2.9.1998

Week of: 2/9-15 Friday the 13th

Lear: By Jupiter, I swear, no.
Kent: By Juno, I swear, ay.

in Shakespeare’s version of King Lear [II.iv.24-5]

Aries : The term which best applies to this week is borrowed from the world of cooking. I won’t pretend to know anything about cooking, except how to find a good restaurant, but I will suggest that this week your life resembles life in a pressure cooker. Imagine one of those things which works almost like a bomb, an enclosed space set up on the stove and heated to the point where everything inside the pressure cooker is limp with hot steam. The idea of sauna or sweat lodge is much the same, but these metaphors don’t have the word “pressure” in them. And that’s what you are under. Lots of it. Now, I’ve warned you about, so don’t explode.

Taurus : I was thinking about a pressure cooker to describe what Aries is going to go through this week, and that made me think of a sauna, a nice one, at a ski lodge high in the Canadian Rocky Mountains. Imagine yourself in that sauna, lots of steam superheating your body, and then you decide to go for a quick romp in the snow. It cools you off. This week, you’ve got to find some snow. Really, this is a good experience: the sauna has you heated to a boiling point so find some way to cool yourself off. While snow may be in short supply in some parts of the world, do something along those lines. A sudden release from this super-hot situation is imminent.

Gemini : I know you would rather be on vacation right now. In fact, may of the Gemini’s I hear from seem to live in a state of perpetual vacation. But this week, concentrate some efforts on work. You have a multifaceted career plan going right now, and that is the area of your life which needs the greatest amount of you undivided attention. Undivided attention is a Gemini oxymoron, but marshal up the best of your abilities and start looking at your marketing plans for the immediate future. I would also suggest that you take one single, small step backwards, for just a moment, and do your very best to get a look at the bigger picture. Try to figure just how you fit in the grand scheme of things.

Cancer : By now, I’m sure you are familiar with this drill: careful with low-yield thermonuclear device, power bait, power saws, and other implements of destruction. Careful with BBQ grills and lighter fluid. In fact, if you decide to work on your truck this week, be prepared to scrape a few knuckles, as well. It’s going to be one of those weeks when mechanical devices all form a conspiracy to plague you. And I don’t want to hear about it. The good news is that you have the energy and about to overcome this modest mechanical failures in life. You might wind up walking to work, but you will feel fresh and alive when you get there. Just be careful with this exercise thing, though, no need to over do it.

Leo : Good news for Leo this week: the pejorative influences in life aren’t nearly as pronounced this week, not half as bad as they have been. You still have some things that are shaking you to the core, sort of like a car in traffic which appears out of no where, and tries to cut you off. I recommend no rude hand gestures, a simple “I’m sorry” is the most expedient way of dealing with sort of intrusion in your life. Don’t let the little, relatively minor events fluster you too much. Try and smooth over this minor little obstacles. This is going to be an okay week. Really.

Virgo : It’s always fun to twist the tail feathers on a Virgo because it just gets them all worked up, sometimes, this is for no reason other than Virgo’s are fun to get worked up. The problem this week is that it seems like everyone and their little brothers are all trying to get you tail feathers knotted up. Are you going to let them do that to you? I would hope not. If you face this week with an uncharacteristic calm, everyone else will wonder what sort of mind and mood altering drugs you are taking. Some of us might even beg for you to share this calm and serene stuff. Will you? The true secret is an inner happiness, and don’t tell anyone what you are really doing.

Libra : I always try to address Libra as a partnership sign., and these partnerships are important this week. An alliance, a strategic alignment, a commitment from a potential business venture, or someone from your past who wants to make things good again is coming along. I don’t have to tell you the details about consulting a lawyer and getting the real skinny on the contract, the deal, the proffered association. make sure you understand all the details before you sign on the dotted line. The deal which is coming along might be one of those where you do all the work, but only get half the credit. Your soon to be partner likes this.

Scorpio : Energy is along to help you out right now. Lots of useful energy. I don’t know what else to call this. You feel like you could get by on a mere hour’s worth of sleep right now. Of course, if you are a normal person, you might be inclined to get little more. I would recommend it. This extra dose of good drive is sort of like a decent cup of coffee at a truck stop. Use this little jolt in a good way, go the extra hundred miles, put in a little more time with work, polish up that hobby idea and turn it into a money-making scheme. Consider turn into a Bass Master instead of just being a weekend angler.

Sagittarius : After last week’s little flare up, I hope you didn’t do any irreconcilable damage. Anger can be useful, if you direct the heat right. In any case, this is a good week for lots of that “mental” type of energy. Try and think your way out of last week’s situation. While this sort of activity doesn’t always become a Sagittarius, in this case, and this week, it would be a good idea. Also put some thought into a some longer range plans, like something past this weekend. By the way,this is a good weekend for you to get and play some, as if you need an invitation.

Capricorn : Actually, this is a good week, There is a certain sense of foreboding that always accompanies a good Capricorn, but this week, even that sense of foreboding should be a little bit lessened. And if you still think that the other boot is about to drop, well, get over it. It’s not going to happen this week. You are going to be a busy person this week, however. There is going to be a lot of activity which, to the rest of us, looks like busy work on your part. Of course, to you, this is important activities which have specific goals. You will actually get a chance, a little later this week, to achieve one of these lofty ideals you have set aside for yourself.

Aquarius : Pink Floyd has song called “money” and the tune begins with the jingle of cash register. According to my interpretation of traditional astrology, that’s your theme song for the week. We all know that money won’t buy love, but, according to anonymous sources, it can be rented. I’m not too fond of that scenario, and I’m sure you’re not either therefore, listen to that Music of the Sphere and concentrate on the money thing again this week. Listen for the jingle of cash registers which is supposed to e money coming in, not going out, and give this love thing a pass this week. You’ve got better things to do.

Pisces : good news and good news for this week. There is nothing bad in the Pisces sky. Okay, so there’s not much that is bad in the Pisces sky. Okay, so the week starts out on a Monday, which comes too early in the week, but other than that, there’;s nothing bad in your corner of the world. Well, at least not much that is bad. In fact, the Energizer Bunny is hopping around in your corner of the world. You may experience some sleep disorders. I just hope there is all-night bowling alley in your town. You can be knocking them down all week long.

About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in a trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at KramerWetzel.com.

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