Week of: Oct. 9 - 15

Chaucer's Nun's Priest has some sage words of wisdom, unfortunately, it's all in Middle English. Bubba, let me translate for you: "Feces Occur."*
The Mercury thing is over this week, and it's been like it usually is, I mean, I've watched this pattern emerge: the first week, you coasted along, the second week you were a little frustrated, and now? I just hope you don't buy an automatic weapon and wind up in the news. I guess I should avoid postal employee jokes, too.
*"Now, goode men, I prey yow herknerth alle:/Lo, how Fortune turneth sodeynly/The hope and pryde eek of hir enemy!" Nun's Priest Tale, lines 4592-4.

Aries [3/23-4/20]: Speaking of "in the news," this isn't a particularly spectacular week for you: you start out irritated, wind up sullen, and finally, just in time for the weekend, you go through a subtle shift and start enjoying life again. That much fickle behavior maybe normal for some other signs who shall remain nameless, but it's certainly a different YOU from the you we're all used to.

Taurus [4/21-5/22]: Things are rolling along so smoothly right now that you ought to be frightened. And if there not ruling along smoothly, ask yourself, "Self, why am I struggling with the this event/person problem?" It's listening to your own inner guides that will help you -- you know what to do, you just haven't done it yet. After the last few weeks, I thought you would be eager to embrace the change.

Gemini [5/23-6/21]: You know, I've warned you about this time and again, and you never seem to listen to me. Why should I continue to harangue you when you pay no attention to me whatsoever? And see what I mean about problems with mis-communications? Here we go again. You just don't understand me. That's what I've been trying to tell you. The weeks shifts into a high energy drive scene right about Saturday morning.

Cancer [6/22-7/22]: This isn't a good time for negotiations. Quite trying to play "Let's Make A Deal" and find the new outboard motor behind Door Number Three. It's ain't going to work this week. And that Significant Other thing you've been angling for, too, watch out, because your mood swings will lead you into uncharted waters right now, and that can be a frightening place.

Leo [7/23-8/23]: Party on, oh great Lion types. I mean, what can I tell you right? You're stubborn and headstrong, and the recent events have only made you more resolute and determined, so I guess that's that. This weekend, the one coming up, is a great time to get back out on the party barge.

Virgo [8/24-9/23]: Still not sure about yourself, or anything else right now? Let me explain: the great Doubtful One, has moved into a position which opposes you. And the great Doubtful One brings, as its name implies, a great, huge cloud of obfuscation. Just keep assessing those decisions before you make them. Especially right now.

Libra [9/24-10/23]: The Mercury Retrograde is over, and Venus is about to leave your little slice of the Celestial Pecan Pie. That's one that is a positive and which is a negative. The good news is once Mercury starts to straighten up in your sign, you're going to experience all sorts of clarity and the inability to speak correctly (which plagued you last week) is gone.

Scorpio [10/24-11/23]: By this point, if you Scorpio types are still even bothering to read this, you will know that I've been warning you about a feeling of impending doom. This "impending doom" thing only gets worse right now, but it isn't dependent on a tiny and insignificant planet like Mercury, no it's the approach of mars and Pluto, the two single parents of Scorpio. And you, the Scorpio child, is right in the middle of a parental dispute. Or you're about to be. It can be great, if you like the attention. I would get ready for battle, though, knowing what I know about you.

Sagittarius [11/24-12/21]: Lucky devil! It just doesn't get much better than this. Okay, so the weeks starts out a little rough, but your basic happy attitude, and good outlook get you by. Just be careful about purchases at a time like this. While you make think that your taste has never been better, check with a few friends. As an example, just look at the way Bell Bottomed jeans made such a big comeback this time around. And wide ties, too. Now do you get the picture? Watch the aesthetic decisions.

Capricorn [12/22-1/20]: It starts out an emotional week, and it doesn't ever seem to get much better. Hold on. You are traveling through many different dimensions these days, and all of them seem to be inhabited by people who have one job: confuse, irritate, and otherwise just piss you off. It's not just you, and you're not really paranoid: these people are doing their best to get under your skin. Oh well.

Aquarius [1/21-2/18]: While everyone else is SUFFERING through this last week of the Mercury thing, there are some more subtle shifts occurring in your universe. There is also a crack which appears in the side of the great cosmic egg, and you are ready to jump in there with both feet and exploit that structural weakness to your advantage. The sense of urgency is upon you, as of this week, because you know thee is something waiting, just around the corner.

Pisces [2/19-3/22]: There's one Pisces I talk to, on an infrequent basis, and this particular person hates the way I keep talking about work. Well, so be it. Take some vacation time. The hard work thing in Pisces is just about over. In fact, it was during this week that you felt a shift in your burden, hopefully on to somebody else's shoulders.

� Kramer Wetzel