Week of: July 1-7

    "It has to be done right... and that's when the strange music starts, when you stretch your luck so far that fear becomes exhilaration and vibrates along your arms."

    Hunter S. Thompson in Hell's Angels, a Strange and Terrible Saga.

    Remember, the key phrase is "that's when the strange music starts..."

Aries: If you weren't feeling the emotions I kept talking about within the last week, you will certainly be feeling them this week. The advantage to be a an Aries is that you are a Fire Sign and can usually deal with pesky little things like "feelings" in a straightforward manner. In this case, propose marriage. if it flies, so be it. And if it doesn't, move to the next relationship. These "feelings" will subside, next week.

Taurus: The usual astrology text will tell you that you hare having a good week, but I'll wager that work looks pretty dismal right now. And so does the romantic front. Before you worry too much about all this dismal stuff, keep track of the fact that your time is coming, and the very best way to attack a week like this is like a bear: roll around in the sun and enjoy not working too hard.

Gemini: The good news is that Venus turns herself around this week, and takes off in a forward gallop. Okay, so she starts at a crawl and then slowly builds to a stately pace. Venus and Mars play tag one more time. This means Romance is highlighted. One more time. Did I ever explain why Gemini's are the best people to have a romantic relationship with? You're ability to be diverse and to always be entertaining give much pleasure to the right partner. Now's the time.

Cancer: Birthdays and a sullen attitude are prevalent this week. When a Cancer starts to sulk, well, it's not a pretty sight. Just because your Big Birthday is overshadowed by a national holiday is no reason to sulk. Just snap out of it. And watch your driving, too. Youwill find a certain degree of mental acuity which further exacerbates your mental languor, so just hang in until we all get this Birthday stuff over with.

Leo: Getting ready for the big party? Waiting on things to FINALLY turn in your favor? Have your bags packed? You will find that you have an overpowering urge to travel right about now, and there doesn't seem like you have a destination firmly set in mind. This could present a problem: other sign (like Sagittarius) don't mind wandering around, lost. You do mind it. you need to pick the destination with care. After all, it is your birthday time approaching, the celebration of the year.

Virgo: You realize that you are going to attract a lot more attention this week than you are used to attracting. This is due to a favorable stellar configuration. Now, if you can just move beyond the usual Virgo tendency to to be too picky then everything will start to work out. Too much attention to details can hurt you right now, try and step back for a better look at the big picture.

Libra: You have received some insight in how this relationship-thing is supposed to work out. At least, you are supposed to have received some insight by now. Your best luck comes from a "guided meditation" with live bait on the boat. That means head out for some good fishing to get some time alone. Watch out for the celebrations, too, you don't want to party too much.

Scorpio: This insight that I keep harping on you about, it's your usual deep way of looking at things, and you need to apply that critical ability right now. While your at it, it would also be a good time to hone up your razor sharp wit. Get an edge on that edge, if you know what I mean. Scorpio's always have a razor wit.

Sagittarius: The week starts out with money on your mind and the week ends with romance on your mind. Which will it be? Love or money? Can't get them both worked out this week, and you, being a good Sagittarius, ought to work on the romance rather than the money because the money will start to some your way soon enough.

Capricorn: Talk about turning into a day dreamer around the first of the week! That's what you've got to look forward to, a lot of day dreams. Just exercise a caution with this day dreaming, though, because hard core reality comes knocking on your door as the week progress. Think about working during the holiday -- times being what they are!

Aquarius: It's a rather unusual week for you guys, the sign of the black leather jacket -- ever hear of the Ton Up Club? It was in the early Sixties, anyone who had ever been on a fast motorcycle, over a hundred miles an hour. What's this got to do with you? It reflects how you feel this week. No live bait, either, because you will find that your "feelings" are too "delicate" to handle those squirming live things right now.

Pisces: You guys are destined to fall head over heels in love with someone this week. Pretty simple forecast for you, huh? Just realize that it might not work out too well, being a brief encounter. But you will find that love and romance are in the Pisces air, or water and gills, as it were.

Week of: Jun 24-30

"What a damned Epicurean rascal is this?"
Francis Ford in Shakespeare's The Merry Wives of Windsor (II.ii.276)

Aries: Of course, most Aries will not agree with me, but that doesn't ,matter, we need to agree to disagree on this minor point: it is a good week filled with the rewards of many efforts. In fact, the chief reward should have something to do with a romantic relationship which feels like it is based upon some kind of fate-approved destiny. The only problem is an emotional opposition to allowing good things to happen, like this fine hand of fate.

Taurus: You've had your eye on some one for a long time now, and you keep wondering if you should make a move any time soon. Probably not. The very thing that is holding you back from making any kind of forward advancement in this relationship is your mind being overly active. While questions are a good exercise, too many questions kind freeze up your heart, rather than warming it up, like it's supposed to be.

Gemini: I warned you about relationships right now, but did you listen? Of course not. With Mars and Venus playing celestial tag with each other in your sign, you really feel the heat for the relationship stuff. To exacerbate matters, your poor heart feels like it is out on your sleeves again. My suggestion is to wear sleeveless shirts this week (thereby reducing heart troubles).

Cancer: So you've got a birthday month in full swing? I would take a lesson from something besides Western Astrology, and I would look out. There is a annoyingly loud and noisome holiday right around the corner, it's a good time to learn to duck. Get ready fro a rollicking week coming up. And if you are an early Cancer, then Happy Birthday this week.

Leo: No bad news this week for Leo. None at all. And for some of you, this might prove a bit troublesome just because there is nothing that you should be looking out for. The week starts off with a slow fizzle and builds towards a good weekend for you. Emotions might seem a bit frayed by the pyrotechnics, but why not just sit back and enjoy the party? You will find yourself in the limelight one more time.

Virgo: You are feeling a bit pensive this week, and frankly, I would enjoy the added mental clarity that comes your way. Your normally incisive mind is further heightened so enjoy the good use of insight. Make an effort, this week, to do something constructive for yourself. You'll feel better even if the act looks like it is selfish. Being a little selfish every once in a while, is a good thing.

Libra: The Moon goes roaring across you early in the week, making for an exciting time. Your emotions are on the edge this week, too, so some caution is advised. Not too much, caution, though, because you don't want to ruin a good thing. Feel good about something this week. It will help. And, you will find that you are in a good position to effect some resolution to one particular problem you've been dealing with lately. Tackle the one problem, and not too many, this week.

Scorpio: There's one thing I love about a Scorpio. Actually, there are lots of things to love about a Scorpio, but the attribute which figures so prominently this week is the the tenacious ability to get to the bottom of something. Use this energy wisely, my good Scorpio friend, because it doesn't come in this strong too often. Trust your own judgment, not some one else's. This is a good week to ferret out information that you have been seeking.

Sagittarius: The fireworks arrive a little bit early this week. That's what it feels like. The slow crescendo builds towards the weekend, and by Thursday or Friday, you might be close to exploding. Just like some of the fireworks that are for sale along the roadside. Don't you love this time of year? Just be careful with those sticky, interpersonal relationships right now, no need to harm something that doesn't deserve the harm. Watch you mouth.

Capricorn: Well, dear Capricorn, we are waiting on a lot of things this week.. If you are a Christmas baby, then this week is your official "Half-Birthday" and you should enjoy that special day. Get out and do something for yourself. Just don't overexert yourself on this half birthday celebration. With Jupiter (the lucky star) all over you, games of chance, lady luck, and dame fortune are all smiling on you. Use it or lose it.

Aquarius: Deep seated changes in the way you relate to other people is the concept for he week. Work with me on this: you are going to learn a new way to encounter people this week. Approach this as a learning experience, and you can truly benefit from it.

Pisces: You know, as I go through the year with you, I have watched the tide swell up on your relationships, watched the water crest, and finally, this week, watch it subside a little. "Don't panic," as one author suggests, because the changing waters of life for your are in for one more change. Just hold on this week. As if that were any problem.

Week of: Jun. 17-23

"Men's evil manners live in brass; their virtues/We write in water." Just like Griffith says, in King Henry VIII (IV.ii.46-6) Now think about that in terms of Ancient Egyptian Astrology where the Cancer was considered the House of the Soul. Kind of makes you wonder, doesn't it?

Aries: Despite what other, lesser, astrologers might tell you, this is a good week for Aries because there is a strong amount of "flowing" energy going your direction. The one problem you're going to encounter this week is that all this flowing energy is trying to flow you right back into bed. You will discover that you can be late, and it will be okay. You will encounter a higher degree of forgiveness than usual. And, because of this, you will tempted to take the week off and stay in bed just because you can get away with it. (hint: it's not really a good idea)

Taurus: Okay, dear Taurus friend, this is the week to go forth and make money. Don't ask question, don't wonder why, just get out there and make some money. The time is ripe. It's a season for you to clean up in the area where you earn income. Of this we can both be sure. You will find that your business insight has been a little foggy lately. Like getting up too early in the morning. The fog has lifted, the sun is out. Go forward and make some serious bread.

Gemini: From last week's emotional roller coaster, it's back to love and work these days. Gemini's are often depicted as being scattered, that "twin" thing, or maybe the Mercury (your ruler) thing, or maybe the Mutable Air thing. Whatever the case, as the case may be, you guys are wound tighter than a bloated tick' belly this week. But if you maintain this frenzied pace, you will find that you can a lot of work out of the way.

Cancer: The sun rolls into Cancer, and there's a new Moon just celebrate and set everything off. This is a great week for the cocoon thing. You guys love, you know that. I would prefer to build a nest on a new bass boat, but you have yet to listen to me about that. Why start whining about a new boat with Cancer Birthdays all here now?

Leo: This is it -- the final dark before the big party. The sun is officially in your 12th House which means that it feels like nothing is going to go your way. You will probably be very tempted to act childish right now, particularly this week. Don't get that attitude with me, I just report the facts! As soon as you can, remember that it's that old, foolish Sun who is making you this way. We have some other pitfalls ahead, so keep your eyes set on a Birthday Bash.

Virgo: The week starts out slow, didn't it? Gets a lot better now, doesn't it? Go do the Virgo thing and clean house, or clean your office, or something like that. You have been in such a state lately, I swear! Get ready for the weekend because that long lost love is coming back to you -- what's it been? A week? A month? A year? A decade? They are on their way back to you this week. Let me know when they arrive.

Libra: You incisive mind is finally feeling a little bit better because you are a little more willing to go with the flow this week. Last week was good for money deals. So is this week, only, I would exercise a little more caution around a business deal which is a little too structured. All those rules and clauses may not be filled out properly. Check the red tape, one more time.

Scorpio: Other than a little emotional insight into yourself and your reactions to certain events, there isn't too much to report to you this week. You feel a little bit on the good side. No bad hair days this week, at least, you're not supposed to have any. Of course, with no bad things happening, you might generate a few of your own, just for the sake of amusement.

Sagittarius: Well, the almighty pressure is off, if only for a little while. I still remember, back in Nov. 1995, when Pluto hit Sagittarius first. I did a half dozen readings, and the first four were early degree of Sagittarius. The predominant theme then, as it is now, is relationships, only you are now heading into the healing aspect of the planets. I sure hope things are getting better for you.

Capricorn: The good news is that you are in wonderful spirits. The bad news is that you seem to be out of step with the rest of the world. In other words, as good as you feel, not everyone seems to appreciate your cheery manner this week. don't let them get you down, whoever "them" is, but remember: not everyone likes a cheerful morning person.

Aquarius: Relationship problems seem to be flaring up this week. Just when you thought you had put all that romantic stuff to rest, here it is again, all over. Not much we can do about it, is there? I wish I had some epic words of advice, but here's Helena from Midsummer's Night's Dream "Love looks not with the eyes but with the mind." (I.i.234-235) Remember that as you go forth this week.

Pisces: Relax a little. This is the quiet before the storm. There looks like there have been some problems at work, and this situation is not getting any better. It will improve over time, but this week is not a good week to assert yourself too loudly. If you do so, it will likely as not fall on apparently deaf ears. If I can convince you to, just hold off for a little while. You time will come. But you knew that already.

Week of: June 10 - 16

"Draw your neck out of you collar."
In Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet (I.i.4)

Aries: Many people cringe where they hear the word "karma" as if there is always something bad that's going to happen. In FGS terminology, karma refers to past lives with ex-wives and other sundry affairs which need to be cleaned up. Then there are also the rewards of hard work. You get to reap what you have sown, or, in more common language, think nice things and good things happen. what's that New Orlean's expression, the French one?

Taurus: The last of the dynamic duo heads out of your sign, and this leaves you feeling a little peckish. In fact, this would be good time to cozy up to a nice, neat Virgo for some action. That doesn't necessarily imply romance, but a partnership of some kind is in the wind, with a Virgo, later this week. Make sure the house is clean.

Gemini: Five star line up this week as Mercury, that impetuous ruler of yours, Mars, Venus, the Sun and the Moon all weave their way into your sign. Too bad Venus is still acting like an errant child, too, so romance doesn't hit full force -- at least, not yet. But you are getting wound up tight as can be, and things are looking up. You are really, really active right now. The New Moon is a great time to begin some new endeavor. Just watch the romance right now.

Cancer: Your money tree looks like it will bare fruit. That's the good news. It doesn't look like this harvest will come too soon, though, and you need to be aware of that. Relationships, especially of the romantic variety, seem to be a bit on edge lately, as if some one has irritated a sore a spot. Sorry about that. Just remember: in an outboard motor, there is a proper mixture of oil and gas to make the engine run smoothly. Make sure you have the right amount of oil to make the relationship motor run well.

Leo: The week starts out on an emotionally upbeat note. That's the good news. But by the end of the week, there are these little fears, not the big ones,mind you, just the little ones which all come crawling into your mind. I'm not a therapist, nor do I play one of TV, but some sort of self-help direction wouldn't be too bad, if nothing else, just to relieve yourself of these needless fears. And I won't tell anyone that a Leo might have some fear.

Virgo: Everybody else is having a tough go of it, and why should you be any different? At least, that should be your perspective for this week. In fact, just to address this specifically, have you ever thought about cleaning out the tackle box? Get all those nasty pieces of bait which have mutated into a new life form out of there? Straighten up around your workplace, too, because you are going to need a sense of order going into the weekend.

Libra: I've been accused of picking on Libra's because they can be so indecisive. It's that Scales and Balance thing, you know, the Libra ability to see everything from both sides. The deal is this: this week, you have a certain decisive quality about you, rather than an indecisive quality. Good week to fish or cut bait, as that proverbial expression goes, because you will find that your mind is razor sharp, and you can make quick (and accurate) decisions.

Scorpio: This week, the Scorpio tendency not to change is a good thing. There will be some unexpected events which will try to knock your off your path to destiny. Don't let the little guys get in your way right now. These events can be minor distractions, or they can be major occurrences which really shake you. Of course, after what you've been through already, nothing can be that serious, right?

Sagittarius: There is a great change going right now. And you are part of the leadership material for the next millennium. Good news. "Bad news?" you Sagittarius's ask. Sometimes we try to hold onto our home life a little too much. Relax and be a bit more carefree. Life is going to be good. And the planetary influence right now is merely asking for a change, not demanding it.

Capricorn: How's dream land, dear Capricorn friend? Hope all is well out there. You have all the drive and ability to achieve those things you want this week. Don't let aspirations which fall a little short of perfect get you down. There is a tendency, especially this week, to let a dream fade away because the harsh real world isn't as pretty as the picture you held in your head. You have to be willing to strive for the perfection. Kind of sounds like Virgo thing, doesn't it?

Aquarius: "He was like an exchange student from Uranus." is what Mick says in Michael Bishop's book, Count Geiger Blues. Sort of hits you in real big way this week because you feel a little at odds with the world. There is all kinds of good energy flowing your way, good car karma this week, good ability to communicate, good just about everything. And that's why you feel like you are on another planet. Like Mick says.

Pisces: I wouldn't say that it was going to a be a challenging week, but there have been better times. Fortunately, for you, you have such an ebullient attitude these days that none of this mess will get you down. There you go, all week long, merrily making your way through the world while it seems like everyone else is turning to you with their problems. Help where you can, but I was strongly advise against any new self-help projects this week for you.

Week of: May 27 - June 2
"Woe upon ye, and all such false professor!"
in Shakespeare's Henry VIII (III.i.114-5)
Mercury goes direct on May 27. Oh joy.

Aries: Other Astrologers might have words of warning, seeing as how the mighty Saturn, Laord of Karma, is traipsing through the early degrees of your sign. While this can be considered a challenge, it also brings certain elements with it -- Karma ain';t always a bad thing, you know -- and there is the tenuous strain of music, a romantic melody, playing on a lute, somewhere in the back of your head. Romance is not yet full in the air, but I would be on the lookout for a new star-crossed fling soon. Or new light on an old relationship.

Taurus: Now that Mercury is completely finished heaping havoc upon you, Mars and Mercury are playing tag. This usually means relationships are brought sharply into focus. Now, which way do you want to go with these relationships? With the searing influence of the Red One (Mars), I would urge you to jump all over that new fling and enjoy it for what it's worth. Just watch your driving and be careful with sharp objects, like when your cleaning fish, making sushi or slicing bait.

Gemini: Venus is doing mean little retro number on you this week. Sorry about that. This means that the new relationship is under pressure. It's not like you haven't already had enough pressure as it is, it's more like a cosmic joke. But I don't guess that you find the humor of the universe very funny this week. If only you would lighten up some, then things wouldn't appear to be so bad. Step back and contemplate just where you are in this relationship. You know you needed some perspective.

Cancer: Work is difficult this week. Romance is difficult this week. You're busy trying to take steps forward but it feels like you have one foot nailed to the floor. Look on the bright side, while you are going around in circles, at least nothing will get stolen because you are nailed down. If I were in your boots, Bubba, I would watch my wallet -- some one wants into it, and I don't think that it is a friendly person.

Leo: Leo. What can a humble Astrologer tell a Leo for this week? Not much. In fact, you probably won't even be reading this week's 'scope because nothing is happening right now. That's it. A lot of nothing. Unless, of course, you allow me to remind you to start gearing up for your birthday party. But even with that bit of information, I still get Leo's who complain because that's all I ever talk about for this sign. So? So enjoy yourself this week.

Virgo: You will find that you have lots of energy this week, and the nasty old retro thing is over. That's the good news. The even better news is that you will also experience a much lighter attitude this week, too. In fact, you will find yourself downright happy a few times. Go ahead, enjoy the glow. Makes the other signs really, really nervous to see a happy Virgo. Let them worry this week.

Libra: Poor old much maligned Libra. I keep promising new and better things coming up, but this week, you seem to be holding onto old baggage a bit too much. Just let go! Sure, and if I knew how that was accomplished, I would write a self help book and make a lot of money. But try letting go of some of the old fears -- you're down with a lot of the inward contemplation stuff. Really.

Scorpio: Well, the troubles are almost over. But it has been a tough haul here lately, now hasn't it? No chance of more work and now the unemployment checks are late. The solution is to not kill the postage person. Just because the check is late doesn't mean that there is some one, some where, plotting to make you miserable. But I bet you've felt like that lately. Bad time for fishing with explosives -- doesn't work and it's against the laws in most states.

Sagittarius: The first of the week is a downer and the last of the week is an upper -- almost like you were getting ready to go out of town, or something. Well, the weekend travel plans look great, if that's in your schedule. If not, then you might want to consider a getaway of some kind. Doesn't hurt to have bag packed, just in case that guy from the Sunday Morning Fishing Show should call you up and ask you to help with a show this weekend. There's just something wrong with a Sagittarius as a Production Assistant -- what is wrong with this picture?

Capricorn: Jupiter is smack dab in the middle of your sign. And Saturn, your ruling planet, is smack dab squaring you. One way or another, you feel like one of those Salmon: Spawn To Death! Well, it was a nice sentiment for a Capricorn. You really liked the swimming upstream part best because that's what it feels like right now. All that money, just waiting to be made, and you can't get your hands on it right now.

Aquarius: You guys, I swear, if there ever was a sign luckier than a Sagittarius, it would have to be an Aquarius, especially right now. Use this new found luck and put it to work. No, here at FGS World Headquarters, we don't endorse gambling, but this would be a good week for you to buy a lottery ticket. If you do win, you could always donate a mere one-tenth to your astrologer. He would be ever so grateful.

Pisces : The love which was in the air, sees to have flitted off some where else. Nothing we can do about that. Sorry guys, it was just a fling, really. It's okay, sometimes even a Pisces can make a bad judgement call about a relationship. You were supposed to learn something from this romance, and that's a fine sentiment, but what does that really mean? Learn to make better choices about fishing partners next week. There's always another Bass Tournament next weekend. Get out to the lake.

Week of: May 20 - 26

Here's to Mercury:

"If she lives till doomsday she'll burn a week longer than the whole world."
in Shakespeare's The Comedy of Errors (III.ii.97-98)

Aries: Work. School. Work. Nose to the grindstone. More work. Other Peoples' Mistakes at work. These are a few of the themes this week. You will notice that the operative phrase concentrates on a four letter word: work. So? So there is lots of it this week. Go ahead, move and make some more money. You can always blame it on Mercury.

Taurus: Now that all the Taurus birthdays are over, you will think you have taken quite the beating from the stars. Between the fierce energy of Mars and the unsettling effort of Mercury, and then, to top it all off, the Sun itself compounding and amplifying all the problems, well, with all of these elements at work, you need a vacation. Just wait until next week to rest because the stars (and odds) are still against you. Blame it on Mercury.

Gemini: The sun comes strolling on into Gemini, but with that other pesky stuff going on, it isn't too good of a Birthday Week. Doesn't mean that life isn't good this week, but there have been better days, and especially, there have been better birthdays. If you are having problems reading this or understanding what I'm trying to tell you, you can always blame it on Mercury.

Cancer: Despite the problems that other people are encountering this week, you will find your attitude is definitely lighter, you are perhaps happier, and there is hope in your life, and maybe even a spring in your step. Look out, Bubba, the stars are really stacked against you right now. Despite the "new attitude" you should be careful. Blame it on Mercury.

Leo: Well, we're done with that, the little tantrum you threw? I sure hope so because the stars are beginning their annual pilgrimage towards your sign and the Summer Party Bonanza. Don't confirm any plans just yet, though, because there are still some details which should be left up in the air. If people ask about this, just shrug and say, "Blame it on Mercury."

Virgo: The week rolls in with a whimper and you seem to be taking this Mercury thing way to seriously. Then, as life changes, it all gets better. Like, in the middle of the week as the Moon shifts into your sign. Then there is a distinct climatic change in your attitude. Of course, everyone around you will remain sour but that's just so you can blame it on Mercury.

Libra: The problem with being a Libra is that you can usually, if not always, see both sides of a difficult situation. As an example, Libra's a great when it comes to arguing both sides of problem. Often as not, the Libra doesn't need an opponent. Can be quite convenient. The problem is that all the headway you have made lately seems to be headed down the proverbial tubes. What's the answer? Blame it on Mercury.

Scorpio: Using your razor-like eye for detail (it's a metaphor, Bubba), you have uncovered some great truth, hidden deep within you own inner resources. What's that mean to real folk? You figured something out, a puzzle in your life. Or maybe it was the jigsaw puzzle with the missing piece and you found the missing piece. You are a hero this week. All that limelight -- blame it on Mercury.

Sagittarius: some of the vague rumblings and ratings which have been plaguing you for the last few months will now, thankfully enough, shut up. Doesn't mean that the problem goes away, or that the problem is solved. No, that's negative by any stretch of the imagination. But the problems are buried, if only for a little while. When they resurface, you can blame it on Mercury.

Capricorn: Unlike some other signs who are too flaky to mention, Capricorns are never going to be accused of engaging in a dream like trance for hours on end. Well, not usually, anyway. Perhaps you've been more contemplative this week, more inward directed. Maybe you've been caught staring out the window, transfixed with a minute detail in the far distance. Maybe you just didn't get enough sleep the night before. Whatever the case, you can always blame it on Mercury.

Aquarius: There always seems like there is just one Aquarius out there who is fighting against all odds, on lone character who is carrying the banner forward, trying desperately to move ahead with his or her agenda while facing insurmountable odds. Does this feel like you this week? If so, you can always blame it on Mercury.

Pisces: You know, there is some rule that says that "anything which begins well-ends badly." I don't want to sound like the eternal pessimist, but that relationship you were just entertaining, the lovely little thoughts of marriage, the little white house with a picket fence, two cats frolicking on the front lawn, well, all of that is going up in smoke this week. Doesn't mean the end of the world, just one more dashed dream. I warned you first. Blame it on Mercury.

Week of: May 6 - May 12
It's another Monday the Thirteenth. Not a happy day at all, now is it? Of course, the wisdom about Monday the Thirteenth is not derived from usual sources. No, I first learned about this horrible freak of nature through the comics. And my life, and now yours, will never be the same.

Aries : This week starts out with you actually willing to sit and listen to some one pour his or her heart out for a while. You have sympathy. You care. Your normal rash response is taken in a much different format as you display kindness and compassion. Then the week gets to you, and this kindly attitude goes away. But there, for one albeit brief and shining moment, we all thought that the Aries was a new a different person. Surprise, the old you is back by Friday.

Taurus : Well, there are still a couple of planets really stirring up the stew in Taurus this week. Mars, the odd god of War, sometimes called the little red one, is activating a good deal of positive Taurus energy this week. And Retrograde Mercury, the odd god of lost mail, is still spinning backwards and making life that much worse. So what will it be? New car? Lost papers? Flip the coin and pray for the best. In the meantime, it would be wise to double check all your work. I don't think you are quite ready for the new car.

Gemini : I told you about the cruel joke the heavens are playing on you -- the Mercury in Taurus, Venus in Gemini deal. Well, these feelings of being split, just like the classic Gemini archetype, really fit. Don't know which way to go? Go fishing or draw small stars? Whatever you do, don't panic, because such an action will avail you naught. The hardest thing for you to do this week is to keep from spinning in circles like a top. And talk about feeling like one of the twins this week!

Cancer : I know you feel like this is a bad week. Well, maybe it is. Perhaps it's just a Cancer thing, too, with you being all moody and depressed. Look on the bright side, other signs are suffering more than you. Go and read what it says for Gemini this week, and that should make you feel better. Of course, all that Gemini misdirection might confuse you, too, so think about reading Capricorn as well. Oh those silly planets.

Leo : Every once in a long time, there is a good. Every once in a much longer time, there is a series of good days. As long as you are getting over the trauma and avoiding conflict, you will find that this can be a most excellent week. The changes which didn't work last week are bound to take effect next week. Now that you know that, you can rest easy, even act a little smug.

Virgo : Still reeling in the romance? That scenario is going okay? There is one thing that I should warn you, since this looks a fairly new romance for you: When you start a new project (romance is a project) under the auspices of Mercury being backwards, there is usually a short lived nature to it. As long as you make adjustments for the ephemeral quality of this new project, you will find that, contrary to what other folks are saying, the romance is proceeding smoothly.

Libra : There is some interesting energy which is forcing a few things to the top for you lucky Libra's. Some projects left over from some time ago has recently come to fruition. Now, you have to turn your attention elsewhere because you complete one of the goals. What's next? A little well-deserved rest and relaxation would be a good idea.

Scorpio : There's an axiom from Cowboy Country which is more than appropriate for you Scorpio's this week, "It's easier getting on the bull than getting off the bull." For those of you who really don't get the analogy, well, perhaps you had better just stay in bed this week. Actually, though, it will a be a good week as long as you remember what part of the bull is the business end.

Sagittarius : I guess that you have found this to be a most unsettling period of time, and there is nothing that I can say or do that will rectify this feeling which are experiencing. Occasionally, times are tough. Other Astrologers will tell you that this is a good time to make money. The only thing I would spend any money on this week is a kindly Astrologer. Like myself.

Capricorn : Sorry about this one, but it looks like the moodiness has finally set back in. I know I won't win any favorites with THAT prognostication, but realize this: as long as you have moods, you can use them to your advantage. And besides, with all the mood swings, you can get a lot more accomplished than you would if you were out and out angry. Go with the flow this week.

Aquarius : Romantic winds of change are heating up this week. That much is sure. Which way these winds of change blow, that much is unsure. It's hard to p[predict for Aquarius because you guys never know which way you are going to go until the last minute. So? So be prepared for some changes. That's all I can offer this week. Bet you will like the outcome, though.

Pisces : Let me tell you, a Pisces in love is a pretty thing. Really. Those big Piscean eyes turn all goo-goo, and that normal, dream - like trance state you call reality is further heightened by the endorphins resulting from love, well, the image is almost too good to be true. I should just REMIND YOU that Mercury is backwards right now, and this feeling is merely a FEELING and it probably won't last. But do you listen to me?

Week of: Apr. 29- May 5
Mercury Retrograde on Friday the 3rd

Aries [3/23-4/20]: How are things going at the Old Salt Mine these days, dear Aries friend? Bit rough on you? There is some nice energy floating along a little later in the week, and you will find a welcome relief as Mars moves out of your sign. The need to "get it done with it" is over. That Martian urge is relaxed a little as your ruler moves on into a sedate sign, Taurus. Concentrate on "pretty" at work.

Taurus [4/21-5/22]: I'm telling you, you have the best of possible configurations for a birthday this week as Mars makes a grand entrance into your sign. Along with the hot headed planet comes a sense of urgency: birthday parties are going to go "swimmingly" well, if you give it all a chance to unfold according to a cosmic time table. Tired of astrologer riddles? Have party, but find some one else to drive -- that's sound advice.

Gemini [5/23-6/21]: You should be in an enviable position this week -- even better, for the rest of the week, you have a greater appreciation of beauty and art, and you might even like opera. That's where some barrel chested babes belt out songs in a foreign language, you know. This merely highlights what is going on deep within you: communicate those innermost feelings and sense of appreciation this week. It will help you along your diverse paths.

Cancer [6/22-7/22]: Oh dear me. Oh dear. Oh. Relationship woes are on the horizon again, for you, dear Cancer. Sorry about that. You might find yourself examining your romance in terms of how it affects your work performance. Because you are a water sign, too, you have to be careful that you do not allow the work/romance issue to cloud your judgment. Really. Trust me. I am a professional.

Leo [7/23-8/23]: The only problem you Leo's have this week reside in an earlier sign in the zodiac: Taurus. Being a fixed sign also, Taurus tends to think that they are always right. Being a good Leo, you know you are right. But it's their birthday, so ACT like they are right. It's a just a phase of the stars right now, and it won't last for long. Just acquiesces to them, even if you rattles your cage a little.

Virgo [8/24-9/23]: some Virgo's think that I mercilessly pick on them because, as a rule, the sign tends to be too tidy, too neat, and too clean. It's really not true, it just appears that I pick on them. Now, this week, starts out with a good stuff and only gets better. You are fine shape at the beginning of the week, and this fine shape gets better and better as your normally pinched expression turns into a wide grin. There is much for Virgo's to smile about this week.

Libra [9/24-10/23]: Poor old Libra, always the stalwart in the face of adversity! Well, things are looking up. So I hope. Maybe. Just a little. There are those annoying loose ends which need to be tied up this week, and the romance department needs a little attention. But other than that, things ought to be pretty good. Really. Well, sort of. I dislike sounding like I'm hedging a little, but after the last round of email from Libra's, I'm hesitant to say anything definitive. Sort of.

Scorpio [10/24-11/23]: Maybe it's because I have, on occasion, been romantically linked with a Scorpio that makes me sensitive to their needs. Maybe it's because my own, dear sweet mother is a Scorpio is why I am sensitive to their needs. Maybe it's because I read all the painful email from Scorpio's that makes me sensitive to their needs. Or maybe it's JUST IN THE STARS, but you guys really need to lighten up a little this week. Relax. Chill out. Quit thinking about it. And don't call me, fax me, or email. At all. (Bubba's fax line is always open because the fax machine drinks truckstop coffee: 512/448-0970)

Sagittarius [11/24-12/21]: As a good Sagittarius, let me tell you: the last week wasn't that great. And things start out this week not looking that good, either. But wait, there's more. Much, much more! As the week draws to a close, there is a sudden change in attitude. No, there are no major events which are going to change you, but your way of looking at things gets much better. A little adjustment in attitude, as were. Fishing looks good this weekend.

Capricorn [12/22-1/20]: Poor old tired and abused Capricorn! Seems like everyone is picking on you this week. If it's not in the toilet at work, then it's your home life which seems to have disappeared down the proverbial drain. I warned you, didn't I? About the "too good to be true, get rich schemes"? Did you listen? Time to t take a break and figure out how to pull this one together -- I know you can.

Aquarius [1/21-2/18]: Ever work with cattle? Ever feel like you work with a people who behave like a herd? You might benefit from realizing that it's always possible to get the herd to move in a particular direction, like a cattle drive, but the cows themselves are probably not going to understand what all the fuss is about. Remember this as the week unfolds -- you might have problems educating a few people along the way.

Pisces [2/19-3/22]: After what you've been through, I would hate to even suggest that wedding was in order, but you will find that the idea of a wedding intrigues you. What would be even more intriguing is if it were YOUR wedding. Think about that one for a moment or two. Now consider this, dear Pisces friend, you are face to face with a situation which could lead to trip down the aisle. Do you dare take that first step?

Week of: Apr. 22-28
"In 1880, 40 thousand tons of steel barbed wire were sold to Texas cattlemen."
(page 108 of "At Least 1836 you ought to know about Texas)

There is still a little collateral damage from the last of the celestial events which have occured on a Aries/Libra axis. Been a fun time for them. That, and all the love planets are really stirring up the old spring time feelings, too. But you might be feeling a little hemmed in, and hence the statistic about Bob Wire. If you know any good quotes from American authors about statistics, let me know.

Aries [3/23-4/20]: Dear Aries friend. Dear Aries. Oh Dear. Mars is leaving shortly and with it is its imprint: a hot, war-like attitude which goes with just about everything you touch. The good news beyond this fiery disposition is that you can get a lot done, that is, get many thing accomplished with this energy. Saturn is snuggling in for a couple of years, too, so get used to the idea that good karma is coming around for you.

Taurus [4/21-5/22]: It's birthday time for the mighty Bull of the zodiac. Don't forget that in FGS Astrology, the sign of the Bull is always associated with Venus that planet of good taste (and all things that taste good). Get ready for the big birthday thing since you will find that you are a tad more flighty this week. What with all the birthday stuff coming, there will feel like there is never enough time to get everything ready! Relax and try a Leo move: party on!

Gemini [5/23-6/21]: Well, dear Gemini, looks as if you are the down side of long a downhill run, and it doesn't feel like this one has been too much fun, either. The good to better news is that you are poised for some better things to happen, just about any day now. Do the Gemini thing, keep light on your feet and be ready to move off in a new direction at a moment's notice. You have got interesting, and what should be good, changes right around the corner.

Cancer [6/22-7/22]: Oh no, you Cancer types are going to begin to hate me. I can feel it already. You start this persistent whining like a main bearing in an outboard motor just about to cease all functions, and this whining just starts to build to a tremendous roar. The idea that you are slowly, ineffably, moving your career ahead is the notion I want you to work with. The facts are this: you must work long and hard hours in order to achieve what you want right now. The better news is that you can do this thing. Just don't whine to me about work.

Leo [7/23-8/23]: I was sitting on airplane, just the other day, with a Leo. No complaints here. All I could think about,m though, was how bad it has been for Leo, that grand old sign, and how nice it is starting to be. Yes. The party season is just around the corner. You like the summer time weather -- after all, the Sun is your ruler, so you stars couldn't be getting much better. You've just come down from a month long party time, and you are looking at doing it again. I would suggest that you consider setting aside some time for boat maintenance right now, though. Just as a thought.

Virgo [8/24-9/23]: Talk about a week that starts out weak, but has a strong finish to it! Sounds more like a wine. Or whine, as the case may be. Beauty is highlighted this week, along with the concomitant problems of your exquisite taste and judgment. Oh where oh where does it say "judge no lest you be judged"? because that expression really applies this week. Remember, dear Virgo, I did warn you.

Libra [9/24-10/23]: Well, dear Libra, there are just a few minor transits going on right now. Mostly these little movements involve a few minor asteroids so I wouldn't worry about things too much except that these minor asteroids seem to concentrate your ability too worry. So you are a little more high strung than usual. It's not really a problem, just an observation. Delivering this message to a Libra, though, I feel a lot like that poor character who gets beaten by Cleopatra.

Scorpio [10/24-11/23]: Well, dear Scorpio, it's your half birthday, or something close to that. To exacerbate matters, there is a single asteroid floating through your sign which will make behave a lot like a Virgo. Scorpio with Virgo over tones -- it's not a pretty sight. The news that I have, as we approach your half birthday is that you are going into a period of time often referred to as a "slump." I wouldn't worry about it too much -- you emerge on the far side of this "slump" thing as a better person with a more sensible attitude. We just got to get you there, first.

Sagittarius [11/24-12/21]: At the risk of alienating three quarters of the readers -- there's a particular archetype which I refer to as an "Earth Muffin" -- big hips, hairy legs, sandal wearing, tree hugging women. I've had a crush on one or two, so this is by no means a pejorative description. And this so called "Earth Muffin" energy is waxing and waning it's way through the happy archer right now. You might be tempted to settle down. Thing twice, that's all I ask.

Capricorn [12/22-1/20]: There's a planet called Jupiter, who rules Sagittarius, and who works like a cattle prod: 20,000 volts of energy which is sometimes misdirected. Some one came along and juiced you good with the cattle prod. Especially this week. Now, if you can make up your minded on a direction, pick a place to go, you will feel much better. You've got the drive and the stamina, you just need to render a decision. Good luck. Send me a post card from the edge.

Aquarius [1/21-2/18]: I like you fixed air types because you are the utmost in being unpredictable. I say one thing, and you do something else, just to spite me, spite the world at large, and perhaps even tempt fate. Well, Fate (it's actually a town in Rockwall County, Texas) is woven by three spinster sisters, and they are all having one heck of a a time with your fate these days. It just doesn't want to follow any sensible pattern. Sorry, but there is nothing I can do about it, either. You are experiencing gale force winds of change, and this is merely the beginning. Furl the sails and get ready for some heavy weather.

Pisces [2/19-3/22]: After what you've been through, I bet you are one happy camper right now. Making wedding plans? I would hope so. Things just look really, really good for you. Of course, I'm going to assume that you did your homework last winter. You remember when I assigned that reading? No? Better get after it, there will be a test soon.

Week of: Apr. 15-21

Aries [3/23-4/20]: The significant events in your life, and the stuff (or things or fame and fortune) that you have all wanted now lays firmly within your greedy little grasp. If you really want it, now's the time to go for it. Right now. Do it. Go for it. Grab the brass ring. In case you don't understand that last one, the Universe (or whatever belief system you've got) is conspiring to make your life one long, hard day at the office. The upside is that you reap a reward from hard work.

Taurus [4/21-5/22]: This week will find you a lot more animated than ever before. In fact, you will appear to be so animated, some of your friends won't want to sit in a fishing boat with you, at least, not for long. Be careful that you don't find yourself over-acting when you should just sit down, shut up and fish. When you're bait is in the water, it is a good time to be contemplative and reflective, not running your over-active mouth. Get the hint?

Gemini [5/23-6/21]: The week starts out with a cool angle between Venus, the Goddess of Love, and Pallas, the feminist asteroid of quick and insightful thinking. And what does this mean? If you can, this is a good week to take a serious look at making an investment in the art marketplace. In fact, if you are really interested, I happen to know where you can get some special black velvet painting: Jesus, Elvis and Willie Nelson, the Holy Trinity -- all on one painting. Really. Special deal. Remember, it's not just artwork to enjoy, it's also an investment.

Cancer [6/22-7/22]: I sure hope you overhauled the outboard motor last week. I really do. And charged up the battery for the trolling motor, too, because we are definitely going to need it this weekend. It's time to go trolling. There's a special sweet spot, just under the willows along the northern edge of the lake, I'll show you. We can catch our limit in no time, then take the rest of the day off. Make sure you are ready for the fishing party!

Leo [7/23-8/23]: Is the divorce final yet? Actually, I guess I should back up and start at the beginning... have you started the proceedings for a divorce? Thought about them? Maybe this isn't affecting your love life, but you might find that there is trouble in paradise in respect to a business dealing. If you went halvers on a boat, you might find yourself in a deep trouble because you are going to be "discussing at the top of your lungs" where the boat should go, and whose weekend it is. If you follow my advice, you'll bail out of the partnership.

Virgo [8/24-9/23]: The wedding notion seizes you again this week, and you get even more emotional about it. Sorry about that. You just feel like you should be married right now, and the one thing I would definitely caution you about is making unwise decisions regarding mates. Be wary of "love at first sight" which might be "lust at first sight" which might really turn out to be "disgust at first sight" because that's what the object of your attention will do to you in the long run.

Libra [9/24-10/23]: Go back and read Virgo for this week, so I don't have to copy and paste everything all over again. Basically, this is the message: careful with the romantic relationship questions right now. You are gazing deeply into your own navel, trying figure yourself out, and that should be work enough. Trying to make heads or tales out of some one else's life is just plan foolish. Like I said, check with a Virgo, first.

Scorpio [10/24-11/23]: I've been accused of picking on Scorpio's. But what other sign would be a more apt sign for a little SARCASTIC humor? You realize, and this idea is certainly highlighted this week, that most Scorpio's (I know you are different) have this intense look, and burning stare which melts mere mortals. It looks like you know something. The problem you came face to face with this week is that maybe you don't actually know anything. Someone might be stupid enough to call your bluff.

Sagittarius [11/24-12/21]: This week starts off with a remarkable interest in home and taking care of the homestead, and the week finishes up with you doing something really productive like fixing the riding mower so your significant other (wife, spouse, whatever) can finish mowing the back 40. In other words, probably no fishing this week. That's the bad news. You do, however, manage to clean up a few loose ends around the house.

Capricorn [12/22-1/20]: By now, the good fortune has passed by the Christmas babies, but the later degrees of Capricorn are start to reel a little bit from the effects of Jupiter. To make matters worse, we had a Capricorn moon this week, and you know what that does to you.... Anyway, the pressure is beginning to lessen, if only by a degree, but knocking a stringed instrument out of tune can be unpleasant. What will it be, dear Capricorn?

Aquarius [1/21-2/18]: I would never think about sending anything too highbrow past you guys, but some of the repartee from Shakespeare's Much Ado About Nothing would really, really fit. I was considering some of the opening salvo between Benedict and Beatrice. "She is too low for high praise, to brown for fair praise, and too little for great praise." (I.i.164-6). Get the hint, Bubba? Honeymoon is over, and the new has worn off the boat. Did you make a good decision, or what?

Pisces [2/19-3/22]: The stars have been treating poor, old hapless Pisces with a cruel turn every day for what seems like an eternity. The best of possible news is here: the good times are right ahead, and you are set to enjoy them. Although it is against my nature to wax romantic or happy about an upcoming situation, you are definitely headed in a direction this week which will yield many happy moments. I would appreciate a wedding invitation. I'll decline, of course, but the invite would be nice.

    Week of: Apr. 8-14

    Aries [3/23-4/20]: You know Easter always signifies a pleasant kind of rebirth process, and the spring time, along with Spring Break, signifies a change a in the seasons when one can experience growth and life, and all that good stuff. It also means that it is time to make sure all the fishing gear is is in place and that you have a current fishing license. Just a friendly reminder because you don't want unwarranted visits from a game warden this week.

    Taurus [4/21-5/22]: You get lit up by good old Mr. Mercury this week. While most Taurus types are accused of being slow, this small planet whips you into a high degree of mental activity -- your mind will literally be racing from point to point, and most of your friends and acquaintances will wonder where the energy is coming from. Don't be too surprised if there is talk of checking your caffeine intake, or someone wants to look through your medicine cabinet because of all your activity. Tell them all to get over it -- you are just a little mercurial right now.

    Gemini [5/23-6/21]: You are going into a phase when it would help you to learn to be a little more passive. Not passive aggressive, but this week is one in which inner discipline like mediation is a good idea. Venus brings her calm and benevolent influence to you this week so use it wisely -- contemplation (not normally one of your better traits) is highlighted as a possible avenue for you. I would suggest a strong cup of coffee and a prolonged morning session with the comics because spiritual enlightenment can always be found in the funny papers.

    Cancer [6/22-7/22]: Work is heating up and romantic relationships are cooling down. Or rather, work is going well, but the romance department has left you a little confused. That's the problem with romantic relationships: some part of the equation never, ever equal;s the other part. Balance in romance is what you are looking for this week, and, sad to say, it ain't happening this week, either. Shoulder on through workload.

    Leo [7/23-8/23]: It looks like just about everyone else is having a difficult go of this week, but for you Leo types out there, well, it's a good time to party on. Unless, of course, you live in either Washington D.C., or Harris County. In those two extremes, I would exercise a high degree of caution. But the rest of you guys? It's going to be a good week.

    Virgo [8/24-9/23]: If you have suddenly noticed a ringing in your head, it isn't something a doctor can do anything about: it's wedding bells. No, that doesn't mean that you are going to take the plunge (if you haven't already), it just means that this is a thought which seems to occupy your central brain thinking unit this week. In a big way, romance and relationships are occupying a lot of what you are thinking about.

    Libra [9/24-10/23]: Relationships, especially of the romantic variety, are under close scrutiny this week. Looks like your significant other is taking a long and hard look at you. On a brighter note, there is movement afoot at work which should bring you some reward. I would be careful, though, of any type of multi-level marketing scheme which seems to be too good to be true. It probably is.

    Scorpio [10/24-11/23]: Scorpio's are renowned far and wide for their sexual proclivities and the inherent intensity of their sign. The problem you face this week is that the inherent proclivity seems to have taken a vacation. In other words, despite everything being wonderful and rosy, you are acting a bit like a Virgo. Get over your silly self and quit taking things so seriously.

    Sagittarius [11/24-12/21]: "Fly! Be Free! Splat!" That little ditty just about sums up what your week is like -- you have an urge towards freedom, a giant desire to run away, and every time you try to take off -- splat! You land face first. Fortunately, you are a Sagittarius, and as such, you always manage to make it look good. The splat, that i s, you manage to make it look good, almost like you panned it that way.

    Capricorn [12/22-1/20]: Well, it has started, finally. About three, maybe four years ago, you started building towards this moment, and it has finally gotten here. So much for the good news. Now, you must be ready to capitalize on the events which are taking place, even as you read thus, events which will help propel you forward in the work place. That's the good news. And, of course, there is the ever-present influence of Jupiter's benevolent influence, too, just making your picture a little more rosy than most. And who was it who suggested that I was never nice to Capricorn's?

    Aquarius [1/21-2/18]: There are some fundamental changes occurring deep within your psyche, and these changes will probably be reflected in your actions and wardrobe choices this week. Be careful about what you wear: I realize that is a tacky suggestion to an Aquarius, but there you have it: your choice in attire is changing drastically and you don't want to get too far ahead of the crowd.

    Pisces [2/19-3/22]: Love is in the air, and you have reverted to a state where you are most happy: dream land. This is a good thing for you. Life has never been better, and you will notice that the spring growth is prettier than usual, and you feel better than usual. In fact, I would look for some windfall profit this week, too, just to be on the safe side.

Week of: Apr. 1-7

Aries [3/23-4/20]: This is it, dear Aries friend, the penultimate moment before Saturn makes a grand entrance into your sign. What does this mean? It means it's a Good Friday! And Work! Lots of it! You already are feeling the beneficial effects of your ruler resting in your sign, the almighty red one: Mars. What does the next year hold in store for you? More work! That's right, and there will also be a lot of travel associated with this work thing. Enjoy the ride, and have a great birthday. In fact, you might want to start the parties now...

Taurus [4/21-5/22]: Have you noticed, despite the calming influence of Venus being Taurus, you have encountered some difficult moments? There seems to be a degree of consternation as you muddle along. Best bets would include reclining postures, carbonated beverages, muted colors and soft music. Relax a little. Don't worry about the work situation which has made you so uncomfortable recently. Relax some more and let the stress ease its way out of your body.... trust me, I am a professional.

Gemini [5/23-6/21]: Oh boy, oh boy. This is a good time for you. At least, I hope it is a good time for you. Dust off them rose colored glasses because you are going to be needing them throughout the next couple of week, but this idea is particularly highlighted this week. Everything just seems to glow with a new, spring-like sheen. If you can see auras, then you will notices everything seems to shimmer and glow right now. You can detect beauty where ever you turn your attention. Should be good, huh?

Cancer [6/22-7/22]: Watch the pie in the sky money making schemes right now. In fact, consider getting a reading from a qualified fishing guide, as need be. What you're looking at right now is a time to move ahead with your professional credentials. Add to your resume or portfolio. Now would also be a good time to consider making some moves in the stock market arena. Just be careful that you don't make any buys based upon strictly visceral attitudes. Do your homework; research that stock buy first!

Leo [7/23-8/23]: I would never, ever suggest that a Leo would be a dull person, but you will note that you will enjoy a greater than average ability to discern problems and see matters more clearly in this next week. That's right, your intuition is spot on, and your ability to navigate through an otherwise foggy surroundings is heightened. Enjoy this insight while you've got it. Leo's in Houston are, of course, exempt from all prognostications.

Virgo [8/24-9/23]: Talk about some one who feels like they are in love! Or need to be in love. Well, it's bound to be one of those feelings for you this week. The week starts out on a positive emotional swing, but given your typically Virgo sensibilities, you can see right through the happy fog and get to the bottom line. Still, it is a good time for you and your relationships, either romantic or otherwise. I'll bet you stay happy most of the week, almost as if a lucky star is shining on you right now. It isn't but that doesn't matter, now does it?

Libra [9/24-10/23]: I guess we're still playing with the relationship stuff this again, aren't you? Still wondering about that "significant other" and what is going on with them? I wish I had more or better news, but alas, I don't. Just keep putting one foot in front of the next, especially over the next few days. You are on a roller coaster ride which will end up beneficial, but you emotions might lead you astray later in the week. Try and maintain a sense of balance.

Scorpio [10/24-11/23]: I guess we're looking at a veritable plethora of bovine byproduct this week! And it will probably hit the fan, too. In plain English, look forward to a time of great mental clarity but insubstantial physical reality to back up those things which you know are true. In fact, this would be a good week to trust no one, especially what some flaky astrologer person says. Your own insight and judgment is sound so be prepared to stand your ground.

Sagittarius [11/24-12/21]: Hug a tree today. The "feminist asteroid" which is characterized by the "big-hipped, hairy legged, tree hugging, sandal wearing, leaflet toting Earth Muffin" is in your sign. You feel like settling down this week, being domesticated like cattle, and searching for that dream of a little house with a white picket fence, a dog in the yard, 2.3 children, and so on. Face some reality here, Sagittarius, it won't work. You've got wings on your feet, but those wings have been clipped recently. Don't worry, your ability to fly will return.

Capricorn [12/22-1/20]: Right now, you should feel like someone has jumped all over you and given you twenty three odd things to get accomplished. All before noon. Will you make it? Of course, because if you can get some of this stuff done, you can make a fistful of dollars, and, for almost every Cappy we know and love, a fistful of earned income is a good thing.

Aquarius [1/21-2/18]: You realize, of course, that week starts out with another one of those "bangs" which usually indicates a problem has erupted--like a dormant volcano which is no longer dormant. Best bet for dealing with this week? Surf that hot lava! Am I crazy? Maybe, but you might find a good way to deal with rising vicissitudes of life is grab a surf board and some appropriate beach apparel and head on done towards the waves. Me? I would grab a fishing boat, but we all know that I'm a little different.

Pisces [2/19-3/22]: "By all means marry. If you get a good wife you will become happy „ and if you get a bad one you will become a philosopher," Socrates said that. It sure feels like it applies this week, now doesn't it? Tired of the same old message? Well how about turning all your attention to this romance and relationship stuff now. It's okay, dear Pisces friend, you can go back to your dreaming now. The world is a better place just because you're in it. Thanks!

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