Week of: 1/17-23/2000

    When can their
    glory fade?
    O the wild charge they made!
    All the world wondered.
    Honor the charge they made!
    Honor the Light Brigade,
    Noble six hundred!

    from Tennyson’s The Charge of the Light Brigade, lines 50-55, 1854

This week’s game show question is in Pisces, at the very end. And there’s an eclipse, too. Which brings up another interesting point. The last time there was an eclipse along the Leo and Aquarius axis in the tropical zodiac, I got several panic notes from the Leo camp about injuries. One of the biggest problems with being an astrologer, I mean, one of the eternal questions, is why doesn’t anyone drop me a note when things are really good? How come I just hear about all the bad stuff? So this week, due to the influence of the planets, and especially the eclipse, be careful when moving heavy objects, you don’t want to move a heavy object onto your foot suddenly.

The Austin Music Network has a morning show. ["Good Morning Austin!"?] For fun, I’ll be doing a spot on it with a quick look at the weekly events, astrologically speaking. Stay tuned. Or check your local listings for details….

Looks like I’ll be in Austin, at the event listed in the travel schedule, stop on by if you want my take on your astrology chart.

    Aries: I kept looking at the Aries Chart for this week, and I kept thinking to
    myself, “Stealth Bass Boat.” I realize this might not make a lot of sense to you this week,
    but it’s worth a try. You have some compulsions this week, and something like
    a stealth bass boat might look like a good buy this week. Think long and hard
    before you buy, though. And maybe there’s something else about this week which
    is worthy of consideration. Perhaps you can imitate the actions of that stealth
    bass boat on your lake of life. You use the little electric trolling motor,
    and you can move with silent precision through the various overhanging willow
    branches and cypress along the shore. Maybe there are some cypress trees,
    too. If you move quiet enough, the early season Egrets don’t mind. Maybe there’s
    a Great Blue Heron as well. That’s the secret this week, to move as stealthily
    as possible. So imagine yourself in stealth machine, one that moves quietly
    and just glides up to where you want to be. You’re going to do all right,
    it’s just a matter of not attracting too
    attention this week.

    Taurus: I’ve got this Scottish buddy, and he’s a bit of a strange
    bird. He loves Texas, Texans, and so forth. I had an embarrassing moment one
    evening when I realized this guy was enjoying the country and western band
    more than I was. In fact, the Scottish lad knew more of the lyrics than I
    did. To exacerbate the situation, he was slamming down Lone Star Beer, grinning
    like a madman. Then he lets loose with a slightly slurred Scottish brogue,
    “I love this stuff…. It’s GREAT.” He rolls his Rs, too, which is not exactly
    characteristic of a Texas drawl. Guess what you’ve got coming at you this
    week? With the movement of the planets, you’re going to experience a slight
    dissociation. It’s like listening to my Scottish fiend while sitting in a
    real Texas honkytonk. Something’s not right. It’s not wrong, but it’s not
    right, either. If you learn to enjoy the apparent juxtaposition of everything,
    it is an amusing scenario. Embrace the weird stuff this week, a little
    shock to the system is good.

    Gemini: Through years of astrological research, and most of my lifetime
    observing my sister, I’ve managed to determine that the favorite communication
    device for a Gemini is a telephone. I realize that this isn’t news to a Gemini,
    but it is important this week. I was listening to an old tape of the “Texas
    Tornadoes” and there are a lot of the songs which are sung in Spanish. It’s
    a beautiful, lyrical language, and with its Roman antecedents, it’s wonderful
    for musical accompaniment. Living in Texas, I have to be fairly conversant
    in Spanish because it’s the unofficial language of East Austin, one of my
    favorite environments. This week, though, you’re going to feel like you’re
    talking on the phone and the person on the other end is jabbering in Spanish.
    Now, we can all converse in this lovely language for a little while, but I
    can’t keep up when the speed of delivery is accelerated. So right now, there
    you are, stuck on the phone while someone is yelling at you in language you
    just don’t understand. Work with it. You’re a Gemini, you can adapt.

    Cancer: You ever get that feeling that you should be someplace else
    but you can’t seem to figure out where that place is? It’s a quizzical look
    on your face, that feeling that you get, that look in your eyes which is comical
    to others, it’s that expression when you slam the door to your truck, and
    then you glance at the ignition — where the keys are still hanging. You
    might not really lock yourself out of your car this week, but this whole lunar
    and solar phase is going to put you in a position where you feel like you’ve
    done something “not very smart” like that. Now, if you know what you’re doing,
    it’s possible to get back in the car. I’ve got one friend who keeps a spare
    door key zip–tied to the frame. The problem with this week, is that he
    is likely to have on a suit when he locks that set of keys in his truck. A
    little bit of thoughtful preparation
    this week is going to go a long way in making everything work better.

    Leo: You know, it’s only by a degree that you have something to worry
    about. And it’s only by degree that there is something that will wind up bothering
    you this week. If there is anything else in your chart besides magnificent
    Leo, you might want to consult that sign. I’m not naming names, but Virgo
    certainly comes to mind as a hint of a reminder. This eclipse thing really
    does hit at the very earliest of Leo degrees so it’s not a real pain, not
    in that sense of the word. Conventional astrological lore suggests that there
    is a lingering effect to an eclipse. I would suggest that this week is going
    to turn your world on about a 90 degree rotation. It’s not bad, just different.
    So get used to some untimely
    upsets that seem to come at the worst possible moment. The more flexible you
    are right now, the better off you are.

    Virgo: I want you to be still and listen to that inner voice. Amid the day to day turmoil, the
    day to day exercise in self restraint, the day to day troubles that are too
    countless for most people to endure, I want you to listen to that small voice
    in the back of your head. “Party! Party! P – A – R – T – Y!!” it’s saying.
    Don’t go with that chant this week. Party is trouble for you. I know you want
    to be entertained, and how I wish I could take care of you this week. Yes,
    you have bigger fish to fry. And speaking of fish, I know you want to be involved
    in a leisure time sport with serious rewards, but I can’t advocate that you
    take this week off. Nope, there is just too much work that needs to get done,
    and, regrettably, no one is better equipped to handle this monstrous load
    of work than yourself. Plan to party, later. I’ll promise that you get some
    rest as soon as the planets settle down a little.

    Libra: There is a big change brewing this week. Nothing that’s going to rock your world too much, but if you live
    in a boat, it might rock your boat some. The stable foundation you have built
    is solid. That’s the good news. The very bedrock of your existence is fine.
    It’s just the numerous details that are going to be a little upsetting. Here,
    in Texas, we get these freak weather systems that blow through. The temperature
    drops by 20 degrees or more. The wind comes whipping over the North Pole,
    slides on down through Canada and picks up a real chill. Then this cold import
    air blows on into Texas. Your week is like that. One minute it’s sunny and
    you’re thinking it’s good weather for shorts, and the next minute, you’re
    wondering why you ever took the heavy blankets off the bed. It’s not going
    to rock your world, but it will upset the established order of your life this
    week. Make sure you prepare for all contingencies this week because some piece
    of mission critical fishing tackle is bound to be lost. Make a back up plan.

    Scorpio: There’s some detritus which is remaining in your life, old
    business you thought was long gone, and it’s back. It’s back like a bad
    penny. It’s back like a former significant other who keeps popping up
    at the worst possible time. It’s like my first wife who shows up to remind
    me about something I thought was gone years ago. Decades ago. You get the
    idea? I hope so. It might not be your least favorite ex-wife showing up, but
    you’ve got a visit like that coming along this week. It’s not all doom and
    gloom, however, because there is supposed to be a degree of resolution which
    you gain from this. It’s just a matter of understanding why this person or
    thing is back in your life. Hey, maybe she’ll say she’s sorry? [Right. Dream

    Sagittarius: I want to say nice things this week, but there is a certain
    very un–Sagittarius quality that you have been exhibiting lately. It’s
    not nice, and it is creating trouble
    in your life. There are certain ideals, concepts and even possessions that
    you have been holding onto, and these are gradually being pried from your
    grasp. We can make this easy, but this untypical quality that you have been
    demonstrating is a form of tenacious gripping. You are going to find that
    you have one of these ideas stuck in your head, and you’re not willing to
    turn it loose. At the risk of pandering to the masses, “Let it go.” Of course,
    if you’re like me, this is a great concept but sometimes, in the real world,
    it’s a little easier to talk about instead of actually doing it. “Del dicho,
    al hecho – hay mucho trecho,” as one Sagittarius admonished me.

    Capricorn: Say goodbye to the Sun and Mercury this week as they gracefully
    exit Capricorn. No more birthdays to worry about, either, not by the end of
    the week. This means it’s time to kick your shoes off, and quit trying to
    be the life of the party. You’ve done your duty, taken care of business, now
    you have a little bit of time to rest, relax, and get after whatever unfinished
    business is left to tend to. While some astrology would suggest this is a
    good time to be at home and rest, I prefer the idea that you barricade yourself
    in the house, and since there is still a computer
    glitch or two happening, maybe drag out the manual typewriter to transcribe
    your data. Nothing beats having everything in hard copy this week.

    Aquarius: The idea of a cattle prod with its 50,000 volts of motivational
    energy is good this week, but I’m afraid that analogy is overused. You might
    say that the battery is dead on that idea. With the various meanderings of
    the planets, though, something like that is going to hit you. Since the battery
    is dead, what might happen is that you plug the cattle prod’s battery into
    the wall socket to get recharged. Just when you thought it was okay, though,
    there’s a little bit of a frayed cord, and you get a tingle running up and
    down your arm. That tingle is just like the overused cattle prod idea. You
    are going to get a shock to the system this week, and this can be good or
    it can seriously damage your nerve endings. Now that you’ve been warned, though,
    I’d guess that you are a little better prepared for this week. Try to stay
    grounded at all times. It’s a safety concern, that’s all.

    Pisces: It’s pretty easy to assess blame
    on a week like this, it’s the phase of the Moon. In all fairness, though,
    we also have to consider just what planets are operating within the Pisces
    sphere of influence right now, and with Mr. Mars trucking around in your sign,
    you are going to feel like one of that planet’s namesakes. You are going to
    be a little on the wild side this week. Oh, never mind the metaphor, you’re
    going to feel rather war-like. The advantage to being Pisces, of which there
    are many, but the real advantage this week is that you can feel some of the
    stuff going on. The moon and the sun do a little Full Moon Tango Eclipse action,
    and between that Lunar phase and the Mars action, you’re going to be thrust
    into action. “Some folks have greatness thrust upon them” like it says in
    12th Night. Know the reference?
    Drop me a note about the context and get a free [abbreviated] “el-cheapo”
    report delivered via e-mail.

    (c) Kramer Wetzel, 1999, 2000

About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at KramerWetzel.com.

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© 1993 – 2021 Kramer Wetzel, for astrofish.net &c.

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