Week of: 3/30-4/5
“Who should withhold me?
Not fate, obedience, nor the hand of Mars
Beckoning with fiery truncheon my retire;
Not Priamus and Hecuba on knees,
Their eyes o’er galled with recourse of tears;
Nor you,may brother, with your true sword drawn,
Opposed to hinder me, should stop my way,
But by my ruin.”
— Troilus in Shakespeare’s “Troilus and Cressida” [III.v]
Aries
Aries — always forthright, in your face, no holds barred, nothing up your sleeve. Usually. Mostly. With all you’ve got kicking around in your little section of the sky, though, it’s a good time to learn a trick from a Scorpio or
someone with Scorpio Rising. Right now is not the best time to be all things Aries; in your face directness might blow up in your face. Of course, you thrive on a challenge, and this might sound like a challenge to you…
Taurus
Should we discuss that blast from the past? Should we talk about old lovers who crawl up from the depths of hell to torment you one last time? Or is everything going along swimmingly? I doubt the good part, but that might be my cynical nature and basic mistrust of humankind. You should be exhibiting a basic mistrust of humankind this week, too. Not that everyone is bad, just a few individuals, like folks at work, are enough to make you want to join the Hermit Society.
Gemini
Old loves, like garbage that hasn’t been taken to the curb yet, may begin to smell this week. Igniting an old flame was a good idea, or so it seemed at the time. Now this old flame has turned into some kind of nightmare like airbrushed artwork on a professional Monster Truck. It was fun at the show, but this isn’t
something you want hanging around. Like that car-crushing super truck, your old love might try to run over you.
Cancer
This time of year brings a panoply of wild flowers. A Lupine, native in Texas, is usually growing with a wild riot of color. This is the State Flower, and it can be very pretty. Your problem is that this plethora of spring growth is aggravating your sinuses. Actually, it’s Mars, Mercury and Saturn aggravating your chart, but it feels like a sinus congestion that won’t go away. This is where you should heed warnings about Mercury Retrograde. You know the drill, get under the bed and don’t come out…
Leo
I’ll keep this short. Bad week, good weekend. Simple enough? Usual annoying Mercury Retrograde problems will crop up and in your fine, inimitable style, you will create havoc for other folks. Then it’s their problem, not yours. The simple summation I started with really doesn’t hold true because you’re in position to take advantage during Mercury Retrograde. Just don’t let the Conspiracy People get to you.
Virgo
Virgos and their cars… What could be more apt? Ever notice the kinds of car a particular sign drives? Virgo’s all seem to drive something somewhat eccentric but ever practical. Not all Virgo’s are obsessed with keeping their car immaculate. I was riding with a Virgo the other day, and you couldn’t see the floorboard for the food wrappers and newspapers. With Mercury Retrograde right now, there might be something stirring, something alive, in all that stuff. If you haven’t cleaned your car, I’m not sure this is a good time. Let the little beasties alone for the time being.
Libra
Libra’s are great; warm, kind, caring. Often, you’re called “loving Libra’s” and that’s a nice way to put it. We’ve got a problem this week, and it has to do with several planets. The good news is that you are mentally quick. Agile, even. The bad news is that no one understands you, and you get mad, and you pout. Pouting won’t help. Make an attempt, despite Mercury’s evil arrangement, to get your ideas across. If I told you otherwise, you wouldn’t listen, so just be aware that someone, someplace, is listening. Might not be the intended audience, but you will be heard.
Scorpio
Bothered by mood swings? Turmoiled by the bouncing ball which seems to be your emotional state? In some circles, a nice cup of hot tea (caffeine-free, of course) is in order. In other places, a decent brew pub might help. Here at FGS World Headquarters, we suggest a day in the boat. You might be feeling restless, so motor around to the good fishing spots. You’ll spend a lot of time changing positions and not much time actually fishing, but remember that the journey is the reward. As long as you’re on the lake, you’ll feel more calm, as long as you turn the beeper off and forget the boat phone.
Sagittarius
You don’t want to be a New Age hypocrite right now, so don’t adopt a philosophical stance you can’t back up or take a stand that you have no intention of seeing through. It’s one of those times to take it easy in a big way. Be careful about what situations you get yourself into this week because that normal Sagittarius good luck is taking a break. Don’t panic. It’ll be back in a week or two.
Capricorn
Bluebonnets, the color of the sky… and it’s spring time for you! (Or as we say in Texas, “sprang.”) Consider yourself in a marginally good position to move forward. Just don’t count on help from others. In fact, others may try to remove the “sprang” from your step. Doesn’t mean you won’t succeed, just means that it will feel like a serious struggle. Of course, being a quality Cappy, you need some struggle to make it interesting.
Aquarius
As Venus makes a last pass through your sign, it will take you to a place filled with Love and Light, a bright white light. Sort of like the kind of light used by the White Light Nazi New Agers of Santa Fe. Or Sedona. Or even Austin. Be careful of get-well quick schemes floating your way, as if wafting in a spring time zephyr-like breeze. Think back to the white light, and the place it takes you to. And when you get to this place filled with white light, you’ll be asked to take a number…
Pisces
I’ve discovered that you have a remarkable affect on the rest of us, and a huge number of you engage in a little-known sport called “group meditation.” In this sport, a large group of people sit together and do nothing but vibrate with brain waves. I wouldn’t want to sound skeptical or cynical, but I have to wonder about this. What does it mean? If you have an answer, wait until Mercury Retrograde is over to tell me.
