“If you will then see the fruits of the sport, mark his first approach before my lady. He will come to her in yellow stockings, and ’tis a color she abhors, and cross-garter’d, a fashion she detests; and he will smile upon her, which will now be so unsuitable to her disposition, being addicted to a melancholy as she is, that it cannot but turn him into a notable contempt. If you will see it, follow me.”

• Maria, in Shakespeare’s
  12th Night (2.5.96)

Cross garter’d. Sometimes known as ugly on a stick.

Horoscopes for 11-26-2020

Sagittarius

I passed the quarter-century mark some time distant, so there is that. Means I’ve been doing this for a spell, and I have experience. Not good, not bad, just an observation. Time spent rotating charts around and listening to people talk about how the planets have an impact on what aspects of their lives. There’s not a lot I haven’t seen; that’s not a challenge. It also means that I can be more objective about what it is that needs to go. What to let go of, and what not to keep in this holiday season. What matters, and what doesn’t matter. The pandemic brings a lot of focus. Time spent with family and friends? Usually good. Time spent shopping, unless this is purely sport? Not as much fun. What matters most, to Sagittarius? As I see momentous birthday rapidly approaching, this is about letting go of what no longer serves our Sagittarius higher self. Too mystical? Let go of stuff that isn’t fun, or, at the very least wryly amusing.

Capricorn

Every time I’ve moved, to a trailer park in Austin then further south to San Antonio, each move has been my “forever” place. That’s just shy of half a dozen “forever”places. That’s three or four times, I’ve said, resolutely, “I will never move again.” See where this might be headed, dear Capricorn?

Careful with absolute statements. Proclamations about “Never again!” Or, “Not doing this anymore,” or whatever the situation is? There’s an instrumental player rumbling along in Capricorn and that suggests a few changes are going to occur. We can make this easy, or we can make this into a big deal, but I’m not sure that making it into a “big deal” is the best idea for you. Jupiter, Saturn, and Pluto are asking for some fundamental changes. However, making an assumption that this is “For-ever?” How about, “I can see this lasting a long time,” as an answer? Take the “in perpetuity,” and “evergreen” out of there Capricorn equation.

Aquarius

I have a crap-load of Shakespeare texts that I might never get around to. I bought various texts when it seemed like a good idea. I would have time, sometime, to read another biography, or a treatment on a single aspect of Shakespeare’s work, or a piece of one play, some kind of in-depth analysis of that. Yes, big plans. And half those books are untouched. Not untouched, as I’ve moved the shelving around, and I’ve gotten rid of a bunch of my textbooks that went unread, but still. Moving books from nightstand to shelf, to another shelf, that doesn’t count as reading the text. Some of these were critically acclaimed books, while others caught my attention, and at least one was highly recommended by a colleague — that was one I liked. Weird take on Shakespeare, but who knows? Time to sort out what matters, for Aquarius and time to realize what is extraneous noise. For me, as an example, I’ve got two of those Shakespeare texts, never cracked open, and they get donated to the library. Public library, a personal favorite, and the real goal, is to make sure I don’t buy those books back at the next library book sale. Same would apply to Aquarius.

Pisces

Middle of this holiday season, well, in a few days, maybe a week or more? My poor, pandemic-stricken, much put-out, Pisces friend? Going to be that moment of exasperation. That moment, when you look at a situation, and the players involved, and wonder, seriously, “Do these people dress themselves on their own?” See? This is an event that is approaching, and with its approach, what we can do now, to get ready? I think of this like a “hurricane box,” or, in a previous life, a tornado closet. Not that I keep I lot of stuff on hand, but there’s always a case of water, couple of packages of granola bars, instant coffee, and Slim-Jims. Toilet paper, paper towels, who knew those were needed, as well? Think I’ve actually moved to a knock-off brand of slim-jim, which is nothing more than meat, grease, animal parts, lots of sodium, and a collection of chemicals — the shelf life? There is no expiration date, which, in and of itself, should be a warning. The question, then are you Pisces-prepared? Are you ready for the unsettling discombobulation that is rapidly approaching? For me? I can just hide in the tornado closet until this emotional storm blows over. That might be an idea that holds water for Pisces.

Aries

There’s always the trap of “More is Better.” The analogy, “If one is good, then let’s get a at least a dozen, right?” Wrong. Not always wrong, but in this next few days, the trap is more isn’t always better. Mars, Moon, and eventually, even a little lift from Venus herself, but what this does? It suggests that “More — more — more” is what Aries needs right now.

No.

Can’t get more direct, more Aries like than that. Simple answer, “No.” More doesn’t help. More doesn’t make it better. More isn’t an answer. Now, I’m not one to refuse a good deal, and if there is a place where “more” would really work, sure. Then, there’s the old joke, and I’ve used this before, “They say, ‘money won’t buy happiness,’ but isn’t it worth trying?” So more money would be good, but otherwise? Just more for the sale of more? It’s Mars, plus those other planets, but mostly just Mr. Mars, applying pressure. What it means? Maybe “more” isn’t the answer to this week’s Aries riddle.

Taurus

Need a lower barrier. I was looking at some apps I’d bought for my phone. Or tablet, one of those, couple of apps that I bought, I used, then over time, gradually abandoned. Periodically, I do a little “housecleaning” on electronic hardware, shucking and tossing that which no longer serves me. Looking at that, I remember why I bought that one app, it made a process easier for a little while. I also recall that the developer disappeared, and quit supporting the app, so it was no longer updated. Then, with that in mind, after a systems upgrade, I found that the app no longer really functioned. Still, for some reason, I was holding onto a cheap digital purchase. I wound up with that app because of the “lower barrier,” the cost of admission, the price I paid to get in, the idea that the original price was less than a single dollar. I don’t care if it isn’t updated, I found quicker ways to do what it was designed to do, and that’s not what this is about. For Taurus, that lower barrier is what worked. That 99-cent deal? That’s what we’re looking for, and, that’s what helps move Taurus forward, a lowered barrier to entrance. Even, if, like that digital stuff I abandoned later.

Gemini

Couple of weeks back, a fishing buddy texts me, asking what I’m doing. Me thinking it’s about a possible fishing trip, I respond immediately, with “Yes, I’m free.” He had me babysit his 6-year old son for a few hours. Now, to some, this would be work, but I’m better than any grandpa, seeing as how the — it’s tortured at best. Then, too, I like using that kid as bait. Standing in line at a Starbucks, same kid, one time, I looked at him, and said, “Turn on the charm,” because, obviously I was trying to impress someone. Nothing. But in an organic situation, that kid is wonderfully charming. Or, if you have a puppy, or something to eat? Sugar infused goodness? Yes, he can be all smiles and wonderful. I made a deal with him, I wanted to record a video of him saying, “These are not the droids you want,” and that’s an obvious, somewhat dated, topical pop-culture allusion. However, it was also the way he works, little tyke has mind control ability. The outcome was that the kid wound up with a box of glazed donuts, and his baby-mama, who finally picked him up? She was none too pleased. As my buddy suggested, that was just a bonus. These are mere variants on modern life, and the kid himself, sweet, shy, outgoing, demonstrative, affectionate, and willfully manipulative. Gemini: helping someone out gets you what you want, and there’s a bonus associated with it.

Cancer

There is a “love/hate” relationship I have with the holiday season. One of the most poignant quotes I recall? It was in a film, not a title I can recall, but the line, after a disastrous Thanksgiving family get-together? “Only three more weeks to Christmas!” What this week feels like in the Moon Children segment? The situations, especially, I can’t speak for others, but family with resident rivalries, old hurts and perceived sleights? Long-festering pain can resurface. This is actually pushed to the forefront by a variety of material, and what is frequently missed? There’s a chance to heal some of this. Didn’t say it would be easy, and probably includes a little confrontation for Cancer, like, “When you say that, I get angry.” You get angry because I suggest you might want to confront some old fears and past damage that was all swept under the carpet to be avoided in perpetuity until, well, now? Holidays add tension, and this tension is best if we have an answer for it. Can be a variety of outlets and varies from individual to individual, but in my mind, don’t ask if I do this in person, but in my mind? Always come from point of love. “Love you but…”

The Leo

On TV, especially half-hour shows? All they have to do? Step in the next area, not even a different room, and that makes it impossible for the people within feet of them, not to hear a word. On stage, think of the scene in Twelfth Night wherein Sir Toby, Sir Andrew, Maria, mock Malvolio with a letter. (Act II, scene v) Depends on how it is staged, but usually, they are no more than three feet away, carrying on a staged-whispered conversation about the contents of the letter and the outcome. But I was thinking about this as a TV show, moving a few feet away, and then, the other characters not being able to hear what is being said. I know for entertainment purposes, we must always suspend our understanding of reality, cf., the fineprint, but in this week’s Leo application of planets and such? Realize, while it works on stage or works in a TV show? Might not work like that in the real world. “Here, let me tell you a secret...”

Virgo

Ever heard the loudspeaker announcement, “Department 51,” and something like “aisle 14?” That’s, allegedly, a security code. Saying something like “Department 51,” I immediately thought about Area 51, but that story’s been debunked. So what I was led to believe, when the loudspeaker says “Department 51, aisle 14?” that’s a sign that there is a security problem on that aisle. Gives a location. I know there are various “code” colors, like code red, or code blue, but I would think those would be a dead give-away as to meaning. The only one I’m willing to stick around for? “Manager needed at the cashier,” means they refused to refund my money, or a credit card bounced. Something simple. These are telltale sounds, symbols, and noises that haunt our modern world. Listen for the clues. This week, for Virgo, the clues are less than obvious. Still there, but couched within innocuous terms, like “Department 51, aisle 14, please.” It’s the background noise that holds the Virgo material answers.

Libra

Couple of years back, I used to find knock-off aviator-polarized framed sunglasses, super-cheap. Perfect for fishing. Perfect for everyday wear, and a style I prefer. At a price point that only I can truly appreciate. The challenge, the sunglasses were cheap hardware and after repeated abuse, the lens would pop out. I was down to just one or two pair left, I was buying them every time I found them, at $5, that was cheap — and good. They were good quality cheap sunglasses. The last pair is on life support now. More as a relic of times gone by, rather than some object that I ascribe with great meaning, but still. What I did, the frames were starting to bend too far and not hold the lens in, so I used a single drop of super-glue. It was a superior effort, and just a single, not even a whole drop, just a touch of the stuff. Holds those frames together for another season, I hope. So far, though, I have to say, I’ve got my money’s worth, as they lasted longer than the expected time, and with the careful application of super-glue, might make it another season yet. Simple, easy repair. Just a dot of that super-glue, and we’re ready to roll on through the holidays, pain-free.

Scorpio

There’s a trick, I’ve used this for years. Think I learned it from an old girlfriend. In the kitchen? When there’s a jar with the lid screwed so tight that it is “hard to open?” I upend the jar, and smack the bottom the glass container with my palm. Frequently, that loosens the seal, and when the seal is loosened, it makes that screw-on lid much easier to remove, which is what this is all about. In life, in Scorpio at the moment, we all need a little assistance. Couple of warnings, as this tend to only really work with glass jars, got to be careful about smacking its ass, as there is easily too much force, and Mars, where it is? Compared to Scorpio? You’d be tempted to shatter the glass, which, if you think about it, is one way to open that container, but not the best. Or just the idea. The point of this exercise is to understand that there’s tight seal, and just breaking the seal makes everything easier, and I’m all about “easier for Scorpio,” am I right? Smack the bottom, but not so hard that it shatters or matters. Enough to jiggle the seal loose, but careful, some Scorpio’s fail to know their own strengths. Then, too, if this allegorical? Smacking someone on the butt can be taken the wrong way.

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