“I am no orator, as Brutus is;
But, as you know me all, a plain blunt man.”
Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar, Act III, scene ii.
Aries : It’s the beginning of the Aries Birthday time, starting this week. Spring Equinox, the beginning of the astrological new year, the start of great things. The inception point for this whole new stuff thing. It’s a great idea, and it looks really good on paper. But in Texas, even though it’s supposedly “spring” time, it’s beginning to look a little like summer according to some definitions, and that idea applies to you as well. Things are heating for Aries. Now, Mars is leaving this week, which should help improve your focus. You’re not going to be quite as scattered as you have been. You’re also going to feel a little tired at times, like there’s just a little too much excitement going on right now. Reminds me of weekend when I was supposed to be “off.” It started on Saturday morning, and the pressure never let up, folks coming and going, my front door should have been a a revolving door, and I wore out a pair of boots just trying to keep up. It’s going to be like that for you this week. Relax? It’s a great idea. Won’t happen, though.
Taurus : Slowly, surely, steadily, Mars makes an entrance in the Tropical Zodiac Sign of Taurus this week. Seemingly good, too. But appearances can be deceiving, and a little extra caution is urged this week. In fact, I should have some sort of Mars Refrain worked out by now. He’s an active planet, and he’s going to push you to excel this week. He’s also going to start trying to finger your buttons. The buttons I’m referring to are the emotional ones. He’s going to reach for every last little button that he sees, and he’s going to try to fire off whatever he can. Better get used to this Martian energy, because it’s a common theme for a little while. Sooner or later, you’re going to feel like he’s right there. All I can suggest is to move like Mars does, with a degree of stealth this week.
Gemini : There are some days when “instant gratification” just takes too long. You’ve got a week which is filling up just like that. Now, the good news is that there is a group of some of your co-workers, associates and friends who are willing to get together and go play. This is an important concept right now. But the problem with an important concept like “play” is that it just doesn’t happen fast enough for your tastes. And when you’re dealing with a group of folks, not all of them are going to be Gemini, and the ones who ain’t Gemini just don’t get your need for speed. “There’s an efficiency quotient in this, you know.” Right, that means that you are moving at a typical Gemini rate, and the rest of the crowd is meandering along, and according to your definition, wandering around aimlessly. It’s irritating, to say the least. Be patient with the rest of us this week. You’ll get some of that instant gratification yet, but it won’t be happening quite as fast as you like.
Cancer : I like working with a chart like you’ve got this week. It’s really a simple message. It involves one of your least favorite activities, unless you’re involved a job that you really like. It’s all about work this week. There is nothing else that is really peeking through the your own, personal heavens. I know that at least one dear Cancer Reader will write in and complain about this, but I’m just trying to stick the astrological basics as I understand them, and work is that central issue — this week. We’ll be happy to discuss other options in another week, but this week, you need to plan on spending as much time as possible in your boat if your a fishing guide. The little problem right now, if you are a fishing guide, is that the usual places where you find work, that would be fishes, are going to have less than the usual yield. But concentration on this work related theme this week has some serious long term benefit. That’s the point.
Leo : Good times are right ahead. Good times and stupid people. Ever notice, no matter where you go, the most moronic of drivers seem to follow you there? I moved from North East Texas to Central Texas, and those drivers all seemed to follow me. I was visiting El Paso, and the drivers out there, obviously, weren’t from there. I could tell by the number of drivers who didn’t know how to drive. So you’re going to get followed around by a lot of people this week who seem to be a little on the ignorant side. That’s the polite way to put it. Of course, I’ve never been politically correct myself, I don’t know why I should start now, but you’re getting the idea… yes, they are following you. So you’re feeling pretty good this week, and there are number of confrontations which present themselves to you. Instead of yelling at the person, instead of that one finger salute, try something a little different. Say a prayer. Pray for them. Pray that they find some brains and common sense soon. It’s the best thing you can do, and you don’t want to ruin your good attitude.
Virgo : Things are getting better and better, moment by moment. Okay, for the Virgo who must have this measured correctly, it’s getting better inch by friggin’ inch. Got that? I was tempted to use the more pejorative term, “inch by bloody inch” but my attempts at an English accent get more and more tortured by every trip I take out west — West Texas — where the drawl is more pronounced. But you’re getting the idea. Just like my accent gradually degrades into that lyric, southern, west Texas twang, your week gets better and better. Of course, these are incremental changes for the better so it’s not like you’re going to feel like that there are giant strides forward, and it’s not like you’re going to feel like it’s necessarily a good time, but if you reflect back, look back over the last couple of days, you’ll find that yes, indeed, my most excellent Virgo friend, it has been a good week. Changes, for the better, courtesy of Mars, are happening. Slowly, to be sure, but it’s one of those things that takes time.
Libra : There’s a not so subtle shift in the planets this week. It’s a harbinger of things to come in your little slice of the sky. There’s a certain degree of ease at work which comes now. Maybe not not easiest, but the problems are quickly dealt with, and you can turn a stack of work into a series of slices for everyone else to deal with. In fact the works disappears as fast as a free pizza does around here at the office. No sooner does the delivery person show up, then there’s a swarm of activity, like flies buzzing over a stinking road kill carcass, and then “poof” it’s all gone. Maybe Rosalind said it best: “Alack! in me what strange effect/Would they work in mild aspect” As You Like It (IV.ii.74-5). So divvy up your work like free pizza this week, and watch it disappear. Alack, that’s the strange effect.
Scorpio : I can’t seem to escape that Austin Sound for Scorpio, not this week. We’re famous for music. There’s a lot of it here. It’s that special, sort of country, sort of rock, sort of blues, sort of tangy, sort of bittersweet, folk, acid, retro, post punk, alt country inspired stuff. So imagine that this week is like a song from an Austin Author, something about Lonesome Highway Blues, but add a fiddle and some decent electric guitar stuff, and then maybe you get some ideas. It’s not all that bad, but you are going to be spending more than your share of the week spinning along your own, personal “lonesome highway.” This isn’t all bad. A lot of Scorpio’s like to spend more than an inordinate amount of time solo. It seems to fit with their own personal definition of who they are. But when you start feeling like you’ve been alone just about long enough, you need to head on down that lonesome Scorpio highway. Don’t worry about it. Let me know if you discover any genres of music that I’ve left out of your definition of music, too.
Sagittarius : Have you ever been at the gym, reading a Wall Street Journal while walking on the treadmill? Or you’ve been on the Hike and Bike path, and there’s some one beside you with a portable electronic device and ear bud speakers, but the music is cranked so loud, you can feel the bass? It’s like one of my friend’s car, he’s got the trickest bass boomer in the trunk. Sort of hurts if he ever gets a flat because there wasn’t any room for the spare tire, but you get the idea. This week is like that intrusion in your privacy. Now, you can do what any rational, straight shooting — forward thinking Sagittarius would do in this situation, you can rip that head phone off the guy’s head, yank the ear buds out of her ears, swerve and force the offending car off the road. But these aren’t good solutions. The easiest way to deal with intrusions in your space this week is to drop back. Don’t accelerate because the other guy will think it’s a race. It’s not a good week to be competitive. Just let them pass, and your glorious silence will return.
Capricorn : There is a certain ease and grace that is often associated with your sign, the sign of the Sea Goat. Okay, maybe some astrologers don’t see this ease and grace that I’m talking about, but it’s certainly there. And this is going to become more pronounced as the week flows by. Imagine nice, lyric poetry, and I’m not talking about something that comes violently out of a poetry “slam” either. This light and lyrical stuff is more like what you should aim for his week. Take your special message this week, and wrap it in flower strewn words, something that sounds just as nice as Pecan Pie. Maybe as sweet as Peach Cobbler with a big old double scoop of vanilla Ice Cream on top of it. You’re going to be serving up some harsh information this week, but I’ll trust you to put it in terms that seem equitable, sort of like “a la mode,” which is the best way to serve this week. Personally, I really like it covered in Vanilla Bean Ice Cream, or like some of Amy’s Mexican Vanilla.
Aquarius : Every once in a while, we have to have a little talk about your propensity for escape behavior. There are little astrological triggers that come along and set this sort of thing off. Escape behavior can be blatantly obvious, something like a case or two of beer and a fishing boat. Being an Aquarius, though, you can get mighty sneaky about how you hide what you do for escape. I’m reminded of one Aquarius, under just such an influence, he managed to convince most of his neighbors that he was retiring from his office job, and he claimed to be a fishing guide therefore, all the time he spent fishing was work he was supposedly getting paid for. The message is clear, though, you’ve done the work, but you might not be getting paid for your efforts. Be careful about living in a fantasy world right now — live that to an expert like myself.
Pisces : According to some famous astrologers, every time a celestial object swaps signs, that means something big is happening, like a major shift in energy, and, as a Pisces, I’m sure you’re aware of these changes in energy. “Sure. Can’t miss it. Right on, buddy,” you mutter to me. The sun leaves Pisces, and Mars leave Aries, and, for what it’s worth, Mercury and Venus are firmly ensconced in Pisces. Sounds like a lot going on, and it is. In plain terms, Pisces are all stirred up by any number of minor things going on right now. The tricky part to remember that you are being tickled by any number of minor things. These ain’t big things. Might be more like ticked off rather than tickled, too. But if you can overlook the minor and persistent irritations, you’ll notice that the overall picture is big and bright right now. The hardest party of this week is putting yourself in a place where you can see how nice this time really is.
