“Winning will put any man into courage.”

    Cloten in Shakespeare’s Cymbeline (II.iii.4)

Horoscopes starting 5.24.2018

N.B.: updated Updated terms of service, the “fineprint.”

Gemini

Gemini

The Twins


For close to three decades, I’ve been calculating astrology charts and then, interpreting the results of the calculations. Part science, part metaphysical, and part human. Every time I open my mouth, I have no plan. Some days, I’m just as surprised as the next person, as to what falls out. Some days, it surprises me to hear what I’m saying as much as it catches the recipient off-guard. Do this long enough, and I get accustomed to it. Well, sort of. Some days, even now, I still surprise myself with what I say. The challenge being, once I’ve said it? Once the “Cat is out of the bag?” Once that material is launched, there is no way to un-launch, retract, or otherwise, suck it back in. In other words, there is no way to un-say it. This is a cautionary tale for my lovely — happy birthday — Gemini friends. I tend to open my mouth, and let my little demons do the talking, or the subconscious, or whatever. “You didn’t think that one through, did you?” I rarely do. Surprises me as much as it surprises them. However, although this works for my style? As a birthday — Gemini-time — person? That style of being surprised at what comes out of your mouth? Might not be the best course, but just for the time being. And, again, Happy Birthday.

Cancer

The Crab - the Moonchild

The Crab


With the summer getting on, and the heat arriving in full furnace mode, me and buddy were talking fishing techniques. All about how land a particular bait, in special place, and how to manipulate the pole so that the bait itself can works its magic. While I’ve used a similar reference before, when I spun up your planets in a chart and looked? All I could think was “Fishing.” He used to suggest a “Two-count” pause, after the bait had settled on the bottom, or settled in the weeds, wherever the bait was supped to be settled. Then jiggle the tip. Two count. One two. Hear the problem, or see the possible misunderstanding?
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    Nine changes of the wat’ry star hath been
    The shepherd’s note since we have left our throne
    Without a burden.

Polixenes in Shakespeare’s The Winter's Tale 1.2.1-3

Gemini starts, the Sun moves into the Tropical Zodiac Sign of Gemini on May 20, 2018, at 8:14 PM. See finerprint for details as the numbers are reliable but not always exact.

Horoscopes starting 5.17.2018

Taurus

Taurus

The Bull


The remaining few, many happy solar returns! (Happy birthday, baby!) Speaking of which, I got in so much trouble the other day, petite Taurus female, I called her “baby.” That set off a chain reaction that almost became a major incident, an international incident, possibly an act of war. First off, I am way too old to care, and way too old even entertain notions of — whatever — with that one Taurus. Cute, attractive, you know, all the right parts in all the right places, plus that sensual swagger that only the birthday person can effect?

Roll with it. However, the problem, the challenge, my big mistake? “Hey baby, what’s up?” I hope I recall, not to call her baby in the future. It’s generic. Call some guys that, too. Not really gender specific, not that it matters, no, there’s a universality I tend to assign to certain terms. Apparently, not everyone subscribes to my individualized belief, and not everyone thinks I have zero evil intent in my hapless ways. As Mars bumps into Aquarius, like this and as Venus shifts signs, too, there’s a chance that, birthday wishes and all, there’s a good chance that you manage to enrage someone. Like me, with zero intent to do so, I wasn’t being sexist or elitist, but — apparently — my actions came off that way. With that in mind, recall Mr. Mars, and Miss Venus, understand that might be friction in some other person’s chart, and this is no reflection on your Taurus self.

“Right, babe?”

Gemini

Gemini

The Twins


I suspect this is a highly localized and rather personal example, but it fits with the birthdays, motion of the planets, and everything else. Plus, for a few select individuals, by the time you get around to reading this? Happy birthday! Love me my wacky Gemini friends. Love you guys bunches. The example is eating peanut butter from the jar. But this goes a step further than just eating peanut butter, it’s the pleasure of corrupting small minds. In my example, it was my fishing buddy’s kid. Kids, really, I was in charge of two of them at the time, just an emergency, he had to go out on an oil rig at the last minute, and he was supposed to be off, so I got two kids for a few hours. Hungry kids, and at their ages, I know better than to try and shepherd those two someplace. Doesn’t work, not for me, I don’t have the patience, dollars, or energy. However, I can contain them in the back yard, usually. But this time, they were hungry.
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Too hot, too hot!
To mingle friendship far is mingling bloods.

    Leontes in Shakespeare’s
    The Winter's Tale (I.i.9-10)

NB: Mexican Mother’s Day — 5/10. Mars enters the tropical zodiac sign of Aquarius 5.15.2018.

Horoscopes starting 5.10.2018

Taurus

Taurus

The Bull


Ever look at the pictures of stuff, like, a recipe, online? The finished dish is always beautiful, colorful, neatly arranged, and the kitchen in the background: All neat and tidy. Perhaps a little bit of flour is strategically dusted across a prep surface but yeah, all of that? Totally staged. My experience? The end product never looks like those cute pictures online.

I think there’s a website devoted to comparisons of images of what the finished project should look like, and what the epic fail does look like.

Perhaps in a more Taurus comparison, it’s the collection of images of what the advertising shows fast-food is supposed to look like, and then the reality of what gets served? Imagine an image: tasty burger with fresh lettuce and juices glistening on the patty, ripe, red tomato slice, fresh-baked bun.

Now look at the last burger I pulled from a bag, smushed bread, greenish tomato, wilted lettuce. Soggy bun from having absorbed too much grease. Not nearly the same thing that was displayed on the menu.

As we celebrate the Taurus birthdays, be more aware of “promised” appearance and “real” appearance. Just helps to adjust the Taurus (birthday) expectations.

Gemini

Gemini

The Twins


Familiar expression? Familiar sentiment? “We’ll clean it up in post.” “Post” refers to “post production,” or, in other words, “we’ll fix this later. Not now.” The deal is, I was looking at some “artwork” — graphic files — I use on a website. I had, my intentions were in place, to fix a few stray problems with the images, you know, run them through a few filters, tweak the original source files then make them look better? Pop the colors; make the hues sing. Best of intentions on my part, I was going to clean those images up in “post.” That was always the plan. As a Gemini, know where this is going?
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    “O, sir, to such as boasting show their scars
    A mock is due. Will you walk on, my lord?
    She was belov’d, she lov’d; she is, and doth:
    But still sweet love is food for fortune’s tooth.”
    Exeunt.

Troilus in Shakespeare’s Troilus and Cressida IV.v.290-3

    “A mock is due,” and one buddy coined an expression, “Drink-O de Mayo.”

Yes, and there’s always his conclusion, too, “sweet love is food for fortune’s tooth.” Hint: doesn’t end well.

Our terms of service, the fineprint may have changed. Please read it all and understand you agree to it. All of it. You will be tested at a later date.

Horoscopes starting 5.3.2018

Taurus

Taurus

The Bull


My horoscope for Taurus ends when — this week — about the same time Jupiter is opposite from the Sun. “Opposites are bad?” Not really, but it is a building and cresting kind of energy, and like a wave about to break, it hasn’t got there yet. But close, so close it a very palpable energy. The easiest use of this energy is get in the flow and realize that this is not exactly coherent, not exactly congruent, but certainly useful luck. Luck is, at best a gamble, and the odds are long, but the I’m a “long shot” kind of a guy. As a Taurus, though, I would suspect you’re less of a “beat the insurmountable odds” type of person.

As the Taurus birthdays roll through, take a shot. I didn’t say bet the farm, I didn’t say jump and hope someone can build wings as your fine Taurus self plummets downward. I didn’t say take a huge leap of faith, but in my mind, the simplest way to see this? Buy a lotto ticket. Costs a buck.

There’s a jarring, not bad, just one of those, “No one expected that” kind of energy. I just want to help to along. Buy a single lotto ticket.

Taurus: when you win big next week, I would like 1% — I’m not greedy.

Gemini

Gemini

The Twins


Ever seen those “smart” thermostats? The programmable, and now, there’s an app for that controls for the home AC/Heat? Yes, one of those. Coming back from the lake, fishing the other day, I stopped for a cool beverage, naughty little gesture where I got diet coke, really, a fountain Diet Dr Pepper, but never mind, the chemicals, the carbonation, the stained water, none of it is good, but it tastes so great, and after fishing, yes, it was rather warm, I deserved it — pictures are on the website someplace. Anyway, I looked down at my phone, and I cranked the AC back down. Usually, when I’m away, it heats right up. Saves money. But this was a hot afternoon on the water, yes, rather warm for early May, so I tapped the app to fix the AC at home.
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“Marry, that should you if I were your mistress,
or I should think my honesty ranker than my wit.”

Rosalind in Shakespeare’s As You Like It IV.i.32

Horoscopes starting 4.26.2018

Taurus

Taurus

The Bull


Buddy of mine, fancies himself a bit of an adept, suggested that I only used the Sun Signs when I wrote my horoscopes. Not entirely true. For example, this week in Taurus? Simple advice, “Double-down.” Double-down, double-up, take two, and? If one is good, then two are better! Simply put, double. Two. Twice as much. Yes there are birthdays, but there is also Venus, the Taurus planet, in Gemini, the sign of the twins, and that suggests?

Taurus: Double Down. Double Up. If you usually take one? Take two. If you usually only do it once, do it twice.

This is a function of your Taurus planet, in the sign of the twins. Calls for twice as much of whatever it is.

You can thank me, twice, later.

And a very happy birthday to you, too. Two. Twice. Happy birthday wishes, twice over.

Gemini

Gemini

The Twins


As a good Gemini, and, if you’re reading this, the odds are good that you’re good and odd, but that doesn’t matter, as a good Gemini, you’re ready to get a jump on the rest of this crap, headed into this summer season. It is summer around here. Best I got. Warm. Not full-on heat yet, but it will be a hot one. As the good Gemini, you’re ready to get a jump on what’s headed this way. Get some homework out of the way, that stuff you can prepare in advance? Yes, get that done. What this is really about, though, as Venus makes her way through your sign?
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    These be good humors indeed! Shall pack-horses
    And hollow pamper’d jades of Asia,
    Which cannot go but thirty mile a day,
    Compare with Caesars and with Cannibals
    And Troiant Greeks? Nay, rather damn them with
    King Cerberus, and let the welkin roar.
    Shall we fall foul for toys?

Pistol in Shakespeare’s Henry 4.2 II.iv.57-61

Happy Birthday Shakespeare, and happy St. George’s Day, patron saint — it’s a Taurus thing, the rest of you won’t understand.

The Sun moves into Taurus on April 19, at 10:12 PM (local).

Always an amusing trivial note, the assumed birthday of one William Shakespeare is, at best, a historical guess and educated estimate, rather than fact. Thus noted? It is observed on April 23 (Taurus sun sign).

Horoscopes starting 4.19.2018

Taurus

Taurus

The Bull


Tools tend to define most of my work. Artwork I do is limited to what tools are on hand. While I like the idea of using a “LeatherMan (tm)” type of tool to accomplish everything, in the real world, such devices are limited by functional qualities. I can use the awl to punch a single hole in a sandal’s leather, or use the pliers to grab a simple task that just required a little extra leverage, but that’s about it. Not exactly a production piece of equipment. The same applies to the software tools I use for the heavy-lifting, graphics management, and word-processors, as well as page-layout. The tools tend to define the outcome. As a Taurus, happy William Shakespeare Birthday, I let my tools dictate the most expedient route from my idea to what is produced. For graphics, especially, and this a Taurus birthday time, for the images I use, I tend to let some simple, stock manipulations be adequate. Nothing too fancy. That gets into “feature creep,” and I prefer simple, perhaps a little raw, with a minimal amount of adjustments. The software allows for endless ways to fiddle with the material; don’t make this too complicated.

Taurus: It’s birthday time, so let’s use what simple tools are here, and not complicate matters.

Gemini

Gemini

The Twins


It’s a time for the “doppelgänger” — the self as you might not see yourself, but as you might appear. Future Gemini, past Gemini, ghost of yourself? Yes, that type of “doppelgänger.” I ran into a fellow Sagittarius, you like us fine, and his chart was ten years younger than me, but the placement of a number of planets were eerily similar. Moon, Mars, and Venus, all the same. Cool, but spooky. I realized as I watched him offload for a show, that I was looking at someone at a similar point in his career to where I was ten or twelve years ago. I sold different products so my unloading and setting up was different by design, but the sentiment was the exact same.
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