Week of: 11/23-29

Aries : It's not a bad week, really, just because Mercury is doing a little retrograde number doesn't make everything miserable. In fact, it's one of those times when the lakes are beginning to ice up in the Frozen North (that would be the land past the Red River), and the ice fisher people are starting to look over their important equipment, and considering where to erect huts on the vast expanses of ice. I can't imagine fishing for frozen fish, I'd just go to the grocery store, but you get the idea. And this week, you're going to feel like you're fishing for frozen fish, too.

Taurus : Black Friday is approaching, and I can't tell you that this might not be a good time to engage in the shopping spree that everyone else is going to be entering into come Friday. It just isn't in your own best interest to get out there with the teeming masses and make big retail decisions. WE all know that you've got exquisite good taste. It's just one of those weeks when you should plead that "ate too much turkey" on Thanksgiving, and not worry about it all. You'll get you chance, coming up in a week or so, but this week, lay low after the traditional American "Big Feed".

Gemini : There's a creeping, sneaking, suspicious side to you that is going to get stronger and stronger as the week goes by. You will find that you are looking over your shoulder, expecting the worst, as the week goes by. There, lurking behind every fence post, in the shadows of your mind, or the shadows in the real world, you keep thinking that you are seeing people with cameras, and that lapel button a friend a is wearing, is it really a microphone? Or is that beeper really a TV camera and you're going to be on some news magazine tabloid talk show? This week, just because you feel like an extra for a conspiracy movie, doesn't mean that some one isn't out to get you.

Cancer : New and unusual is the operative idea this week. Unique comes to mind. It reminds me a Thanksgiving repast once enjoyed by my family -- I eschewed conventional tradition and ordered the delightful Tuna Surprise while everyone else had Turkey. As it turned out, the turkey was bad, but the Tuna thing was excellent. Tuna makes good sushi. Turkey doesn't. And, if your meal becomes a real drag, that sushi makes for some good bait. So think about trying the unusual for a change. Break the mold.

Leo : You have some pretty bizarre influences hitting you this week. That's the bad news. The good news is that these influences are all beneficial. At least, they are supposed to be. There's a strong suggestion in your chart this week that there is going to be a romantic event occurring, and when I say "event" I mean it in a good way, if you know what I mean. The holiday celebrations are going to be right up your alley, so to speak.

Virgo : There is some good news floating along right now, and that good news has to do with Mars. He's leaving your sign this week, and that means, in some circles, he's moving into the Virgo Second House. Things are going to heat up and cool off, and then heat up again, just like leftover turkey. So it looks like you've got a good week getting cooked up, now, it's just matter of taking advantage of it. There are some other cooking allegories which could be employed right now, but they all seem to come out about half-baked when compared to how your week is going to go. Yes, it's going to be a good time.

Libra : "And there was much rejoicing" (and partying and general carrying on). What's the good news for Libra? Why is the Libra Trailer Park lit up like it was Christmas Season? Of course! It is the Xmas season! But wait, there's a lot more in store for you lucky Libra types! Mars, that old warrior feller is coming into your sign, and at the same time, he's doing a nice little thing with the Sun who is going into Sagittarius. What's this mean? It means it is party time for you guys. No two ways about it, time to rejoice, shoot out the lights, that sort of thing.

Scorpio : While there is a major party going on elsewhere, please, my fine Scorpio reader, don't despair. There is brief moment when you are the center of some attention this week, and then you need to tend to the home-maker stuff. The good news is that an incipient romance, or romancing an idea, is going to get a good little boost this week. And the big day itself? Thursday looks good, but you'd better plan on spending some time with both your family and your new significant other.

Sagittarius : I know how good you are feeling this week. Believe me, I know. Regrettably, Mercury is back stroking in our sign right now, and that's going to create a little havoc. Travel plans for the holiday are likely to get screwed up. Doesn't mean that there won't be much rejoicing as old friends get back together, it just means that you need to allow a little extra time for the lines at the airport. I can see that parking is going to be a problem for you. My suggestion? Take a cab. Of course, I'd hope that you would give yourself enough time to allow for the snarled traffic, too.

Capricorn : Some astrologers talk about how worrisome Capricorn's are. Or that the sign of the Sea Goat has tendency to be preoccupied with monetary matters. I doubt that. But before Mr. Mars moves into a position that will feel like some one is fixing the roof of the trailer, get ready for a week of much frivolity. Isn't that a good word, "frivolity"? Play some. Exercise the fun muscle in your soul. Tell some jokes. Laugh (Cappy's make the very best comedy folks). Whatever you do, don't take anything too serious this week. And that would include other astrologers.

Aquarius : Interesting little pattern in your sky right now, and this interesting little pattern has to do with RELATIONSHIPS. When the word is all CAPS, you know what it means? Romance. Love. Lyric poetry which evokes fond thoughts, and sometimes, tender actions. I would recommend some of the tender actions this week. It will improve a situation that you're in, and you will certainly feel better. In fact, you will enjoy a certain amount of attention this week, just pay attention to the usual Mercury Retrograde warnings.

Pisces : Usually, I just check some coffee grounds for a reading on Pisces. Tea leaves seem to be more accurate than pedestrian astrology for wonderful Pisces. However, this week, and with what's happening in the sky, it's a good time to actually consult some astrology. Scientific stuff. You've got two objects in your sign right now which mean things are going to be good. One is Jupiter and the other is a little asteroid which will bring a heightened degree of thinking. So think about what you are going to do to make money, and use Jupiter's good fortune. One Roman Poet (Martial) reminds us that we need to make sure we ask Jupiter for lots of stuff. Same applies to Pisces this week.

About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person.

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