Week of: 3/16-22
“Who should withhold me?
Not fate, obedience, nor the hand of Mars
Beckoning with fiery truncheon my retire….”
–Troilus in Shakespeare’s “Troilus and Cressida,” (Act V, scene iii)
I like the Troilus quote because it talks about Mars, and Mars rules
Aries, and the sun enters Aries later this week, but first, a few words
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Aries
It’s Spring Equinox, and that means party time. With the Sun moving into your sign, things get hectic. Actually, it’s the beginning of a new adventure. It’s like that new roller coaster at the theme park. It’ll take you up, over and finally, upside down, where your shirt falls over your head, exposing yourself to the crowds below, which you love. Should be an amusing time, as long as you hang on. As usual, with mars in your sign, be careful with the BBQ grill.
Taurus
While Aries is firing up the old gas grill, you need to chill. You’ve had disturbing events as of late. Judging from my mail, this isn’t a great season for you. Caution is advised, especially when dealing with cutting implements or military ordinance like low-yield explosives. I would rule out cherry bombs as a form of entertainment. You’ve had enough explosive situations already. Be careful when carving the Sunday pot roast.
Gemini
My baby sister is a Gemini and a performer of some note. And an archetypical Gemini. Like her, you need to take your show on the road and aim for the big venues. You’ll be in places you’d never dreamed, like the Opry House. If you’re having trouble getting into the bigger arenas, examine what the problem is because you can overcome any difficulty with your charm and wit.
Cancer
My man Bubba is a Cancer; most folks assume that I write the Cancer scope just for him, which is patently false. This week is solid proof. If so, I’d be telling him he needs to send me more money. Since I’m not, I direct your attention to the fact that you face terrible odds at work, and it will feel like gremlins are trying to subvert what you have carefully assembled. The cure for this is patience, but that’s in short supply. Don’t let the trolls under the bridges steal your parade fez.
Leo
It’s a fine one coming down the pike this week, so strike while everything is in Aries. Aries is a fire sign, just like Leo. All that fire means that things are working for you. Actually, most things are working, but not all things. Romance is a tough call, but if you play your cards right and don’t bluff too much, you might be able to pull in a grand prize. The trick is the poker face. Practice the poker face.
Virgo
On the bright side, you’ve made it this far. And it won’t get much worse. Maybe the romance thing is in a downward cycle, but it’s still not completely terrible. Virgos aren’t always willing to look on the bright side, seeing a half-empty glass as a sign of impending drought. It’s hard for us to deal with this attitude, so lighten up. If everything feels like it’s headed down the
toilet, then you don’t have to worry about running out of water, OK? Odd influences can help if you let them.
Libra
It’s a good week to solicit advice. Get a second or third opinion. Listen to the experts. Develop that thoughtful look, crinkling your eyes and watching the mouth of the speaker. Take notes. Then do what you were planning to do anyway. If anyone asks, just show your research like on the tests in high school that say “show all work.”
Scorpio
About mid-week, you have a unique opportunity. And your insight is heightened. As a Scorpio, you normally have pretty good vision, i.e., you can see beyond the surface of many issues. But this week, your intuition is helped by bizarre planetary behavior. The trick is to not tip your hand; don’t let your opponent know that you know that they know that you know. Don’t let on that you have a pipeline to the planetary datebook this week. Use your powers for good, not evil.
Sagittarius
It’s a great week for the mighty Archer. With everything in Aries, you’re fired up as they are, perhaps more so. What will you do with this energy? Go to France? How about Paris (Paris, Texas)? Running away seems fun, but it’s not the most expedient answer to little troubles that you are working hard to avoid. If you sit yourself down and tend to boring ol’ business, you can accomplish twice the work in half the time. That’s a 4X yield for you.
Capricorn
This is a good time for a Capricorn, but one ill-advised adventure is moving. I know you want to move, but getting a new trailer isn’t the best idea right now. Consider what you’re looking at. Don’t spend too much time worry about ideals. Stick to the basics and you’ll benefit.
Aquarius
I’ve been publishing on the Internet and via electronic mail for a few years now. In computer time, that’s akin to decades if not centuries. As an Aquarius, with a strange love triangle between you, your truck and your boat, I have to wonder how your computer fits in. Is it getting jealous? You should know better than to anthropormorphize the equipment: They hate that. The love triangle becomes a square this week as Venus and Uranus dance with each other. Now imagine your truck and your boat dirty dancing. I hope this makes sense; I just read the stars.
Pisces
You are in a great cycle of rebirth. That’s high talk about how things are going well. I can’t think of a decent metaphor for “real good” other than better than greased lightning. Perhaps you want to send me some metaphors for this week? The lucky star resides in your sign right now, and it’s here for a spell, so get used to the added activity. Things are good, just don’t go ballistic.
