus, and this week, with her relative pace, she starts to bring you some luck. So I'm beginning to wonder if you aren't doing the early to bed, early to rise thing a little too much right now? There's a lot of night life, and you really should be enjoying the sunrise from the other side of the candle, to mix and match allusions. In fact, the way this week looks, you might just try burning that candle at both ends. I would go ahead and go for it, if I were you. As long as you have the drive, you'll be amazed at what you can accomplish. Before the end of the week, you're going to be petitioning for a few more hours in every day.

Cancer : There are many different types of love. Love of the game, love of the hunt, love of the chase, or in my case, love of the chaste. Then there's brotherly love, sisterly love, love of a child, "love your Mother," heavenly love, carnal knowledge, and lust. One, or more, of these feelings will fill your week. It will pervade your every sense. You're going to fill up with a great feeling of true love, perhaps in its purest form. Or you're going to feel one of its derivations. The whole range of possibilities is limitless. The problem this is going to cause it seems like you're slacking at work. It seems like you've got your attention someplace that it's not getting paid to be. Very few people can traffic in love and make a go of it, as a profession. And I'm not suggesting the unseemly side of that, either. It's just that your attention is elsewhere this week. Now, this isn't bad, but you really should get back to work. Hey, who loves you?

Leo : I was listening to some blues, just the other day, and I thought about you. The plaintive wail of the guitar, the slow and melodic back beat, the gentle bass thumping its way along. The gentle rhythm was reassuring, and it made me think about a Leo that I know. I've seen the chart a few times. I could probably recite the details if I put my mind to it. But that blues number kept popping back into my head, and I kept thinking about how the blues are really uplifting. There's something reassuring and almost cathartic about listening to some old delta blues legend, some person from just over the Louisiana border, howling the tune about how "she left me." You're not howling this week, but some sort of cathartic exercise will be very good for you. Something to expunge the feeling of the blues right now. Maybe the blues will make you feel better.

Virgo : There's just the slightest degree of rest, ease and grace that falls your way this week. There's just the slightest degree of peace and contentment that augers its way into your very soul. "That's all fine and good," you say, "but what's the downside, oh great fishing 'I hate Virgo' dude? I know you have a hook in here someplace." One of my local friends once suggested that fishing wasn't really an old man's sport. "It's more like lip piercing for fish," he said. Now that you're hooked, let me explain, the planets are moving in a way that is very good to you. Period. The unfortunate side of this is that Mercury is still doing a slow dance in Pisces, and that slow dance makes you want to chatter. Slow the motor mouth down. Imagine you just got your tongue pierced. It's not a common trick among Virgo's. Scorpio's and Gemini's tend to get their tongues pierced. So just imagine it, and consider it a time to slow down the mouth, even though you are feeling really good.

Libra : "Changes, they is a-comin'." Change isn't too much of a challenge to a decent Libra, and you're well aware that there are some changes which are brewing up in a heavenly iron skillet right now. The grease is going, "snap, crackle and pop." When the grease pops like that, you know that it's getting to the right temperature. And nothing is better than a some fresh fish out over the camp fire. Reminds me of being in the Rocky Mountains, enjoying trout. The fish had been out of the water for less than hour before we rolled them in a little cracker dust, and dropped them into that frying pan with some hot oil. Mighty good stuff. You're beginning to get a little hungry, just thinking about it. The problem with this week is that you are supposed to be paying attention to getting the fish out of the water, via a fishing line, and if it's trout, a fly seems to work best. Don't be thinking about that skillet and the grease and the fresh fish getting fried up until you've actually landed the catch. Got it?

Scorpio : This is another week in the build up of astrological suspense that is starting to really stir in your sign. There was a minute shift, and you're starting to question my veracity, but the juice is there. The problem with this suspense build up is that no Scorpio [that I can think of] likes being in the dark. Let me give you a little hint here: we're all in the dark, and we're all feeling our way along. So this suspense that is killing you is also really getting on our nerves, too. This whole "in the dark" thing is getting worse, too, as the week goes by because Mars is still high tailing it through Taurus, on the opposite side of the zodiac. It's a lot like watching a pick up truck go blazing down the farm roads around here, on a dusty spring morning -- that truck and Mars are both raising great clouds of dust. Rather than let this dust get in your way, though, you can relax, slow down, and don't let it choke you.

Sagittarius : There's a very real and palpable energy that you can sense, it's like grabbing the wrong end of a branding iron. It's like grabbing the business end of a cattle prod. It's like grabbing the business end of a bull. And you're tempted, this week, to go ahead and reach for that forbidden object. "Don't touch that dial!" as the announcer would say on the radio program. Mars makes a strange angle to Pluto, and Jupiter in Taurus isn't helping with this mess, either. So whatever forbidden action you want to take, I would heartily endorse not doing it. Not this week. Look, it's like getting served a decent plate of Mexican food in a TexMex restaurant. The severing person shows up with a hot plate of food, the cheese is still bubbling it's so hot, and she's handling the plate with a set of industrial strength oven mitts. "Careful, plate is hot," she says. It is. You don't have to touch it to find out.

Capricorn : There are many good things happening in Capricorn land. There is one minor and rather annoying problem, too, and the astrological influence of this problem is easy to trace back to Aries with Venus crossing into the sign of the Ram, and the Sun already there. These are actually relatively minor influences in your day to day existence, but on a bigger scale, you're going to be looking for a planet to blame, and that pair will do just fine. The over-ruling influences are beneficial and good, but being a perspicacious Capricorn, you're doubting that a little. Trust me on this one, the little annoying stuff is relatively minor, and it will smooth over in a day or two. The bigger stuff, the larger picture, keeps looking better and better, and you need to concentrate on the good that's in here.

Aquarius : If you didn't take a quick trip to Las Vegas last week, and if you didn't get an Elvis Impersonator to marry you, then you're doing well. And as long as we're working with trips to far flung locations, especially if it involves gambling, might I recommend that the idea of trip sounds good. A trip that goes to safe place, though, is more in order. A vacation plan, even if it's only a weekend getaway, is the good idea. Now, you're wondering about some of the important details about this kind of an idea. I'm getting to that. I once read a book that suggested a "home spa weekend" worked well. It's where you can't afford to go any place fancy, so you treat yourself to a beauty treatment at home. Or maybe it's just a day or two lounging in front of the tube with the remote in hand. I never did the details exactly straight. But it works out pretty well, one way or another. After the week you feel like you're having any kind of a getaway is good.

Pisces : Have we been working on Psychic Pisces Psi Communication skill sets? Have you been intensely staring at your cat, trying to communicate with the critter telepathically? And have you gotten it to work yet? Of course not, but it's a great idea. The last of the final stage of the planets in Pisces are occurring now, and you've still got a little tendency to run off at the mouth at this point. That's why I was suggesting the mental form of communication. You've been feeling a bit piqued lately, and this week offers some degree of change. It's going to offer some new avenues which really look like they are worth pursuing. The problem with new openings is trying to tell which leads are really good and which leads are really bogus. I've found that a quick mental conference with my cat usual turns up the information that I was searching for. She may be wrong from time to time, but she's generally a more applicable oracle than anything else. Try it this week.

"I meant what I said
And I said what I meant....
An elephants faithful
One hundred per cent!"

from Dr. Suess's "Horton Hatches the Egg"

Setting the stage for the big Taurus conflagration of this year....

"The reason you have a bad experience is to teach you not to do it again."
--Willie Nelson

Aries : There's a really simple solution to the big astrology news that's breaking out elsewhere -- you need to throw a party. I know, it sounds like a lame excuse to invite me over for some free food, but it was a good idea. If you expand on the central theme of throwing a giant party, something like a college keg party with some participants getting pickled and picked up by the local law enforcement agencies (hey, if you didn't go to jail, how could you know you had any fun?), if you take this idea and work it around a little bit, maybe tone down a few key elements, I think you're beginning to get the picture, you get to take an afternoon off and watch the day time shows with a few friends while you quietly sip cool beverages. Now, that image is a pretty fur distance from the original image of a giant blow out, but you're beginning to get the idea.

Taurus : You've gotten used to first Saturn and then Jupiter agitating your sign. Then, last week, Mars slipped in. Get used to his agitation, too. This is the beginning of the big Taurus build up that's getting all the build up right now. Mars is an energizing force in the heavens, look back at what he did not long ago when he was here. That would be April 13 to May 23, 1998. Been a few years, so it is a slightly unusual energy for you. But it's not without some merit. There's a special "power" he's going to lend you, especially towards the end of this week as he gets a lot closer to Jupiter. It's going to mean a lot of stuff is going to be happening. And that "power" thing I alluded to earlier? This week it looks like "power bait" which actually a brand name that I seldom use. Some folks swear by it, some folks swear at it. "Works great," say some. "Doesn't work at all," say others. Toss out what doesn't work this week.

Gemini : There's the beginning of a pile up in Taurus. It's like a slowly building momentum. Of course, as soon as I suggest that it's slow build, you're going to race through with a good Gemini speed and wonder what's at the end of the chain. You're wonder what all this is building up to. To begin with, there was Saturn, then Jupiter. Now we're going to add Mars to this little witches brew of stuff. Mars is kicking around in Taurus, and that's going to make you slightly impulsive right now. Or slightly more impulsive than your usual Gemini self. All I'm trying to suggest this week is that you hold it for just a second. Look before you leap. This is a slowly building sense about what is happening, and this is just the beginning of it all. It's a slow, stately, and elegant dance step. Alas, I fear it might prove to test your Gemini patience, but you're just going to have to adjust to our slower speed.

Cancer : Last week was work, this week is more of the same. It's kind of disgusting. I mean, all work and no play makes a Cancer rather crabby, and I'll have to agree with you on that. Doesn't just happen to you, happens to me, too. Ever heard of a Sagicraberious? It's a hybrid of a Sagittarius Astrologer who has been overworked by people constantly complains about the nature of their horoscopes. This week, you're going to feel just like me, and no email, please. Over worked, over wrought, over taxed, and over done. [Over due, too, if you don't send a check.] Of course, if we're dealing with brisket, then over done isn't too bad. But all this over whelming feeling is going to leave you a little on the raw side. Now please, let's work with this idea. The hard work has certain benefits. Personally, and I'm sure you'll agree, those benefits are questionable at best. But with the line up starting in Taurus, it's best to give this work thing one more go right now. No two ways about that.

Leo : Stop and take a deep breath. You're going to get a little jump start on dream land and fantasies this week. Can be very good, if properly employed. I mean, the energy and the ideas that percolate to the top can be good. It's just that you might go chasing after a dream, and it's like one of those days at the lake when you spend an inordinate amount of time running all over the place because "over yonder" always looks better. Before you go off chasing idle dreams, takes the ideas that you have this week and put them in your brain. Then seal it up good and tight. You don't want anything leaking out. Allow for a proper gestation period, like, most of this week. This is like fixing a nice plate of food, you don't want to pull the chili out of the microwave before it's hot all the way through. Nothing is worse than diving into a heaping bowl of delicious canned chili only to discover that the center of the bowl is cold. So instead of burning gasoline going nowhere, instead of hatching anything before its time, give it a chance to come out fully baked, not half cooked.

Virgo : Being a Sagittarius Astrologer gives me an opportunity to study at the University of Life for as long as I can read, for as long as I can bump nouns into verbs, and for as long as I can figure out just where the heck the planets are this week. Mars, Saturn and Jupiter are in Taurus. This is good. Don't listen to what everyone tells you about how this is the beginning of the end. It's only the end of the beginning, to borrow from a certain English Statesman. There's a problem with this statesman's text, though, he was, to say the least, a little tedious when it comes to running sentences together. Another term that comes to mind is "long-winded." Not that I've ever been accused of that myself, but right now, you need to be careful that you don't accused of it. Never use a whole sentence when a single word will do. Sometimes a simple "yes" or "no" is a sufficient answer. Be succinct. Be as succinct as is humanly possible when, given the situation, you really want to use a whole lot more words, and especially try to stay away from being as vocal as I'm accused of being from time time. But not all the time. Not me, and this week, not you, too.

Libra : You are entering into a lucky phase of your life. This is an echo back to an astrological pattern that was established close to 1500 years ago. I was twiddling the astrology software to get a better glimpse of what the heavens looked like then, but I didn't get much of a clue, other than, you feel like you've been through this sort of activity before. The trick this week is to break a few repetitive patterns. You've got more than a fighting chance, and there are some habits which have become firmly entrenched in your lifestyle. So this is the week to assess what it is that you want to change. I'll promise you can get a head start on some big changes by stepping back and figuring out what needs to be modified. Personally, I was hoping that you could swing by and take a look at the motor in my truck. I know I can change it's pattern of stalling in traffic if I modified the carburetor. Might need some Libra assistance on this.

Scorpio : What's life without a few challenges? Think how boring it would all be without some interesting stuff going on. So I'll promise that this is an interesting time. I often feel like I could do with a few less challenges, myself, and I'm sure you're going to share that exact same feeling with me this week. But it's not meant to be. Mars is moving along at a good little pace over on the opposite side of the sky from your slice, and that planet is joining up with a few other planets. Times promise to be interesting. When Mars is opposite you, he offers up opportunities for you to explain just exactly who you are. And what you're all about. Regrettably, sometimes these come as challenges, so it's a little bit of a problem. Now, be a good Scorpio this week, and don't let the little challenges get out of hand. The cooler you can act this week, the better chance you have of getting by with a degree of calm in your life.

Sagittarius : There's a weird conglomeration of planets that form a heavenly aggregate for you this week. Check the way you are feeling right now, and yes, you feel good. Don't listen to the others, don't listen to what the doomsayers are suggesting right now. You've got more than your fair share of energy, so get up and use that energy. Now, we have to discuss a usually unpopular topic. Where are you going to spend all this energy that you've got stored up? It looks like it all goes to the office with you. In my case, it all goes in a boat. Work isn't usually popular with good Sagittarius folks, but work with me here: you've got a winning attitude right now, and as long as you put this work for you -- at work -- then you come up a winner all the way around. I'm beginning to wonder if that was too convoluted to make much sense. You feel good. You can win big this week. Be willing to win big at work. Okay, so work is nasty word, but it's still a good idea.

Capricorn : Persistence is a good thing. By no, you've learned that some persistence can pay off in a big way. This is a week to be a little persistent. You need some perseverance, too. "To persist and persevere" is your motto this week. Now, what's this going to bring in? Work. There's a project in its planning stages right now, and there are certain steps you can take to begin to implement this plan. For me, I would be checking the tide table for a fishing weekend on the Gulf Coast. Might not be your idea of fun, but you get the idea. Get the gear in order. Get the equipment stacked up, ready to roll. Go through your old tackle, find that one lucky lure that looks a little ragged -- but it works like a lucky charm. Make sure you have all the stuff together. In some cases, planning is very important, and this week, a some planning and thoughtful preparation is going to help you. So the new motto is now, "Planning, preparation, persistence, persevere." (Phish?)

Aquarius : Mars is going to make fast pass at your Neptune thing, in the sky. This isn't all bad, but it's going to cause you to do something really which is, at best, very questionable in judgment. In other words, you might go out and fall in love with perfectly good looking person, only to find out, when the week is up, the person you fell so hard for is nothing more than a hollow image of something you want, not the real thing by any stretch of the imagination. It's your imagination which is getting stretched this week. Since not all Aquarius folks are in the mood for love, it might not be a person. It could be an idea. It could be a new boat. It could be a shiny red truck, step-side. And those step side truck are really cute, especially that new Ford one. But it's still not a good idea. The purpose of a truck is to haul stuff, and the step side beds just aren't big enough to haul much more than a single box of stuff. So whether it's love of a person, or love of an idea, you might want to wait until the week is over before you make that big commitment. And as a truck owner, let me warn you about all the friends you suddenly develop at the end of the month....

Pisces : Communication with your peers, friends, families, enemies, co-worker, cohorts and everyone else not already covered is the theme for this week, and it's going to become and increasingly important theme as the month evolves. And you get a chance to evolve, too. There are some arcane astrological theories which suggest you are already evolved, and that's why you're a Pisces to begin with. I tend to wonder about that. I also tend to wonder about past lives with ex-wives but I guess that's a different story. However, there is a theme that needs to be talked about. You need to check what it is that you're saying, perhaps write it all out on matchbook cover before you launch into that great speech. What Mercury tore up a little while ago is back, and even though this is a good time to put all this back together, you need to be careful and eschew excessive verbiage.

"I am no orator, as Brutus is;
But, as you know me all, a plain blunt man."
Shakespeare's Julius Caesar, Act III, scene ii.

Aries : It's the beginning of the Aries Birthday time, starting this week. Spring Equinox, the beginning of the astrological new year, the start of great things. The inception point for this whole new stuff thing. It's a great idea, and it looks really good on paper. But in Texas, even though it's supposedly "spring" time, it's beginning to look a little like summer according to some definitions, and that idea applies to you as well. Things are heating for Aries. Now, Mars is leaving this week, which should help improve your focus. You're not going to be quite as scattered as you have been. You're also going to feel a little tired at times, like there's just a little too much excitement going on right now. Reminds me of weekend when I was supposed to be "off." It started on Saturday morning, and the pressure never let up, folks coming and going, my front door should have been a a revolving door, and I wore out a pair of boots just trying to keep up. It's going to be like that for you this week. Relax? It's a great idea. Won't happen, though.

Taurus : Slowly, surely, steadily, Mars makes an entrance in the Tropical Zodiac Sign of Taurus this week. Seemingly good, too. But appearances can be deceiving, and a little extra caution is urged this week. In fact, I should have some sort of Mars Refrain worked out by now. He's an active planet, and he's going to push you to excel this week. He's also going to start trying to finger your buttons. The buttons I'm referring to are the emotional ones. He's going to reach for every last little button that he sees, and he's going to try to fire off whatever he can. Better get used to this Martian energy, because it's a common theme for a little while. Sooner or later, you're going to feel like he's right there. All I can suggest is to move like Mars does, with a degree of stealth this week.

Gemini : There are some days when "instant gratification" just takes too long. You've got a week which is filling up just like that. Now, the good news is that there is a group of some of your co-workers, associates and friends who are willing to get together and go play. This is an important concept right now. But the problem with an important concept like "play" is that it just doesn't happen fast enough for your tastes. And when you're dealing with a group of folks, not all of them are going to be Gemini, and the ones who ain't Gemini just don't get your need for speed. "There's an efficiency quotient in this, you know." Right, that means that you are moving at a typical Gemini rate, and the rest of the crowd is meandering along, and according to your definition, wandering around aimlessly. It's irritating, to say the least. Be patient with the rest of us this week. You'll get some of that instant gratification yet, but it won't be happening quite as fast as you like.

Cancer : I like working with a chart like you've got this week. It's really a simple message. It involves one of your least favorite activities, unless you're involved a job that you really like. It's all about work this week. There is nothing else that is really peeking through the your own, personal heavens. I know that at least one dear Cancer Reader will write in and complain about this, but I'm just trying to stick the astrological basics as I understand them, and work is that central issue -- this week. We'll be happy to discuss other options in another week, but this week, you need to plan on spending as much time as possible in your boat if your a fishing guide. The little problem right now, if you are a fishing guide, is that the usual places where you find work, that would be fishes, are going to have less than the usual yield. But concentration on this work related theme this week has some serious long term benefit. That's the point.

Leo : Good times are right ahead. Good times and stupid people. Ever notice, no matter where you go, the most moronic of drivers seem to follow you there? I moved from North East Texas to Central Texas, and those drivers all seemed to follow me. I was visiting El Paso, and the drivers out there, obviously, weren't from there. I could tell by the number of drivers who didn't know how to drive. So you're going to get followed around by a lot of people this week who seem to be a little on the ignorant side. That's the polite way to put it. Of course, I've never been politically correct myself, I don't know why I should start now, but you're getting the idea... yes, they are following you. So you're feeling pretty good this week, and there are number of confrontations which present themselves to you. Instead of yelling at the person, instead of that one finger salute, try something a little different. Say a prayer. Pray for them. Pray that they find some brains and common sense soon. It's the best thing you can do, and you don't want to ruin your good attitude.

Virgo : Things are getting better and better, moment by moment. Okay, for the Virgo who must have this measured correctly, it's getting better inch by friggin' inch. Got that? I was tempted to use the more pejorative term, "inch by bloody inch" but my attempts at an English accent get more and more tortured by every trip I take out west -- West Texas -- where the drawl is more pronounced. But you're getting the idea. Just like my accent gradually degrades into that lyric, southern, west Texas twang, your week gets better and better. Of course, these are incremental changes for the better so it's not like you're going to feel like that there are giant strides forward, and it's not like you're going to feel like it's necessarily a good time, but if you reflect back, look back over the last couple of days, you'll find that yes, indeed, my most excellent Virgo friend, it has been a good week. Changes, for the better, courtesy of Mars, are happening. Slowly, to be sure, but it's one of those things that takes time.

Libra : There's a not so subtle shift in the planets this week. It's a harbinger of things to come in your little slice of the sky. There's a certain degree of ease at work which comes now. Maybe not not easiest, but the problems are quickly dealt with, and you can turn a stack of work into a series of slices for everyone else to deal with. In fact the works disappears as fast as a free pizza does around here at the office. No sooner does the delivery person show up, then there's a swarm of activity, like flies buzzing over a stinking road kill carcass, and then "poof" it's all gone. Maybe Rosalind said it best: "Alack! in me what strange effect/Would they work in mild aspect" As You Like It (IV.ii.74-5). So divvy up your work like free pizza this week, and watch it disappear. Alack, that's the strange effect.

Scorpio : I can't seem to escape that Austin Sound for Scorpio, not this week. We're famous for music. There's a lot of it here. It's that special, sort of country, sort of rock, sort of blues, sort of tangy, sort of bittersweet, folk, acid, retro, post punk, alt country inspired stuff. So imagine that this week is like a song from an Austin Author, something about Lonesome Highway Blues, but add a fiddle and some decent electric guitar stuff, and then maybe you get some ideas. It's not all that bad, but you are going to be spending more than your share of the week spinning along your own, personal "lonesome highway." This isn't all bad. A lot of Scorpio's like to spend more than an inordinate amount of time solo. It seems to fit with their own personal definition of who they are. But when you start feeling like you've been alone just about long enough, you need to head on down that lonesome Scorpio highway. Don't worry about it. Let me know if you discover any genres of music that I've left out of your definition of music, too.

Sagittarius : Have you ever been at the gym, reading a Wall Street Journal while walking on the treadmill? Or you've been on the Hike and Bike path, and there's some one beside you with a portable electronic device and ear bud speakers, but the music is cranked so loud, you can feel the bass? It's like one of my friend's car, he's got the trickest bass boomer in the trunk. Sort of hurts if he ever gets a flat because there wasn't any room for the spare tire, but you get the idea. This week is like that intrusion in your privacy. Now, you can do what any rational, straight shooting -- forward thinking Sagittarius would do in this situation, you can rip that head phone off the guy's head, yank the ear buds out of her ears, swerve and force the offending car off the road. But these aren't good solutions. The easiest way to deal with intrusions in your space this week is to drop back. Don't accelerate because the other guy will think it's a race. It's not a good week to be competitive. Just let them pass, and your glorious silence will return.

Capricorn : There is a certain ease and grace that is often associated with your sign, the sign of the Sea Goat. Okay, maybe some astrologers don't see this ease and grace that I'm talking about, but it's certainly there. And this is going to become more pronounced as the week flows by. Imagine nice, lyric poetry, and I'm not talking about something that comes violently out of a poetry "slam" either. This light and lyrical stuff is more like what you should aim for his week. Take your special message this week, and wrap it in flower strewn words, something that sounds just as nice as Pecan Pie. Maybe as sweet as Peach Cobbler with a big old double scoop of vanilla Ice Cream on top of it. You're going to be serving up some harsh information this week, but I'll trust you to put it in terms that seem equitable, sort of like "a la mode," which is the best way to serve this week. Personally, I really like it covered in Vanilla Bean Ice Cream, or like some of Amy's Mexican Vanilla.

Aquarius : Every once in a while, we have to have a little talk about your propensity for escape behavior. There are little astrological triggers that come along and set this sort of thing off. Escape behavior can be blatantly obvious, something like a case or two of beer and a fishing boat. Being an Aquarius, though, you can get mighty sneaky about how you hide what you do for escape. I'm reminded of one Aquarius, under just such an influence, he managed to convince most of his neighbors that he was retiring from his office job, and he claimed to be a fishing guide therefore, all the time he spent fishing was work he was supposedly getting paid for. The message is clear, though, you've done the work, but you might not be getting paid for your efforts. Be careful about living in a fantasy world right now -- live that to an expert like myself.

Pisces : According to some famous astrologers, every time a celestial object swaps signs, that means something big is happening, like a major shift in energy, and, as a Pisces, I'm sure you're aware of these changes in energy. "Sure. Can't miss it. Right on, buddy," you mutter to me. The sun leaves Pisces, and Mars leave Aries, and, for what it's worth, Mercury and Venus are firmly ensconced in Pisces. Sounds like a lot going on, and it is. In plain terms, Pisces are all stirred up by any number of minor things going on right now. The tricky part to remember that you are being tickled by any number of minor things. These ain't big things. Might be more like ticked off rather than tickled, too. But if you can overlook the minor and persistent irritations, you'll notice that the overall picture is big and bright right now. The hardest party of this week is putting yourself in a place where you can see how nice this time really is.

"No more, no more! Worse than the sun in March,
This praise doth nourish agues."
Shakespeare's King Henry IV, part uno, Act IV, scene 1.

Quiz time: Buddy Holly [Virgo] is from Lubbock, Texas. But who said, "At least the first forty songs we wrote were Buddy Holly-influenced." To make this even better, not only do I need to purported author of the quote, but I need a location -- the source of the quote.

Send along your correct guess, and get in the running for an abbreviated "Planet profile," straight from the Fishing Guide to the Stars World Headquarters and Texas Music Archive, in fashionable East Austin, Texas.

Aries : There is strange, and then there is bizarre. And then there's the tales from parts of East Texas which are too strange and too bizarre to be believed. However, after years of research and a number of on-site visits, I've determined that these tales are sometimes more reality than myth. This is a week when you get one of those tales. Although I'm referring to a place in Texas, I'm not suggesting that it is a tall tale. But the week begins with the oddest little influence, and the week finishes up with Mars in the final stages of making an exit from your sign. Between that and Mercury, and Venus, you feel like you are living in one of these tall tales which is more true than you really care to believe. The good news is that you are not imagining what you see right now. The bad news is that no one will believe you when you try to recount your tale. Of course, this a is a frequent occurrence in Texas. Keep it to yourself a little longer. You ain't ready to go public just yet.

Taurus : Odd influences are over. And there's just the barest hint that you might still be dealing with Saturn stuff. Not long ago, I had a brilliant insight when I was responding to a reader's note. "Saturn = work." It's a simple equation. It does more with two words and one simple symbol than I can do with a whole volume of words. It's a simple idea, too. Naturally, the word "work" offends my delicate nature, but that shouldn't stop you from exploring these possibilities. Mercury is getting itself righted this week, so you've got some room to move. If you quit singing the Saturn blues this week, and get after the "work" thing, I'll promise that there are some rewards this week. You might find yourself muttering about the lack of verifiable results, but as the week closes, you'll look back and notice that there has been an incremental improvement.

Gemini : I would just get ready for a wild ride this week. And it's going to take some of its usual twists, turns, leaps, and, the more I think about it, the more I realize that this week isn't going to be its usual, predictable self. If you follow a rodeo circuit, you learn that each critter has its own peculiar traits. Some are spinners, constantly spinning to the left. Some try to buck all the time. Others try to slide out from underneath you. Doesn't matter what the rumors and reputations are right now, however, because the week is going to make a serious attempt to get you off its back, and the week is going to try some new moves. All that research which you have done for the time being isn't going to yield useful information about your adversary. You can plan on the week having some unexpected twists. News like, "that one always pulls to the left," is going to prove false right now. So be prepared for the unexpected.

Cancer : There's an old Garth Brooks' song which I've taken a real shine to, and it fits with your week, "Blame it all on my roots, I showed up in boots (and ruined you black tie affair)..." The problem with this song is that boots are considered formal wear in Texas. In some parts of Texas, even wearing shoes is considered a formal touch. But I think you get the idea. You have an opportunity to shock the system this week. The planets have been playing fast and loose with your gastrointestinal tract, and you've got a chance to do something besides sit there and take it. You get a chance to fight back, you get a chance to make a statement. I'm not sure that boots are the exact answer to the question, but something a little different, something a little out of the ordinary, something that is not expected of you, is a good idea this week. Bold statements and bold actions are called for in order to drive home a point.

Leo : There's a minor sigh of relief which you can begin to feel this week. It's nothing major, and it's not that big of a deal, but you do get a chance to finally relax some. Some one has been causing ripples in your fishing pond of life, and these ripples have upset your Leo Leisure Craft. And, to make this a worst case scenario, it's been hard to fish, as well. But when you least expect it, when there's no relief in sight, just when it seems like it is darkest before the storm, just when it feel like everything is heading downstream, there's a subtle shift. A good shift. A positive shift. A change for the better. Things are looking up. The closer the weekend gets, the better it feels.

Virgo : I sat down and looked the computer monitor, just last week, I decided that I needed to change my way of looking at Virgo land, and I reached up and slid on my "mid-life crisis" sunglasses. Mirrored aviator shades. Of course, being a Virgo, you know that I feel rather silly sitting in front of a computer monitor, deep in a Texas trailer park, wearing sunglasses like this. I mean, I don't feel silly wearing the aviator shades, but mirrored shades in front of a computer? I'm glad no one I know can see me right now. My closest neighbor is at the junkyard looking for truck parts today. But like my shades, you've got a new way of looking at things this week. What has been nothing but irritation after irritable situation is suddenly and simply changing. And the change can be as simple as putting on a pair of sunglasses. Even when you're sitting at the computer.

Libra : Once again, my popularity in the Libra camp is going to plummet. And the cause of consternation is not me, but it is some one who is close to you. Depends on how friendly you are with your astrology fishing buddy, I guess. Of course, you've heard all the stuff about Mercury Retrograde, and this has caused an unusual "furrowed brow" syndrome in Libra Land this past few weeks. But the worst of it is over, and there is some final drawing together that's going to happen. Due to a small quirk in nature, and the relative position of some heavenly objects, though, this final summing up of a situation doesn't get full resolution just yet. Close, but not quite. You can see the end, but you can't get there from here. Takes a little longer than you anticipate. Add a few extra minutes, hours, maybe even days to the amount of time allocated to finish up this week.

Scorpio : Like any good Scorpio, and if you read this on a regular basis, you must be a good Scorpio, then you know that Mercury has been playing naughty little games that might be fun (or might not be). And Mars has been kicking up Aries dust. Now that the Mars thing is almost over, it's going to move into a position that is opposite you. For good or for ill? Mars isn't there yet, but before you incur any debt owed to Mars, you might use a little lift from a Mercury Turn Around (MTA) in order to get ready for the Mars thing. As this week begins to draw to a close, do a little planning, a little research, and figure out how to apply the MTA energy in a useful manner. Get ready to wrap it all up, and get ready to make a presentation which will loudly state what is important (to you). I figure, if it's important to you, then it must be important to the rest of us, as well. Right? Right.

Sagittarius : If you go back and look at Virgo, you realize that I'm probably sitting at a computer right now, wearing a pair of sunglasses. That, in and of itself, might sound a little foolish. And sometimes, as a Sagittarius, you do things which might sound a little foolish. Or look like a clown. But this week, you get a chance to be a clown -- a clown prince, that is. Humor has been in a short supply, so you might try taking a lesson from both Capricorn (dry delivery) and Scorpio (don't say a thing). Try sitting there, with your sunglasses on, working away. Wait until someone else notices that you're doing something strange like that. If they ask, there are a couple of replies which might be in order. There's the standard, "I'm so bright, I need these shades, look at this," or there might some kind of a "going blind looking at this screen" line. I'm confidant you can come up a with a good retort. Besides, the mirror shades hide what is really going on this week, and I suggest you try to be a little more reserved about making comments.

Capricorn : Have you noticed that there has been a dramatic shortfall in the number of bibles placed in motel rooms lately? That one group which promised a bible in every motel seems to have fallen down on the job. I was reflecting about this because I needed a good biblical quote to get this week's Capricorn energy going, something which would reflect a positive, uplifting message with a sense of tradition behind it, something that was spiritually fit, and something that wouldn't offend the non-Christians, too. But this motel doesn't have a bible, so I can't seem to find where to look for a decent quote. I try to keep a King James Bible handy as a reference work, but I'm coming up pitifully short this week. Your week is like my search for that elusive quote. Solid, up beat, morally sound, something that fits well with your own philosophical and religious background, something that doesn't offend anyone yet carries a message strong and clear. It's in there, some place, but I can't find it this week. I know your Capricorn persistence is liable to dig it up and send it to me, but when I get home, I already have a copy. The week has a strong and morally sound message to you.

Aquarius : There's a strange little Venus and Mercury rendezvous early in the week. Two little planets that make you want to reach and touch someone. Being an Aquarius, this touch might not be exactly what it is that you're looking for, except, perhaps, on a metaphorical level. Pick up the phone, grab the keyboard, do what it is that you do best, and make an effort to wrap up the final bits and pieces of the Mercury going backwards thing. Get it out of the way. There is a prurient interest that you have, and I know that's not a typical Aquarius reaction, but this little love interest of yours is kicking your mind into a frenzy. Do something to satisfy that tickle in the back of your mind. And what satisfies best? In some cases, just a little giggle is all it takes.

Pisces : Two things are worthy of note this week. Maybe even three events are worthwhile. One would be Mercury finally turning himself around. The second would be Venus. And finally, to make this all a happy picture, there's a full moon coming up. I don't know how happy the full moon will actually be, but I'd wager it's going to be a fun time for you. There are some unusually good energies floating through your sphere of influence right now. These good energies are like the wildflowers in Texas, though, there is no predictable pattern to the time, growth and abundance of the flowers. Some years are really, really wonderful. Other years, only a few of the plants take seed and grow. However, after giving your chart a good second look, I figure the end of the week is going to feel like one of those special spring times in Texas when the colors are radiant and really, really beautiful.

It's Texas Independence Month, the time when we all celebrate those important dates, like the time when the Bluebonnet was made the State Flower, Mar. 7, 1901.

"A good heart is the Sun and the Moon; or rather, the sun and not the moon, for it shines bright and never changes."
Shakespeare's King Henry V, Act V, scene ii.

Aries : Mars, Mars, Mars. Nothing but Mars. Actually, there's a lot more happening in the sky than Mars, and you're going to spend part of the week wondering why everyone is so happy. But it's a matter of making use of this Martian energy. If I had a clue as to what to do, I would be offering that. But right now, all I can tell is that you've got a rather unusual influence coming your way. Part of this is subconscious and that's due to the Pisces influence in your chart. Part of this, though, is also winging itself in from a another place. When I get on a plane and hop out to West Texas, I have this built in excuse, folks look at me and say, "It's okay, he's from Austin," and then they give a little knowing roll of their eyes. You're going to want to come up with a similar excuse for yourself this week. I like mine best, but I'm not sure it will translate to your own location. But you can try it: "I'm from South Austin, you know...."

Taurus : I'm not going to continually bombard my dear Taurus friends with one calamity after another -- the various problems associated with having Saturn take an extended tour through your sign. But every once in awhile, there's another alignment in the heavens which sort of sets off the Saturn energy. That's going on this week. It's a weird angle, and what with the other stuff that's kicking around right now, and the moon making a fast pass at you as well, it's going to be an interesting time to take a long and hard look at the Saturn issues which come creeping to the top. More like bubbling to the top. But you get the idea. It's there and it won't go away, so roll up your sleeves. Hey, here in Texas, it's spring time, and it's a good time to spread some fertilizer around. Maybe that's what you want to do with that Saturn stuff.

Gemini : The five wits were often thought to be the like the five senses. But with a little research here at FGS World Headquarters and Institute for Historical Studies, we've discovered that the five wits were really: common wit, imagination, fantasy, estimation and memory. This week, you're going to feel like you are at your wits' end. You might feel like you're taken leave of your senses. You might feel like common wit fails you. Of course, like the good Gemini that you are, you will realize, sooner or later, that you've got four other wits to fall back on. The problem with a Mercurial period like this is that the most common form of Gemini wit that gets employed is imagination. You need to use something besides just your imagination and fantasy world in order to deal with the little problems that keep circling back -- it only makes good sense this week.

Cancer : One of the lake I frequent is more like a pond than a lake. And it has a rule about no outboard motors bigger than ten horsepower. That's because the lake doesn't want to disturb the neighbors. Or boater on the lake shouldn't disturb the motors. With a strong March wind blowing, I watched as one fisherman tried work his way against the wind, the battery on his trolling motor was draining far more rapidly, and he was really thinking about dropping the big 50 Horsepower Mercury in the water and firing it up. You're just like that guy this week. System are straining. The force of Nature seems to be working against you. Instead of trying to fight this thing out, cozy up next to the bank, and let the shore break the wind. fishing will be better there, too.

Leo : The week starts out with the Moon in a water sign, Mercury Retrograde in a water sign, and your ruling celestial object in a water sign. As long as all this stuff is stacked up in water, be prepared for a soggy, spring-like situation to present itself. Just because it's soggy doesn't mean that it's not a good time for you. But there are some little problems which will present themselves. Of course, just about any little problem to a Leo can get blown out of proportion. Careful with that attitude right now. All that water leaves you feeling a little too much. If you're not too careful this week, the whole thing will turn into a sodden mess, and that's not good. I don't want the emotions to extinguish any Leo fire.

Virgo : I was looking for a nice way to explain the feeling that this week has. There's a new moon forming over in the opposite sign of Pisces at the very beginning of the week. That's good, sometimes. And there's a Mercury Planet moving in apparent retrograde motion, also opposite you. That's not so good. You get this feeling that you're supposed to be starting up a new project this week, but all you really feel like doing is taking a nap. It's a "feeling good but no one gets it" week. You are in great shape, but you can't seem to catch the eye of the person you really want to notice you. You're looking good, but it feels like the only person who seems to care is that homeless guy, and he only notices because you might give him a dollar. You feel a little used, a little tardy, and little out of place. I mean, you feel good, but if no one can seem to notice, or the only attention you get is from unwanted parties, what's the point? The point being you should shoulder on the through the week, and let the chips fall where they may. In a few weeks, you'll look back and realize that you made some big hits this week, only, right now, it just doesn't feel like it.

Libra : This is one of those weeks when you are supposed to let everyone know just who you are, and you are supposed to let everyone know just what you stand for. Make a bold statement. The problem with making a bold statement this week is that the little retrograde planet is going to subvert some of your message. It's not the message that will suffer, but I'm not sure the guys on the receiving end of your message are going to get it. This unresponsive audience is not without some redeeming qualities. In about two weeks, they are going to look at you, that little dim bulb over their pointy heads will brighten momentarily, and they will go, "Oh, I get it it now!" But by the time your information is finally received, you're going to be off in another place, doing something else. Don't hesitate to make your point as clear as possible this week, just don't anticipate the results.

Scorpio : "Dearly beloved, we gathered here today to..." To what? Marrying or burying? I have one suit. Fits both occasions. In reality, I have several suits, one for each weight, my summer weight and my winter weight. The problem is, that my summer suit only fits in the winter and my winter suit only really fits in the summer. It's an inverse law about weight. I tend to gain weight in the summer when I should be slim, and I tend to shed weight in the winter, when I should be putting on some extra pounds to help make it through the cold Texas winter. (We do get snow -- some years.) This same sort of inverse proportion of weight and power suits seems to fit with your theme for the week. Everything is backwards. It's not as it should be. There's something wrong here. There's something definitely amiss. It's spring time in Texas, and you're thinking about a harvest. It's Mercury Retrograde, and you're thinking about a new project. Venus is upsetting your love life, and you're thinking about romance. See what I mean? It's all topsey turvey. Work with the inverse proportions of this week, and make the best of it. Just plan on doing it all backwards.

Sagittarius : Talk about your uplifting week! And just when you thought it wasn't going to get any better. This is the beginning of a special cycle, and it's a new beginning for you, well, maybe the term new beginning is a little strong. Maybe there's a better way to look at this week because it does start out a little rough. It doesn't get off to the best of starts, and there is a still an errant Mercury to deal with, but there's a kick that comes shortly after the new moon, and along with that kick, there's Mars, still over yonder in Aries, combined with Venus, still up there in Aquarius, and both of these are going to make it good for you. Ideas run rampant in your mind. The problem is that rampant ideas in your brain seem to bounce around, but the translation to the outside world doesn't work. Good luck on getting your message across. I'm just going to hold onto mine and wait for a little bit better astrological weather -- and you might try the same thing.

Capricorn : I'm tired this week, and I can't think of a better way to explain what you need to do, but here it goes, "Once more into the breach dear friends, once more..." It's from Shakespeare's "Henry V, Life and Death," Act 3, first 14 lines, and it's a pretty famous speech. In fact, when I've heard it on stage before, I've been tempted to jump up on my seat, pull out a dagger I carry, and start sawing off the heads of any French people around me. Of course, the little saw blade on a Swiss army knife isn't really good enough for such a gruesome task, and it's French Noblemen I'm supposed to be upset with, not the whole of France. Hey, the French invented my second most favorite cuisine, so I can't be too mad at them. I just get caught up in the moment, and Harry's little speech. You're going to be similarly motivated this week. In fact, this week, I wouldn't be too surprised to see you turn to the person next to you in the theatre, and you start whipping out your own Swiss army knife. But before you reach for arms, think about Harry's speech. He motivates with words. And words would be your best weapon this week, not one of those pocket knife saw blades.

Aquarius : I used a terribly quotidian analogy once, and it bothered me because I didn't ever feel like I did justice to the allusion. It was a joke I blatantly ripped from a once popular comedian, and I just reworked the material. In fact, it was one of the now tired jokes that started out, "You might might be a Redneck if...." But like those old jokes which may be getting rather exhausted, you're going to find that you've got an issue or two this week, items and events which keep coming back to you -- no matter what you do to duck this sort of thing, there is still the same old stuff which keeps resurfacing, keeps coming back to haunt you. And I'm still bothered by that allusion. So this week, even though you've got a load of the old old stuff bothering you, you also have Venus in her finally rites of passage in your sign, and she's of a mind to help you iron out some of these old problems. Use a little charm, maybe borrow a line from a comedian, see if that works.

Pisces : Venus is good. Venus is a nice planet. Venus brings many wondrous things into your life. Venus is a being a major pain in the backside this week. So close and yet so far away. This whole Venus thing is made a lot worse by the fact that Mr. Mercury is backing up at a very early degree of Pisces, and there is a new moon this week, again at that selfsame early degree of Pisces. I might be a little off on the numbers, but the effect is the same, no matter how you look at it. It's a time when you are supposed to be stirring up something new, but nothing new is there to be stirred up. It's more like a scene from one of my favorite plays, a play about a Scottish lad who would be king, and what he does when he tempts fate. Fate, in this particular production, is represented by three old ladies, and they spend an inordinate amount of time stirring a pot and muttering things like "toil and trouble, eye of newt," and so forth. As long as the Fates are stirring up a witches' brew this week, don't tempt them.