Week of: Jan 1 – 7, 1996

Week of: Jan 1 - 7, 1996

Only 11 more signs until Xmas!

    Aries [3/23-4/20]: I sure hope you had a fine night of it, what with all the parties, the coming and going, and maybe just a little bit too much cheer. What a way to bring the new year in, huh? How's the head? I hope you didn't make any foolish New Year's Resolutions which you haven't a chance of remembering. No, the cosmic new leaf turning over doesn't happen until a little later this month, so just nurse yourself back to health over these next few days. You will be feeling better soon enough.

    Taurus [4/21-5/22]: If there ever was a party that you did enjoy, it should have been last night. The one thing to watch out for, and I sure hope this doesn't set a precedent for the rest of the year, is a certain Jealousy you felt last night. Some where, in the Great Work of Kramer, it is written, "Thou Shalt Not Be Overly Desirous of Thy Neighbor's Bass Boat." Well, it may be a shiny new pick up instead of boat, or the new trailer house, but you need to move past the pangs of jealousy because that really is unhealthy for you.

    Gemini [5/23-6/21]: Well, almost as if by magic,. The terrible burden that you have been carrying around with you gets lifted -- the extra weight is gone from your shoulders and you can stand tall and proud again. You might find yourself in a position to start making some serious money, too. That money thing is dependent upon what you have actually accomplished what you were supposed to do last year. If you got in behind the scenes and studies, like I told you to, then this year starts out with ease and grace. And it only gets better.

    Cancer [6/22-7/22]: Frustrations run high right now. Real high. You might trey ice fishing only to get out on the lake, and discover that you don't have the correct hardware to cut a hole in the ice. And that's the easiest example. I would think twice about ice, because you will find that you are (I love to mix metaphors) you are on thin ice in two areas right now: at the office, and on the homefront. It's a double lose situation unless you check your equipment before you head out on the water. So to speak. And watch it, because the winter water is very cold.

    Leo [7/23-8/23]: Talk about the hang over fit for a king! The holiday was good, but now your mood is beginning to sag. Just like the lines under your eyes. You look like you've played just a little too hard, and I'll bet you could really use some rest. If it were possible, the best course of action is for you to take the rest of the Month of January off, and go rest. This week is a troublesome only in that you either need to rest up from the holidays, or that you feel like the holidays never stopped and you want to keep having a party. Either way, work does not figure prominent in your plans.

    Virgo [8/24-9/23]: Look, my Virgo friend, things are not what they seem to be. All you see is the inky blackness and the fiery pit of despair. No, that's not all there is. By the time the Fishing Season get really cranked up, by the time the Big Ones are hitting, you will be in better shape. The trick right now, the trick is to trick yourself into thinking that things are getting better this week. Avoid foolish and improbable resolutions. Let's face it, no one can keep up with that list you made. It's not human. Of course, it can be argued that Virgo's aren't human, but that's a horse of a different flavor.

    Libra [9/24-10/23]: Well, dear Libra friend, we've got some unexpected changes occurring in your schedule at the very last minute. These little challenges are here just to see if you can adapt quickly to the new order of things. The Universe is constantly evolving, but you knew that, and it wants you be more adaptable. In order to effect this change, there will be some last minute, unexpected delays. Nothing you can't accommodate, either, just be warned. And carry an umbrella.

    Scorpio [10/24-11/23]: If I run into one more pessimistic, downtrodden Scorpio, I am just going to SCREAM LIKE A WOMAN. The deal is this, and you Scorpio's listen up good: the bad stuff is over with. Quit complaining. There is nothing but smooth water ahead for you. You ought to be feeling this new and calming effect, even as you read this. But do you let the water stay calm? If you encounter any turbulence WHATSOEVER you had better figure out why you caused it. Nobody else is foolish enough to disturb Scorpio's anymore.

    Sagittarius [11/24-12/21]: Well, it is time to get down to work. There is a big fishing season coming up, the first of the tournaments are scheduled, and you, my fine Sagittarius friend, have much work to do to get ready for these bass fishing tournaments. The boat needs the motor over-hauled. The boat needs a fresh coat of varnish. Your gear needs to be cleaned and sorted. (Virgo's are handy at a time like this.) You need to get the proverbial ducks in a row. Line them little guys up. Now's the time.

    Capricorn [12/22-1/20]: You, my fine and wonderful Cappy friend, have so much good stuff going on you might not know what to do. Now is the time -- all of the upheaval in the last couple of years, all of the work, all of the development is coming to a head. Do something. Anything. Just take some action. Movement is required at this time. There's no two ways about it: you are energized and ready to act, so don't sit there on your hands: JFDI! (Just Do It, the F is silent.)

    Aquarius [1/21-2/18]: Well, you know, everyone else is concerned with the holiday, the new year bash, the economic climate, and global warming. You are concerned with deeper psychological issues which are burning in your brain right now. You have much to think about. Give it a chance. We already know that you are the most analytical of the bunch, the best brain wave power sign, so use it. Everyone else is off with false hope and false promises. You,. however, spend the week in deep mediation. You are charting a new course for what is on the horizon.

    Pisces [2/19-3/22]: There's a brave new world awaiting you. Really. You just can't seem to get away from this work thing. It looks as if work will stretch on forever. Especially right now. Don't despair, please, because I know that relief is literally right around the corner. Keep a stiff upper lip until then.

About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person.

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