Week of: 11/23-29

Aries : It's not a bad week, really, just because Mercury is doing a little retrograde number doesn't make everything miserable. In fact, it's one of those times when the lakes are beginning to ice up in the Frozen North (that would be the land past the Red River), and the ice fisher people are starting to look over their important equipment, and considering where to erect huts on the vast expanses of ice. I can't imagine fishing for frozen fish, I'd just go to the grocery store, but you get the idea. And this week, you're going to feel like you're fishing for frozen fish, too.

Taurus : Black Friday is approaching, and I can't tell you that this might not be a good time to engage in the shopping spree that everyone else is going to be entering into come Friday. It just isn't in your own best interest to get out there with the teeming masses and make big retail decisions. WE all know that you've got exquisite good taste. It's just one of those weeks when you should plead that "ate too much turkey" on Thanksgiving, and not worry about it all. You'll get you chance, coming up in a week or so, but this week, lay low after the traditional American "Big Feed".

Gemini : There's a creeping, sneaking, suspicious side to you that is going to get stronger and stronger as the week goes by. You will find that you are looking over your shoulder, expecting the worst, as the week goes by. There, lurking behind every fence post, in the shadows of your mind, or the shadows in the real world, you keep thinking that you are seeing people with cameras, and that lapel button a friend a is wearing, is it really a microphone? Or is that beeper really a TV camera and you're going to be on some news magazine tabloid talk show? This week, just because you feel like an extra for a conspiracy movie, doesn't mean that some one isn't out to get you.

Cancer : New and unusual is the operative idea this week. Unique comes to mind. It reminds me a Thanksgiving repast once enjoyed by my family -- I eschewed conventional tradition and ordered the delightful Tuna Surprise while everyone else had Turkey. As it turned out, the turkey was bad, but the Tuna thing was excellent. Tuna makes good sushi. Turkey doesn't. And, if your meal becomes a real drag, that sushi makes for some good bait. So think about trying the unusual for a change. Break the mold.

Leo : You have some pretty bizarre influences hitting you this week. That's the bad news. The good news is that these influences are all beneficial. At least, they are supposed to be. There's a strong suggestion in your chart this week that there is going to be a romantic event occurring, and when I say "event" I mean it in a good way, if you know what I mean. The holiday celebrations are going to be right up your alley, so to speak.

Virgo : There is some good news floating along right now, and that good news has to do with Mars. He's leaving your sign this week, and that means, in some circles, he's moving into the Virgo Second House. Things are going to heat up and cool off, and then heat up again, just like leftover turkey. So it looks like you've got a good week getting cooked up, now, it's just matter of taking advantage of it. There are some other cooking allegories which could be employed right now, but they all seem to come out about half-baked when compared to how your week is going to go. Yes, it's going to be a good time.

Libra : "And there was much rejoicing" (and partying and general carrying on). What's the good news for Libra? Why is the Libra Trailer Park lit up like it was Christmas Season? Of course! It is the Xmas season! But wait, there's a lot more in store for you lucky Libra types! Mars, that old warrior feller is coming into your sign, and at the same time, he's doing a nice little thing with the Sun who is going into Sagittarius. What's this mean? It means it is party time for you guys. No two ways about it, time to rejoice, shoot out the lights, that sort of thing.

Scorpio : While there is a major party going on elsewhere, please, my fine Scorpio reader, don't despair. There is brief moment when you are the center of some attention this week, and then you need to tend to the home-maker stuff. The good news is that an incipient romance, or romancing an idea, is going to get a good little boost this week. And the big day itself? Thursday looks good, but you'd better plan on spending some time with both your family and your new significant other.

Sagittarius : I know how good you are feeling this week. Believe me, I know. Regrettably, Mercury is back stroking in our sign right now, and that's going to create a little havoc. Travel plans for the holiday are likely to get screwed up. Doesn't mean that there won't be much rejoicing as old friends get back together, it just means that you need to allow a little extra time for the lines at the airport. I can see that parking is going to be a problem for you. My suggestion? Take a cab. Of course, I'd hope that you would give yourself enough time to allow for the snarled traffic, too.

Capricorn : Some astrologers talk about how worrisome Capricorn's are. Or that the sign of the Sea Goat has tendency to be preoccupied with monetary matters. I doubt that. But before Mr. Mars moves into a position that will feel like some one is fixing the roof of the trailer, get ready for a week of much frivolity. Isn't that a good word, "frivolity"? Play some. Exercise the fun muscle in your soul. Tell some jokes. Laugh (Cappy's make the very best comedy folks). Whatever you do, don't take anything too serious this week. And that would include other astrologers.

Aquarius : Interesting little pattern in your sky right now, and this interesting little pattern has to do with RELATIONSHIPS. When the word is all CAPS, you know what it means? Romance. Love. Lyric poetry which evokes fond thoughts, and sometimes, tender actions. I would recommend some of the tender actions this week. It will improve a situation that you're in, and you will certainly feel better. In fact, you will enjoy a certain amount of attention this week, just pay attention to the usual Mercury Retrograde warnings.

Pisces : Usually, I just check some coffee grounds for a reading on Pisces. Tea leaves seem to be more accurate than pedestrian astrology for wonderful Pisces. However, this week, and with what's happening in the sky, it's a good time to actually consult some astrology. Scientific stuff. You've got two objects in your sign right now which mean things are going to be good. One is Jupiter and the other is a little asteroid which will bring a heightened degree of thinking. So think about what you are going to do to make money, and use Jupiter's good fortune. One Roman Poet (Martial) reminds us that we need to make sure we ask Jupiter for lots of stuff. Same applies to Pisces this week.

Week of: 11/16-22

Merc RX.

Aries : As the thin sliver of the moon gets narrower and narrower, as the stars in the cold night twinkle brighter and brighter, and as the nights get longer and longer, and the best thing to do is find someone nice to snuggle up against, you can be relieved that I'm not going to be writing any more poetry.... This is one of those weeks which I've warned you about, and that vain attempt of painting a pretty picture is about as good as it's going to get this week. Want the details? New Moon, almost opposite you. Time to consider the big launch of the new idea. Problems? Only from other people.

Taurus : Gratefully, the mean and nasty Scorpio planets eventually become benign and even benevolent Sagittarius planets in the later part of the week. What's this mean for the sign of the Bull? Things will begin looking up. It could happen as early as Tuesday. Of course, I'd give a few extra days to this prognostication, but about the time you start preparing for the T-Day feast, that weekend before, you'll find that life begins to slip back into place. All due, of course, to some nice Sagittarius astrology.

Gemini : Time to stop and think about the holidays,. one last moment before the big holiday extravaganza coming along. As the weekend approaches, though, one of your more impish sides begins to assert itself. Being a good Gemini, and you know that you are, I would urge you to indulge this little imp which looks like it wants to play some games. Now, as far as the games go, sure chess is a good answer, and it might be intellectually stimulating, but it looks your imp wants to run all over the board and play by Gemini rules. That might not be the best answer. Perhaps pinball is a better solution.

Cancer : It's one of two things this week, either it's an old relationship which comes back to you, or it's a new one which suddenly lands in your lap. Either way, the conflict that relationship material (or energy) inflicts on the gentle and sensitive Cancerian mind and body is going to take a small toll. Looks like it's going to try to take a pound of flesh, too. Fortify yourself, going into the big week, and get ready for another ride of the roller coaster of love. By the way, this is supposed to be good relationship energy, not the other kind.

Leo : "To burn always with that hard, crystal like fire...." I can't remember, but I think it was an English poet who wrote something along those lines. And it is with that crystal like clarity that you will burn this week. It gets better, too: your mind is working overtime, and there is a degree of clear thinking that you have which is unmatched by any other sign in the horoscope this week. The only hassle stems from the fact that no one but a Gemini can keep up with you. And while that's not normally a problem, it can present you with some challenges as the rest of the people out there just fail to see things your way. Persevere, and be prepared to win by the weekend.

Virgo : On Monday morning, Mars and Venus make a nice little pair for you, just as Venus is about to leave Scorpio, and just as Mars is about to leave your sign. This sets up a week a full of interesting and odd bits of romance, still being flung at you from the far corners of the universe. While that might not make a lot of sense, use your good Virgo judgment to make sure that you don't act to hasty when jumping up and down on some new relationship. This doesn't mean you shouldn't give it a whirl, but use a little caution because things which heat up quickly are prone to cooling off quickly, too.

Libra : The beginning of the week seems to move a little slow for you, time-wise, relatively speaking. However, this pace is going to rapidly accelerate as the weekend gets closer. And the idea of starting something new, right now, when everyone else is just wrapping up the loose ends before the holiday might appear to be a bit daunting. However daunting this task may appear to be, it still holds a promise of some extra revenue in time for the Holidays. Remember your astrology fishing guy when your ship arrives!

Scorpio : You know, you know I was trying to figure a way to say this, but I can't get my mouth or keyboard around the right idea. See, it's like this, a little indirection is good right now. This week is the last of the Scorpio time. I know it should be a longer time, but things should be settling down a little right now. That dull roar that's been inside you head for the last few weeks is about to subside. It goes from a dull roar to barely audible buzzing noise. It goes from the sound of hard rain on the tin roof of my tar paper shack to the gentle quiet of the fog, out on the lake. Be careful with that fog, however, because the condensation might clog your special, Scorpio view port.

Sagittarius : Talk about an exciting time! Okay, so we wont talk about an exciting time, not quite yet. But it's just fixin' to be a great time. Late on next Sunday night, Mr. Sun launches himself in Sagittarius. About that time, Miss Venus gets up close and personal with Pluto. This all means that there are good things afoot for Sagittarius, the mighty Archer. The challenge, though, is getting to the weekend when all of this good stuff happens. And Mercury is about to go backwards, so be aware of that. You can face this Mercury Retrograde with your usual, characteristic Sagittarius candor and good humor (hint: you're going to need it).

Capricorn : Pay close attention to minor details this week. In case you're wondering, Mercury goes retrograde in the sign before you, which puts the whole mess in your 12th House, the Pisces House. And your buddy, Saturn, is making a very pejorative angle to Neptune, the planet most often associated with Pisces. Better figure that some Pisces is going to make a big deal in your life in the next week. And while we're looking at it, you might want to consider that this Pisces is able to do one of two things: wreak havoc or hand you a lot of money. Of course, in some circles, handing you a lot of money would be wreaking havoc, but that's a different issue.

Aquarius : Things, as in monetary things, as supposed to be warming up despite the cool weather in the Northern Hemisphere. It's as if, despite what the weather guy says, a warm front has blown into your section of the sky. Things are going to be looking up. For a little exercise this week, I would suggest attending to matters that demand you attention around the house. Or trailer. Whatever. It looks like you've got a few domestic chores which need some attention before you get out and play. Look, next week is going to be really really fun, so attend to those things at home, you know, the ones you've been putting off for a while.

Pisces : I love Pisces, even though, these days, so few of them seem to love me back. And things in general are looking way up. That's the good news. There's one little business detail that you've been avoiding, and it needs attention right now. I can't tell you enough about tending to that one, seemingly insignificant, little business detail. Yes, Mercury is heading down the tubes, but hey, you're a good Pisces and that Mercury stuff won't affect you. At least, it won't affect you too much....

Week of: 11/9-15

Aries : I promised you a break, and here it is. This week, you get a week-long break from drudgery and routine. Now, this can show up in life in a bunch of different ways, and not all of them are pleasant. For your sake, and mine, too, I hope that the break manifest itself a in polite way. And if you aren't given a break this week, then consider taking one of those "personal" days that I hear about from corporate clients. Of course, here at FGS World HQ, everyday is a personal day.

Taurus : "Alas, poor Taurus, I knew 'em well...." Actually, it's really not such a bad week, but with the major load of planets stacked up in Scorpio, you are feeling great opposition from small-minded people this week. Best thing to do? Nothing flippant or too hasty. That could back fire. Perhaps if you were to take a moment to slow down and properly assess the situation, you would find that things aren't so tough. Best be a bit careful with that "relationship situation" that is developing, too. You might want to stop and look before you leap.

Gemini : Good Mr. Mercury, that mercurial planet most often associated with your sign, is making a hasty trip across the sky which opposite from your sign. Is this a good thing? It can be, but you need to hold your cards a little closer to yourself and try to develop a poker face. Before you get excited about a card game, let me explain that this a strange week to be playing poker at that big casino in the sky. Great wins are possible, but, as always, the odds are stacked in favor of the house. The good news is that you are better able to figure those odds right now.

Cancer : There's one minor problem this week, and it looks like it's work-related. Okay, so you don't have a job? Part of the gainfully unemployed sector? Just call yourself a "consultant," that's what I do. Now, for the rest of the hardworking Cancers, your good attitude can get you in trouble with some persnickety boss who has a devoted and possibly maniacal devotion to detail. This person will try to upset your week by pointing to apparent flaws in your carefully constructed plans. To abuse a few of the Bard's words, "imitate the actions of the Leo, and party on."

Leo : Poor Leo! As long as all that stuff is over in the Scorpio corner of the sky, it does you no good. Well, actually, it does do some good, but you are going to feel like everyone is asking just a bit too much of you this week. Of course, being the good Leo that you are, you can take on this extra burden. However, being the good astrology fishing guide that I am, I'd warn you about taking on too much of this load this week. In fact, my best directive to you is to learn to say "no." Folks are just going to be asking you to perform impossible feats this week, and you can practice answering in the negative.

Virgo : In case you were wondering, and I'm sure you weren't, but I'm going to tell you anyway, the original symbol for Mars was the Spear and Shield of that old warrior dude hisself. So much for our weekly lesson in mythology and symbols. Mars is still a main man for you this week, as he traipses through your sign. As the good Virgo that you are, perhaps you need to pay more close attention to some details because during this week, Mars is going to opposite Jupiter. In other words, look out for Sagittarius folks coming along, especially ones with gifts in their hands. Of course, that's a reference to another bit of mythology....

Libra : You've got one thing to look out for this week: rash. Now, most folks would figure that I mean rash actions, as prompted by Mars in Virgo, your solar 12th House. But there is another meaning for this, too, it could be a heat rash. I realize it's kind of hard to imagine a heat rash in the cool fall weather, but there's a definite chance that something rash could break out. Maybe it's just the wool clothing you've gotten out to match the weather.

Scorpio : It's a lovely week in Scorpio Land. In fact, this is a great week. Of course, being the good Scorpio that you are, you are bit worried about "stealth birthday parties" and looking at your chart for this week, this paranoia is well-deserved. There is a hot little romantic number lurking in your corner of the sky, so you had better look out. Use your innate Scorpio sense and make an effort to find out about your Stealth Birthday information, too. Then the biggest challenge will be to act surprised when the Universe delivers you a wonderful birthday gift.

Sagittarius : There's one of those lovely management axioms about life, one that typifies this week, which I'm going to use for you: "Inside every little problem is major problem struggling to get out." Some famous author once quoted that in a writing workshop. I've got it in my notes some place, if I could only find them. Of course, that's the same little problem you're having this week, the material is there. but you just can't seem to find it. Don't let the little problems become big problems this week.

Capricorn : Okay, my fine Capricorn friend, relax. No, don't get too relaxed, but do take a little time off. Not too much time, because in the yonder distance you can hear the beck and call of one minor emergency after another. Of course, the key word here is "minor." There's a famous ballad sung Charlie Daniels about a miner who saves the day, "Big Bad John." You don't have to be like this character in the song, saving every one else but getting sacrificed yourself. As the expression goes, "Don't go there."

Aquarius : After weeks and weeks, nay, even years, of prolonged activity, it's time to chill. Take a load off. Take your boots off. Put your feet up. Of course, this is a hard objective to accomplish in an office setting, but you get the idea. Or the picture. Perhaps a little judicious surfing, perhaps a little idle time spent wasting away with a People Magazine would be good right now. Enough of this high - blown lifestyle of yours. Relax this week and let some one else worry about the details. In fact, you might want to stay home for an extra "personal day" this week.

Pisces : What a wonderful, lovely time you're having. Or you're supposed to be having. What ever. There's one little problem and it has to do with particular individual, you know the one. I mean, other than that one person, your whole life resembles a well-ordered tacklebox: all the right lures are in all the right places. Or they are supposed to be, this week. If that one person is still bothering you, take a break from the usual daily chores and tend to your own tacklebox. You ability to restore order will amaze that one person.

Week of: 11/2-8

Aries : For some reason, the sign of the Ram is associated with being headstrong. I hardly find that to be the case; although, you do have a certain resolute tendency to get the job done. The problem with this week is that Mr. Saturn (remember him?) and Neptune are doing a bit of a planetary dance. And it's not the Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairies, either. Nope, this looks a lot more like a late 1970s punk show, perhaps that famous Sid Vicious at the Longhorn Ballroom in Dallas. You get the idea. Be a little extra careful this week with your own dance partners; you don't want to slam them into the wall; they might wind up mad.

Taurus : There's a funny little bit from Chaucer's Nun's Priest's Tale in the Canterbury Tales. And this little line has to do with Fortune and how she turns suddenly. What's missing from the text is that the Medieval concept of the Wheel of Fortune can turn suddenly up as well as down. You're on that spinning wheel right now, and as much as it feels like a ride at the State Fair of Texas, it's really not. Your life will come to a halt before to long, and you will be allowed to gather up the remains of your gastrointestinal tract, regain your equilibrium, and move on to the next ride. Yes, your personal wheel of fortune, like that old idea, is going to turn suddenly up this week.

Gemini : One astrologer proclaimed this a bad time for Gemini. I hardly think that's the case. It's a good time, you just have to be willing to accept the consequences of your actions. Now, I would never suggest that a Gemini would avoid responsibility, but you are on the way to ducking out of something this week, and that is not the recommended action right now. So pony yourself up to the bargaining table and accept the consequences of some of your actions. Of course, and I wouldn't tell just anyone this, you might find a little reward is in order for you doing what you did. And if this reward is monetary, how about cutting your astrologer fishing buddy in on a little piece of the action?

Cancer : Instead of making an allusion to some arcane bit of Elizabethan Literature, I was humming a song from a movie that will not die, and the way you're feeling right now, you could be any one of a number of characters in this movie. Here's the first hint: "Madness takes its toil...." In fact, the campy movie might actually fit your tastes right now, and it did seem to to have as bit of a revival not long ago. I'm sure it's showing at a theater near you this coming weekend. The problem with this week is you can't figure out if you're one of the audience members, or one of the characters on the screen. Either way, by Saturday, you're going to want to be at the Movie Theater to see the midnight show. Here's a bonus trivia question, what's the name of the town? And where is that town in real life?

Leo : Strange things are afoot in Leo Land this week. You have an ethereal, unnatural glow burning within you. It's you chance to start something big, that the upside here, but the downside is that you faced with opposition from a group of knuckle heads. Lest you think that it was an allusion to a particular brand of motorcycle engine, let me assure you, the knuckle heads in this case are various associates and cohorts at work who are determined to make you brilliant idea fail. Or so it would seem. Now, you and I know that you have this great thing going, and if you're willing to persevere, you'll do okay.

Virgo : Before going into battle, many of the great military leaders of antiquity would invoke the help of Mars, oftentimes referred to as the god of War. And, I suppose, in some of the old mythology stuff, he really is a the god of war. But there's always another side to this thing, and in this case, it's healing side. After all, you are Virgo, and not too many great military leaders were Virgo's, but I do know a lot of great healers who are Virgo. Get the hint? With Mars in your sign, you can do something nice for someone. And that person you might do something nice for this week, well, it might just be yourself.

Libra : There's a fine line between madness and brilliance, and I like what the great poet said, "Great wits are sure to madness alli'd,/And thin partions do their bounds divide;" (John Dryden Absalom and Achitophe, lines 163-4). Why should I worry you about madness? Because some of your associates are going to take one look at some of your ideas this week, and just naturally assume that you have gone over the proverbial edge. Have you flipped? Not a chance. Like I suggested, and as Johnny boy reiterated, there's that fine division between the two, and I'm pretty sure your friends will understand what you're doing, in a week or three. In the meantime, develop a maniac's laugh to answer questions.

Scorpio : I don't care what other astrologers say, it's another fine week in a place called "Scorpio Paradise." In the unlikely event that you haven't figured out what this paradise is, allow me to explain: there are a number of planets, big and small, in the Scorpio sky. At sunset, you can even see Venus, and you've got to know that she brings a lot of romance into your life right now. And by the way, happy birthday to that one special Scorpio, you know who you are. Like I said, romance is a big thing right, so you better enjoy it.

Sagittarius : The problem being that you've got a birthday around the corner. Now, any Sagittarius worth his or her weight in horse parts knows that it's time to get ready. The challenge to this idea of getting ready is that there is a lot of activity in other signs which bode nothing good for you for this week. I'm not saying it's a bad week, just a week that you need to check your activity more than once before you engage yourself in a questionable event. Make sure that you've got all the ammunition that you're going to need before loading up the truck and going hunting. Nothing is worse than spending all day in Deer Blind, getting ready to shoot Bambi's Daddy when your deer rifle goes "click." In other words, don't forget the bullets.

Capricorn : This is a good week to play some. Of course, there is one or two serious minded Capricorn's out there who resolutely insist that playing isn't a natural thing. They are too busy worry about work, and how things look. But even if you are serious minded individual, this is good time to break from the usual routine and get in a little bit of pre-Chrsitmas shopping. Try to beat the crowds. It's a wonderful time for you to exit from the normal routine and get on with some pleasure oriented activities. Sounds like plan, now doesn't it?

Aquarius : Ain't nothing in the world better than a finely tuned Aquarius, running along on Aquarius time. The only problem with your timing, though, this week, is that your time seems to jump around a little bit. You can't seem to decide whether you're on "Fast Forward" or stuck in "Rewind". One great American novelist called this effect "unstuck in time" and if you're familiar with his works, you'll probably agree that it's exactly how you feel. No matter, it's still going to be a good week, even if the rest of the signs out there can't figure out your timing.

Pisces : What an interesting week you've got going! I was perusing the Astrology Fish Chart for this week, and I kept noticing annoying highlights for Pisces. Little things are going to irritate you this week. The other side of this collection of minor irritants is that big things are going to begin to run smoothly. It's like an old truck, the motor is making noise, but that can be solved by adding oil. And who needs AC in the winter time? So some of these minor irritations can just be put off for a while. As long as you remember to make sure there is an adequate supply of oil in the motor, there shouldn't e any big problems this week.

Week of: 9/28 - 10/4

"He uses his folly like a stalking-horse, and under the presentation of that he shoots his wit."
Duke Senior in Shakespeare's As You Like It [Act 5, sc.4, 110]

Aries : "Alas, poor Aries, I knew him well...." I realize that this is a sort of bad take on a line from Hamlet, but it might help set the mood for the week. It "feels" like a dark and foreboding week, one fraught with dangerous and moody overtones. It feels like something bad is about to happen. Nothing could be further from the truth! I promise. Unless, of course, you have a bit of bad luck with officers who take your driving a little too serious. In other words, make sure your hunting license is up to date. And be careful when you throw your truck in reverse.

Taurus : I was reminded of what some folks liked to regard Mr. Saturn as, not long ago, calling him an "old devil." Somehow, the terms Saturn and Satan seemed to get confused. But it's not like this at all, see: Saturn will bring you Taurus types some rewards, you just have to be willing to work for them, and guess what? This week sort of helps with this idea, sort of like getting a sneak preview of what this whole work thing is going to be like. It's going to feel a like Monday, all week long. And the weekend might wind up feeling a like a weak end instead, but you will survive, nay, dare I suggest it? Even triumph.

Gemini : While every other sign is dealing with an earthy imagine, I was going to hail Gemini with a stout, "Ahoy Me Mates" and act like a brave privateer on the Gulf Coast. The good news is that there is some buried treasure about to wash up on your personal beach of life. So much for the good news. The bad news is that this treasure has been buried and it's going to take a gale force storm in order to shift the sands away from your prize. Weather the storm and look for the hidden treasure.

Cancer : Forget all the usual stuff I say about how things aren't too good for the ever-suffering children of the moon. Forget all the things that other folks say about you guys being moody and emotional. Forget all that this week. Here at FGS World HQ, we are, easy now, predicting a good week on your horizon. To be sure, the first part of the week has a few minor irritations, but these are minor, and I don't think getting a little sand in between your toes is really going to slow you down too much. Get ready for a fun weekend coming along.

Leo : There's nothing like a good party to warm the heart of the mighty Lion. And if there isn't a decent party in your neck of the woods this weekend, then make one. A lot of people seem to be mighty unhappy right now, but you don't have to let their misfortune get you down. As always, there's a good time on your horizon, and I don't think that you are going to let the other 11 signs ruin your good time. Mars is still making his merry way through the last little bit of your sign, so you know the rules.....

Virgo : My sweet and ever-put-upon Virgo friend. So much maligned, abused, and put out by this whole mess! I promise that things are starting to go your way, in a big way. Well, maybe I won't promise because it seems like Virgo's all remember everything I ever said, but I do suspect that your week is looking up. It all looks like it has something to do with money, as in there is more of this money. Now, I can't say for sure, but it looks like you have enough money to go out and pamper yourself a bit. Somebody's got to look out for you, and you are the best one.

Libra : The little Libra corner of the sky is really a happening place right now. Lots of stuff is going on there. Venus and Mercury are all around to help you celebrate this Libra time, and there's even an odd little hint from one of those dirt balls in the sky, a lucky little asteroid that rings you continued good wishes for the following year. What's all this mean? Any way you decide to cut it up, it's going to be a good week. Just be careful with the excesses right now.

Scorpio : There's not much in the old Scorpio Sky that is bad this week. In fact, there are some things which could be construed to be good. Of course, I wouldn't want to give you an idea that everything is going to work out great, but there's a good chance, even a great chance, that some unsettled problem will find a happy resolution. Of course, I'm not sure I should be giving you too much hope right now. I still find that the approach of the full moon is making things better and better for you. Good luck with live bait this weekend.

Sagittarius : Wasn't it Claudio, in Shakespeare's "Much Ado About Nothing" who suggested that we "bait the hook well: this fish will bite"? And that's such an apt metaphor for this week. Just get your proverbial ducks in a row, get the right bait on the right hook, and watch what happens. Between you and me, the planets might not be lining up well for everyone, but they do seem to have a good opportunity for you, the lucky archer type. Of course, be wary of any Scorpio with a nice gift for you this week.

Capricorn : Mystical revelations can come in the weirdest of places. I know of a special grease spot that looks just like Elvis. Rather than turn this into a tabloid bit of trash, though, I keep my kingly grease spot's location a secret. You're going to encounter something much like this in the coming week. Maybe it's a tortilla with an imprint of some holy visage on it. Maybe it's a special message when you open the refrigerator. Maybe there will be a picture of Gomer Pyle on the ice box. Whatever form it takes, pay close attention to the message because, yes, it's really there, and it's just for you.

Aquarius : There's nothing like a decent little challenge in order to keep you on your Aquarian toes these days. And it looks like you are going to get just such a challenge. I'm not worried about you being able to face this minor difficulty with characteristic aplomb. You'll do just fine. Remember to exercise caution when you are exercising, though, because there's no need to exacerbate a bad situation. Teamwork is the key word for the week. Or, if you are on AOL, the keyword is Astronet, but that might be circular reference.

Pisces : Good things can come in small packages. And this is a week for good things in small packages. In fact, the package is so small, to me, it looks like one of those check sized envelopes. You know what I mean, the type of envelope which is big enough to go via postcard type mail, but because it's an envelope, the postal service gets to charge full price? Yes, it looks like one of those. In fact, be careful when opening the mail this week, you don't want to toss out what might be the big piece of information you've been waiting on.

Week of: 9/21-27

O! vengeance, vengeance;
Me of my lawful pleasure she restrain'd
And pray'd me oft forbearance; did it with
A pudency so rosy the sweet view on't
Might well have warm'd old Saturn; that I thought her
As chaste as unsunn'd snow. O! all the devils!
Posthumus in Shakespeare's Cymberline [II.v.8-13]

Aries : It's another day in paradise, another week, and the Land of the Aries is feels a little like the land of the lost souls. You feel like someone has come along and cut you loose from you anchor. In other words, you're kind of drifting on the lake of life, stuck out there in a bass boat with no particular direction? Suggestions? Grab the oars, crack your knuckles, and spit on your palms a long haul to the shore line. Worse yet, you're going to feel like there are fish out here mocking you right now. In this case, I mean a Pisces or two. However, once you lay a course in, you'll find a gentle breeze picks up and helps push you along.

Taurus : I slapped a tape in the the old CD player, something to wake up the morning a bit, and I think you will approve of my selection: Wagner's greatest hits. It starts with that "Ride of the Valkyries" piece, and you know what, my fine Taurus friend, that's just what you need to hear this week. Something that speaks about destiny, purpose, vision, and so forth. Saddle yourself up, and get ready for a quick ride with the Valkyries. Saturn is here for a spell, so we had all better get used to the destiny idea. It's your turn, now. Posthumus had a nice way of looking at it, you know, and I'll bet you can warm up an old devil, your sweet Taurus self.

Gemini : Is there an echo in here? Did you hear that? Your chart for this week speaks about echoes and duality. Reminds me of a trip to Echo Canyon. Actually, let's face it, unless you've got a really good set of lungs, those natural echo spots don't seem to work that well. But you get this persistent recurring notice that things are temporarily good in Gemini Land. For some strange reason, by some twist Mutable of Fate, you've got all the energy, and clarity to follow through, this week. I look at it this way: Mars is in your Solar Third House, which is the Gemini House. And that's why I like the echo idea as opposed the duality so often associated with the Twins. There's three this week, not just two.

Cancer : Nothing bad is going to happen to Cancer this week. At least, not much bad is going to happen to Cancer this week. With your propensity for worry, though, you'll worry about the "not much" part. Relax. Lighten up. Pause for a moment. In fact, on the video game of life, hit the pause button and walk away for a second. I want you to think about direction, goals, and dreams. Do you really want to be a high-paid executive? Wouldn't you rather have your own fishing show on Saturday mornings? Imagine, you and a camera crew, out with a video camera, shooting you reeling in trophy sized fish. Isn't that a much better idea? As a water sign, you know you should live near water. Better yet, work ON the lake, not next to it.

Leo : Mr. Mars is still flaming his way through Leo. Speaking of flame, can't you guys be a little nicer to me? Come on! I love Leo's. Hey, I'm a fire sign too! I understand! Now, Mars is energy, see, and you are even more energized than before. No, you're not unstoppable like the Bunny Archetype, but you do get a chance to use your charm to entertain some people. And where does a Leo really belong? Right there in the spot light. With Mars doing his thing to you, I'll give you a better than average chance of winding up in the spotlight this week.

Virgo : Gallant Virgo! Forge ahead! I keep hearing the words of Henry V in my ears, and you should hear them, too, as he does his little speech in Act III, Scene I, you know the bit.... it's that "Once more into the breach dear friends..." Kind of funny, about that speech, it's also framed as a sonnet. But despite the idea that sonnets are supposed to be love poems, and despite the fact that Venus is all over your sign right now, I'd urge you to go after the bigger prizes in life, and hearken to what Young Prince Hal was urging us to all do. In more modern terms, Virgo, Just Do It.

Libra : As the Sun continues on its merry way, it finds itself coming on around to your sign, the Sign of the Loving Scales, and all that it balanced in the world. Or, as Pa Wetzel always refers to himself, a "loving Libra". Ma Wetzel approves. Why sing praises for Libra this week? Mercury is doing a fine dance with the sun, bringing you lots of good stuff. Venus is getting ready to crawl up on your shoulder and make the world a better place, and even relationships with all those folks at work have the promise of going smoothly for a change. This all sounds a little too good, but it's there, so enjoy the ride!

Scorpio : One of the little problems with being a Scorpio is that you are a just a tad too much in tune with the "other forces" or whatever you wish to call it. These unseen forces are certainly working in your life right now. This isn't a bad thing, just a little hard to control. Now, if you'll just take a deep breath, and relax that tense neck of yours, and realize that there is no way to control some of this, you'll feel a lot better. Besides, things are just fixin' to start going your way. Which, in hindsight, is the way it should be in the first place. Please be patient while the rest of us catch up with you and your plan.

Sagittarius : Once again, you feel like there are some great opportunities, right about the middle of the week. But wait, curb that usual Sagittarius impetuousness, and examine this from more than one angle. Check it out, as they say. Make sure this is the THE deal that you want. Nothing is worse than accepting an assignment at the foreign desk, only to find out that the "foreign desk" is some place like Eden, Texas. Which, in case you're not up on it, is spot where it's so flat, you don't have to be psychic to see into next week. In other words, make sure that the deal which looks so good is really the deal that you want. And yes, Eden (Texas) does have industry, a correctional facility.

Capricorn : As long as we've got all this stuff in Virgo, you're in fine shape. The deal is this: the planets make a nice, non-combative angle to you. Life is good. Maybe not great, but hey, is ever that good? No, probably not. However, this is a single little hint of something kicking up from that thing you call your mind... something is bubbling to the top. Great ideas are on their way. Get out a pen and a piece of paper and write down these good ideas. Now, in that piece of paper, what you've got is a solution to certain problems which have been troubling you. That's why I suggested you write it all down because you'll forget it by next week, and, as long as you have that paper, you can refer back to it. Crib notes for life.

Aquarius : This is one of those times when you're supposed to slow down for the week. After what you've just been through, a little rest and relaxation is good idea. Now, R & R means taking it easy for a spell. Extreme vacations are out. No mountain climbing. No scaling huge peaks this week. Besides, it out of season, and you should know that. What you need is a little time out on the lake, drowning some poor bait. In the interest of being humanitarian, try using plastic bait this week. You never know what you'll turn up.

Pisces : Brain power. Two words for this week. Imagine yourself like a giant academic library. What you need to do is update your card filling system. Come on, it's the end of the millennia, time to consider using a computer to keep track of all that information. Ever thought about getting an updated computer system, something to track all those wonderful ideas and useful information that you've got stored in your brain? It's a worthwhile idea. Now, just do a little research into what works best. After all, you're going to need a fast processor this week. And lots of storage. Just remember Kramer's First Law of computer buying: before the ink is dry, after the charge card is debited, but certainly before you get that new computer out of its box, that new machine is now worth one half of what you paid for it. Isn't technology great?

Week of: 9/14-20

"Never shake thy gory locks at me"
in Shakespeare's MacBeth (III.iv.49)

Aries : This is a weird week. Not weird in a bad way, actually, weird in a good way. You feel like you've stepped into a time warp of some kind, and no, we're not all going to do the little dance number that used to associated with THAT song. But you are going to find yourself dancing to music in your head that no one else hears. It's not bad, just different -- like "techno-dance-punk-country & western". You're not used to this sort of melody, it's one that you can't seem to put you finger on. I would suggest fashion choices for you right now, as well. Try to be the leader that you are, as opposed to being a follower this week.

Taurus : You know, if it's not one thing, then it's another. There's this sense of impending doom that some of you are reporting to me. I really don't see it as "impending doom," but as Saturn, making his first little aspects to your sign. And it's not all bad, just time to roll up your sleeves and get back to work. Nose to the grindstone and all that rot. And there are a few of you feeling the less than wonderful effect Mars over in Leo, forcing issues which need to be dealt with. Finally, a few lucky Taurus are feeling the benign influence of Venus as she makes her last pass through Virgo for the year. What will it be? The virtual mail vacuum tube is always open.

Gemini : It's bell curve time again for Gemini. Of course, the bell curve doesn't really apply to Gemini too well because it implies a "median average" and there is nothing median average about any Gemini. But it does mean that this week will be a giant roller coaster ride on the bell curve of life, up at the beginning of the week, down in the middle, and up again by the late weekend. So it goes up and down and up again. Altogether, it's not a bad week, but it's a good thing you're a Gemini this week, because you're going to need to be adaptable to some of the changes coming along.

Cancer : Lucky week for the Cancer Moon Children, the sign that is "deeply introspective and contemplative" and that's right, I get tired of hearing you guys called moody. In fact, since I deal with this all the time, I'm even more tired of hearing it than you are. Besides, moods aren't bad this week at all. In no way shape or form, should you be in a bad mood all week long. The Moon begins this week in your sign, and really late in the weekend, slides on into Libra, covering a lot of ground during the time. Almost all of this territory is good for you. It's a week of fun and merriment, at least, it's supposed to be, all due to the miscellaneous meanderings of the moon.

Leo : If it's not one thing, then it's another. And there is a lovely dark sky coming along pretty soon, the dark of the moon is late this week, and you get a chance to shine during this dark period. While money isn't all-important to you Lion types, it's still sort of a consideration, and this little window of time coming up is a chance for you to do something to make work a better place. And a chance for you to make more money, too. Now what are you going to do with this little opportunity? I suggest you get ready to seize even the smallest of breaks that are going to come your way. It's not in your inimitable style of grand gestures, but it is a chance to make a buck.

Virgo : Remember the old Star Trek? I think it was the one with a thing called "impulse engines". You're moving on impulse engines this week. The deal is that Mr. Mars, the celestial activator, is moving along in your 12th Solar House. That's fancy astrology talk for your subconscious. In other words, you're getting motivated by forces you don't quite understand. Add a little Mercury influence, some Venus, and sprinkle with a New Moon late in the weekend, and you've got a new recipe for action of some kind. Because Venus is stirring things up, I'll warn you about relationship issues which are going to crop up. Or maybe that's crop circles. It's not bad, but there you have it.

Libra : You're on the opposite end of the Bell Curve, like Gemini, only it seems that everything moves in different directions. The week starts out with a few problems, gets easier, then this nasty old New Moon hits you square in the backside. Time to relax, enjoy what ideas come bubbling up from underneath your scalp, and watch while other folks freak out. Now, the real secret to riding out this fast-paced roller coaster of a curve is to let the other folks around do all the hard work. Sit back and enjoy the fruits of their efforts. I just hope that your bell curve doesn't turn into a Mobius strip.

Scorpio : Things which have gone so well for most of the summer, despite the oppressive summer heat, all seem to be standing still right now. The deal is this: Jupiter made fast tracks to make you happy. Now, you're going to feel like you are going over old ground, sort of like reviewing material. As long as you approach this week as a review session, and not as some punishment for something you didn't get before, you'll be okay. Truth be known, it is hard for you to get something that wasn't really covered before so it's not your fault, at least, not this week. Besides, I'm sure we've covered this ground for you before.

Sagittarius : There are good weeks and then there are weak weeks. While this wouldn't fit the definition of being a good week, it doesn't really look like a weak week, either. It just sort of is. It's neither good nor bad. And what is that Shakespeare quote about that? There's dark stuff stirring up your subconscious mind right now, but a subconscious mind in a Sagittarius is kind of like one of my old neighborhoods, not exactly a safe place to venture alone. The New Moon Weekend approaching is a good time make some serious assessments about directions in your life. A Sagittarius get serious? It could happen. But I recommend planning future adventures into that place you call your "brain-zone" with friends, not alone.

Capricorn : I think it's an old AeroSmith line, "I'm like a loaded gun...." (Back in the Saddle Again?) And why would I be singing some kind of strange rock lyric to you at a time like this? Because you're just like that loaded gun right now. You've been carefully primed by the Moon, and the energy is there. Now, all we need to discuss is how to "acquire" a target. Before you go through the "lock and load" drill, you need to make sure that you've gone after the right person, I mean, the right thing. With Deer Season right around the corner, I need to warn you about Buck Fever, and you don't need to go shooting off at just anything that looks like a target. Be selective this week and watch you not miss the target at all.

Aquarius : Air Signs and monster roller coaster styled bell curves are the central conceit this week. And yes, you're on that same ride with the other air signs. The good news is that this is going to be a fun ride for you. Your anticipation mounts as you get closer to the peak, which is late in the week, just like sitting on that roller coaster which is getting cranked up to the top. You can feel the fear in the pit of your stomach because you know that bottom is just fixing to drop away. And yes, it is going to go away, but you'll have enough centrifugal force in order to keep you firmly planted in your seat. Put your hands in the air to show us hat you're not afraid this week, and enjoy the ride!

Pisces : I told you it was good this week, this month, this year, and you doubted my word. I know better than to lie to a Pisces, so I won't. It is good, but you have an unusual configuration which is going to sharpen up your mental process this week. Imagine that, a Pisces with a brain that is acting razor sharp. It could happen. Now, before you fire up the poison pen word processor, consider what else you can do with this high degree of mental ability right now. Outline the business plan for the next six months, write it all down, and don't panic. For most folks, a business plan is pretty much useless, but given your Pisces gifts, it will actually help you.

Week of: 9/7-13

"Where we are,
There's daggers in men's smiles...."
Donalbain in Shakespeare's MacBeth (II.iii.139-40)

Aries : Like a cool and refreshing rain, something to cool off the summer heat, there's a brief bit of a storm which showers you with relief this week. So much for the good news. There was a leak that you didn't fix last time it rained, I mean, I understand, it only leaks when it's raining and you can't fix it in the rain, and once again, you feel like you are a little caught between the proverbial rock and hard spot. When the weather lets up, or whatever the problem is, get after that leak. If you don't, there will be a persistent "drip pause drip pause drip pause...." annoying you next time.

Taurus : Energy is a good thing. At least, usually, it's a good thing. And after a lethargic summer, this is a good time to feel energized. Unfortunately, you're not going to be like that archetype the bunny with the battery. Well, sort of: you have the tenacity to see the job through, and keep on going, but you lack the even-handed way that the bunny works. In other words, your clockwork is screwed up this week. But your energy, albeit erratic, is still there. Words like "frenetic" and "frenzied" come to mind, which are in sharp contract to the normal, well-paced Taurus.

Gemini : Here in Austin, there is a certain amount of the population which is concerned with environmental matters. You too, will feel like aligning yourself with these people this week, as you want to turn your attention towards more mundane matters about what you can do to help the cause. Doesn't matter what the cause is, just pick one and go for it. Of course, the old adage, "think globally, act locally" is bit too much for you because this is the week that you feel like making a grand statement of some kind. Think twice before you chain yourself to the earth moving equipment, though, because that is such a permanent statement for a Gemini.

Cancer : There are only two areas of your life where you are going to have trouble, and you can rest easy with one of these: fiance. I can't work miracles and romance is a going to be tough this week. But the money picture is quite bright, almost as nice as a shiny -- freshly minted -- penny. I know you've heard it before, "money can't buy love" but in certain states, or so I've heard, you can rent love for a little while. Perhaps it would be better if you just gave up on the romance idea all together this week, and stuck to the money thing. Love will be along sooner than you think.

Leo : I always did like the way Shakespeare's characters invoked Mars as they would all go marching off to battle. And Mars is still a prime move and shaker in your life right now. Does this mean a battle is imminent? I sure hope not. You're in a opposition where you can use some of this Martian or Martial energy to get your own troops all lined up and ready. It's better to be prepared and not need it, rather than to be unprepared and be in dire need. I might lose my standing as a peace person with this bit of advice, but Leo has Mars, not me.

Virgo : Dear sweet Virgo. Happy Birthday to that one special Virgo who was upset because I always forgot her birthday. See? I finally remembered! So much for the felicity for this week. Venus is acting like its Aztec heritage right now, inciting a war like spirit amongst you Virgo's this week. I feel sorry for the rest of the signs because a "party animal" Virgo "on the war path" is destined for greatness this week. I just hope you don't chop too many heads off of unsuspecting by-standers. I'm not suggesting that they don't deserve to lose their heads, I'm just suggesting that you do it neatly, like a good Virgo.

Libra : Love is in the Libra Air again. Actually, dreams and visions of love are dancing in your head, but love itself is still unavailable. But you've spotted the target, identified it, and you have a lock on the them. Your poor, and unsuspecting, target of your affections has this little red laser dot on his or her heart right now. You've got some high tech help from a laser sighted crossbow loaded with Cupid's arrows right now. Be careful about squeezing the trigger, though. Timing and breathing is everything, exhale slowly and then squeeze gently.

Scorpio : One thing that upsets a Scorpio is a surprise. Even if it's a good surprise, it still upsets the Scorpio demeanor. And let's face it, some Scorpio's are meaner than others. Still, you have a good surprise or two coming along this week. Don't be upset if your "associates at work" have rigged a party of some kind. Sure, it will interfere with the rest of the work week, but we are merely trying to show you how much we care. Ever notice that it's difficult to show a Scorpio that you care? We're just trying to be nice, that's all.

Sagittarius : I'd take a lesson from a Virgo right now: fastidiousness. A little bit of time spent cleaning up messes is time well-spent this week. You need to exercise some caution about getting into trouble right now, and that's why the idea of cleaning up old messes is a much better way to deal with the week. As a good Sagittarius, you usually leave the mess for someone else, but just for a change, try tackling it yourself. It's like a knotted-up fishing line, one of those horrendous messes which needs a little time and patience to undo, but the results might just be worth the effort. Especially this week.

Capricorn : There are some weeks when it's really nice to be a Capricorn. This is one of those weeks. You've got opportunities for love, travel, money, even the odd chance at a lottery win. Of course, if you're a good Capricorn, you've read the fine print, and you know that the odds on that lotto win are pretty abysmal, but hey, "you can't win if you don't play" as the old tag line goes. So try and be a little bit of a player this week. In one sense or another. Doesn't much matter, because you've got some chances to win something big. It is almost guaranteed. And if you do win, something besides romance, it would be a really nice idea to cut me in for a mere 1%.

Aquarius : Close your eyes and work with me, Aquarius. Of course, it's going to be hard to read the rest of this with your eyes closed, but you get the idea, I'm sure. We're going to take a mythical journey, back to high school, maybe even a little before, it was that first romance. You saw him or her sitting there in your classroom, and it was love at first sight. Or infatuation. It's happening again, now, the same thing. So open up your eyes and make sure that your crush on someone isn't much more than mere infatuation. I'm not saying that it's not true love, but you'd better give this one a week or two before you pop the question. I heartily don't recommend a Las Vegas wedding this week, no matter how you feel. Puppy love isn't for the big dogs, you know.

Pisces : It was the famous English poet and satirist Alexander Pope who once wrote, "And yet, believe me, good as well as ill,/Woman's at best a contradiction still." (Pope, Alexander. Epistle 2. To a Lady, lines 269-270). In these politically correct times, I would suggest updating the phrase "woman" to "significant other" all though then the meter won't scan as well. But the message is the same, your romantic partner, significant other, or whatever you call them, is going to be a contrary this week. Don't worry about! Take it in stride, like the good Pisces that you are. Their worries are not your concern this week. Don't let them get you down right now. And remember that updated version of Pope's line, and hopeful that will work as a way to get through the week.

Week of: 8.31.1998

    He speaks plain canon, fire, and smoke, and bounce;
    He gives the bastinado with his tongue.

in Shakespeare's King John (II.i.462-63)

Aries: Other than little echoes of romance, sort of like past remembrances of long-lost summers, there's not a lot that is going on with you right now. This isn't altogether too bad, either, after this last summer, you can look back and be refreshed by the fact that you don't have a lot going on. I remember how I used to always look forward to school each fall, if only for the fact that there were new faces, new people. You have a similar reason to look forward to this week, some new faces, and then, suddenly, a recurrent image of an Ex pops up, just to shatter the dream like trance you've been enjoying. Sweep him or her (or it, as the case may be) from your mind right now. Of course, there's a recurrent C & W theme song right now: "All my ex's live in Texas...."

Taurus: Ever dream about owning a big piece of real estate? Maybe you do own a grand estate some place. Perhaps it's time to look into developing. Of course, around these parts, the word "developer" is considered a bad word. However, you do have an opportunity to develop something. And I'd urge you to look into the land deals you can work on right now. It's time for you to start building new stuff. Mr. Saturn is here to lend a hand, such as it is. Put them dreams into action. Make things happen. Activity is a "good thang" this week.

Gemini: Ever get that feeling that you are taking about 43 steps forward and then doing a little two step backwards at the same time? Fortunately, for a Gemini, this dance step and the apparent forward and backward motion at the same time isn't too hard for you to do. Of course, all this coming and going will leave the lesser signs (that's the rest of the 11 signs in the Zodiac) with our collective heads spinning as we try to watch just whatever it is that you are doing. Now take a deep breath because you get a chance for some relief in the very near future. As the week comes to a close, all this activity finally becomes clear. The rest of us will eventually understand just what it is that you're doing. Sort of.

Cancer: Dear Moon Child. The approach of the full moon leaves you with a degree of happiness because it's not going to "get" you this time. That's the good news. Now, in typical Cancer fashion, you are waiting to find out when the bad news is going to arrive. That would be in the middle of the week. The positive side of the bad news is that you get to resolve and old problem and then this weekend is good. Not even good, it can be great. Get ready to go and play. And remember, the weekend doesn't end on Saturday, not for you. For you guys, even this approaching Sunday is going to be a party time.

Leo: You know, my fine Leo friends, most folks figure that once the birthday time is over, that the parties are supposed to stop. But with the new school year beginning to unfold, and the Sun being in the sign of Virgo, and Mars still floating along in your sign, I would suspect that the parties have just started. Or maybe they never ended. Now, you need to be careful with any late season fishing because Mr. Park Ranger, or similar authority figure is going to come among and check your fishing license. Just make sure that you've got the insurance papers up in the glove box of the truck, and you know what? Everything will be okay. You did pay the insurance, didn't you?

Virgo: Virgo's have always been near and dear to my heart. The problem with this week is that the approach of the Full Moon makes things untidy, and no Virgo likes things unkempt. Relax the cleaning attitude right now because we are all smack dab in the middle of Virgo time, and you should be having one whale of a good one with birthday parties and what not. And as the Moon fills out in its orbit, getting fuller and more beautiful, give yourself a chance to relax a little and enjoy the serenity. There's a quiet calm which can fill you right now. Okay, enough for the pause and reflection stuff. Have a good party this week!

Libra: This week is firmly divided into two parts for Libra, and trying to get some sense of balance out of the two parts, well, it's like being the chain at a tractor pull. If the stress doesn't get to you, and I know you're strong enough to take it, then things are going to work out just fine. It's that age old battle between work and romance right now. Which one is more important? The one which seems more important this week is the one that you are not currently working on. In other words, no matter where you go, it's going to feel like you should be doing something else.

Scorpio: This happens a few times a year, one of those weeks when you feel like they are attacking you. "They" are not really attacking you, it just feels that way. What it is, astrologically, is Mars is making a somewhat less than wonderful angle to you right now, over there in loud and boisterous Leo. What are going to do with it? Be cool, calm, and act like you've got it all together. Internally, you might feel troubled by this charade, but externally, you can fool all of us. The rest of us might be a little worried because you're acting so calm, but hey, we're not Scorpio, we should worry when you get that look in your eye.

Sagittarius: Party on, my fine Sagittarius friend. Despite the seemingly overwhelming influence of Virgo right now, there's still enough planets floating around in Leo to make this a good week. And the approach of the Full Moon fills you with merriment. Or it fills you with a component of fertilizer, but you can pass that off as merriment. Or maybe that's "you're filled with an integral part of the fertilizer equation this week" but you get my drift. Spread this stuff around wisely, and don't lay it on too thick, even though, being the good Sagittarius that you are, you could get away with it this week.

Capricorn: Don't plan on getting out too much this week. Keep your head down with the incoming fire so you don't get caught by a piece of shrapnel. Do look forward to a good week, as the opportunities go from closed doors, doors which look like they have a few deadbolts and security alarms on them, suddenly, as the weekend gets closer, these same doors go flying open. Of course, you might want to check through the peep hole first, and make sure that you don't get hit with friendly fire this week. Life isn't always a battlefield, but the first part of this week, it sure feels like one.

Aquarius: And how do you spell relief? That's a good question. At the beginning of the week, there is no hope in sight whatsoever. This changes fast, like an old lover's attitude, one of those apparent shifts in the universe, and even though this change makes no sense to you, it does shed some light, and bring with it a degree of hope. In fact, things get downright good by the time Friday gets here, even a little ahead of schedule. So you go from no hope to wonderful in the span of less than a week. Granted, it's not like "0-60 in 3 seconds" but those claims on TV are never accurate anyway....

Pisces: You've got this terrific Lunar Phase swinging your way this week, and I'll wager it has you just all in a dither. Now, you're going to feel a little bit like a Sagittarius right now, because you're going to be a little less graceful than usual. This isn't too much of a problem, however, because, just like that other sign, you're also going to be inordinately lucky this week. But please be careful about the emotional issue right, that is, make sure your emotions don't run you over. Keep a tight rein on them, and all will be well.

Week of: 8/24-30

"There comes a time in ever rightly constructed boy's life when he has to go digging for hidden treasure."
Mark Twain in his epic juvenile adventure book (but good for adults, too) Tom Sawyer, chapter 25.

Aries : The idea, as put forth by Mark Twain, that there comes a time in everyone's life when the goal is to get out and dig for some treasure is good for you this week. You've overlooked something in your everyday life, and this could use some undercover work. Or work at uncovering the little gem which is hidden there. You stand a chance of finding a strongbox full of about $6000 in gold coins, if you are willing to put out a little effort this week.

Taurus : Well, dear Fixed Earth Sign, the quote from Mark Twain has a lot to do with the Hard Work you've got ahead of you for this week. Sorry to use such harsh words, but that's about the sum total of it. Roll up your sleeves and have a go at it, and you will be pleasantly surprised when you actually do strike gold. It might just be silver, but we are still taking about a hidden treasure and we are still taking about things which pay off. Of course, all this nonsense about hard work might offend your delicate Taurus sense of taste, but I'm sure you can work with me on the definition of what hard work is. It's just Saturn, and he's here for a spell.

Gemini : I was going to use a terrible joke to tie into that quote from Mark Twain, something like, "Can you dig it?" but I realized that I would receive numerous complaints about my sordid attempts at making a pun. And I'm sure that the Gemini's out there would want to punish me for such humor. Still, there is a element of truth in this quote, especially this week. You've got an area of your house, apartment, or trailer home which could use a thorough cleaning. And, if you are willing to do this, you'll find that it is just like digging for treasure. I just hope the bright, shiny objects that you discover along the way to cleaning everything doesn't distract you too much.

Cancer : Delicate Moon Children are greatly influenced by the passage of the Moon, on her course through the evening sky. And with the route of the Moon passing through Virgo, Libra, Scorpio and then, finally into Sagittarius this week, you will find that the Mark Twain quote makes no sense to you. Of course, there are exceptions to every rule, but I wouldn't worry about spending time digging for treasure, this is not a week for trying to undercover hidden assets. In fact, you will find that you are a remarkably jolly self these days, and this week is a good one to get on about the business of having fun. Some new fishing gear might help. I suggest Wal-Mart or Sears as the place to acquire this new equipment. Of course, Bubba's Live Bait & Tackle on the road to the lake might also be the best place shop.

Leo : In your case, and your case is a special one, my fine Leo friend, because every Leo is special, this treasure hunt metaphor this week just doesn't really seem to apply to you. In fact, with the all the little Love planets all lined up in your sign, I don't think that you are going to be forced to sully your paws with tarnished dirt. Work, like that, is best left for the other, less regal signs. Of course, you should be paying attention to some details right now, and this attention to detail will help others as they search for the buried treasure. If anyone knows where that treasure is buried, I'm sure it's a Leo. If you want to clue me in, well, you know my email address.

Virgo : New Moon, New Sun Sign, and everything is coming up roses. Perhaps not in the strictest definition, but you get the idea, or so I hope. The New Moon which starts out this week, is a good time for you to begin a new endeavor. Like digging through that morass of details and getting to the bottom of things. And starting a new project. The little, love planets are lined up in the sign before you, so I would be extra careful about impulse buys this week. I know it's Virgo Birthday Time, but still, watch the compulsive over spending this week. At least, watch the spending until you uncover your own, personal hidden treasure.

Libra : Forget the hidden treasure allegory for this week. In fact, there's a another story from within Tom Sawyer, one about white washing a fence. Tom became very rich doing this. You have an opportunity to do the same thing, all you have to do is convince your neighbor, co-worker or similar person that it's what they really want to do. It's for their own good. In some circles, I believe this is referred to as "Marketing" but Mark Twain was writing at a time when that term was largely unknown. However, a little effective marketing can get someone else to do all the hard labor for you. And you'll both feel richer for the experience.

Scorpio : One of my famous allegories for explaining how a Scorpio is prone to behave involves digging. So this week, as I encourage you to dig for hidden treasure, remember that I'm serious. You've got something, a real clue, right under your nose. Now, if you can just follow that clue, I'm pretty sure you will find what it is that you are looking for. And remember the accolades you will receive when you uncover that treasure, all by yourself. Scorpio's are known for being great self-imposed taskmasters. You expect a lot out of yourself, and I feel like you will not let me down this week.

Sagittarius : Late in the week, we get our monthly Pluto/Moon thing. So put off any efforts at finding that hidden treasure until then. That's the best time to dig. While every other sign is puzzling over treasure maps, and lining up tools to work with, you are best off loafing in the shade of a leafy oak. (Any tree will do, but I like the Oak this week.) As the weekend approaches, and as the other signs are dropping their tools in despair, you hastily grab one shovel and go to work. And look at what sort of great secrets you can uncover.

Capricorn : The problem associated with digging for hidden treasure this week is that you are more apt to attempt to "plumb the depths" in the wrong place. Now, here's an astrological hint: while everyone else is looking for treasure in haunted houses, and under the branch of an old tree, you have an opportunity to actually do a little research and discover exactly where that sunken Spanish Galleon is. So while everyone else is out sweating in the hot sun, get your Capricorn self to the library and do a little research. Okay, maybe it's a lot of research. But the AC in the Library works fine, and that's the bet way to go about getting this work done. It's the tired old adage, "work smarter, not harder."

Aquarius : Alas, my fine Aquarian friend, it looks as if the hidden treasure will stay hidden this week. No matter what you do, it seems like everything evades your grasp. Neptune is up to its usual camouflage techniques, and what this does is dress everything up so you can see the forest and all the trees. Perhaps it would be better to look at it this way: stupid fish, not even bright ones, will come up along side your boat and spit your bait back at you. It's not a pretty sight. Avoid trying to do anything that requires subterfuge this week. Aquarius is not sublime this week.

Pisces : Hidden treasures are such a noble cause. And think about all the good things you could do with that money, if you really did recover a hidden treasure. So what's stopping you from getting out and doing a little bit of hard work right now? It's really pretty simple, the harder you work, the more you sweat. I'm sure there is some other reward for hard work, but I haven't seen it yet. And I'm sure you'll agree that this actual "digging" exercise is vastly over rated. Let the other signs do the hard work right now. You can take a break. You need a break, anyway.

Week of: 8/17-23

"Give me mine angle; we'll to the river: there
My music playing far off, I will betray
Tawny-finn'd fishes; my bended hook shall pierce
Their slimy jaws; and, as I draw them up,
I'll think them every one an Antony,
And say 'Ah, ha! you're caught.'"

Cleopatra in Shakespeare's Antony and Cleopatra, II.v.30-5

Aries : What feels like it is going to start out as a rough week, quickly, and I mean quickly, turns itself around. Faster than you can say, "Road trip," you find yourself heading out with a bountiful new kind of energy, sort of like all of a sudden finding a shiny new quarter, and placing it in a slot machine, and then suddenly hitting a jackpot, and then, turning that jackpot into more money at the craps table, and lucky play on a roulette wheel, and you see how all this can multiple. The real trick this week is knowing when to stop.

Taurus : You might find yourself struggling with friends, relatives, and other people of that ilk this week. These aren't major problems, and there sure is a silver lining to your own, personal rain cloud that you feel hovering overhead. Look on the bright side, a little shade in the August heat is a welcome thing, I hope. And this minor struggle with those folks who keep trying to exert control over you won't escalate into a full scale tug-of-war, even though it feels like it will. Your mental ability, your innate mental ability to address problems gets you out of this mess. I'm not worried about you, and I don't reckon you ought to be too worried either.

Gemini : From a vacuum which felt very much like you were stranded on a desert island, you jump right into the center of attention this week. This should be a welcome relief. By the end of the week, all your troubles and past little difficulties ought to be behind you, and things should be going much better. That little Mercurial Wobble thing has taken care of itself, and you will find that a giant cruise ship is headed your way to let you escape from this island. Better yet, you'll be able to do some trolling on that cruise ship. Who ever thought you could fish from the Love Boat?

Cancer : The unstable, but certainly fun, influences in your romantic life gets better this week because that old trouble maker Mars, moves his bad self out of Cancer and into Leo. Breathe a sigh of relief, and turn your attention to clean up your mobile home. Don't have a mobile home? I find that very unlikely. Most Cancers travel with a little bit of everything, like the concept of "if I can't stay home, I'll take my home with me" (or have you heard this all before?) So this week settles in a little as those two romance things head on over to the next sign, and that means you are going to be spending time at home this. However, it looks like you might be "entertaining" at home this week.

Leo : Let's see what we've got for the Mighty Leo this week, no more Mercury Retrograde, Mars coming in, Venus hanging about a bit, and all that stuff over in Aquarius, exciting you. Now, just because the birthday month is over, doesn't mean that your party atmosphere has changed. Nor does it mean that you are any less likely to want to play. In fact, with the Sun finally heading off into the next sign, you Leo's can get after some serious fun. All that, and the lucky little love planes, too. What Mercury put on hold earlier, is now off the hook, and ready to go!

Virgo : At the very end of this week, or the beginning of next week, depending on your location on the planet (one can never be too exact for a Virgo), the Sun itself goes into your sign. It's a dawn of a new day for Virgo. The problem is that the Sun is a little messy and we know how the Virgo archetype abhors a mess. To confuse matters, there is a still that pesky planet pile up back in Leo, and as a Good Virgo, you still have these deep, dark suspicions about what the immediate future might hold. Relax some because it's really not that bad. Relationships are going to be a bit troubling this week. You feel like you've locked yourself up and you can't seem to get free. Like many aspects of life, this locked up feeling is merely an illusion, but you might want to wait and find that out for yourself.

Libra : Libra's are known far and wide for their excellent taste in art, cuisine, music and theatre. This distinctive quality is further enhanced this week by a gentle, fortuitous arrangement in the morning sky as the Morning star makes a benevolent angle to one of those pesky little asteroids. Turn your attention to matters that matter this week, and seek to help your fellow fishing buddy this week. You have exceptional taste when it comes to picking lures that really work. Here's the hot tip: get the pretty ones. Visual appeal works on fish, too, you know.

Scorpio : I was hoping I could generate a nice a quote for this week, but my online database just couldn't come up with the appropriate metaphor for what you are looking for. See, it's both good and bad. Good, if you are wiling to take some steps at resolving an old conflict. Bad, if you try to ignore this conflict. The conflict itself looks like it is of the romance variety; however,there is no guarantee that this is the case. it could be a work-related thing. But my money's on Scorpio and Romance this week. Which, for a Scorpio, can be both good and bad. And it can be twice as troublesome for the other sign, too.

Sagittarius : Just when you thought that things were warming up, there is a sudden cold draft, running down your spine. It's as if the AC had been broken, and the Repairman has arrived, and now the unit is blowing really arctic air. So much for the good news. And if you did see the AC guy this week, you're probably going to have to see him again, later in the week, because he didn't quite get everything fixed. Remember that cold blast of air which is raising the hair on the back of your neck? It's happening again, sort of a cosmic deja vu....

Capricorn : Sweet escape! Neptune, that large and undefined mass of "something" in your life is back. Just when you thought it was safe to venture forth in the cruel, hard light of the summer sun. There is some nice news here, though, this little visit from Neptune is merely giving you a chance to wrap up some old business, personal business, along the lines of a relationship which was once failed, and probably still is, but you can always give it another whirl. We call this the Neptune effect, here in Austin. Happens all the time to us. It's in the water, don't you know.

Aquarius : Most of he Aquarius folks I run across all have a clear purpose in mind. And most of them know exactly where they are going, and what they are doing. This week, however, the rest of the 11 signs have no clue as to your actions or direction. In fact, you may feel like you have no clue, either. Now, I'm not about to suggest that you are clueless, but it is a good time to spend a few hours alone, staring at a computer monitor or TV gathering your thoughts. Next week? Turn the monitor on. Astrologically, you really do know where you are going, it's just not obvious to us. Nor does it really need to be.

Pisces : I've got a (hopefully) interesting analogy for you guys this week. I was smoking a nice cigar last night, and drifted off to a pleasant reverie. Now, this next morning, I found this half smoked cigar in my ashtray. This is one of those "ten dollar" type of cigars, all-natural, long-leaf filler, hand-made, and so on. When you come face to face with a remaining bit of last night or even last week, don't hesitate to fire that remaining bit of whatever up. It will taste almost as good. And a good cigar will keep the mosquitoes away, too. In fact, some of my cigars will keep just about everything away except Bubba.

Week of: 8/10-16

"From Alexandria
This is the news: he fishes, drinks, and wastes
The lamps of night in revel;"
Octavius Caesar in Shakespeare's Antony and Cleopatra [Act I, Scene IV]

Aries : It'd time for you to consider delving into your own, deep, personal and dark abyss. There is something lurking along the bottom of your own personal ocean, and whatever creature from the deep that is there, he or she needs some attention. This is another week that evokes memories of long forgotten B-Movies, ones with bad monsters. Shows that these days would go straight to video. Watch out with the flammable liquids this week. If you can actually find a Full Service gas station, I think it would be best if your let some one else fill up your tank. There's no need to mix a Fire Sign with potentially combustible fluids this week. Or Scorpio's.

Taurus : Take a brief hiatus from work. It's a long summer, and the impending Mercurial action this week bodes no well for your poor, much put upon sign. Now, in the immortal words of famous British author Douglas Adams, "Don't Panic!" And you'll discover that this expression is always best delivered at a tone several decibels higher than your normal speaking tone, maybe half an octave off, too. This would be a good week to schedule yourself a brief, if somewhat impromptu, vacation. Take a long weekend, trust me on this, the problems will all wait until you get back. Since the problems always seem to wait, so give them a chance to simmer and stew in the summer heat.

Gemini : There is no good news for 80% of the Gemini's out there. With this unfortunate, but inevitable planet thing, no one seems to understand a word you say. You feel like you are operating in a vacuum. And that's not a pretty sight, because, in a vacuum, no one can hear you scream. Or, in the case of the Gemini, even talk. However, there is some relief coming soon enough because even before the week is over, you turn the tide on this whole retrograde thing. Maybe. Well, you're supposed to, anyway. I've got it right here in one of my astrology texts, I know I do. Since I can't find the reference, maybe you can. Make sure you take note of everything, so you can refer back to it later, when the planets fall back into place for you.

Cancer : By now, I'm sure, you have consulted my Mercury Chronicles, and you are aware of the usual rules about Mercury going retrograde, and just what you can expect. It's not going to be a problem. Well, it's not going to be a big problem. Maybe it will, but I doubt it. There will be the usual communication upsets. You did pay the phone bill, didn't you? Nothing is worse than picking up the phone and finding that the line is dead. Worse yet, is when the phone company decides to terminate your service, halfway through a message then you never know what to

Leo : I fear I will not be popular with Leo this week. But please don't beat me, I don't think I'll enjoy the whips and chains this time. Mercury is working its way backwards through your sign right now. Now see here, and listen up good: this is a natural cycle in the normal chain of events. Nothing to get all worried about. But I kept telling you to plan ahead, and did you listen? If you had paid attention to me, you wouldn't be in the big mess that find yourself in right now. Okay, enough browbeating. Get ready to be a lot more adaptable than usual this week. There are going to be a lot of little problems, nothing major, and you just need to be able to erase your schedule on a daily basis to adjust for the new changes. When "they" say "pencil us in," I'd suggest a real pencil.

Virgo : It's "crystal ball" time for you guys. Look: gazing at a crystal ball is called "scrying" and it is high time that you spent some of that brain power of yours on things which were not so tangible. Like crystal ball gazing. I'm suggesting this exercise because it's simple but not ordered, and some would say unscientific. While that sort of ordered thought process is usually good for you, this is one of those weeks when ordered thought processes are not a good idea. Don't really on things like "reason" and "logic" this week. That merry prankster in the sky spreading a little bit of disbelief, so go with what bubbles up from the other side. Try something that's not logical, like crystal ball gazing.

Libra : Just when everything was supposedly looking up for you, just when all the right stuff got back on track, we all run into a major derailment by the smallest planet in the system. Ain't that just the way it goes? So, what to do for Libra this week? There is still that weak, but very good, influence wobbling around in your sign that means love. Too bad she (it's a feminist asteroid) doesn't also mean business. So business will be mean, but you'll feel all right. You might want to try some antics this week to amuse your co-workers. They could all use a good laugh, too.

Scorpio : The odds aren't good this week for Scorpio because of that nasty little planet doing its thing over in the other fixed sign. Doesn't look good. But lest I leave you with a bad feeling, try this one on for size, despite the bad odds, there is a long shot which you can bet on this week, and you'll certainly surprise the odds-makers when you pull it off. Now remember, this is a long shot, and your mileage may vary. The usual warnings apply. See fine print for details. And don't let other people influence your own thinking. Especially this week.

Sagittarius : The good news this week, and being an Archer, you're really only concerned with the good news, is that this untimely Mercury Retrograde isn't going to be that bad for you. I always remember the Amy's Ice Cream slogan, "Life is short, eat desert first" at times like this. But you do need to be careful with the desert tray in that fancy restaurant. Being a good Sag, and Mercury playing its usual tricks, you don't need to dump the tray into your date's lap. That just won't do at all, although it does present a fairly amusing image for the rest of us.

Capricorn : With Mercury heading down the tubes right now, it's a good time to step back from this headlong rush into a new business arena. In fact, this new business arena has all of sudden become a Wrestling Arena, and you are about to be faced off (more than one way to take that comment) against some guy who weighs in at at close to three hundred pounds, and has a likely nickname of "Killer" because he has left so many of his opponents in the morgue. Now, the secret to remember is that a little guile and trickery will go long way. Use that big feller's weight against him. You don't want to end up on the ropes this week.

Aquarius : Work, toil and trouble. I was thinking about quoting you a little bit of Middle English, say something from Chaucer this week, just to make sure you understood. Then, after realizing that Mercury was going to be retrograde in Leo, I realized that Middle English would seem like old Norse to you. Carry your dictionary this week, or get one of the new fangled hand held computer things, and use its dictionary because words coming from other folks' mouths are all going to sound like Middle English. You can understand them, but it takes a might bit of learnin' to get the real meaning.

Pisces : Now ya'll just wait a cotton pickin' minute here. Just because this feels like a truly big break comin' down the highway of life right now, doesn't mean that it is all that it appears to be. You don't want to buyin' a pig in poke right now. Or insert ya'lls own, favorite expression. Use some of this exciting stuff that is going to make sure that you've looked into all the inner workings of this deal that looks so darn good. Make sure you do more than kick the tires, as if you were buying a car. Look under the hood, Pull out the dipstick and smell the motor oil. Make sure that there is no sawdust in the transmission right now. But don't let me stomp on your enthusiasm, either.