Week of: Apr. 22-28

Week of: Apr. 22-28
“In 1880, 40 thousand tons of steel barbed wire were sold to Texas cattlemen.”
(page 108 of “At Least 1836 you ought to know about Texas)

There is still a little collateral damage from the last of the celestial events which have occured on a Aries/Libra axis. Been a fun time for them. That, and all the love planets are really stirring up the old spring time feelings, too. But you might be feeling a little hemmed in, and hence the statistic about Bob Wire. If you know any good quotes from American authors about statistics, let me know.

Aries [3/23-4/20]: Dear Aries friend. Dear Aries. Oh Dear. Mars is leaving shortly and with it is its imprint: a hot, war-like attitude which goes with just about everything you touch. The good news beyond this fiery disposition is that you can get a lot done, that is, get many thing accomplished with this energy. Saturn is snuggling in for a couple of years, too, so get used to the idea that good karma is coming around for you.

Taurus [4/21-5/22]: It’s birthday time for the mighty Bull of the zodiac. Don’t forget that in FGS Astrology, the sign of the Bull is always associated with Venus that planet of good taste (and all things that taste good). Get ready for the big birthday thing since you will find that you are a tad more flighty this week. What with all the birthday stuff coming, there will feel like there is never enough time to get everything ready! Relax and try a Leo move: party on!

Gemini [5/23-6/21]: Well, dear Gemini, looks as if you are the down side of long a downhill run, and it doesn’t feel like this one has been too much fun, either. The good to better news is that you are poised for some better things to happen, just about any day now. Do the Gemini thing, keep light on your feet and be ready to move off in a new direction at a moment’s notice. You have got interesting, and what should be good, changes right around the corner.

Cancer [6/22-7/22]: Oh no, you Cancer types are going to begin to hate me. I can feel it already. You start this persistent whining like a main bearing in an outboard motor just about to cease all functions, and this whining just starts to build to a tremendous roar. The idea that you are slowly, ineffably, moving your career ahead is the notion I want you to work with. The facts are this: you must work long and hard hours in order to achieve what you want right now. The better news is that you can do this thing. Just don’t whine to me about work.

Leo [7/23-8/23]: I was sitting on airplane, just the other day, with a Leo. No complaints here. All I could think about,m though, was how bad it has been for Leo, that grand old sign, and how nice it is starting to be. Yes. The party season is just around the corner. You like the summer time weather — after all, the Sun is your ruler, so you stars couldn’t be getting much better. You’ve just come down from a month long party time, and you are looking at doing it again. I would suggest that you consider setting aside some time for boat maintenance right now, though. Just as a thought.

Virgo [8/24-9/23]: Talk about a week that starts out weak, but has a strong finish to it! Sounds more like a wine. Or whine, as the case may be. Beauty is highlighted this week, along with the concomitant problems of your exquisite taste and judgment. Oh where oh where does it say “judge no lest you be judged”? because that expression really applies this week. Remember, dear Virgo, I did warn you.

Libra [9/24-10/23]: Well, dear Libra, there are just a few minor transits going on right now. Mostly these little movements involve a few minor asteroids so I wouldn’t worry about things too much except that these minor asteroids seem to concentrate your ability too worry. So you are a little more high strung than usual. It’s not really a problem, just an observation. Delivering this message to a Libra, though, I feel a lot like that poor character who gets beaten by Cleopatra.

Scorpio [10/24-11/23]: Well, dear Scorpio, it’s your half birthday, or something close to that. To exacerbate matters, there is a single asteroid floating through your sign which will make behave a lot like a Virgo. Scorpio with Virgo over tones — it’s not a pretty sight. The news that I have, as we approach your half birthday is that you are going into a period of time often referred to as a “slump.” I wouldn’t worry about it too much — you emerge on the far side of this “slump” thing as a better person with a more sensible attitude. We just got to get you there, first.

Sagittarius [11/24-12/21]: At the risk of alienating three quarters of the readers — there’s a particular archetype which I refer to as an “Earth Muffin” — big hips, hairy legs, sandal wearing, tree hugging women. I’ve had a crush on one or two, so this is by no means a pejorative description. And this so called “Earth Muffin” energy is waxing and waning it’s way through the happy archer right now. You might be tempted to settle down. Thing twice, that’s all I ask.

Capricorn [12/22-1/20]: There’s a planet called Jupiter, who rules Sagittarius, and who works like a cattle prod: 20,000 volts of energy which is sometimes misdirected. Some one came along and juiced you good with the cattle prod. Especially this week. Now, if you can make up your minded on a direction, pick a place to go, you will feel much better. You’ve got the drive and the stamina, you just need to render a decision. Good luck. Send me a post card from the edge.

Aquarius [1/21-2/18]: I like you fixed air types because you are the utmost in being unpredictable. I say one thing, and you do something else, just to spite me, spite the world at large, and perhaps even tempt fate. Well, Fate (it’s actually a town in Rockwall County, Texas) is woven by three spinster sisters, and they are all having one heck of a a time with your fate these days. It just doesn’t want to follow any sensible pattern. Sorry, but there is nothing I can do about it, either. You are experiencing gale force winds of change, and this is merely the beginning. Furl the sails and get ready for some heavy weather.

Pisces [2/19-3/22]: After what you’ve been through, I bet you are one happy camper right now. Making wedding plans? I would hope so. Things just look really, really good for you. Of course, I’m going to assume that you did your homework last winter. You remember when I assigned that reading? No? Better get after it, there will be a test soon.

About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in a trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at KramerWetzel.com.

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