Ticket

Dear Judge Smith:
Enclosed please find a copy of a ticket I received on March 24, 2003, in a little cove on Lake Bastrop. The ticketing officer suggested that if I were to provide you with a copy of the ticket and a copy of my valid Texas Parks & Wildlife Resident Fishing Permit, you might dismiss the ticket.

I’ll be more than happy to pay any court costs and/or administrative fees.

The fishing permit was purchased 9/4/2002, and is current. It was also sitting on my desk. You can bet that I’m not leaving home without it again.

My fishing partner that morning was giggling, smirking, and snickering in an unprofessional manner. I was afraid this would reflect badly on me and my offense, and/or upset the officers. My friend did, of course, have the proper floatation device, fire extinguisher and his fishing permit.

The officers were polite and kind, I’m happy to report. The ticketing officer even graciously stopped long enough to pose for a picture with me accepting the ticket. His partner told him, “You’ll be on the Internet now.”

He is.

Approximately 20 to 30 regular readers have seen the digital image of me getting ticketed for an offense that I so frequently warn other people about.

The ribbing I’ve received in the daily e-mails is horrendous.

I’m not sure what’s worse, the fact that I didn’t catch any fish, or the fact that I did get a ticket. As one reader suggested, the score for the morning showed the fish winning.

In light of these facts, I can only hope that you will show a little clemency and dismiss this aforementioned ticket. My bad.

Sincerely,
Kramer Wetzel

About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in a trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at KramerWetzel.com.

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