Week of: 8/2-8
A station like the herald Mercury
New-lighted on a heaven-kissing hill,
A combination and a form indeed,
Where every god did seem to set his seal,
To give the world assurance of a man.
Hamlet in Shakespeare’s Hamlet [III.ii.106-10]
There are game show prizes are available in the Crusteacen Horoscope.
Aries : Just when it looks like the pressure is about to let up, just when it looks like everything is going to work out, and just when you feel as if there is relief in sight, just over yonder, if you will, that’s when you run into yet another problem. It’s not like any of this major, not in a big way, it’s just that there is one confusing and upsetting event right after another which all conspires to make things a little more difficult than they should be. It’s like sitting down to eat a bowl of chili and discovering that you have no crackers. How can you eat decent bowl of truck stop chili without cracker? At times like this, the best thing to do is improvise. Or forgo the crackers. But the condiments sometimes make the meal, if you know what I mean. And this is a week when you might one to consider ordering something a little less spicy than a delicious bowl of Red, swimming in grease and hot peppers.
Taurus : Retrograde planets have an important affect on your life this week. And I’m not really referring to Mercury whose errant retrograde path has been done to death. In this case, I was perusing the effect of Venus in her backward flight, and seeing as how it was going to impact you, I figured I’d better draw your attention to this fact. It’s like the radiator in my old truck. It only leaks when a certain planet is retrograde, and frankly, it really isn’t worth replacing because the cost of the parts would far outstrip the value of the vehicle. And my guess would be that your faced with something that’s leaking water, too. It’s just Venus, and as long as she moving backwards, you want to make sure that she doesn’t cause anything in your life to leak water. Or coolant, as the case may wind up. As long as this little planet is doing her “thang,” a little extra caution in the tear-jerker department is best. Maybe a lot of caution. No country and western this week — it will just make you cry.
Gemini : Typically, for a Gemini, when Mercury turns around, everything gets better. So that’s the start of the week. However, we are still dealing with a few extra and untoward influences right now. One of them is hammering some of the fixed signs. The other is Venus. The Venusian affect on you this week means that the stuff about old lovers coming back during a Mercury Retrograde is made worse. What was the name of that bad movie where corpses arose from the grave and haunted the living people? You might feel like that this week. No, Gemini isn’t going to feel like a corpse, but that former fan of yours might. Or that person might look like a corpse. Or you might look like you wish you were dead when this person resurfaces. It’s a flash from the past. In the blink of a mere mortal’s eye, this recurrent nightmare will disappear. But first, you get to have a little fun.
Cancer : This is a week to remember because you feel as if you are living in a movie. Everything has been set up for you, but you’re just going through the motions, acting the part. The better part of the news is that the denouement is about to happen. In as much as you would really like all the loose ends to get settled this week, and as much as I would like to provide that for you, this isn’t the week for such things. There are still a few odd bits from the plot line which have yet to be resolved. This week will feel like a cliffhanger. But do hang on, because there is a great chance that you will get painted as the hero, a surprise dark horse coming from behind to save the day. It’s a good week to bet on a Cancer. Want to improve your odds? Which movie maker was over heard in an Austin restaurant saying, “Just bring some food.” E-mail your educated Cancer guess, if it’s right, you can earn a chance to win a free “E-mail FGS Astrology Planet Profile.”
Leo : In one branch of mythology, the Sun gets swallowed by a dragon, and that’s the cause of an eclipse. That same dragon can also gulp down the Moon, but since the Moon is smaller and closer, I don’t think that’s near as a big a deal. That same eclipse causing dragon has your fine Leo tail firmly in its grip right now. Means that you feel like a cat whose tail has been slammed in the door. At this point, this week, we’re just waiting for someone to come along and open the door so you can get your tail out. Here’s a further note of caution: as soon as someone else cracks the door, don’t get up and run. That will leave some skin, off your fine Leo tail, behind. No reason to do that. Wait until the problem is completely solved before you move. As far as trying to figure it all out, it’s that dragon and its eclipse stuff that’s causing this. And some immediate relief is in sight, just don’t act to hasty when it gets here.
Virgo : There is an interesting event, at the early degrees of Virgo right now. I receive a lot mail complaining that on my explaining, so let me make this clear…. Venus is retrograde in Virgo. In the early part of the week, Venus occupies a point in the sky Western Astrologers locate by calling it, “4 degrees of Virgo.” Over yonder in Taurus, Jupiter occupies a point in the sky called, “4 degrees of Taurus.” The precise mathematical model, that measured distance between the two planets’ apparent location in the sky, is considered by many astrologers to be beneficial. So much for the good news. With Virgo ranting and raving, and Jupiter lending a boost to this, you’re going to find that it’s a really weird week. What seems to be important to you just isn’t nearly as important to the rest of us. However, we do have some matters we need Virgo to attend to. Like pronto, you know. If you’re wiling to work with us this week, next week, we will be willing to work with you. Call it a Jupiter influence.
Libra : I rekindled my interest in astrology by watching the phase of the moon. And that’s what you should be doing this week, too, because the lunar cycles are going to be a little more important than usual. As the moon starts to get closer and closer to being really full, you’ll notice that it seems to be closer and closer to our planet. You can almost reach and touch it. Too often, in astrology circles, the effect of the moon is not adequately covered. In your case, this week, the moon will leave you moody one minute, and joyously buoyant and hopeful, in the next few minutes. Then again, the Libra scales will shift, and you’ll be down. In fact, this is going to happen so fast that you’ll feel like you’re a Gemini. The trick is to ride these swift moon mood changes out. If you can position yourself correctly for the ever shifting tides, you’ll find that you can put yourself in a sweet spot for fishing. Yes, the fish you’re trying to catch will be even easier to get because they are as confused as you are.
Scorpio : I want to hear a sigh of relief coming from the Scorpio quadrant of the sky. I want to tell you Scorpio’s that everything is going to be all right. I want some of the unsettling changes in your life to settle down some. Alas, it is not to be this week. Mars is giving you drive, and Venus, along with a few other planets, are stirring things up in way that you might not like. Okay, okay, so you feel like your caught out in South Texas summer rain storm, one of those where the sky is suddenly black, a great bolt of lightening strikes the ground near you, and even the mesquite trees are afraid. The rain comes down in huge pellets that sting. The good news is that these summer showers are brief, torrential, and they bring some much needed moisture. It might be a little muggy when the storm is over this week, but you’ll be feeling ever so much better.
Sagittarius : There is such a thing as a romantic Sagittarius. And you might feel like you are just that creature this week. I should warn you, however, that even though you feel this way, the rest of the universe is not exactly on the same wavelength. Or page. In fact, despite your romantic leaning, you’re going to find that the rest of the people you encounter are not wanting a part of your plan at all. Your choices are pretty simple: either slide up next to a fellow Sagittarius and explore your feelings, or wait. If the fish you’re trying to land is another sign, you’re going to have to wait a little while because it’s just not going to happen this week. And that’s in spite of your very best efforts. I’m not about to suggest that you give up, but this is a good week to put some of your future plans out to pasture. It’s only for a little while, and the pasture is a safe place, all open fields and such. Never mind it’s summer in Texas.
Capricorn : If you’re quiet, just for a moment, you’re going to hear a distinct “boom, boom.” And, if you’re a normal Capricorn, you will be waiting on the third explosion. Here’s my tip for this week: there won’t be a third one. In fact, the second was a mistake on some of the Fixed Signs’ part. That means you don’t have a lot to worry about; however, in true Capricorn fashion, you will find something to crease your brow, and you will adopt a furrowed look. The good news, in this whole mess, is that you’ve got a small break coming. The trick is to be ready to act as soon as you hear that second “boom.” After that, and timing is everything, you should be able to scoop up whatever it is that you’re seeking this week. I know, I know the planets are in an awful state right now, but other signs’ misfortunes are merely opportunities for you.
Aquarius : I’m continually refining the way I try to define the characteristics of each sign, and one thing I’ve discovered is that every Aquarius is an individual, just like every other Aquarius. Your individuality might draw a little more criticism this week than you’re used to. The easiest way to deal with this sort of talk is to remember that critics are people who can’t actually accomplish the goal themselves. It’s really easy to tell a fisherman that he needs to improve his casting, that he’s moving his elbow too much when he’s working that fly rod. It’s another thing to actually get out and land the fly right where you want it, or better yet, right where the fish wants it. So when the critics start riding your tail this week, calmly do nothing but keep your elbow in, and land that lure in place where a certain big fish will strike. It’s easier to show them this week than waste any time trying to tell them.
Pisces : “Darn the details,” is what I say. Perhaps something with a little stronger language would help, but I sure hope you catch the sentiment intended here. It seems like everyone around you is concerned with the microscopic image, the small view, as it were. While this is fine if you are involved in molecular engineering, or nanotechnology, or anything that requires a micro viewpoint, the rest of us are wondering why you are so concerned with the small way of looking at things. Minute details are best left to other signs, and I really mean that for this week. Let some one else look after the “micro management” arrangements. Yes, my excellent Pisces, you do have a fine eye for detail right now. The problem is translating your fine eye for detail into a real world experience. That’s why you should let someone else worry about the details this week.
© Kramer Wetzel for astrofish.net, 1999
