Week of: 5/8-14

“O, I do not like that paying back. ‘Tis a double labor.”
Falstaff in Shakespeare’s King Henry IV, Part the First, III.iii.179

The universe is doing a little bit of borrowing and spending right now, and since Falstaff was always the consummate sensualist, then he’s the right one to invoke this week. Mars is stirring up a mess of trouble in Gemini while the major inner guys are all stuck in Taurus. It’s like a week when the bad bill collector comes a-callin’. And Neptune turns retrograde over yonder in Aquarius.

Aries : The previous week, in one form or another, left you feeling a tongue tied. Being twisted up inside and unable to accurately and effectively communicate just exactly what is going on leaves you a little frustrated. There seems to be a lot of planets which are pushing and pulling on you, and you’re just not sure where to start. But with Mars getting nice warm over yonder in Gemini, you’re going to find that something has “loosed you tongue” as the expression goes. And the behavior which is most often associated with this is that your friends, family, and buddies at work are not always willing to listen to this great torrent of words pouring forth. While I might tend to wax a little eloquent, you’re going to find that even your most beatific erudition is lost on some of the less enlightened souls you encounter this week. Warm up the quill and wax eloquent in written form, then practice giving this some new delivery. It’s the way you approach your stage that’s going to help warm your audience this week.

Taurus : The madness is supposed to be subsiding now. The pressure is supposed to be off. The outside forces which have exerted an untoward influence in your meager Taurus life is supposed to be getting a lot better. Would that it were so! And would that I could make it so. You’re still sitting on a gold mine, and the cosmic forces, or whatever belief system you have in place, is delivering the goods. The trick is, and this is the important part, is making sure that you place yourself in the right place, at the right time, and you want to make sure that you’re not “out” when “it” arrives. For the longest time, I had a kindly neighbor who always be there, at the next trailer over, to accept UPS and FedEX packages when I was away. In fact, this neighbor would safeguard this packages for me. And to make this even better, one time when he forget to leave me a message, and I checked with the carrier, his signature was clear enough to read. That’s being thoughtful. But you’re going to have a week where you’re going to keep hopping from spot to spot, and if you would only remain in one place long enough… “it” might catch up with you.

Gemini : By the end of the week (because every Gemini always looks towards the future), Mercury will be creeping into your sign. And Mercury was once voted as the planet to be represent your sign, the planet which is named for the fleet footed winged messenger of the gods, the child of Zeus. That means we’ve got some good news right around the corner. It’s happening now. Even as you’re reading this, there is a gradual, beneficial event taking place in your life. It’s about time, too. You’ve got some dark thoughts which have been troubling you as of late, and rather than keeping this all to yourself, you’re beginning to discover that you can turn some of these troubling thoughts into a script for a screenplay. So this week, you’re going to want to write a synopsis of this screenplay, beginning, middle and end, then you’ll start to show it around. With Mercury not getting here until the weekend, though, you might want to hold onto this plot. some of the details are going to be changing soon.

Cancer : In many of the old, classical literature stories, there are lengthy definitions and descriptions about the food be served at the banquet. How it was served, what was served, how the serving people were dressed, and so forth. Mars is kicking around in your 12th house, and as such, Mars is making dreams of past lives (if you believe the New Age stuff) come popping into your subconscious mind right now. That, and the moon herself is also making some rather exciting moves as far as you are concerned. This is also good, sort of. You’re going to feel like you’re watching just such a feast day go on. you’re going to feel like you’re almost a part of the revelries. You’re going to feel “almost.” It’s a close call because the relative position of lots of stuff in Taurus is good, and the Moon slices you in a decent way this week. But the Mars position feels a little bit like it’s all a dream. Now, you can dive right on into the dream, and that’s sometimes the best course of action.

Leo : Ever feel like you’re just not sure if you’re going in the right direction? It’s like looking for that one spot to fish on, that one spot on the lake where the dappled shade makes it feel like it’s just a little bit cooler, and the stash of empty beer cans suggests that someone else has fished here before? Just as soon as you get settled in, you notice some kid is up on the bridge, and he’s suddenly pulling a decent sized catch while, even though you are enjoying the shade, you get that feeling which suggests that the spot you in has already been all fished out. Think about it be fore you hastily pick u your fishing pole and saunter off towards the bridge to fish over there. Think about it, my fine Leo friend, because there is an influence which suggests that “over there” is not necessarily a superior position to “where you’re at right now.” Blame it on the Moon or, maybe Mars, but I would suggest a little less restless activity this week will help you land what it is that your looking for. And the shade along the bank is better location for you.

Virgo : I’ve watched Virgo’s for many years. In one system o astrology, according to one fan, I am a Virgo. Of course, if this is true, I tend to use my Virgo analysis and disparage that claim. For many years, things have just been plan old tough for the Virgo group. And this week, there are numerous good influences bring some well-deserved rewards to Virgo land. There’s also one little problem, and it has to do with a creepy Mars. AS that one planet slides into Gemini, it brings a good deal of relief to some much beleaguered fixed sign. Regrettably, you’re not on the the signs who feels this relief. And as long as Mars is gallivanting through Gemini, it’s going to cause a minor degree of frustration. The weight of some recent decisions are hanging in the balance this week, and you’ve got to use your brain to figure out what is the best course of action. With the way the other planets stack up, though, this is a good time for this type of decision making process.

Libra : There’s as special sense that this big alignment of planets has created in the Libra world. Suddenly, there are more important things under the sun than just the middle ground that you’ve been dealing. Larger issues have been looming on your horizon for a while now, and you have to do something to put a lot of this in perspective. There are questions about your place in the world, questions about how all of this puzzle of life fits together, and the good news is that this week, there’s a missing piece which you have been seriously searching for, and you find it. In this jigsaw puzzle of life, all you had to do was look in the right place. It’s like the puzzle sitting on the coffee table in the trailer’s living room: there is still a piece missing, but you know it’s going to turn up someplace. And if you keep looking, this is a week when just such a missing piece will turn up. Of course, I’m of the opinion that the cat made off with the puzzle piece, but that’s just me. She hasn’t confessed to anything yet.

Scorpio : The incredible odds that you’ve been facing are finally inching in your direction. It reminds me of part of a scene from Shakespeare’s Antony and Cleopatra, “Am I not an inch of fortune better than she?” (Iras talking to the soothsayer, I.ii.98). And this week, with a minor but relatively good movement, the planets inch in your direction. There is always one Scorpio who will take great umbrage at what I say, but over all, this is a week when the highwater mark has been reached, the tide turns, and the receding waves leave a vast expanse of smooth sand on which you can start afresh. That means, like the surf gradually receding, the swells have left an open stretch of beach on which you can work. Personally, I think a little surf fishing might be in order. But that’s just me. The recent turmoil means it’s time to let this stuff fall back into place, and that smooth bit of beach, that wet sand, is a good place to carve your name and beginning new again.

Sagittarius : Relationships are still a major focal point for you. It’s like looking at one of those pictures where all the lines point to an imaginary point off the canvas. This is kicked into gear early this week by both the Moon and Mars, strictly speaking. And while Mars is in Gemini, where he’s going to be a for a spell, it’s time to get used to the idea that you’re going to encounter an obstacle or two along the way. Of course, you are a Sagittarius, and we are known for ability to leap tall buildings or similar obstacles, in a hurry. As the week slowly unfolds, it’s like an old road map. There are many destinations available, but you’ve got to select what seems best for you. And while you’re perusing this map for the week, you might want to check back with your own self, and make sure that you’re picking a destination for the right reason. Running away certainly looks good to me, but it’s not always the correct solution to a problem. Just because it works for me, doesn’t mean that it’s a good idea this week. So pick where you’re going this week with a degree of care.

Capricorn : It’s been a long haul for my suffering Capricorn friends, and this week is still an upward and onward week for you. That means it is a good time. The problems that we’re all facing just seem to slide right off your Capricorn back this week. In fact, there will be days this week when you’re in a big hurry to get certain tasks accomplished, and you move so fast that no one else can seem to keep u with you. You look back at the end of the day, dust yourself off, and think, “Wow, did I really get all that work done?” Sure you did. Thank the lucky star, thank Saturn (your ersatz ruler) and thank whatever deity heads up your belief system. Or just send me some money. Either one works, but I’m not a deity. There will always be one or two capricious Capricorn’s this week, and for those guys, I don’t have any words of wisdom, much beyond it really is getting better. This is a week to make sure that you have your priorities in order before you hit the ground running. It looks like you’re trying to juggle a cell phone on one ear and a land line on the other ear. It might help to try talking out of the side of your mouth in order to get everything accomplished.

Aquarius : You get a flying tackle from an old love flame interest this week. I don’t know a better way to describe this than to descend into some rather tired sports metaphors. It’s a blind side tackle. It’s a clear play that deserves a red flag. It’s also clearly going to be over looked by the referee. Doesn’t that just irritate you to no end? It irks me, even though it’s not me that’s getting hit from behind. It’s like the whole rule book was disposed of, and no one saw what happened. Sorry about that. I hate it when this sort of stuff happens, especially to a good sign like an Aquarius. The good news is that this bad play from the field of love is over with by the end of the week. I’m looking at a Venus and Neptune Square, along with several other tawdry astrological challenges this week, and yes, you do come out on top. The problem is that the officials just ignore your every plea for fair play. Be aware of that, and keep looking over your shoulder for that tackle.

Pisces : I lived in trailer out west, many years ago, and in the same trailer park, there was a Ham Radio operator. He had more stuff invested in the electronic goodies populating his trailer, more financial resources were sunk into his various antennas than he had wrapped up in the roof over his head. I’m pretty sure he could talk to any foreign country, and probably several planets as well. This is a week when you need to imitate the actions of this former neighbor. Get out the radio gear, hook up the antennas, get on the air, get with the program. Things have changed in some arenas, but the idea of getting out there with some sort of interstellar communication device which is based out of your home isn’t such a bad idea. The other thing to consider is is what is the message your sending out? In his case, I’m pretty sure, it as nothing more than a friendly, “Howdy! Howarechew?” sort of thing. You might have amazing luck with a similar expression this week, no matter what the local dialect is.

About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at KramerWetzel.com.

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