Week of: 5/24-30

Memorial Day Weekend coming up

"And moody Pluto winks while Orpheus plays."
From Shakespeare's The Rape of Lucrece, Part I, line 637.

Aries : The way I see it, and some people will tell you I have faulty vision,
but the way I see it, this is a good week. Yes, there are a few disturbances
on the Aries Lake of Life, like that one annoying Jet Ski punk who keeps churning
up the lake when you're trying to fish. Now here's the hint for the week: firearms
are not an effective form Jet Ski control. Nope, it just makes a big mess, and
ultimately, lands you in place a you don't want to go. No reason for using excessive
force this week, because strong measures just don't seem to work. But it's not
all bad. That Jet Ski rider will realize that he's bothering you and behave
in a more neighborly fashion by tearing off to another place on the lake. Eventually.

Taurus : Sometimes, the only constant in life is change. Regrettably, my dear
Taurus friend, this change is a coming down the pike at you, and you're going
to feel like it isn't of your own doing. That's going to be a problem. Instead
of being the Bull this week, you're going to feel a lot like the Bull Rider.
While this is a noble occupation, the results of getting bounced off the back
of the bull are not always good. It's not really the sailing through the air
part, it's that sudden stop when the Rodeo Arena dirt suddenly slams you in
the face. It's not always fun. Making it through this week is going to be a
bit of a challenge, to use a small amount of typical Texas Understatement. It's
the sudden stop at the end which can cause the most damage, so be prepared.

Gemini : There's nothing quite as much fun as dating a Gemini. You're going
to have to trust me on this one. Or, as my Sister once asked, "What's there
not to love?" Some people just have no sense of adventure, and that's what this
week brings to Gemini land. And Gemini land is going to look like one of those
computer games with multiple levels this week. It's Mercury, and Mercury is
winging his way all over you. While this is a fleeting influence, it can be
good. But you're going to find that you are more active this week than usual.
It's like someone wound up your mainspring, and maybe they got this spring a
little too tight. So, once again, you're moving in a typical Gemini style, and
the rest of us look like we're in slow motion.

Cancer : There's one of those old rules, a corollary to Murphy's Law, which
suggests that "anything that begins well, ends badly." Sorry for the bad news
this week. Somebody had to break it to you. The week begins okay, it's just
an untimely event as the weekend nears which has a strong Venus and Mars influence.
Being the perspicacious Cancer that you are, you will realize that Mars is Retrograde
and Venus is in Cancer. I'm not about to suggest that a relationship is headed
into dire straights, but you know, it could be a time when you need to assess
this relationship information and maybe carefully do nothing. It couldn't hurt.
No reason to make a bad situation worse, or make a good situation bad, and it's
an especially good time not to make announcements that, deep in your heart,
you know you have no chance of fulfilling. Don't panic and might I suggest as
little action as possible is a good thing.

Leo : If it's not one thing, then it's another. And that's what this week feels
like. It's always something toying with you. And a Leo is not one to be toyed
with. You will feel like there is someone, someplace, making light of your situation,
you're discomfort. This leaves you less than happy, if you catch my drift, and
I'm sure you do. Now, what to do about this? It's really quite simple, a little
quiet time, still the inner mind, clear the brain of the annoying noises and
think. In fact, the more time you spend thinking about it, the better off you
are. All it requires is some thought. This thought process is bound to yield
up some creative solutions to difficult problems. That's one of the plethora
of qualities I like about Leo, always creative -- so use it. Make me proud.

Virgo : The last time I saw an influence like this in the Virgo chart, I wrote
eloquently about love. At least, it was as eloquent as an astrologer can be.
And there were a number of Virgo's who complained bitterly about the forecast.
It wasn't the eloquence that bothered them, it was the fact that there was nothing
on the horizon that remotely resembled romance, much less love. So I won't write
nice things and we'll just see what happens. But be forewarned about a such
a forecast at time like this, conventional astrological lore suggests that this
is not a good time to initiate a new romance. I wouldn't be surprised, though,
if an old flame flared up at this time.

Libra : Libra is a good sing, it's the first sign that appears on the top side
of the horizon in a natural zodiac wheel, the fist sign that moves out of the
"me" syndrome and into the "we" section of life. And Libra is characteristically
good at management. But Libra also has few problems with its management style
this week. It isn't a time to be harsh, and let details get in the way. It isn't
a good time to try and "force" your hand, to borrow a cliche. Mars is not making
merry in your sign right now, and that means your sense of timing and balance
will not pay off this week. In fact, you're going to feel like you are a little
out of step with everyone this week. Doesn't matter what you try to do, you
just can't seem to pull it off. Relax, your time will come. Order will return.
Just not this week.

Scorpio : This is a week where you're caught between two objects in the sky,
and neither one looks very promising, at least, not at first glance. But I don't
want to paint an absolutely bleak picture for the Scorpio this week. It's not
absolutely bleak -- this apparently random action of the heavens that has taken
quite the toll on your life is going to be okay. Yes, I know, it is a little
uncomfortable his week, but without a certain degree of discomfiture, you wouldn't
get motivated to attack certain problems which you left unattended weeks ago.
Might actually have been months ago, but I tend to think in a more present mind
set. Little problems are nothing more than major setbacks waiting, lurking,
patiently standing by, and "just fixing to" surprise you. But you are a Scorpio,
and you are prepared. And there's this way of looking at things which involves
strange angles and resonant vibrations, which would suggest that you can turn
some of these problems around, turn them into assets this week. Use this weird
angle like an angel, and put the bad stuff to work FOR you, not against you.

Sagittarius : While this is "allegedly" a good week to be a Sagittarius, by
traditional astrology standards, I have to wonder about it a little. As the
weekend draws closer, you're either going to be blessed or blamed for something.
It's bound to be one of those two. There's weird romance aroma floating in the
air, but like an exotic special at the diner, you're not sure if this one smells
good or bad. It depends on how adaptable you want to be this week, too. It could
be a fun time to give that new dish a try, and it might turn out to be really
wonderful, full of exotic flavor and bizarre spices. or, it might be something
that you just want wrinkle your nose up at, and suggest that you go back to
a more basic fare like a hamburger. If you're willing to step out a little,
live on the would side this week, take the plunge, do something different, it
could have wonderful effect. Or maybe my premonition about that special dish
being rather yucky is right.

Capricorn : What's a good Capricorn going to do without a little adversity?
And what's a relationship without a little adversity? In fact, why bother getting
out of bed if there isn't a little adversity to deal with? And what's with all
the questions about adversity, anyway? It's a unique and special Mars and Venus
week, and you know what those two mean: fleeting romance issues are at stake.
In fact, more than one lovely Cappy has suggested "burning at the stake" as
an appropriate way to deal with adversity, but I'm going to stay away from the
obvious BBQ metaphor there. But romance this week is like something done by
an amateur (probably a California native) BBQ cook: it's burnt crisp on the
outside and raw on the inside. While that suits my particular tastes, it might
not make the Capricorn taste buds jump for joy. So the relationship BBQ sandwich
this week might not be a tasty morsel for you guys. It's just those two little
love planets having heated debate -- you do not have to jump into the fray.

Aquarius : One way, or another, this is going to be one of those weeks for
the books. Perhaps, it's going to be one of those weeks that you want to write
about, and then delete the pages. Or maybe, there are wonderful things afoot,
and you just don't realize it yet. So before you delete those pages you wanted
to forget about, I'd suggest that save what put down, because it might prove
very useful -- later. There is a lot going on in your sign, and in signs which
affect you. All this astrological activity can get you wired up like a set Christmas
lights. But you want to be careful this week, because you don't want to overload
your own, personal electrical outlet. You really shouldn't plug more than 14
sets of lights into one plug. Trying to over achieve this week will result in
a setback, kind of like a blown fuse. And if you do blow your fuse, then this
really be one of the weeks for the books.

Pisces : It's rather warm here in Texas. It's what we call "Summer." Happens
every year, about the same time. Predictable. And this summer promises to start
out no different than any other summer. It's going to be a hot one. So much
for the good news. And since I have nothing but good news for Pisces this week,
let's continue talking about the weather because it's a good way to avoid the
problems at hand. It's not like there are really any major problems, but like
the weather, it's all kind of hot and a little sticky. Unless you live in Houston,
then it's miserable because it's hot and sticky and Houston. Pisces is going
to feel like an afternoon is Houston, one of those days when it's 90 and 90,
that's 90 degrees and 90 percent humidly. Not really bad, but not really comfortable,
either. I know you'd rather be at the lake right now, but it looks like you're
stuck with work instead. Work is a lot like a summer day in Houston right now.

About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person.

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