Fishing Guide to the Stars
By Kramer Wetzel
For the week starting: 11/12/2009
"Life is as tedious as a twice-told tale vexing the dull ear of a drawsy man."
Shakespeare's King John [III.iv]
Scorpio: Local sports are always a big deal, and I might be mistaken, but there was a local high school team, probably from a remote West Texas town, the team's name? The Possums. The problem being, with a name like that? Like the "Poteet Possums?" Or wherever it was? When that team played at home, the home field advantage, they were great.
I'd like to think it was a Scorpio-like team, because they would be sneaky and good. I mean, you know, sneaky, like clever. The home-field advantage, I'm sure. The problem with the team? Like many of the smaller West Texas towns, there's a sizable amount of travel involved in order to compete. What I'm warning Scorpio about? Travel. Careful in the next few days. You know what happened to the Possums when they went on the road? They just got killed.
Sagittarius: Theory holds that this is a good time for Bass Fishing, the month of November. The lakes are cooling off, and the fish are foraging for winter, in as much as we have winter down here. The phase of the moon, this weekend? Particularly good for fishing, although, it doesn't look like the weather will be too compliant. Hence a little dilemma.
Fish? Hunt? Or other activity? I'm in favor of the other activity, in as much as I would prefer to be out-of-doors? Not always able to get the weather, the Moon's phase and the wildlife all cooperating. Which is the problem. Three things to do. Only enough time to do two of the three. Or one of the three. Pick and be careful, choose which one is most important at this time. Pursue that objective. Might get a chance to do the others, too, but stick to one, at first. See where it goes.
Capricorn: There's a special kind of operating mode that I've found very helpful. "Are you sure you want to do that?" I'll ask. Then, I'll affix a steely, steady, beady eye stare on the person. I won't repeat the comment, but it's a way to punctuate the "Are sure you really want to do this even though the consequences might be totally disastrous for you" -- punch that expression up some.
Punctuate with the look.
The deal is, that look? It's totally ironic, as that action is completely okay with you, with me, and with the other person. It's just good, though, especially with a new moon occurring during the terms of this scope, it's just a good idea to make sure that there's plenty of time to pause and consider actions that might -- or might not -- have consequences. What kind of consequences? Could be serious, you know. Which is the point to stop and ask that question, appropriately punctuated.
Aquarius: I got a catalog in the mail. I was reading it, like a magazine, full of out-of-doors people doing outdoorsy activities. Snow. Warm coats, mittens, gloves, long underwear, wool socks, heavy footwear, and I realized, as I gazed at this cold weather gear? I have no intention, none whatsoever, of landing in a place where I need that kind of cold weather attire. Ever again.
That catalog is wasted on me. I looked for a little while then realized I was wasting my time. Not going to happen. If I have to wear long pants, a sweater, and maybe a sports coat? That's about as much cold weather gear as I want to own. Or need to own. I have a winter coat, and yes, I do have some shoes I could wear, but I live in a close-to-tropical climate, and I just figure, that's where I'll spend my winters, here at home. No need to get all dressed for freezing weather, not if I can avoid it.
Which I can. It's a matter of choice. So the next time I get a catalog full of winter-wear, I'll just toss it before I bother wasting time looking at people bundled up in colorful layers of expensive under and outer wear. This is about cutting out one action. One item, one piece of inbound information that is no longer required. For my Aquarius self? Obviously, it was the cold-weather catalog. Might be that, or, quite possibly some other item you no longer need. Save time by not bothering with it.
Pisces: Ever figure you just a few degrees off? That's what this feels like to me. Not in a bad way, but you thought it started at 7:30 and when you get there, 5 minutes early? It started at 7:15, and you're late. Just a few degrees off. Plan on a fishing trip with me, and we agree to meet at 7 AM. You show up at 6:30 AM and wonder where I am for half an hour.
Fortunately, if you want to belabor the point, I have a copy of the e-mail confirmation for 7. Only if you want to push the point, though. However, these are just examples of how you feel a little off, a little different, a little at odds with the rest of the world, or, as I posited at the beginning of the scope? A few degrees to one side of center. Not good, not bad, not horrifically wrong, just a little one side. It isn't bad, it isn't good, it's just understanding. Understand how you're just a little off to the side of the main action.
Is this bad? Not really, as the bad stuff will go flying right over you and miss your sweet Pisces self completely. As long as you stand off to one side, just by a few inches, feet, just a couple of degrees off center.
Aries: Local taco stand, more a restaurant than a true taco stand, this one place has some of the finest green salsa I've ever had. It's a strong salsa, typically, green salsa uses "green tomatillo tomatoes" as a base. But this one place? JalapeÃ±o peppers are the base for the green salsa. Yeah, baby, it's hot. Really hot. Subtle yet strong and fiery. Maybe not so subtle but creeps up on you.
Does me, anyway. Why I like it. However, I've found that I have to ask for the green sauce. Usually, the waitress sees a white (person) like me? We'll get served the milder red sauce. I make a quick point to ask for the "salsa verde" and it's all good. Quick and easy. You would also guess, after dining there, off and on for over a year, that the staff would recognize me, and from my tips, remember to bring me the good stuff. The hot stuff. Then again, this scenario gets repeated, maybe every week or two, and I have to ask for that JalapeÃ±o salsa.
While you would think, as an Aries, that folks would learn what you like? Not so sure that's going to happen this week. Doesn't hurt to let them know what you want. Exactly what you want.
Taurus: I was in a buddy's truck, coming in from the lake, and I pulled through a certain brand of coffee shop in order to acquire an afternoon beverage. I pulled through Starbucks to get something to drink. "Would you like a nice Hot Chocolate or a Skinny Pumpkin Spice Latte?" The nice counter girl asked through the speaker. I got a tall ice tea, no water, lots of ice. The ice melts, waters it down and it's palatable.
It was also close to 85 that afternoon. Might've been about a week or two ago, might've been just yesterday. That Texas weather in the fall, it's funny like that. Warm days, cool nights. I was sweating and sunburned. No, I didn't want hot coffee, hot chocolate, and I had to wonder, out loud, at the wisdom of offering just such fare. "Hot coffee?" "Well, it was cool when I came in this morning," the girl said, then stuck her head out the window a ways, "but I can see it's warmed up a lot."
She giggled and squirmed back in. Because I was being difficult with my cranky old man question about efficacy of hot beverages on a sweaty winter afternoon, I tipped the usual amount. Only proper. I pay for my insolence. You're a Taurus. You're going to get hammered with either weather, a question about the weather, or a cranky old man asking curmudgeon-like questions. Hopefully, he's nice like me and leaves a tip. But just as a warning? Might not be me.
Gemini: What some people, let's pretend these people are non-Gemini, consider the easiest, most expedient route to be a straight line. I'm good with that. I can see how that would appear to be the most direct way to get from here to there. From Point A, to Point B, the purported destination.
However, you're a Gemini, and you're going to use the advance Gemini warning system to alert you to upcoming weather and unforeseen issues. Road hazards, traffic patterns, delays and concerns. The way around it all? What most folks don't understand that the easiest, most expedient route seems a little circuitous to some.
From the starting point, you go up, then to the left, then veer to the right, then take a detour down this side road, and finally wind up where you set out to be. Long way around to outside observer. The point is, though, it was actually shorter since you avoided a few obstacles. So even though it doesn't seem like a shorter route? Use your Gemini senses to pick the way to get here from there. Don't listen to other people, not now. Might seem like more work, but for you? Not really.
Cancer: One of the guides with whom I fish? He gets all worried when I wear sport sandals instead of, like, tennis shoes. The biggest problem? In his mind, anyway? Crabs, loose on the deck of the boat. We'll pick up some crab from time to time, and use it as bait. Late in the year, like now? Reds are running good. Cut crab makes an excellent bait. Both Reds and (Speckled Sea) Trout love the tender flesh. Great bait. But that means there's a good chance there's a real blue-shell crab loose on the boat's deck, from time to time. With pincers. With crab claws that exert hundreds of foot-pounds of pressure with sharp claws.
It's not so much dangerous as uncomfortable. Which is why that one Captain always shakes his head at my choice in footwear. However, to me, the danger is minimal, not like I'd lose a toe or anything, worst thing that might happen? One of those crabs would threaten me.
Now, imagine that this week, like me, you're going fishing. And like me, you're thinking about sandals. Unlike me, though, you think about those crab pincers, and you opt, after reading this horoscope, you choose close-toe footwear, in the name of safety. Good move. I can get away with tempting the crab's claw. Not sure you want to play the same game, not if you don't want the pain.
Leo: I've got a picture, some place on my website, has the original Starbucks logo. From a single storefront in Seattle. The image, that original logo? Looks like, to me, an artistic representation of a woman's naked breasts. Exposed, out there for all to see. I was thinking about that because I liked it, but my obviously male and prurient tastes are transparent.
That logo was sanitized for some, more universal or whatever. However, that's not what this is about. That original logo reaction? The mere suggestions that naked breasts were on a cup's sleeve, or signs across the country? Across the globe? That really irritates some people. Others, like me, are amused, or attracted -- or whatever.
It's a polarizing effect. Much like what you're experiencing at the hands of the planets. Either you like it or you don't. Not much middle ground here in Leo. If you don't like it? Why? If you do like it? Same question. Might not be the original Starbucks logo, either, could be any number of issues. But you get the idea. Instead of just being opinionated, dig for the reason, source, and cause of that Leo opinion.
Hint: there really aren't any wrong answers.
Virgo: "Ear-worm." That's when a lyric gets stuck in your head. Or, in my case, it's part of a lyric. Just a brief, slightly garbled version of a few lines of a song. Powerful verse, to me, at one time. Sort of means something now. But I got to the point where I was annoying friends and even some innocent bystanders, inflicting my useless attempt at singing the lyrics, or the brief portion of the refrain that I remember, and while that's momentarily entertaining, even to the point that, as Virgo, you might giggle or smirk at the idea of me singing to friends and strangers?
Like karaoke, only without the benefit of being all liquored up? Yeah, it's an ugly sight. I realize that, now.
Anyway, like that ear-worm, like that persistent and repetitive refrain? With silent musical accompaniment? Yeah, that's what this is like. Now, as a solution? I've got one Virgo fishing buddy, and what he'll do is merely burn me a CD with the song on it. He won't try to sing. But that's his solution. Most of us? We'll probably try to sing. Can't say I didn't warn you.
Libra: I like tourists. I like questions. In San Antonio, I always feel like a tourist. However as a native Texan, I understand San Antonio's importance as a historical shrine and a birthplace of freedom. I tread on hallowed ground with the requisite amount of reverence. But the other tourists, they're a funny lot. I'm constantly amused, and one of my favorite answers, when asked where I'm from? "I'm from up north," I'll drawl, "Austin." 60-70 miles north. Different land, but that's not what this is about.
It's about tourists and weird questions. As a Libra, you're feeling the effects of Pluto square Saturn and just what that means to you. You will, sure as can be, encounter, a smart aleck like me, who's "From up north." Think that's bad? Wait, that's just the effect of Pluto in Capricorn. The effect of Saturn in Libra? One more question, not from me, but I've heard this before, "Why did they put the Alamo in the center of downtown San Antonio?"