Week of: 1/11-17
“Anyone who denies reason to the stars must himself be devoid of reason”
(attributed to Cicero)
Aries [3/23-4/20]: Hey, I don’t like writing this stuff about you this week, but to be fair, if I didn’t warn you, everything might as well just blow up in your face. I’ve warned you about high explosive bait. And you certainly don’t need that. The problem has a lot to do with Mars, your ruling planet, and the fact that Mars moves into a position that is opposite Saturn, which is making a little, final pass at the late degrees of Aries. None of this bodes well for your temperament. Doesn’t mean it’s bad, just watch the temper because it can change just like the Texas weather.
Taurus [4/21-5/22]: You may feel a bit of fear and trepidation as this week opens, but there are some unusual things happening in the heavens, and I mean “unusual” in a good way. In the middle of the winter, most bass fishermen try some deep water lures because nothing is stirring on the surface. But it looks like you’re going to grab a nice Zara Pooch, or one of its derivatives, and watch things happen with “kickin’ topwater action” this week. Maybe it’s because I got my new Bass Master Calendar with all the lures in lurid color, but I think you get the idea: fly in the face of convention this week — dare to do something different. Do something that goes against conventional wisdom.
Gemini [5/23-6/21]: At least, a Gemini never has to be bored. And this one of those week’s that I’ll assure you, you won’t be bored. I’ve lectured before about the problems of dating more than one person at a time. Or attempting to entertain more than one significant other. Usually, though, a good Gemini can do this, but not this week. Careful with the flirtation, excitations, and good vibrations you give off this week because it’s not one of those times that you want to be entertaining notions. Pay attention because you especially don’t want to entertain notions of entertaining notions this week.
Cancer [6/22-7/22]: Does the term “flame” mean anything to you? I’m not talking about the term “flame” as in searing heat of a BBQ lit flame. No, and I’m not talking about the pejorative use of the term of “flaming” as in respect to a person’s apparent sexual orientation, either. Nope, the flame I’m talking about is reserved for a virulent form of written communication, oftentimes referred to as “flame mail.” Flames get fanned into a roaring fires, and often as not, over some stupid little idea. So this is a week to be careful with that communication because I know you’re right, you know you’re right, it’s just that third party who seems to be a bit obdurate. Don’t fan their flames, if you know what I mean.
Leo [7/23-8/23]: Venus is over yonder, on the farside of the zodiac, stirring up mischief in Aquarius. As such, in strict astrological terms, we call that an “opposition”, and while this normally an unkind thing, due to the benevolent nature of Venus, it ain’t so bad. And speaking of The Farside, you’ve got a new romantic interest. Regrettably, you might feel like you are actually living in a Farside cartoon this week. It’s not bad, just different. Besides, if we were to compare dating notes, I’m sure I’ve dated far scarier people than you ever will. So don’t fret about it.
Virgo [8/24-9/23]: One of the greatest movies of all time was filmed in Scottsdale, AZ. And it had one of the most enigmatic lines of all time: “Strange things are afoot at the Circle K.” You’ll notice as this week goes by, just when you thought you could sit down and enjoy a decent video game, or maybe some solitaire on the computer, there are some untimely interruptions as Fate decides to intervene in your perfect world order. This isn’t bad, but it does mean that there is going to be some extra activity at the old homestead pretty soon. For extra credit and chance for a trivia prize, was it Bill, or Ted, who said that?
Libra [9/24-10/23]: I usually exclaim in great excitement, about how wonderful it is to be a Libra with Mars doing his thing in your sign. And, for the most part, that’s true this week. But not all week. This weekend holds a thing that is none too comfortable for you. I’d say it’s a surprise, but it isn’t really. It’s a little project you’ve been working on, like rebuilding a boat motor, only to discover that a double jointed monkey wrench with a special spherical hex head (metric size only) is required to finish putting it all back together. Good news: this tool can be ordered. Bad news: it will take a week to get here. Patience is the watchword.
Scorpio [10/24-11/23]: I took a few extra steps before sitting down to right about Scorpio for this week. A little mood lighting, a little incense, a candle burning with a sweet and delicate fragrance. … just for you guys. The deal is this: Mars, one of the planets associated with that wonderful sign of Scorpio, is in the proceeding sign, and that makes you prone to some rather unusual behavior. But follow my lead here, if you go through the ritual of clearing away the work space, getting rid of some clutter, and getting ready for some good things to happen, it might work out well. All you have to do this week is prepare, and prepare properly. As a last thought, make that “prepare thoroughly,” too.
Sagittarius [11/24-12/21]: I was doing my humble duty and hauling the trash out to the back of my truck this morning, and I thought to myself, “Self, this is an excellent metaphor for Sagittarius for this week.” Now, what you need to remember this week is to put a tarp over all that trash which is riding around in the back of truck. You might want to make a detour or two before you get to the dump. And nothing is worse than having all your trash, the stuff you were trying to throw away, get scattered all over the highway. Worse, is finding it on the mythical Main Street. I just worry that my garbage might wind up on Congress Avenue, here in town. So do a little follow up on your trip to the dump, and make sure you don’t scatter too much trash before you get there. Some obnoxious person might find your address and then it’s a scene from a song, just like “Alice’s Restaurant.”
Capricorn [12/22-1/20]: More belated Cap Birthdays. It never ceases to amaze me at the number of wonderful Capricorns b-days which are coming along. My address book is arranged by sign, and so many Caps to choose from! This week Mercury is still firmly entrenched in your sign, and he is making you talk quite a lot. Be a little careful as the weekend approaches, though, and be prepared to take some work home with you, or, worse case scenario, be prepared to work a little extra on Saturday and Sunday. I know, I would rather be fishing, but this paperwork needs your attention and that means you get a chance to play, next week.
Aquarius [1/21-2/18]: Full Steam Ahead as long as Venus is doing her thing in your sign. I mean, the love that just started, it has a chance to take off and rock your world, if it hasn’t done so already. That’s the wonderful news. The less than wonderful news is that you’ve put on a pair of Sunglasses, and like the singer who suggests “I wear my Sunglasses at night” would say, it might not be such a hot idea. Work on getting your feet back on the ground. Or a foot. I think the idea of being grounded is little too frightening for a good Aquarius. Just toy with the idea of reality — no need to embrace it.
Pisces [2/19-3/22]: There are no bad influences in the world according to Pisces this week. None. No problems, no hassles, someone will even let you cut in line so you avoid a long wait as you try to return that Xmas gift which was really cute, but just not your style. I wish I could have a nice, easy going week like you’re fixin’ to have. I could use one. But my problems aren’t your concern right now. We do have some “unusual” influences working on you, and it’s time to do something about that little bit of extra holiday weight you’ve got. No, seriously, you were so thin before, the added weight looks good on you!
