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"Hark! Hark! The lark at heaven's gate sings,
And Phoebus 'gins arise,
His steed to water at those springs
On chalic'd flowers that lies."
Shakespeare's Cymberline [II.iii.11]

    For the week starting: 1/21/2010
    Fishing Guide to the Stars

Mercury, Mars, Mayhem, ahem, omen, amen. (Well, it did make some kind of sense at the time; special thanks & notation here.) Aquarius: In the sign that precedes you, I've admonished the Capricorns to look at the holes, and see if there isn't information there.

    "Be still, be quiet and look where there isn't anything," that would be the message for them.

As an Aquarius, the message is totally different. Be loud, obnoxious, and in the way. Between the two retrograde planets, especially Mars, there's a problem. I'd suggest that your little Aquarius self is going to be horrifically wrong about something, very soon.

In the next couple of days. That's why I suggest you enter talking, make a big splash and let it all fall where it might. No big deal. Under that torrential output of Aquarius words, there will be a right answer, but the wrong answers outnumber the right by a factor of 3 to 1. Three wrongs don't make a right, but three lefts do.

This isn't about simple and easy stuff, this is about harnessing the apparent confusion. Understand that you're probably going to make a mistake or two. Just hope that one of the words winds up being correct. Last time I bought a lottery ticket, the guy at the service station told me that all the numbers will win -- eventually. Pisces: "La Santisima Muerte" -- she (or he) goes by many names -- is a recent addition to the pantheon of saints. I doubt it's a sanctioned saint, either, although, the last time I checked, the candles and memorabilia was readily available, right next to St. Jude and St. Christopher.
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Fishing Guide to the Stars
For the week starting: 1.14.2010

"Superfluity comes sooner by white hairs, but competency lives longer."
Shakespeare's The Merchant of Venice [I.ii.8]

(Problems with registration, superfluity, &c.? Please e-mail immediately.)

Jupiter enters Pisces this week. Mars is retrograde. Mercury is almost not retrograde.

(Problems with registration &c.? Please e-mail.) Capricorn: Scene from mall life? Sure, best way to give an example of what this week will hold in the land of Capricorn. I was in the mall, obviously, and I was -- as is my style -- patiently observing some humanity. Heavy-set woman, girl to me, walked by. She had on leggings of some sort that were too tight and too revealing -- not in a flattering way -- and her legs were then stuffed into a pair of knee high cowboy boot looking footwear. Boots.

    Snakeskin boots.

Snakeskin boots that were knee high, and those boots? Four-inch heels. I live in a world where four-inch heels on snakeskin boots is okay. That bothered me more than any of the associated visuals. However, after I thought about it, I mean, it's the middle of January, it was characteristically cold, and the outfit? It sort of fit. In a strange way, it fit right in.

I'm guessing, just a hunch, but I'm guessing that the odd attire vote goes to Capricorn. Weird, strange, unhinged and a little unbalanced? Sure. I've told you that it's the case and since the situation is dictated by the stars? I'd go ahead and suggest that this is the time to embrace that "inner weirdness," and go ahead, wear it like it's high fashion. You can pull it off, easily.

All about attitude. Aquarius: "So I got to meet the new daughter-in-law this last Christmas," a fishing buddy was explaining.

How'd that go? "Well," my buddy drawled, "she's a keeper, for sure. She shot the turkey herself -- took it with a bow. Cleaned and cooked the bird." Shot it, cleaned it, cooked it. Me? I was fine with all that until it came to bow part.
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Fishing Guide to the Stars
For the week starting: 1.7.2010

"His brains are forfeit to the next tile that falls."
Shakespeare's All's Well That Ends Well [IV.iii.185]

(Problems with registration &c.? Please E-mail.) Capricorn: In the older astrological texts I've consulted, the medical term is "nerves." That's a generalization for what wasn't too well understood at the time. It can be a biological condition, a neurological condition or it can be a mental condition. I like the term "nerves," much better. Sort of a graphic, catch-all expression that implies the condition might be any of the above reasons, biological, physical, mental, neurological, even environmental. That's the "nurture versus nature" argument, too. Can't say which one is more important. Genetics or learned behaviors? This can encompass a whole spectrum of ailments.

The biggest ailment, as I see it? Nerves. The nerves situation is made a whole lot worse by the Pluto position especially with it lined up against the Saturn placement. Then, too, there's the Mars (RX in Leo) and Mercury is retrograde in Capricorn. All adds up to a situation where you're not able to put your finger on the ailment. Not this week. You can be a nervous wreck, or you might start exhibiting some signs of an unknowable illness, or it might be stress, or it could be many influences.

Personally, I'd prefer to call it "nerves." Your nerves are shot. Way it is. Blame what you want. Me? I'm a professional, so I can blame the planets. Now, the solution? I'd just use a tincture of "Kramer's Mercury is RX medicine." That ought to help settle your nerves, a little. Aquarius: Proper planning can lead to "Plausible deniability." Good concept. Think ahead. Do you have an excuse? A perfectly rational, logical, perhaps even time-stamped for the legendary iron-clad seal of approval. Yes, that's what we're looking for in Aquarius land. Good planning and proper execution of the plan, that's how this works for no problems in the land of the Water Bearer (Aquarius). Got to have a plan. Got to be thinking in advance. Got to have some semblance of an idea, an excuse, a valid excuse, one that is without reproach. Got all this?

You did have a plan, didn't you? No plan? Then here's where I earn my money, a second time, first, I warned you that you needed a plan, and a good alibi. Failing at that?
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Fishing Guide to the Stars
For the week starting: 12.31.2009

"The devil it is that's thy master"
Lord Lafew in Shakespeare's All's Well That Ends Well [II.iii.244]

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2010, the year in preview:

The calendar new year means that there's a fresh start available. A new way, put the best foot forward? With Mercury and Mars in an apparent backwards motion, though, well, I wondering what that step will be like.

Mercury started a retrograde pattern weeks before the year's end, and that pattern holds up -- in Capricorn -- until 1/15/2010. Again -- in Taurus -- 4/18 to 5/10. And continues -- in Virgo -- 8/20 to 9/12. The pattern's completed in December, when Mercury goes retrograde in Capricorn -- but backs into the last third of Sagittarius -- 12/10 to 12/29. For more about Mercury Retrograde, see the text.

Venus has a retrograde pattern starting in Scorpio, but in the long six weeks? Backs down into the last part of Libra, 10/9 to 11/17.

One of the most important planet patterns, to me, is the long Mars retrograde, started before Xmas '09, and continues until March 10. However, to make sure that Mars spikes the ball on this one? Mars appears almost stationary at Zero Degrees Leo for the first part of March. Mars backwards isn't bad, per se, but the weekly scopes detail ideas on how handle the resultant energies.

Jupiter hits Pisces 1/18 making fast tracks all the way to Aries 6/6, then appearing to go backwards from 7/22 until 11/17. Jupiter doesn't make it back into Aries until 1/2/2011.

Saturn appears to retrograde -- starting in Libra -- from 1/13, entering Virgo 4/6, and finally appearing to move forward again 5/29, entering Libra again 7/22.

The patterns, in a big way? Here's an overview, by signs: Capricorn: Graham Crackers were an invention of a Rev. Graham, as part of a diet that was supposed to help suppress carnal urges. The name is owed, in part, to the original ingredient, which was "Graham Wheat," or, as it might be known today? "Whole Wheat," coarse, ground whole wheat. Except, the modern version of the Graham Cracker is usually bleached and processed flour, quite unlike its originator's intent. Then, too, the folks I know who follow a similar regimen to what that Rev. Graham was suggesting, those folk do it for the benefits of the healthy lifestyle choices, which oddly enough, includes increased libido. Just the opposite of what Rev. Graham was baking for, more than a hundred years ago.

With the "Earth Element" centered Mercury Cycle, like last year and going through this coming year? What you set out to do and what the net result is? Two entirely different critters, be my best bet. What was intended to mitigate the urges? That original Graham Cracker? Eventually, over time, it served to become a, well, to this day, in the grocery store, there, on shelf, the Graham Cracker Pie Crust.
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For the week starting: Dec. 24, 2009
"At Christmas I no more desire a rose
Than wish a snow in May's new fangled shows,
But like of each thing in season grows."
Berowne in Shakespeare's Love's Labor's Lost [I.i.105-7]
Mercury is backwards in Capricorn -- roughly the end of the year -- until January 15, 2010, in fact.

The OFFICIAL Fishing Guide to the Stars Xmas Card is here!

Weekly video, or as an audio file. Capricorn: Happy Birthday! Sure do love me my Cappy buddies. Especially these days. Yawl all full of that happy, freaky, holiday thing. I don't get it. Whatever is apparently normal for Capricorn, that isn't so. Whatever is usually a dour outlook? Again, not happening.

    There's a weird kind of mirth spreading, and I'm not sure you feel it at the onset of this week, but as the days roll by, it gets weirder and weirder, and you feel more, well, for lack of a better analogy, you feel more like it's a holiday. Which it is.
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