Week of: May 27 – June 2
“Woe upon ye, and all such false professor!”
in Shakespeare’s Henry VIII (III.i.114-5)
Mercury goes direct on May 27. Oh joy.
Aries: Other Astrologers might have words of warning, seeing as how the mighty Saturn, Laord of Karma, is traipsing through the early degrees of your sign. While this can be considered a challenge, it also brings certain elements with it — Karma ain’;t always a bad thing, you know — and there is the tenuous strain of music, a romantic melody, playing on a lute, somewhere in the back of your head. Romance is not yet full in the air, but I would be on the lookout for a new star-crossed fling soon. Or new light on an old relationship.
Taurus: Now that Mercury is completely finished heaping havoc upon you, Mars and Mercury are playing tag. This usually means relationships are brought sharply into focus. Now, which way do you want to go with these relationships? With the searing influence of the Red One (Mars), I would urge you to jump all over that new fling and enjoy it for what it’s worth. Just watch your driving and be careful with sharp objects, like when your cleaning fish, making sushi or slicing bait.
Gemini: Venus is doing mean little retro number on you this week. Sorry about that. This means that the new relationship is under pressure. It’s not like you haven’t already had enough pressure as it is, it’s more like a cosmic joke. But I don’t guess that you find the humor of the universe very funny this week. If only you would lighten up some, then things wouldn’t appear to be so bad. Step back and contemplate just where you are in this relationship. You know you needed some perspective.
Cancer: Work is difficult this week. Romance is difficult this week. You’re busy trying to take steps forward but it feels like you have one foot nailed to the floor. Look on the bright side, while you are going around in circles, at least nothing will get stolen because you are nailed down. If I were in your boots, Bubba, I would watch my wallet — some one wants into it, and I don’t think that it is a friendly person.
Leo: Leo. What can a humble Astrologer tell a Leo for this week? Not much. In fact, you probably won’t even be reading this week’s ‘scope because nothing is happening right now. That’s it. A lot of nothing. Unless, of course, you allow me to remind you to start gearing up for your birthday party. But even with that bit of information, I still get Leo’s who complain because that’s all I ever talk about for this sign. So? So enjoy yourself this week.
Virgo: You will find that you have lots of energy this week, and the nasty old retro thing is over. That’s the good news. The even better news is that you will also experience a much lighter attitude this week, too. In fact, you will find yourself downright happy a few times. Go ahead, enjoy the glow. Makes the other signs really, really nervous to see a happy Virgo. Let them worry this week.
Libra: Poor old much maligned Libra. I keep promising new and better things coming up, but this week, you seem to be holding onto old baggage a bit too much. Just let go! Sure, and if I knew how that was accomplished, I would write a self help book and make a lot of money. But try letting go of some of the old fears — you’re down with a lot of the inward contemplation stuff. Really.
Scorpio: Well, the troubles are almost over. But it has been a tough haul here lately, now hasn’t it? No chance of more work and now the unemployment checks are late. The solution is to not kill the postage person. Just because the check is late doesn’t mean that there is some one, some where, plotting to make you miserable. But I bet you’ve felt like that lately. Bad time for fishing with explosives — doesn’t work and it’s against the laws in most states.
Sagittarius: The first of the week is a downer and the last of the week is an upper — almost like you were getting ready to go out of town, or something. Well, the weekend travel plans look great, if that’s in your schedule. If not, then you might want to consider a getaway of some kind. Doesn’t hurt to have bag packed, just in case that guy from the Sunday Morning Fishing Show should call you up and ask you to help with a show this weekend. There’s just something wrong with a Sagittarius as a Production Assistant — what is wrong with this picture?
Capricorn: Jupiter is smack dab in the middle of your sign. And Saturn, your ruling planet, is smack dab squaring you. One way or another, you feel like one of those Salmon: Spawn To Death! Well, it was a nice sentiment for a Capricorn. You really liked the swimming upstream part best because that’s what it feels like right now. All that money, just waiting to be made, and you can’t get your hands on it right now.
Aquarius: You guys, I swear, if there ever was a sign luckier than a Sagittarius, it would have to be an Aquarius, especially right now. Use this new found luck and put it to work. No, here at FGS World Headquarters, we don’t endorse gambling, but this would be a good week for you to buy a lottery ticket. If you do win, you could always donate a mere one-tenth to your astrologer. He would be ever so grateful.
Pisces : The love which was in the air, sees to have flitted off some where else. Nothing we can do about that. Sorry guys, it was just a fling, really. It’s okay, sometimes even a Pisces can make a bad judgement call about a relationship. You were supposed to learn something from this romance, and that’s a fine sentiment, but what does that really mean? Learn to make better choices about fishing partners next week. There’s always another Bass Tournament next weekend. Get out to the lake.
