6.21.99

Week of: 6/21-27

The strong-wing’d Mercury should fetch thee up

Cleopatra in Shakespeare’s Antony and Cleopatra [IV.xiii.65]

Disclaimer: quiz question is located in Sagitarius, conjunct Pluto.

Aries : There’s a certain frenetic energy that infuses your life this week, a lot like a monster truck about to attack the moguls on the infield in some stadium monster truck racing. It’s not really that bad, and the deal with the bumps? Like most of your problems this week, these are artificial constructs, something some other guy with a bulldozer put together, just to make you uncomfortable. But it’s only this week, and if you hit the first one with enough speed, you can fly over the rest. If you’ve built up some momentum, a little speed, a short burst of acceleration in your short run towards the big pile of troubles ahead, you can get some air underneath you and literally sail over the rest of the troubles. Of course, if you falter or fail to gain to necessary escape velocity, it’s going to be a long week on those infield bumps.

Taurus : Relax. Take a deep breath Imagine yourself in a little pontoon boat in the middle of the lake. Imagine yourself with an old cane pole, casually drowning works. Reminds me of Antony and Cleopatra on the Nile, in her fishing barge. This image is nothing like what your week is going to feel like, but it’s a nice image. And I’m sure you get the picture. There is a little bit of turbulence on this lake, and this serene image is going to be disrupted by Saturn, still making waves. However, there is the oddest little hint that you might not be alone in this small boat of yours, and times like this, a good friend to talk to, is a wonderful asset. Your friend might work out to be something more than just a friend, but with Saturn sitting firmly in the middle of your sign, I’m not going to push the metaphor too far. You shouldn’t either.

Gemini : There is the briefest lull in activity right now. Naturally, this isn’t going to last all week, but the early part of the week does indeed, offer some respite. Now, a Gemini doesn’t like to slow down, and this apparent little time when everything stands still is not such a bad time to pause, reflect, and look back on some of your recent accomplishments. So much for the moment of reverie. There is a certain amount of clean up required in your home. This is a good week to tackle that. If you’re a good Gemini, and there is no such thing as a bad Gemini, then this is a the week to handle some of these chores around the house. Much later in the week, you’re going to get your chance to get out and have some fun, but I’m serious when I suggest that you take a few days off and maybe just do a lot of nothing. I’m sure you’ve got a hundred and one chores that you’ve been thinking about getting after, and this is a good time to do it. At least think about it.

Cancer : It’s the beginning of Cancer right now, and that means it’s supposed to be a party. Regrettably, not everything is lining up the way you want it to line up, not this week. I wish I could make it all happen for you. But until the stars learn to obey my every command, we’re both sort of stuck. However, I will promise that as the weekend draws nearer and nearer, you’re going to find more little pieces of the disruptive puzzle of life will beginning to fall into place. While you’ve felt like someone, or something, has been holding you back, I’d like to suggest that the closer the weekend gets, the better you feel. Whatever has been exerting an influence over your life right now will suddenly feel a lot easier to deal with. And you get that good attitude back, as well. By the end of the week, you’re going to be ready for a Cancer birthday bash, after all.

Leo : There are good influences, and there are some more desultory astrological aspects this week, as well. The real ability of a good astrologer can be judged by his or her ability to divine which influence has the strongest impact on your life this week. Is it the Sun, over yonder in moody Cancer now? Or is it the other little orbiting things in the heavens, like Venus and Mercury, both in your sign? Only a true Leo will know for sure, but since you’re reading this, I’d make a fair assumption that are, indeed, a true Leo. Weighting this week’s planetary movement, I’m more inclined to believe it’s the beneficial influence of the Venus and Mercury rather than just Old Mr. Sun. But I would be a little careful about being too much of anything this week, unless you’re just being a lot of Leo. It’s the smaller orbiting things that have the good news.

Virgo : There’s still a little tension in the air, and the good news, my fine Virgo reader, is that this tension is definitely not in your sign. However, it is rather close to you, and it’s not like tension on a fishing line when you’re trying to reel one in, either. It’s a sort of expectancy, an air of expediency, a certain degree of exasperation with other people this week. Personally, and I have enough Virgo in my chart to make this work, I would stick close to home right now. But I wouldn’t tackle any of the more dangerous details, like mowing the lawn. I realize that it’s summer time here in Texas, but a little time under the swamp cooler, maybe with a good book, or, at the very least, an interesting magazine article or two will actually help. It’s just a small degree of avoiding the rest of the folks who are so uptight.

Libra : Mars and Jupiter are still having a little tug of war. Both are good, and the way these two are facing off against each other might remind you of some wrestling match. This would be a world wide web type of match, wherein two guys who used to be on the same team are now trying to settle a score. Your mission, this week, should you choose to accept it, is to mediate between these two. Of course, I tend to look at this more like the job of a gladiator rather than mediator, but if you’re careful, it won’t be a problem. You are going to discover that there are better places to be. And it doesn’t matter where you wind up this week, that better place is always going to be where you’re not. It’s those two planets having one last laugh at you — don’t worry about it.

Scorpio : You are a deep and intense sign, and there’s just no two ways about that. Of course, this often means that the other people you encounter, dare I suggest that they are the lesser signs of the zodiac, sometimes just don’t “get” you. Your acerbic wit and sardonic style often goes flying right over their little heads. And that’s the trouble this week. I know you have great messages, great wisdom, and some good news, but I don’t know if the “Lesser 11” will understand. It’s time to put your preaching on hold for a week or so. Take notes, be studious, but act not. Or act not too rashly. Or be not rash of mouth. A hasty and ill-timed comment this week can land you in a lot of trouble, no matter how right you actually are.

Sagitarius : Ever notice that the disclaimers on advertising are getting longer and longer? That guy with the quick voice who reads the fine print manages to cram a lot of words into a short period of time? Ever wonder just exactly what he’s saying? And are you tired of the probing questions yet? It’s a good week for just such an investigation, for you, because there is some fine print in your life that needs your attention. This week. It’s important to deal with what the little stuff at the bottom of the page says. In fact, it’s a good week to hire an attorney. Let me know if you need any help because there are few good lawyers out there, and the right person to translate the fine print will make a big difference. Like everything else in life, though, you might have to wade through a few to get to the good ones. If you’ve got anything that isn’t already listed in my web fine print, a really good disclaimer, submit it to me, and if I like it, you can earn a free abbreviated “el-cheapo” chart interpretation, delivered via E-mail.

Capricorn : You experience a great air of expectancy this week. It’s like your neighbor’s BBQ grill, on a Sunday afternoon. The delicious aroma of various animal parts combined with mesquite smoke and the smell of a sweet/hot sauce, and the very thought of this combination will make your mouth water. The bad news is that you’re going to feel like your neighbor never invited you over to share in the fine culinary adventure about to happen. You can almost taste how good that BBQ is because the fumes keep drifting over into your space. It’s enough to drive a person mad. But don’t go away mad. At the very last minute, this week, you’re neighbor will pop his beady little unforgiven head up, and he will invite you over to partake of the wonderful food. Don’t order pizza when you can really have good BBQ, if you’re just patient enough. And just how many farm animals can you fit on your plate?

Aquarius : I should have some canned text for you this week, but I can’t bear the thought of recycling some trite astrology phrase for what you have happening this week. In typical Aquarius fashion, it’s different for you. There’s a romance thing, a hint from the heavens that a sudden, almost chance encounter delivers some one, some thing, some… words escape me. It’s like, perhaps, look: when Fate delivers to your front door, it’s up to you to answer the call. Heed the beckoning of the heavens and listen to what Fate has to say. You have a chance encounter that can really blow your socks off, if you get the idea, and it’s up to you to seize this moment. When I suggest that you “seize” the event, I mean, grab this person or thing that gets delivered and hold on tight. It might not be a long ride, but ask any real cowboy, 8 seconds can feel like eternity. Why pass up a chance like this?

Pisces : I once wrote about “times that tried men’s soul,” but I was addressing the fact that almost every trip I take overseas literally wears out the soles on a pair of cowboy boots. I guess those Europeans walk a lot. In shoes. South Texas being what it is, shoes are strictly a luxury item except when we go Country and Western Dancing. Then boots are required. But having your soul tested is going to be a question this week. I think it’s more like pop test as opposed to one of the Graduate Entrance Exams I once took, more like a little quiz that which greatly resembles the ubiquitous online survey forms. But you’re going to feel like it’s one of those massive exams and you’re also going to feel like you didn’t get enough sleep the night before. This is a week to be ready. Be as prepared and clear headed as possible. My wager is that you pass the test, and it will turn out to be lot less important than you think.

© Kramer Wetzel, 1998, 1999

About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in a trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at KramerWetzel.com.

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© 1993 – 2022 Kramer Wetzel, for astrofish.net &c.

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