Week of: 12/28/98 – 1/3/99
The new Millennium is literally years away, at this point, about two years away. And that song from Prince is still going to be ringing in our heads as we all approach the “fin de secile” time.
Aries [3/23-4/20]: Venus, the Saturn, and the Moon, by the end of the week, are going to add to the increasing paranoia that you’ve been feeling because it really does feel like “they” are all out to get you. And just because you’re not normally the paranoid types, doesn’t mean that other folks aren’t out to get you this week. I know, it’s supposed to be a fun time, but the perturbations in the planets’ orbits is making this a tad uncomfortable for you this week. Don’t let the insignificant details bog you down this week, like a monster truck in the mud bog from hell, if you know what I mean.
Taurus [4/21-5/22]: While other signs are feeling less than wonderful, except for a troubling lack of sleep, things ought to be going rather well for you. I mean that. It’s a good week, No, it’s a great week. So what if you can’t get enough sleep right now? This won’t be too much of a problem. The usual warnings apply, of course, be careful when operating heavy machinery, bass boats and old Ford trucks. You should know better about that, though. Happy New Year, dude (or bubbette, whatever).
Gemini [5/23-6/21]: Okay, try it this way: other folks are uptight because of the holiday season, worried about credit card bills and so forth, but you’re not. Nope that isn’t quite right. Okay, imagine this: you’re on the lake, all alone, nary a breeze blowing, and you cast your line into that one special place and get a strike on the fist cast. Nope, that’s not quite it, either. See, there’s some good stuff for the Twins this week, but there isn’t enough of this good stuff to go around. Other folks wind up envious of your apparent success right now. Don’t let it get you down.
Cancer [6/22-7/22]: There’s just a couple of problems this week. Not big troubles, just annoying little ones. I mean, the worst of this is that the big date for the big night might just fall through. That, in and of itself, isn’t too bad. But that’s just one indication of the way the week goes. There’s also an indication that your little back-up plan might work a bit too well, i.e., both your dates show up. If I were younger, I would offer a helping hand, and take one of your dates off your hands; however, I can’t seem to keep up with angry significant others as well as I used to, so this week, love is your problem.
Leo [7/23-8/23]: Think back to the early 1970s. Think back to the music that was playing then. Realize this, my fine Leo friend, that the dawn of the age of whatever is a done deal as far as you are concerned. It’s been a long, and somewhat strange year to begin with, and now, you’ve got another one in the works. You’ve got some travel coming up, and I can only hope that this includes a trip to see your favorite astrologer. After all, you need some solace during these long and dark winter nights.
Virgo [8/24-9/23]: For some reason, romance always looks good right about now. and this is, seriously now, a good week for romance. It’s a high time for you to do something about the romantic predicament you got yourself into, as of late. I know you’re still looking for the perfect mate. But please, remember, unless you score yourself another Virgo, no other sign will measure up to your exacting standards. So with all this positive romance stuff going, maybe dating yourself at this time is the best bet.
Libra [9/24-10/23]: Action and adventure are waiting for you, right around the metaphorical corner. That’s the good news. But any time I start out with good news, you always get worried about the other news, don’t you? Well, this week, you should be. Venus and the Sun are in Capricorn, and if you remember my last lesson about astrology, Capricorn is a Cardinal sign, like you, and that means it makes an angle called a “square” to you. It ain’t wonderful, that’s for sure. So just keep your eyes on the future. Yes sir, that’s the best bet.
Scorpio [10/24-11/23]: floating in a late degree of Scorpio this week, are two of the leaders of the pack, leaders of the feminist asteroid pack, I should say. And like rabid, hairy-legged, tree-hugging, sandal wearing, tofu-eating earth muffin, these two little asteroid thingys are forcing you to take a look at some “issues” this week that you might want to avoid. The good news is, though, that the “issues” resolve in a pleasant way. Just don’t plan on the outcome of some events. This week, things might turn out better than you expected.
Sagittarius [11/24-12/21]: Old Mister Mercury is hot on you this week, making tracks across your horse’s backside. Be careful of the motor mouth syndrome. Instead of running off at the mouth, under this little kick from mercurial influences of the heavens, try to contain yourself. You would hate to be the last person standing at the party, on that fateful evening, still talking, now wouldn’t you?
Capricorn [12/22-1/20]: Somewhere, out in the land filled with FGS Faithful, there’s a lucky Capricorn. Is it going to be you? It could very well be. It’s the birthday segment of our regularly programmed material, which means you are going to feel like a star on some Saturday Morning Fishing Program. Bass Masters of the Universe. Doesn’t matter where you are, if you are that one special Cap, you know that this a good week for you to shine. Just think, we’ll be sending the limousine around to pick you up soon. Or maybe an old truck. But you will be taken care of in high style, that’s for sure.
Aquarius [1/21-2/18]: These are the days of wine and roses. I just hope it isn’t Rose who is doing the whining. You need to exercise a little bit more caution than usual in the coming days, as this new year thing gets kicked off. Mr. Sun is in the Aquarius collective unconscious right now. So you need to watch the mouth a bit. In fact, be very careful about not shooting off at the mouth this week. In your romance arena, that great big tractor pull in the sky of love; however, you’ve got a little boost from Mars. Careful, though, because Mars can work like turbocharger this week.
Pisces [2/19-3/22]: Precision is your word for this week. I know, I know, everyone else is out having a good time. You need to stick to the precise nature of things. I realize you would rather use broad strokes for painting this canvas, but a week like this requires precision. It’s like the difference between using a net and fly-fishing. One covers a large area and catches everything, the good, the bad, the ugly. The other just catches the sweetest tasting trout which need to be pan fried in a little butter in order to make you happy. Remember to be precise this week.
