Week of: 6/8-14/1998
Sir Toby: What shall we do else? were we not born under Taurus? (12th Night, I.iii)
Aries : You’re day has finally arrived! Well, maybe it’s not a single day, but more like a whole week. But the idea that your ship has come in is finally here. Actually, it looks a lot more like a bass boat than a grand ocean liner, but I hope you get the picture. In the fishing pond of life, Saturn is finally heading into another sign, and that brings you some much needed relief. I just hope that it isn’t a “flood of relief” because that’s not what you need: you ship arrives and it starts sinking.
Taurus : Let’s give a fine, Taurus hello to old Mr. Saturn this week. This is a big deal in the astrology chart for the week. Many folks will be buzzing about this for weeks to come. And what does Saturn mean? Work. Lots of work. In fact, more work, and lower wages than ever before. I’m not too sure about the low wages, I never voted Republican, but the work is there. I would expect some subtle shifts with your employment will be starting this week. Now, do like the wise man says, and get prepared to work hard because there are some rewards for hard work. Of course, here at FGS World Headquarters, we have never documented this hard work thing too well.
Gemini : We have the Sun and Mercury acting like a white punks on dope right now. In fact, this is like triple latte in the hands in the hands of a fifteen year old kid (his mother has never forgiven me). And what does it do for you? With Mars and the eternal flame of Vesta warming you up, too, you just don’t know which way to go. Good thing you’re Gemini and you don’t need to pick just one direction right now. Watch the driving because this would be a bad week for you to miss an exit on the freeway of life. With Mercury stirring things up for you, you are more talkative than ever.
Cancer : Yeah, yeah, it’s always darkest before the dawn. You know that. And the dawn is coming next week. In fact, you’ve got a special celestial gift coming next week. Problems? This week you are stuck with what we term the “Lone Ranger” syndrome. It’s not a good week to barricade yourself in a trailer house with massive amounts of firearms even though that is what you feel like doing. All those firearms don’t do a lot of good if you forget to bring supplies. Hot tip of the week: clean out the cat’s litter box.
Leo : This is a good week to attract a lot of attention. Do something to bring the party home with you. Get your ideas straight early in the week because you’ve got a chance to start making these ideas work for you later in the week. Some astrologers will tell that this is a good time for business, but being the kind of guy that I am, I would suggest you turn this business plan towards the fun side of life, and work on planning a good party right now. Of course, your goals and methods may vary a little from what I suggest.
Virgo : Communication is very much an important issue right now. It’s not a bad time at all for good communication with significant others in your life. In fact, you’ve got a little “issue” which needs some love and light at this time. You might not be feeling particularly “love and light” in your mood at this time, but it really is good time a to deal with it. Ever have a fishing buddy who has some repulsive habit in the morning, liking slurping coffee at 4 AM? Time to let them know about this. But try to do it with kindness.
Libra : What a good week this is for Libra! It feels like this is one of those weeks that no matter what you touch, it ought to turn to gold, in a strictly metaphorical sense. That’s the good news. The problem is that you fingers don’t always agree with you. I know I’ll get some email from a particular Libra who will say things about this. And the email will look like it could have really used a spell checker. So try proof reading everything that goes out. As much as you are on top of the world, no need to let little mistakes get you cut off. Or don’t let the fast fingers get you in trouble because you are typing too hastily.
Scorpio : I would love to quite getting hate mail from Scorpio’s. Especially my Mom. I don’t have issues with the sign. I don’t hate Scorpio’s. In fact, the only thing I’m trying to warn you guys about is the movement of a single planet which leaves you a little unsteady on your feet, so to speak. It’s not negative, it’s just not quite “right.” And that sets the tone for this week, where everything is not quite right. It’s not you, it’s the planets. And I’m only reporting what I see coming up. Pay attention to the details.
Sagittarius : I once wrote that this would be a bad week for cliff diving. I think I’ll use that line again this week. While you are normally really lucky, this might not be the best time to undertake outlandishly foolish endeavors as a form of recreation. Water was meant for boats, and boat were meant for fishing. Make an effort to pursue to quieter forms of recreation. And make an effort to stay out of dark alleyways, real or imagined. A little paranoia isn’t a bad thing right now.
Capricorn : Time to talk about trailer houses. A trailer house isn’t such a bad place to live. There’s no maintenance to speak of, no yard to mow, and the payments are low low low. I want to appeal to your more pecuniary side with that last statement about how low the payments are. This is a good week to negotiate a better deal for your housing arrangement. Realize this, though, a mobile home is the best idea at this point, because you can get tractor trailer to pick it up and move it.
Aquarius : Life is nothing if it’s not interesting. I’ve done a little research into the Aquarius modality this week, and I’ve observed that you are not normal, despite what your best efforts to the contrary try to prove. So get over it. You’ve got another one of your unique opportunities to express yourself. I would advise caution though, I’m not sure your idea of a beer can sculpture is exactly what your fishing biddies will understand. I mean, it’s a great idea, but you might want to reassess your target audience.
Pisces : I don’t know if you can stand anymore good news. And from what I’ve heard on the hotline, you might not be really feeling that altogether wonderful feeling I keep telling you is there. Get in touch with your “Inner-Bubba” and check out what he says. I’m sure his advice this week will be pretty straightforward. Fishing is in order. A little more recreation will help.
