• Horoscopes for 9.8.2026
  Joan de Pucelle:

  Christ’s Mother helps me, else I were too weak.

  (Joan of Arc) in Shakespeare’s 1 Henry 6 (I.ii.107)

  Horoscopes for 9.8.2026

  9/10 3:07 AM Venus into Scorpio 9/10 10:27 PM New Moon 18°25’ Virgo 9/10 11:21 AM Mercury into Libra

  Horoscopes for 9.8.2026

  Virgo

  Happy Virgo birthday. The new moon in Virgo sets a tone, and the challenge ahead, for the birthday Virgo? Precision. That moon, the sun sign of Virgo, and the constellation Virgo? Always known for precision, exactitude, and to a large degree, perfectionism. “Cleanliness is next to godliness,” chimes a certain Virgo. (I groan.) However, thus noted, about the cleanliness, the perfectionism, and precision? Accept that the rest of the planets make this week messy. Personally messy, maybe the house is a wreck, the issues at hand are a mess, just something is not up the perfect Virgo standards. Admit it, embrace it, and understand that no one will be able to meet that internal set of conditions for Virgo. Knowing that all the others will fall short helps manage those unrelated Virgo expectations. It’s not you, birthday person; it’s us.

  Libra

  It was an experiment. Failed, as such, but it was a noble effort. I bought a cheap, off-brand “robot floor sweeper.” There are spots on the floor where I just can’t seem to reach, and instead of me doing this? I figured an automated version of the popular “robot sweeper” things would be a better solution. I tried it. I toyed with it, watched as it maneuvered around the furniture, casually mapping the floor plan, running into walls, oblivious to the fact that it was under a table or chair, vacuum robot just churning along. That thing ran well for a little while, then it started having issues. My long hair would get wrapped around the brush thing, causing a system failure notice. The edge of the bathroom rug would get sucked into the intake and choke the machine, again, a system failure. To be fair, this was an experimental model for me, a cheap one. One time it got stuck in a loop with some electrical extension cords tucked up against a wall, the poor robot vacuum unable to move forwards or backwards, a skittish colt, pinned in, a soldier, under fire, pinned down. It was a great idea, but the vagaries of where I live, my furniture and so forth? Didn’t work. Which was why I got a cheap one, to start with, to see if it was usable, see if it was functional. Give it a try. Might work. Or, my example, it didn’t work, but at the very least, I tried to find a solution.

  Scorpio

  Amusing, for me, and given my sensibilities? One would wonder. But amusing, to me? The story of the invention of the Flaming Cheetos flavor. Got a movie made about it. Fascinating tale, no small amount of gumption, and what does a snack have to do with Scorpio’s week? I noticed this first, a few years back but the grocery store sushi had one version of a roll that was dusted with Flaming Cheeto dust, as a garnish. Towards that end, I started to wonder what else Flaming Cheetos could be paired with, as a garnish. It adds negligible nutritional value, but the heat kicks it up a notch, and then there’s the color. There’s texture, too, a bonus as a garnish. Best of all? It’s appropriately low-brow. Instead of making this fancy? Add some Scorpio kick with something as simple as the dust from the bottom of a bag of Cheetos. Flaming Hot Cheetos are best. Crunchy. Zesty. Just what you need.

  Sagittarius

  Decades past, I found a structure that comfortable for me: the 12 signs of the zodiac, often referred to as “Western Astrology.” Based upon more than two millennia of accumulated lore, the patterns are distinct, in my own mind. Not arguing the existence of scientific proof, just stating my current position and understanding. But within that framework, I’ve found a lot of wiggle room, and I’ve been able to study more than one school of thought about the position of the planets, like “This is bad; no, this is good.” Which one is it? Depends. What matters, moving along through this next few days, what affects gentle Sagittarius? I have a solid framework that I use for a foundation, but what matters, now, is being able to bend, fold, and flow around the obstacles. Or perceived obstacles. Or, in another way? Flow and fold.

  Capricorn

  It’s an inner turmoil caused by the relative tickle from the tiniest of the planets. Resulted in confusion. “Confused Capricorn?” That’s about it. Can’t fix it, either. The new Virgo moon should be a gentle shove to get your butt in gear towards specific, stated goals, but tension from Mars, opposite from you, then the layering in of the motions and shifts of Venus and Mercury? Yeah, confused Capricorn it is, indeed. Heading out, see astrofish.net/travel for details, but headed off in one direction? I asked the phone’s directional software to point me in a particular way. It gave me three options. I pointed to one but noted that there was a possible alternative route that might be faster. Keep those options open, Capricorn, as more information comes out and we might want to change out routing. Siri chimed in, “You can save 15 minutes by following my new route.”

  Aquarius

  Been some years since I’ve had this problem: Tennis Elbow. The name derives from tennis players who suffered repetitive stress injuries, inflamed tendons, sore elbow joints, from whacking the same kind of ball, over and over, in the same place, using the same motion. Which, oddly enough, then limits the range of motion, using the same motion. Doctor looked at me, nurse took my blood pressure, I joked about giving blood and marriage, then I held my arm out. Doc pushed one way then another, and finally came back with “Tennis Elbow.” As I suspected. Cure? Don’t do that. It’s a — simple enough — repetitive stress injury, fixable with OTC (ibuprofen) non-steroid anti-inflammatory. Better yet? Isolate the motion that causes the problem then restructure my life so that I don’t do that anymore. When the keyboard on the stand-up desk is canted a certain way, and when I hit the delete key repeatedly? That’s the set up. Maybe more information about what I’m not writing than what I’m writing. All I really needed to do was shift the location of the desktop keyboard around.

  Pisces

  There’s a shot you’ve got, a single option, one play to make, insert some kind of apt sports metaphor? Sure, whatever works. Fishing, the other afternoon, on a bass boat, up a creek, sort of, hot afternoon, and there was a single spot, a single place where a big old girl was lurking, but repeatedly flailing the water surface would drive that big fish away. The trick, one shot, drop a juicy-looking lure right in front of that fish, and it’s on! However, like Pisces, like now, like this week, there’s just one cast, one shot, a single attempt that would work for this. You got one shot. Go ahead and take it. But remember: it’s called “fishing,” not called “catching.”

  Aries

  It’s not a big deal, well, to one Aries, it is a big deal, but to the rest? It’s not a big deal, or not the big deals, but hints floating at the periphery of one’s vision. Not something directly in front of you, but off to one side, over yonder, or, as soon as you turn your attention to that item that was bouncing along merrily at the edge of what you can see. It’s blurry. It’s indistinct, unknowable. Most important? It’s at the periphery. Out at the edge, at point, where, almost, you can’t quite see what it is. There’s an elusive quality to the light, a trick your vision plays on you, a subtle subconscious reminder, something, not quite where you can see it, but the idea is present. Venus moves out, Mercury moves in, Saturn, and Neptune, are in residence. It’s at the periphery. Can’t quite see it, but you know it’s there.

  Taurus

  Conventional wisdom suggests picking a single direction, pulling on just one thread, and following that singular instance until it reveals whatever it is that it was supposed to reveal to Taurus. Single. Singular. Just one. That’s conventional wisdom from the stars. My own version, just as something a little different? Realize that Virgo is mutable earth sign, while gentle Taurus is a fixed earth sign, and then, look at trying more than one approach to find that solution. Replace “single” and “singular” with “multiple.” Not wedded to a single outcome? Multiple attempts at different times, and in different guises, that helps. More than one. Try more than one. Try more than one way. Follow that handful of threads and see what one bears fruit. You’ll be surprised, it’s always the last one you think would work. Try more than one, to get there.

  Gemini

  I cut down on the news that I receive. I got to a point where I could get some stuff, like an almost daily e-mail, with a set of headlines, and perhaps one in-depth exploration of a single topical element. Because I have this material set to arrive via e-mail? It’s in a single, digestible format for me. While it tends to arrive overnight, I won’t get it until I’m ready, in the morning, fortified with coffee, or something stronger, and ready to greet the day. News, good, bad, and otherwise, political polemics, war, pestilence, and hopefully, some glad tidings, too. Sitting in a waiting room, paused at a coffee shop, in the privacy of my own home, I’ve got time to peruse said news, when, how I want. Phone, tablet, computer’s big screen, I can read any, all, or just a portion of the material. Then I hit delete and move on, perhaps better informed, maybe not. What I have, though, is this divided into a just two sources, and of the two, while not diametrically opposed, there are opposing viewpoints, and that helps. But most of all, I can hit the delete icon and be done with the news portion of the day. Simple. Limited. Informed, but not swimming in the mass media. Two pieces of mail that easy to deal with, and that’s the starting point. Not too much information, got that Gemini?

  Cancer

  “Faux Fall” is around the corner, at least, where I live. It’s not real, it’s just a pretend set of days wherein the temperature appears to drop a bit, it seems like summer’s heat is over, and then? There’s the cruel intention and heat of summer back on full furnace. Portions of my homeland haven’t changed in the few days since school started, and the hellish heat is still with us. But “Faux Fall” is real a teaser, and the phase of the moon teases this one out of the sky.

  The Leo

  Little machinations, little motions in the heavens have profound effects on The Leo. I get stuck on random bits of Shakespeare scholarship, study and trivia, not that there’s much difference in my mind, and then I hear something that means something in the moment, only, now it’s lost. Likewise for The Leo? You heard something, the other day, the other afternoon, earlier today, maybe? Meant to write that down, and you didn’t. Where is that data point now? Lost to the ethers. Or lost in space, whatever works for you fine self. Moving forward? The motion of Mercury, more than anything, will infuse a sense of wonder and merriment in The Leo, and don’t get lost in the good times, and then? Don’t forget to make a note of that point you meant to make a note of.

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