2.28.2000

Taurus
: Ever feel like you’re getting messages
delivered via some sort of strange mental telepathy? Do you wonder if an alien
abducted you and placed a secret transmitter in your brain, perhaps at the base
of your skull, and you get these messages which seem to come from no where,
sort of like subconscious marketing hype which is embedded in just about everything
we touch these days? I would be a little careful with the content of the messages,
myself. In your fine Taurus mind, turn over what the message is. Try to ascertain
just what it is that you are supposed to be doing. One of the biggest problems
with such alien transmissions this week is your uncanny ability to misinterpret
what the real meaning of the message is. Hearing voices isn’t always bad, but
doing whatever the voices suggest might not be in your best interest right about
now.

Gemini
: There’s a bizarre dynamic
at work in your head right now. It’s going to feel like you are going a little
nuts this week. Where I live, this is perfectly okay, in fact, I understand
this aberrant behavior just fine. Texas is full of strange people, and even
people in Texas assume that us folks in Austin are a little bit weirder than
the rest. Your behavior is all due to Mercury, and its little tailspin right
now. There are some other contributing factors, but it’s easy to see that no
one can quite keep up with your racing Gemini mind right now. So what are you
going to do about it? I wouldn’t worry. In fact, I would get out the crayons
and the Big Chief pad of paper, the kind that still has toothpick sized chunks
of pulp in it, and I would make notes. The purpose of the crayons is color code
all the notes you’re going to be taking. Yes, there’s a myriad of shooting stars
in your head this week, just try to color code all the data which no one else
seems to understand. Only a good Gemini will be able to correlate all the data,
and you are a good
one.

Cancer
: Conventional
wisdom dictates that you ain’t going to have as good week. But just how conventional
are you? And rather than deal with some strange, arcane metaphors which draw
on Shakespeare’s canon of work, trailer parks, and the odd bit of Texas history,
I would just let you know that this is a good week to take a few days off. The
office will survive. In my case, the office looks a lot like a garage right
now, and there’s a motor half assembled back there. You’re going to feel like
you should be working on your motor this week, only, the problem isn’t mechanical,
it’s an electrical short. Since I never did like fooling around with wires,
I’ll assume you don’t either. Perhaps the best thing right now is to take a
cup of coffee out to the garage and look at the problem. I don’t know that you
can fix anything, but it looks you’re doing conventional work — but you
and I know it’s happening in an unconventional setting.

Leo
: Ever "rise
to take the bait" as the expression goes? This is one of those weeks
when you’re willing to jump on some challenges which are coming your way. Now,
with the current disposition of some of the planets, I’m not pointing any fingers
but Mercury is still retrograde, you need to think a little longer before you
accept that challenge. Shakespeare’s Richard the Third would have a done a lot
better if he had just backed off instead of jumping into a certain battle. You’re
kind of like Richard, the character in the play, because you’re willing to tackle
the problem. But it is a time when I urge you to consider your actions before
you jump. Like I’ve said, this is a good time to finish up some old business
rather than jumping off and engaging in a new fight.

Virgo
: Doom, gloom and general unease abounds
this week in the usually "perfect world of Virgo." It’s a less than
perfect world for many of you this week. Perhaps not all, but a lot of you are
going to be feeling that Mercury thing in full force. It’s a strange time. There’s
a useful Martian influence which bodes well for relationships, but have you
ever tried talking to one of your targets, and have them look at you like you’re
speaking French? It ain’t bad speaking French, but in the parts of Texas —
south of Amarillo or Pampa — Spanish is better language to understand.
It’s a lot more native. In some environments in Texas, English should be the
second language. But now we’re back to you and your French talk. It just doesn’t
fly. While you’re extra pretty (or handsome, as the case is) right now, you
just keep getting those frustrating messages from someone who is interested,
but the communication barrier seems impenetrable — all week long.

Libra
: There seems to be nothing more upsetting to Libra than a major disagreement.
And I’m not predicting that you are going to have as major disagreement this
week, but I will warn you that there’s a higher than normal probability that
you run into a situation where you get your dander up. It doesn’t look like
this is a good fight either. You’re going to be tempted to "fight dirty"
which is okay sometimes, but other times, like this week, this isn’t a good
idea. I’m reminded of the time a Bass Fisherman wandered away from the lakes
in Texas and tried his hand at the delicate art of fly fishing in Colorado.
There’s a finesse which is required in both sports, but it is a different kind
of fishing. The only thing that was left of his first half dozen trout was a
jaw. He was used to setting the hook on an aggressive monster sport fish, and
those poor trout require less energy to set a hook properly. Careful with setting
hooks this week, or you’ll wind up with a stringer full of nothing but fish
teeth.

Scorpio
: This whole Mercury Retrograde thing has you wondering a little because it
doesn’t hit you right now. That’s the good news. You just don’t feel the old
problems cropping up. What you do have occurring, though, is a visit from the
past. Someone you completely forgot about, someone who is back to say, "Howdy!
Remember me?" My experience with Scorpio’s indicates that you guys
really, really don’t like surprises. So you won’t get one this week. But you
do have this former flame (?), former business partner (?) or ex – roommate
(?) show up. I would hope that they just call as opposed to showing up on the
stoop, knocking on the door. Remember that you don’t like surprises, so start
peeking out the front window and anticipate this new old arrival.

Sagittarius
: Ya’ll are nothing but a pain, at the first of the week. And since my mail
always has a double boatload
on Monday mornings, yes, I am complaining. It does hit all of us. There is a
some good news, though, because this is a flash in the pan, as the old cliché
goes. It doesn’t last long. And it’s like that Monday morning mailbag, all you
have to do is sit down and start cranking out answers. Be prepared to elucidate
on some of the more arcane points of Elizabethan philosophy right now. Get prepared
to hammer out tips on bait this week. I know that this is really old ground
that we’re covering, but it’s going to get better and better as the week gets
older. The drive and determination come back, and it’s going to get easier to
deal with the monumental
load of work that gets dumped on you at the first of the week.

Capricorn
: You’ve got a number of astrological influences in your weekly chart which
look good.
There’s just one disparate influence which isn’t so good. While your overall
picture for the week is wonderful, there is a single problem that you keep forgetting
about. I’m reminded of the time when I lent my truck to a girlfriend so she
could move some furniture. My back was bad that day, so I couldn’t help with
the lifting and opted out. I got the truck back in fine shape, but both gas
tanks were dry. Empty. Running on fumes. I had to rev it up so I coast to the
gas station in order to fill it up. You have a week like that. You help someone
out, but then they forget to put gas back in the tank. Now, with the odd things
going on in your chart, I would suggest that you can coast up to the next gas
pump. But this is another one of these things that a little preparedness will
help prevent.

Aquarius
: Ever try to date two girls
at one time? Not that I’m speaking from any kind of personal experience myself,
but if you’re honest about it, the fur flies, and if you lie about it, the fur
flies when [inevitably] you get caught in your web of lies. Either way, from
my very limited experience, it just doesn’t work. Not for me, anyway. And it
looks like you’ve got similar situation going on. This is not the week to try
and make a decision, either. While everyone else is under the weather with Mercury
thing, you need to be looking towards new horizons. But I don’t know that you
need to be trying my routine of dating more than one person at a time right
now. I understand that you got to decide on just one, but maybe you can put
that decision
off for a week or two. Let that fur settle.