9.20.1999

Week of: 9/20-26

‘Tis to his virtue a just equinox,
The one as long as the other; ‘t is pity of him.

Honest Iago in Shakespeare’s Othello [II.iii.163-4]

It’s the Fall Equinox this week, but the weather won’t cool off until after the Texas-OU game. successfully predict the outcome and see if we can’t get you in the running for an abbreviated El-Cheapo Planet Personality Profile for this week.

I’ll be at the event in Arlington this weekend, and if you want to get in for free, try telling the girl at the gate you’re on the aKramer Guest List — usually works for me.

Aries : Have you ever thought about joining the Chamber of Commerce? Or some other organization which supports your preferred activity? You’re really in a good position right now. I mean, it’s not at all bad, not in the least. I know, that the Fall Equinox is always a bit of a let down for you. But this one isn’t going to be too bad. I realize that it is finally turning into a little cooler weather in Texas. That means, some of the trees are changing from green to brown. Of course, with the recent Indian Summer, you have to wonder if a few Native American spirits aren’t extracting some sort of weird revenge right now. Personally, I always liked the Comanche, but I guess that’s another story. You might feel like a lone warrior this week, but I’m not going to worry about you. Consider joining a group this week. There’s always the FGS Faithful, and we’re open to anyone. Even Aries. Especially, Aries, and especially this week.

Taurus : You want to hear none of this romance stuff — not at all. You want to listen to no romantic verse. In fact, you want nothing to do with the romance era. You’re feeling a lot more Victorian than Romantic. I’ll suggest that this is a misnomer for your week, though. The Victorians had a kinky side. Just ask the Queen. And you’re week has a kink in it, too, but it doesn’t get here until this weekend. All I’m trying to do is suggest that you be a little more open to refreshing and invigorating ideas which are bound to pop up by this weekend. In fact, the later part of the week heats up nicely for you. There’s just something about the Fall Equinox which sets a little bit of adventure in your path.

Gemini : This is a time to consider how your love life is. Take a long, hard look at it. Okay. That’s long enough. In Gemini terms, anything longer than a two minutes (that’s 30 seconds in our real time) is a long time. And you’re starting to move at quite a little clip right now. In fact, you feel like one of those guys out on the lake who can never find the right place to fish. You’re going to be spending a lot of this week scurrying from spot to spot. You stop long enough to drop a line overboard, figure out the fish aren’t biting, and move on to the next spot. And this is going to be how you approach your Gemini lives this week — long enough to drop a line overboard, figure out there are no takers, and move on. I suggest you give it a little longer than thirty seconds. Some of us other signs don’t have the quick mental facilities that a Gemini enjoys. They take a little longer to reach a decision. Give that bait a chance to entice them.

Cancer : I was working on a good term to give you this week, but single words fail me. If you can think of one word that’s good for this week, let me know. There are two opposing forces at work in your chart. One is good — very, very good. The other is bad, very bad. Okay, so it’s not that bad, and I tend to be optimistic and let the good over rule the bad. If you can use that kind of attitude, the good winning out over the bad, you might just excel this week. The weekend promises to hold lots of adventure, just be a little selective about your fishing buddies. Make sure you have a partner for your boating adventure already lined up long before the weekend gets here. Nothing is worse than looking for a Friday night date on a desperate Friday afternoon.

Leo : I’ve been accused of handing out the identical advice to Leo, time and again, the same, tired expression. However, with the line up of the planets right now, you know, Mars and Venus getting closer to a nice angle, and the Full Moon coming up, I have but one recommendation for this week: Party On. While it does seem like it’s a bit overused, and I know that there isn’t a big event worth celebrating right now, perhaps you can organize a Fall Equinox party. I guess it depends on what continent you’re on, it’s the Fall up here in Texas. And it still means that I think the Leo’s should all gather together and get up a party for the rest of us. Something to celebrate the Sun’s transition from Virgo to Libra. With the Sun moving into an air sign, we all know that the air feeds that Leo fire. Party on? Sure!

Virgo : I realize that birthdays are over by now, or soon to be, but that doesn’t mean that the fun stops. On the contrary, my fine little Virgo friend, things are just now heating up. And I’m serious about play. You should be, too. This is a fine week to turn work into play. If you can approach the old J-O-B thing as a giant playpen, I feel like you will enjoy your week a lot more. An insouciant attitude, a little less somber outlook, a little more levity, and you will have some fun. Sure, the birthdays are over, and the Sun moves into Libra, but that never means the parties have to stop. Wasn’t it Saint Willie who sang, “The road goes on forever and the party never ends”?

Libra : We begin the Libra birthdays this week. As with the previous two signs, I keep recommending parties. There’s a certain lack of levity right now, and I trust that you can inject a frivolous attitude, especially considering it’s your birthday month. I slapped some of my favorite Country Music in the old CD player, and I found that I was toe-tapping and dreaming about the Two Step down at the now defunct “Hang ‘Em High Saloon.” You might try the same thing, a little bit of fast pedal steel guitar, a twang in the singer’s voice, happy lyrics about rodeos, trains and the open road might just do you some good this week. With the High Plains Fair in full swing this week, you might even consider taking a day off for some of this fun.

Scorpio : I got stuck on a rodeo metaphor this week because it’s a traditional time in Texas for certain events, like the State Fair of Texas. Imagine people gathering from all over the vastness of Texas, which is still vaster than the Peoples’ Republic of California, and all these folks from Texas will be comparing farm animals. Riding a little rodeo, doing a little bull dogging, roping a cow or two, and generally showing off. You’re going to feel like you’re doing just this sort of thing. The problem with this week is that you feel like doing all of this, but you don’t feel like getting out of the house. And if you do get out to the Midway, I’ve got a buddy working one of those games that you really need to stay away from. Yes, the games of chance are not a good idea this week. You’re going to feel like the odds are against, and they are. However, the spectator sports are a good idea. Look at some cattle.

Sagittarius : “He’s addicted to danger, ruled by passion and pride, to pain and fear he’s no stranger, hooked on an 8 second ride….” [Chris LeDoux, “Hooked on an 8 second ride” from his album “What you going to do with a Cowboy”]. I guess this week’s musical selection is pretty obvious. One of the nice things about Mr. LeDoux is that he’s a real cowboy who happens to sing. He’s “been there, done that” more so than most of the so-called country singers. His lyrics are a rather accurate example of what this week is going to feel like, too. Addicted to danger with the attention span of a bull ride, about 8 seconds. With Mars in Sagittarius right now, I would suggest sticking to mechanical bulls this week because there is less chance of bodily damage, less chance of being stomped. The real kind of bull riding, or other bull byproduct, is not such a good idea this week.

Capricorn : Ever have some of that special hot sauce — it’s like some of my chili — it tastes great at first. After you have heaped the second or third spoonful onto a chip and into your mouth, though, you begin to notice the afterburners. Like the jet engines, these afterburners start kick in with full force. Little beads of sweat form on your forehead. You find yourself gasping for breath. The waitress can’t bring enough water. To an experienced pepper person like myself, this sort of heat in my food doesn’t bother me a bit. I relish it. But to my fine Capricorn’s this week, you’re going to feel like a Yankee with delicate, Northern taste buds. If you had just sampled the hot sauce first, taken just taste, you’d have known to be a little more careful. So when you face this week, try to take little bites, maybe test something before you start shoveling it into your mouth.

Aquarius : Two things are going to happen later this week. Both are good. You are an Aquarius, right? Okay, so I’ll mislead you and suggest that it’s a bad week. Now, in your Aquarius mind, you’ll turn that around and make it a good week. Which is what it actually will be. There’s a little hint that some communications which have caused problems in the past — about three weeks ago — are going to come back to haunt you. In a good way. It’s like a person I read for once, coming back to see me again. “I saw you about three years ago, remember? Anyway, I didn’t like what you said, but you were right….” I feel like this week holds the exact same message for Aquarius. It’s back to haunt you, but in a good way. I doubt you have the delayed timing I had, but I figure three weeks is enough.

Pisces : Since it’s the tail end of our Hurricane Season, perhaps that’s an important message for our dear Pisces friends this week. Something about mutable water, and water that mutates. There’s a fair degree of mutations going on right now, and the fortunate deal for you is that you are adaptable. In fact, this is a time when you are going to be required to be more adaptable than usual. If you can just take some of the minor inconveniences in stride, avoid the hassles, and generally ignore all the little problems, the bigger tasks will take care of themselves. The last little bit of a Sun opposition is going to effect you. And don’t complain to me, I just report on the pesky planets.

About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in a trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at KramerWetzel.com.

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