Week of 2.14.2000

Mine eyes
Were not in fault, for she was beautiful;
Mine ears, that heard her flattery.
Cymberline, Act V, scene v.

Funny things are going on with the heavens, and the relative changes of Venus insure that this is indeed, going to be a weird week.

Aries : I'm going to fly in the face of conventional wisdom right now, it all has to do with a certain Martian influence in your life. Mr. Mars is often associated with several deleterious effects in on your life as he moves through your sign. Traditional astrology regards this as a bad thing. Traditional astrology is lot like FGS naysayers, too, and I would urge something else with all this activity seemingly emanating from the gentle red orb over yonder in the sky. This week is like one of the ads on TV, you know the kind, where the demonstrator purposefully spills something, and then the miracle cleaning device whooshes up the mess in record time? That's the sort of energy kicking about in your space at this point. For some strange reason -- I would call it Jupiter -- this mess is more fun to clean up, and there's even a little surprise in it for you. I'm definitely not promising you a precious gemstone, but a little bit of Cubic Zirconium is a nice find, anyway. Makes an inexpensive engagement ring, too.

Taurus : This week marks the beginning of the Jupiter cycle in your life. Again. It's like a blast from the past, and I would turn your calendar back to 1999, take a hard look at the summer of 1999 for clues about some of the upcoming events you've got to look forward to. I remember a particular bass tournament, last summer, and that was "shed water" event for you. It was brilliant stroke of luck for you, and that kind of luck is back right now. That's when you really did envision turning pro. That's back, and if you play your cards right this week, you, too, could turn professional. Think about it: some big name company paying all your bills, you get to stay in the finest motels, and then there's always the beer girls....

Gemini : The week starts out with a large "boom" as it seems like events are just literally exploding around you. Regrettably, this is sometimes like you opponent who might be using dynamite for bait. The trick right now is to walk that thin line between reaping something from that explosive nature AND not getting caught. The problem with getting caught red-handed just becomes a more prominent theme as the week gets longer. So all that wonderful energy that begins the week needs to be tempered with good Gemini reason before taking actions which some might be deem a little too hasty. This concept progresses like this as the week gets longer. Don't confuse Redfish and red-handed. Or red herring.

Cancer : Work has been an all-consuming flame in your life for the past few weeks, and now is the time to take a break. If you ain't careful, you're going to find that you blow the hose on the radiator in your truck as you get ready to head off to work. I understand this sort of event is rather unsettling but it's a less than subtle message to take a brief break. It's a Hallmark holiday this week, and no other sign better resembles one of the lines on those little cards better than a good Cancer, like yourself. So get out the quill and inkwell, and pen a note of amorous intentions right now. The truck's hose will wait, and as much as you figure you have pile of headaches at work this week, figure some way to ignore it all for now. Transportation problems are usually an effective excuse.

Leo : In order to cause a decent little change in your line up for the week, I suggest getting your hands on some music which is something that you don't normally listen to. If you're like many Texans, Country and Western is a common theme, and something with a little bit wilder beat to it is better this week. If you are die hard rocker, then try something a little more folksy. All I'm urging is that you take the planet's influence right now, and go for a little change. It doesn't have to be a drastic change, but something substantially different this week works well. A different attitude, a different brand of music, perhaps a different brand of clothing, just try for some kind of change. I should make note about the relative movement of the planets and with Venus sliding into the sign opposite you, a change is brewing in the heavens. Should be a good one, though. Promise. You can always check the web journal for musical suggestions.

Virgo : There's a growing sense of excitement right now. I know that you know the big day is supposed to be Monday, but wait, there's more surprises coming along. It's a subtle heavenly shift and it brings some of your energies more alignment with the week's energy. In other words, and to eschew new age talk, you're going to be feeling better as the week gets longer. That's "better," not "bitter." There is a little lump in this week, though, and it's like that lump I get in my throat when I'm talking to an attractive member of the opposite sex. You're going to find that you should be doing a Mardi Gras number when this hits. Do something to loosen up you tongue, and I promise the weekend looks good.

Libra : "Yes, well there you have it." That's the way this week is going to feel. It's got a few little let downs in the midst of what is supposed to be a good time. After working with Romance for so much of my life, I still don't have an effective way to let you know that there seems to be little ripples of discontent on your lake of love. In fact, that body of water which represents you love life right now might feel more like a pond or a stock tank rather than a lake of love. What was once an ocean, seems to have dried up a lot, as of late. Before you get too upset with my Valentine's Day thing consider that it's Mars moving into a strong opposition and consider that Mars cuts like a hot knife through the warm butter of your heart to reveal what is really there. Sometimes this is a wonderful experience, as we find that butter melting on some pancakes. Other times, it just hurts, but by now you know about it.

Scorpio : Seems like romance is having a bit of a tough time right now. I'm reminded about a note I once received about an ill-fated Valentines. The quote was something like, "Women, can't live with them, pass the video games." This week might feel something just like that, only, it's not women, but your significant other who is not making a lot of sense right now. I realize that a computer game is not always the best way to deal with a situation, but it is a chance for a little break. Besides, a good game of something sharpens your razor like Scorpio intellect. I'm not suggesting that you need to sharpen it any more, but if you approach this whole Valentine week like that, I think you'll enjoy it ever so much more. Play your cards right, and you won't be playing solitaire.

Sagittarius : No jokes this week about bulk mail Valentine cards -- that was last week in Scorpio. In fact, this week, it ought to be just the opposite. You should be concentrating on just one Valentine target. The problem with being a Sagittarius, is that you're sure that you have the one target lined up and it keeps slipping out of your sights. I might suggest that you've been targeting the wrong person this whole time, but when I even think about suggesting it, I get an image of a mail box stuffed with all kinds of letters telling me how wrong I am. In matters of the heart, though, logic plays no part. I do think that you've got one person you should to attend to right now, and you want to make sure that you're just not over looking someone who really does care. Don't be a typical Sag this week and ignore the obvious.

Capricorn : We're going to have a little business lesson this week. You have a Valentine you have been pursuing, it's like a courtship, only different. Now what you really need to do before you add this Valentine to your portfolio is research this acquisition some. Have you looked over the last set of yearly books on this person? Have you totaled up what your intended acquisition's profit and loss statement looks like? Have you considered your Valentine's audited financial statement? Have you considered what kind of a long term investment will be required here? Or are you just considering this for a short term gain? And will this person's personal market share work for you? These are tough questions, and I know that you know that you should have considered them earlier, but this is something which needs to be brought up at time like this. In fact, with the way this week looks in Capricorn terms, you need to make a final assessment before making any fiduciary decisions about this romance.

Aquarius : You know that you're going to feel like there is some kind of a cosmic joke going on here, something strange is afoot, some where, some place, some how, the universe, a deity, something is laughing about your timing this week. Venus moves into Aquarius, that's the good news, but she doesn't arrive until after the fateful day. So you're going to be at loose ends until the middle of the week, and then, all of a sudden like, all of the emotional stuff which is associated with associated with the Day of Hearts finally kicks into high gear. The timing may feel all wrong because it doesn't go according to the weekly Valentine's Schedule, but it does wrap up rather well by the end of the week. Heard it here first, about the timing and all. It does work out, but best you be a little more careful on that one big day -- don't get your hopes up just yet.

Pisces : I like Mercury. It's a Mercurial planet, too, a little fickle, and little like that one friend you've got who just enters talking, and never seems to shut up. The problem with this week is that you are that person, due to the Mercury influence in your life. I always try and urge a little bit of self-restraint right now. No need to go and tell your current significant other about the last one you had. Never mind he or she was psycho deadbeat with no redeeming qualities, either. There is no reason whatsoever to talk about that sort of thing right now. It just begets trouble. In fact, if you don't impose a little bit of restraint on the verbal and communication skills this week, we both will wind up in trouble. No one needs to know about that little tryst, years ago. No one. Got that? I'd just leave it all alone. Mercury is having fun with you, so enjoy the mental clarity and tone down on communicating this alert state with anyone else.

About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person.

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