Horoscopes starting 9.8.2016

    Peace be to France—if France in peace permit
    Our just and lineal entrance to our own;
    If not, bleed France, and peace ascend to heaven,
    Whiles we, God’s wrathful agent, do correct
    Their proud contempt that beats his peace to heaven.

    King John in Shakespeare’s King John (2.1.84-9)

Mercury in Retrograde, in Virgo, and developing? Saturn Square Neptune.

Horoscopes starting 9.8.2016



The Virgin

There was an era in Austin’s history, a time filled with magic as “Kickers” and “Hippies” melted together. The result? The “Cosmic Cowboy” times. Layered under more myth than reality, portions of that cultural clash still exist, even to this day, buried under a patina of grimy Austin history. While one name was “Redneck Rock,” the real appellation should’ve been, “Head-neck.”

Part history, part oral tradition, part myth, and part foggy, stoner memories, what’s left a mark? There are a handful of music albums from that era, as evidence that the world described like that did exist. Other than a handful of musicians, though, there’s precious little left.

Burned out, drifted away, or, most common? Sold out.

Cut off jeans and t-shirts got swapped out for business suits, and the rest, as they say, is history. The challenge for Virgo, in the next few days? Separate myth from reality. The stories about the good old days? What really happened? See if there is a disconnect from reality there. “I knew a guy who worked with this guy, and he said…” Which only serves to highlight the problem, myth-making is powerful, but don’t confuse myth and the real Virgo world.


My schedule shifts around with the seasons. Where I live, I joke about there only being two seasons, “Summer and Oven,” but that’s not far from wrong. As I’ve traveled across this wide world, I realize not everyone lives in a temperate zone like I do. The middle of September usually means that it’s not blistering hot.

To be sure, I’m still in shorts and casual attire, will be for the foreseeable future, but this isn’t about what I wear, it’s about an observable seasonal shift. The biggest local problem, and you’d think, by now, this would be sorted out, but it’s not, the challenge is the AC. Too cold, too warm, but never “Just right.” I’ll tend to toss a long-sleeved shirt in with whatever, and wherever I’m going, as the AC tends to be set for summer excess, and as such? Too cold. Or, too warm. Either way, the solution, for Libra is simple.

Take a sweater. Take a long-sleeved shirt. If it’s too warm? Peel out of clothing, not a problem. But if it’s too chilly? Add that sweater, add that extra shirt. It’s easy to adjust, and there’s going to be a constant adjustment required. I worked one hotel conference center, here in Texas and first thing in the morning? Faint sheen of perception on my face, but as the September day got older? It got colder. Started putting clothes back on to adjust. As a Libra? Be prepared to adjust, like, a lot.


Variations on a theme, for Scorpio? This last girlfriend, she relentlessly pursued me until I finally caved in and let myself get caught in her snare. Her version of the exact same events? “Kramer? You lay at my feet and begged me to take you!” Two, rather different, versions of the same story. Now, who are you going to believe? Me! Of course! I was there, and I only report the facts. She relentlessly pursued me until I finally caved in, succumbing to obvious physical allure. I can only resist certain temptations and female wiles for so long.

As a Scorpio, there are two versions of your story. As an astrologer, Mercury is Retrograde. As a Scorpio, how assiduously are you going to stick to your story?

Me? Absolute truth.


There’s a certain kind of frustration that comes with being too encumbered with gadgets. I was commuting to Austin, and as is my style, I prefer to listen to one of Shakespeare’s plays, read dramatically, piped in from a phone to the car’s sound thing. There was nuance to that particular reading, and I caught something in one the lines that I’d never heard before.

Part of it was delivery, part of it was the language, and part of it was probably the coffee I was sipping at the time. I fished around to find a pen or pencil, then pulled out a scrap of paper, after all, I can’t touch the phone or tablet while driving, local laws and common sense dictate hands free for electrical devices — so I was fishing out an analog writing tool, then I balanced a scrap of paper on the steering wheel, making note. When I arrived, I couldn’t tell what I’d written.

The play, it had more parts to it, and I was swept up in the action, King John is tedious at spots, and exciting in others, so, who knows what I was trying to recall? That kind of frustration, looking at my notes and my phone, I know which play I was listening to. I knew it was in Act 1, or 2, or maybe 3. My written message? It’s a few squiggles that hardly spell out letters. That’s the kind of frustration that this week holds for Sagittarius. We play by the rules. We do as we’re instructed. We get brilliant flashes of insight. We record this flashes, only, at the end of the day, we can’t decipher the meaning. The solution? After hearing the play, I have to sit down with a book-form copy of the play and read it. Again. Even, then, I might miss the nuance of the spoken language.

“Welcome to my world.”

Welcome to Sagittarius, this week.


Spending no small amount of time at the Gulf Coast, I’ve been exposed to variety and vagary of beach lifestyles. The one I appreciate the most, that seems like the most fun? Messages in the sand. Simple as that, a message, “Rob + Yvette,” for example, etched in the sand. As the tide sweeps in, then drains back out, sometimes these messages don’t last. For a while, I would try and capture images of the messages I encountered in the sand. The highly ephemeral nature of such messages always intrigues me. I wonder if the fleeting nature of the message is clear, etched, as it were in sand?

I’m amused when I see, “name + name,” and some kind of “forever” attached to the sand writing. My little coastal fascination stretches, too, as one girlfriend carved out the letters, “thank you,” in the sand. When that image rolled over a few weeks later? She was less than thankful. Kind of a bitter. Who knows what I did? Careful about messages that seems be permanent, as this is quite a quick media. However, in my example? It was the picture. The digital image I stored on a server, launched into the inter-webs, and from thence? Someplace, stored for forever, on a search engine’s memory banks? Sure. Therein is the problem with “ephemeral messages in the sand,” and that idea of permanence. Careful, even with Mercury is its state of deshabille? Careful with messages in the sand that stand the test of time.


Different people have different kitchen modalities. Me, for example, I clean as I cook. As I go along, I’m rinsing, washing, clearing, and cleaning as I prepare food. The kitchen stays relatively ship-shape. Perhaps this is borne out of living in the tight confines of a trailer for so long, who knows? The converse side of this, old girlfriend, when she made us breakfast one morning? The stove top was littered with pots and pans, the counter had a bowl plus plates, and lord only knows, what else. She had to sweep through and move extraneous material from the kitchen table so there was a place to eat.

The different styles of working, net results are identical, and to be fair, it was my kitchen, so I knew where everything was, still, as different styles of work go? My structured, metered methods, or the unstructured chaos? Acknowledge the work-style of your companion. Me? I don’t understand the chaos version, but that’s me. I have immediate family members who thrive in that exact same frantic mess. This week makes more sense when your Aquarius self learns — and accepts — other peoples’ working styles.


For several years now, I’ve preached — to Pisces — about an inconvenient truth that needs attention. This uncomfortable, “I’d rather not talk about it” concept desperately requires Pisces bandwidth. This week. Now, even. The easiest way through this muddled mess? As soon as you hear the catch phrase, “I don’t want to discuss that at all?” As soon as you hear that expression? That’s the sign that it’s the very topic that needs your Pisces attention. Willingness to dig up a past hurt, address, and patch up a situation, now with Mercury, Mars, and Saturn were they all are? This goes a long way towards being able to bury that “thing,” eventually.

Make peace with the Pisces past, or it can haunt us for many lifetimes to come.


Craig (Sagittarius) disrupts classified advertising. The home-sharing companies disrupted the hotel business. The peer-to-peer music sharing disrupted the music labels’ business. The ride-sharing apps disrupted the cab companies.

It’s about the gradual shift and change, and watching this as it occurs. There’s a kind of disruptive tech that infiltrates the Aries mind, possibly on a more mundane level, too. This disruptive tech, an app, a situation, or just some kind of web page with a listing? Whatever it is? Too easy? Too hard? Cost too much? Too little?

There’s a catch, and you know there’s a catch, but this week offers one of those deals you just know you can’t pass up. Or can you? What’s the real deal?


There’s a tiny voice in the back of the Taurus brain, whispering about one problem. Is this a real problem? I doubt it. However, when there’s a point that makes a Taurus uncomfortable? Like now? The obvious, to me, solution?

    Pause and fix the problem.

No more discomfort, no more problem.

The perception of an obstacle, rather than a real problem? That’s the proverbial ‘crux of the biscuit.’ Here’s the deal, before I wander off, the problem, if there really is a problem, might be more mental than physical. Might be a fictive issue as opposed to a real world interference. The problem posed by the relative discomfited planets? It makes this seem like a Taurus issue. Makes this seem like a Taurus problem. Makes this appear, and that tiny voice backs me up, makes this appear to be a Taurus problem. Look a little more closely. Might not be your problem. Is it your backyard? Or a neighbor’s neighbor?


I have horrible handwriting. This is not new information. I was dipped in digital ink at the dawn of the inter-webs, and I never looked back. I know I have horrible handwriting. I made, at one time, a concerted effort to form the letters in a better way, to try and make the missives more legible, but that never happened.

There are some Gemini with calligraphy-like handwriting. There are some with chicken–scratch that even a doctor couldn’t decipher. The trick, at this moment? Know which way it goes. In my example, with me? I know that I can’t read my handwritten notes so I don’t even try to write myself a note. As a Gemini, depends on how which half works, but depending on the methods that work best? Stick with them. I thumb a note into a phone, or tablet, but I don’t even bother with sticky notes that I can’t read. If you’re a strictly verbal Gemini? Use a recoding function to record the notes. Visual? Draw a picture. Whatever has worked in the past? Stick with it.


“Communications are in the toilet!” Familiar noise from the Cancer slice. Yes, communications are problematic at this moment. What’s worse? There’s, like, an incessant need to communicate, like, you’ve got a very real issue that must be discussed, right at this very minute. Hence the problem. The feeling like this is a topic that has to be talked about right now? That’s a martian influence. From Mars. In Sagittarius, even as we speak. Sagittarius, that’s me. I understand the urgency, but what I’m not seeing? Why now? Why this very minute? “Because!”

“Because” is not really a valid answer, now is it? The urgency of the message doesn’t count. The — it feels like a desperate need — urge to communicate is valid and quite human, but this urgency isn’t really characteristic.

Mercury makes this feel like there is no other option, but there is. Besides, with Mercury Retrograde? There’s a really good chance that the message that you feel so strongly about? Might not really be that big of a problem is a few days. The pressure? I know how you feel, but right now? Maybe it isn’t the best time broadcast that message you’ve been so sure about.

The Leo:

This last bit of Virgo stuff is all about getting ready. This last, tail-end of Virgo? Leo, darling, the best fixed fire sign, The Leo? We’ve got some prep work. “But Mercury is Retrograde? I can’t prepare anything new now!” That would be accurate in my thinking, but looking at it, there’s an option to recycle a former project. Not a new project, this is a recycled piece.

Besides, this more a matter of gathering up there disparate pieces, more a matter of gathering the stuff up, and piling it one corner, or, one artist I know? She uses a “Project Box” for her various installations and works. What she does is gather of the pieces that make the project, this is not any stage of assembly yet, it’s the process of gathering while Mercury is retrograde. “Gather ye rosebuds,” and never mind, no fancy lit quotes now. Get some of this together as there’s going to be an opening for Leo, The Leo, to get this material sorted, quantified, and aligned, in the near future. Got to gather some of it up, first. Now. Get out there and gather.

About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in a trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at KramerWetzel.com.

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