Week of: June 10 - 16

"Draw your neck out of you collar."
In Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet (I.i.4)

Aries: Many people cringe where they hear the word "karma" as if there is always something bad that's going to happen. In FGS terminology, karma refers to past lives with ex-wives and other sundry affairs which need to be cleaned up. Then there are also the rewards of hard work. You get to reap what you have sown, or, in more common language, think nice things and good things happen. what's that New Orlean's expression, the French one?

Taurus: The last of the dynamic duo heads out of your sign, and this leaves you feeling a little peckish. In fact, this would be good time to cozy up to a nice, neat Virgo for some action. That doesn't necessarily imply romance, but a partnership of some kind is in the wind, with a Virgo, later this week. Make sure the house is clean.

Gemini: Five star line up this week as Mercury, that impetuous ruler of yours, Mars, Venus, the Sun and the Moon all weave their way into your sign. Too bad Venus is still acting like an errant child, too, so romance doesn't hit full force -- at least, not yet. But you are getting wound up tight as can be, and things are looking up. You are really, really active right now. The New Moon is a great time to begin some new endeavor. Just watch the romance right now.

Cancer: Your money tree looks like it will bare fruit. That's the good news. It doesn't look like this harvest will come too soon, though, and you need to be aware of that. Relationships, especially of the romantic variety, seem to be a bit on edge lately, as if some one has irritated a sore a spot. Sorry about that. Just remember: in an outboard motor, there is a proper mixture of oil and gas to make the engine run smoothly. Make sure you have the right amount of oil to make the relationship motor run well.

Leo: The week starts out on an emotionally upbeat note. That's the good news. But by the end of the week, there are these little fears, not the big ones,mind you, just the little ones which all come crawling into your mind. I'm not a therapist, nor do I play one of TV, but some sort of self-help direction wouldn't be too bad, if nothing else, just to relieve yourself of these needless fears. And I won't tell anyone that a Leo might have some fear.

Virgo: Everybody else is having a tough go of it, and why should you be any different? At least, that should be your perspective for this week. In fact, just to address this specifically, have you ever thought about cleaning out the tackle box? Get all those nasty pieces of bait which have mutated into a new life form out of there? Straighten up around your workplace, too, because you are going to need a sense of order going into the weekend.

Libra: I've been accused of picking on Libra's because they can be so indecisive. It's that Scales and Balance thing, you know, the Libra ability to see everything from both sides. The deal is this: this week, you have a certain decisive quality about you, rather than an indecisive quality. Good week to fish or cut bait, as that proverbial expression goes, because you will find that your mind is razor sharp, and you can make quick (and accurate) decisions.

Scorpio: This week, the Scorpio tendency not to change is a good thing. There will be some unexpected events which will try to knock your off your path to destiny. Don't let the little guys get in your way right now. These events can be minor distractions, or they can be major occurrences which really shake you. Of course, after what you've been through already, nothing can be that serious, right?

Sagittarius: There is a great change going right now. And you are part of the leadership material for the next millennium. Good news. "Bad news?" you Sagittarius's ask. Sometimes we try to hold onto our home life a little too much. Relax and be a bit more carefree. Life is going to be good. And the planetary influence right now is merely asking for a change, not demanding it.

Capricorn: How's dream land, dear Capricorn friend? Hope all is well out there. You have all the drive and ability to achieve those things you want this week. Don't let aspirations which fall a little short of perfect get you down. There is a tendency, especially this week, to let a dream fade away because the harsh real world isn't as pretty as the picture you held in your head. You have to be willing to strive for the perfection. Kind of sounds like Virgo thing, doesn't it?

Aquarius: "He was like an exchange student from Uranus." is what Mick says in Michael Bishop's book, Count Geiger Blues. Sort of hits you in real big way this week because you feel a little at odds with the world. There is all kinds of good energy flowing your way, good car karma this week, good ability to communicate, good just about everything. And that's why you feel like you are on another planet. Like Mick says.

Pisces: I wouldn't say that it was going to a be a challenging week, but there have been better times. Fortunately, for you, you have such an ebullient attitude these days that none of this mess will get you down. There you go, all week long, merrily making your way through the world while it seems like everyone else is turning to you with their problems. Help where you can, but I was strongly advise against any new self-help projects this week for you.

Week of: May 27 - June 2
"Woe upon ye, and all such false professor!"
in Shakespeare's Henry VIII (III.i.114-5)
Mercury goes direct on May 27. Oh joy.

Aries: Other Astrologers might have words of warning, seeing as how the mighty Saturn, Laord of Karma, is traipsing through the early degrees of your sign. While this can be considered a challenge, it also brings certain elements with it -- Karma ain';t always a bad thing, you know -- and there is the tenuous strain of music, a romantic melody, playing on a lute, somewhere in the back of your head. Romance is not yet full in the air, but I would be on the lookout for a new star-crossed fling soon. Or new light on an old relationship.

Taurus: Now that Mercury is completely finished heaping havoc upon you, Mars and Mercury are playing tag. This usually means relationships are brought sharply into focus. Now, which way do you want to go with these relationships? With the searing influence of the Red One (Mars), I would urge you to jump all over that new fling and enjoy it for what it's worth. Just watch your driving and be careful with sharp objects, like when your cleaning fish, making sushi or slicing bait.

Gemini: Venus is doing mean little retro number on you this week. Sorry about that. This means that the new relationship is under pressure. It's not like you haven't already had enough pressure as it is, it's more like a cosmic joke. But I don't guess that you find the humor of the universe very funny this week. If only you would lighten up some, then things wouldn't appear to be so bad. Step back and contemplate just where you are in this relationship. You know you needed some perspective.

Cancer: Work is difficult this week. Romance is difficult this week. You're busy trying to take steps forward but it feels like you have one foot nailed to the floor. Look on the bright side, while you are going around in circles, at least nothing will get stolen because you are nailed down. If I were in your boots, Bubba, I would watch my wallet -- some one wants into it, and I don't think that it is a friendly person.

Leo: Leo. What can a humble Astrologer tell a Leo for this week? Not much. In fact, you probably won't even be reading this week's 'scope because nothing is happening right now. That's it. A lot of nothing. Unless, of course, you allow me to remind you to start gearing up for your birthday party. But even with that bit of information, I still get Leo's who complain because that's all I ever talk about for this sign. So? So enjoy yourself this week.

Virgo: You will find that you have lots of energy this week, and the nasty old retro thing is over. That's the good news. The even better news is that you will also experience a much lighter attitude this week, too. In fact, you will find yourself downright happy a few times. Go ahead, enjoy the glow. Makes the other signs really, really nervous to see a happy Virgo. Let them worry this week.

Libra: Poor old much maligned Libra. I keep promising new and better things coming up, but this week, you seem to be holding onto old baggage a bit too much. Just let go! Sure, and if I knew how that was accomplished, I would write a self help book and make a lot of money. But try letting go of some of the old fears -- you're down with a lot of the inward contemplation stuff. Really.

Scorpio: Well, the troubles are almost over. But it has been a tough haul here lately, now hasn't it? No chance of more work and now the unemployment checks are late. The solution is to not kill the postage person. Just because the check is late doesn't mean that there is some one, some where, plotting to make you miserable. But I bet you've felt like that lately. Bad time for fishing with explosives -- doesn't work and it's against the laws in most states.

Sagittarius: The first of the week is a downer and the last of the week is an upper -- almost like you were getting ready to go out of town, or something. Well, the weekend travel plans look great, if that's in your schedule. If not, then you might want to consider a getaway of some kind. Doesn't hurt to have bag packed, just in case that guy from the Sunday Morning Fishing Show should call you up and ask you to help with a show this weekend. There's just something wrong with a Sagittarius as a Production Assistant -- what is wrong with this picture?

Capricorn: Jupiter is smack dab in the middle of your sign. And Saturn, your ruling planet, is smack dab squaring you. One way or another, you feel like one of those Salmon: Spawn To Death! Well, it was a nice sentiment for a Capricorn. You really liked the swimming upstream part best because that's what it feels like right now. All that money, just waiting to be made, and you can't get your hands on it right now.

Aquarius: You guys, I swear, if there ever was a sign luckier than a Sagittarius, it would have to be an Aquarius, especially right now. Use this new found luck and put it to work. No, here at FGS World Headquarters, we don't endorse gambling, but this would be a good week for you to buy a lottery ticket. If you do win, you could always donate a mere one-tenth to your astrologer. He would be ever so grateful.

Pisces : The love which was in the air, sees to have flitted off some where else. Nothing we can do about that. Sorry guys, it was just a fling, really. It's okay, sometimes even a Pisces can make a bad judgement call about a relationship. You were supposed to learn something from this romance, and that's a fine sentiment, but what does that really mean? Learn to make better choices about fishing partners next week. There's always another Bass Tournament next weekend. Get out to the lake.

Week of: May 20 - 26

Here's to Mercury:

"If she lives till doomsday she'll burn a week longer than the whole world."
in Shakespeare's The Comedy of Errors (III.ii.97-98)

Aries: Work. School. Work. Nose to the grindstone. More work. Other Peoples' Mistakes at work. These are a few of the themes this week. You will notice that the operative phrase concentrates on a four letter word: work. So? So there is lots of it this week. Go ahead, move and make some more money. You can always blame it on Mercury.

Taurus: Now that all the Taurus birthdays are over, you will think you have taken quite the beating from the stars. Between the fierce energy of Mars and the unsettling effort of Mercury, and then, to top it all off, the Sun itself compounding and amplifying all the problems, well, with all of these elements at work, you need a vacation. Just wait until next week to rest because the stars (and odds) are still against you. Blame it on Mercury.

Gemini: The sun comes strolling on into Gemini, but with that other pesky stuff going on, it isn't too good of a Birthday Week. Doesn't mean that life isn't good this week, but there have been better days, and especially, there have been better birthdays. If you are having problems reading this or understanding what I'm trying to tell you, you can always blame it on Mercury.

Cancer: Despite the problems that other people are encountering this week, you will find your attitude is definitely lighter, you are perhaps happier, and there is hope in your life, and maybe even a spring in your step. Look out, Bubba, the stars are really stacked against you right now. Despite the "new attitude" you should be careful. Blame it on Mercury.

Leo: Well, we're done with that, the little tantrum you threw? I sure hope so because the stars are beginning their annual pilgrimage towards your sign and the Summer Party Bonanza. Don't confirm any plans just yet, though, because there are still some details which should be left up in the air. If people ask about this, just shrug and say, "Blame it on Mercury."

Virgo: The week rolls in with a whimper and you seem to be taking this Mercury thing way to seriously. Then, as life changes, it all gets better. Like, in the middle of the week as the Moon shifts into your sign. Then there is a distinct climatic change in your attitude. Of course, everyone around you will remain sour but that's just so you can blame it on Mercury.

Libra: The problem with being a Libra is that you can usually, if not always, see both sides of a difficult situation. As an example, Libra's a great when it comes to arguing both sides of problem. Often as not, the Libra doesn't need an opponent. Can be quite convenient. The problem is that all the headway you have made lately seems to be headed down the proverbial tubes. What's the answer? Blame it on Mercury.

Scorpio: Using your razor-like eye for detail (it's a metaphor, Bubba), you have uncovered some great truth, hidden deep within you own inner resources. What's that mean to real folk? You figured something out, a puzzle in your life. Or maybe it was the jigsaw puzzle with the missing piece and you found the missing piece. You are a hero this week. All that limelight -- blame it on Mercury.

Sagittarius: some of the vague rumblings and ratings which have been plaguing you for the last few months will now, thankfully enough, shut up. Doesn't mean that the problem goes away, or that the problem is solved. No, that's negative by any stretch of the imagination. But the problems are buried, if only for a little while. When they resurface, you can blame it on Mercury.

Capricorn: Unlike some other signs who are too flaky to mention, Capricorns are never going to be accused of engaging in a dream like trance for hours on end. Well, not usually, anyway. Perhaps you've been more contemplative this week, more inward directed. Maybe you've been caught staring out the window, transfixed with a minute detail in the far distance. Maybe you just didn't get enough sleep the night before. Whatever the case, you can always blame it on Mercury.

Aquarius: There always seems like there is just one Aquarius out there who is fighting against all odds, on lone character who is carrying the banner forward, trying desperately to move ahead with his or her agenda while facing insurmountable odds. Does this feel like you this week? If so, you can always blame it on Mercury.

Pisces: You know, there is some rule that says that "anything which begins well-ends badly." I don't want to sound like the eternal pessimist, but that relationship you were just entertaining, the lovely little thoughts of marriage, the little white house with a picket fence, two cats frolicking on the front lawn, well, all of that is going up in smoke this week. Doesn't mean the end of the world, just one more dashed dream. I warned you first. Blame it on Mercury.

Week of: May 6 - May 12
It's another Monday the Thirteenth. Not a happy day at all, now is it? Of course, the wisdom about Monday the Thirteenth is not derived from usual sources. No, I first learned about this horrible freak of nature through the comics. And my life, and now yours, will never be the same.

Aries : This week starts out with you actually willing to sit and listen to some one pour his or her heart out for a while. You have sympathy. You care. Your normal rash response is taken in a much different format as you display kindness and compassion. Then the week gets to you, and this kindly attitude goes away. But there, for one albeit brief and shining moment, we all thought that the Aries was a new a different person. Surprise, the old you is back by Friday.

Taurus : Well, there are still a couple of planets really stirring up the stew in Taurus this week. Mars, the odd god of War, sometimes called the little red one, is activating a good deal of positive Taurus energy this week. And Retrograde Mercury, the odd god of lost mail, is still spinning backwards and making life that much worse. So what will it be? New car? Lost papers? Flip the coin and pray for the best. In the meantime, it would be wise to double check all your work. I don't think you are quite ready for the new car.

Gemini : I told you about the cruel joke the heavens are playing on you -- the Mercury in Taurus, Venus in Gemini deal. Well, these feelings of being split, just like the classic Gemini archetype, really fit. Don't know which way to go? Go fishing or draw small stars? Whatever you do, don't panic, because such an action will avail you naught. The hardest thing for you to do this week is to keep from spinning in circles like a top. And talk about feeling like one of the twins this week!

Cancer : I know you feel like this is a bad week. Well, maybe it is. Perhaps it's just a Cancer thing, too, with you being all moody and depressed. Look on the bright side, other signs are suffering more than you. Go and read what it says for Gemini this week, and that should make you feel better. Of course, all that Gemini misdirection might confuse you, too, so think about reading Capricorn as well. Oh those silly planets.

Leo : Every once in a long time, there is a good. Every once in a much longer time, there is a series of good days. As long as you are getting over the trauma and avoiding conflict, you will find that this can be a most excellent week. The changes which didn't work last week are bound to take effect next week. Now that you know that, you can rest easy, even act a little smug.

Virgo : Still reeling in the romance? That scenario is going okay? There is one thing that I should warn you, since this looks a fairly new romance for you: When you start a new project (romance is a project) under the auspices of Mercury being backwards, there is usually a short lived nature to it. As long as you make adjustments for the ephemeral quality of this new project, you will find that, contrary to what other folks are saying, the romance is proceeding smoothly.

Libra : There is some interesting energy which is forcing a few things to the top for you lucky Libra's. Some projects left over from some time ago has recently come to fruition. Now, you have to turn your attention elsewhere because you complete one of the goals. What's next? A little well-deserved rest and relaxation would be a good idea.

Scorpio : There's an axiom from Cowboy Country which is more than appropriate for you Scorpio's this week, "It's easier getting on the bull than getting off the bull." For those of you who really don't get the analogy, well, perhaps you had better just stay in bed this week. Actually, though, it will a be a good week as long as you remember what part of the bull is the business end.

Sagittarius : I guess that you have found this to be a most unsettling period of time, and there is nothing that I can say or do that will rectify this feeling which are experiencing. Occasionally, times are tough. Other Astrologers will tell you that this is a good time to make money. The only thing I would spend any money on this week is a kindly Astrologer. Like myself.

Capricorn : Sorry about this one, but it looks like the moodiness has finally set back in. I know I won't win any favorites with THAT prognostication, but realize this: as long as you have moods, you can use them to your advantage. And besides, with all the mood swings, you can get a lot more accomplished than you would if you were out and out angry. Go with the flow this week.

Aquarius : Romantic winds of change are heating up this week. That much is sure. Which way these winds of change blow, that much is unsure. It's hard to p[predict for Aquarius because you guys never know which way you are going to go until the last minute. So? So be prepared for some changes. That's all I can offer this week. Bet you will like the outcome, though.

Pisces : Let me tell you, a Pisces in love is a pretty thing. Really. Those big Piscean eyes turn all goo-goo, and that normal, dream - like trance state you call reality is further heightened by the endorphins resulting from love, well, the image is almost too good to be true. I should just REMIND YOU that Mercury is backwards right now, and this feeling is merely a FEELING and it probably won't last. But do you listen to me?

Week of: Apr. 29- May 5
Mercury Retrograde on Friday the 3rd

Aries [3/23-4/20]: How are things going at the Old Salt Mine these days, dear Aries friend? Bit rough on you? There is some nice energy floating along a little later in the week, and you will find a welcome relief as Mars moves out of your sign. The need to "get it done with it" is over. That Martian urge is relaxed a little as your ruler moves on into a sedate sign, Taurus. Concentrate on "pretty" at work.

Taurus [4/21-5/22]: I'm telling you, you have the best of possible configurations for a birthday this week as Mars makes a grand entrance into your sign. Along with the hot headed planet comes a sense of urgency: birthday parties are going to go "swimmingly" well, if you give it all a chance to unfold according to a cosmic time table. Tired of astrologer riddles? Have party, but find some one else to drive -- that's sound advice.

Gemini [5/23-6/21]: You should be in an enviable position this week -- even better, for the rest of the week, you have a greater appreciation of beauty and art, and you might even like opera. That's where some barrel chested babes belt out songs in a foreign language, you know. This merely highlights what is going on deep within you: communicate those innermost feelings and sense of appreciation this week. It will help you along your diverse paths.

Cancer [6/22-7/22]: Oh dear me. Oh dear. Oh. Relationship woes are on the horizon again, for you, dear Cancer. Sorry about that. You might find yourself examining your romance in terms of how it affects your work performance. Because you are a water sign, too, you have to be careful that you do not allow the work/romance issue to cloud your judgment. Really. Trust me. I am a professional.

Leo [7/23-8/23]: The only problem you Leo's have this week reside in an earlier sign in the zodiac: Taurus. Being a fixed sign also, Taurus tends to think that they are always right. Being a good Leo, you know you are right. But it's their birthday, so ACT like they are right. It's a just a phase of the stars right now, and it won't last for long. Just acquiesces to them, even if you rattles your cage a little.

Virgo [8/24-9/23]: some Virgo's think that I mercilessly pick on them because, as a rule, the sign tends to be too tidy, too neat, and too clean. It's really not true, it just appears that I pick on them. Now, this week, starts out with a good stuff and only gets better. You are fine shape at the beginning of the week, and this fine shape gets better and better as your normally pinched expression turns into a wide grin. There is much for Virgo's to smile about this week.

Libra [9/24-10/23]: Poor old Libra, always the stalwart in the face of adversity! Well, things are looking up. So I hope. Maybe. Just a little. There are those annoying loose ends which need to be tied up this week, and the romance department needs a little attention. But other than that, things ought to be pretty good. Really. Well, sort of. I dislike sounding like I'm hedging a little, but after the last round of email from Libra's, I'm hesitant to say anything definitive. Sort of.

Scorpio [10/24-11/23]: Maybe it's because I have, on occasion, been romantically linked with a Scorpio that makes me sensitive to their needs. Maybe it's because my own, dear sweet mother is a Scorpio is why I am sensitive to their needs. Maybe it's because I read all the painful email from Scorpio's that makes me sensitive to their needs. Or maybe it's JUST IN THE STARS, but you guys really need to lighten up a little this week. Relax. Chill out. Quit thinking about it. And don't call me, fax me, or email. At all. (Bubba's fax line is always open because the fax machine drinks truckstop coffee: 512/448-0970)

Sagittarius [11/24-12/21]: As a good Sagittarius, let me tell you: the last week wasn't that great. And things start out this week not looking that good, either. But wait, there's more. Much, much more! As the week draws to a close, there is a sudden change in attitude. No, there are no major events which are going to change you, but your way of looking at things gets much better. A little adjustment in attitude, as were. Fishing looks good this weekend.

Capricorn [12/22-1/20]: Poor old tired and abused Capricorn! Seems like everyone is picking on you this week. If it's not in the toilet at work, then it's your home life which seems to have disappeared down the proverbial drain. I warned you, didn't I? About the "too good to be true, get rich schemes"? Did you listen? Time to t take a break and figure out how to pull this one together -- I know you can.

Aquarius [1/21-2/18]: Ever work with cattle? Ever feel like you work with a people who behave like a herd? You might benefit from realizing that it's always possible to get the herd to move in a particular direction, like a cattle drive, but the cows themselves are probably not going to understand what all the fuss is about. Remember this as the week unfolds -- you might have problems educating a few people along the way.

Pisces [2/19-3/22]: After what you've been through, I would hate to even suggest that wedding was in order, but you will find that the idea of a wedding intrigues you. What would be even more intriguing is if it were YOUR wedding. Think about that one for a moment or two. Now consider this, dear Pisces friend, you are face to face with a situation which could lead to trip down the aisle. Do you dare take that first step?

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