“What fool Honesty is! and Trust, his sworn brother, a very simple gentleman!”
Autolycus in Shakespeare’s Winter’s Tale (IV.iv.595)
Aries : There are certain tasks in life which have to be done in order to properly enjoy yourself. It’s like something as simple as sitting by the lake with a fishing pole. First, you have to gather up the fishing gear. Then, it would perhaps be best to pack a lunch. don’t forget you’re going to need a cooler full of a nice, refreshing beverage, too. Out by the lake, it can get mighty hot, and you want to make sure that you can extract as much pleasure from this outing as possible. What happens is it begins to feel like there is a significant amount of work that goes into pleasure. There’s some planning, some preparation which I really think you need to consider this week. you can’t just get out to that special place and expect everything to be perfect, no, it takes a little bit of work. The more effort you are willing to put into making this pleasurable experience, this week, the more fun it turns out to be. Making a list of the items you want to tote along is a good idea, perhaps a little light reading material, perhaps Solar/Lunar calendar, maybe a variety of bait. See what I mean? It takes thorough planning to enjoy yourself this week. Having read this though, I’m sure you’ll enjoy a good week (with proper preparations).
Taurus : It’s about time that you got a reward or two. It’s about time that you got recognized for hard work, intense labor, and a lot effort that you’ve put into a project. It’s about time that you finally got recognized for your efforts. Mars and Uranus do an uncomfortable send off to the week, and that sets a strange tone because I figure those two planets are basically incompatible. But this energy is a like a couple I know that quarrels constantly. It’s their form of love and affection. They like it. And in the same way, you’ve got some one who is bickering but that’s just the way this person decides to show that he or she secretly approves of the work that you’re doing. You’re getting recognized, it’s just not in the way you expected it. “Bad press is better than no press,” is one catch all phrase. But I prefer the way Oscar Wilde said it, “The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.” You get complimented this week, from on high, just don’t expect it to be a straightforward voice of approval.
Gemini : Fate is a curious old idea. There are some schools of thought which suppose it’s like a giant spider web, and Fate is the one who spins the web itself. Nothing is worse than being caught in Fate’s web, unaware. Now, when you get caught in this web this week, try something different. Don’t struggle. Don’t thrash about. When you’re stuck in this web, the spider finds you by your relative movement. It’s like sending up a flare, telling the spider of Fate where to find you. Then you get wrapped up in spider webbing and devoured. Not a pretty sight. So, when Fate sets out to ensnare you this week, don’t struggle with it. Panic, which is a wonderful reaction in certain situation, isn’t really the best idea this week. You’ve got choices, and you can easily extract yourself from the mess by not moving a muscle. Make some assessments and then plan your next movie (and try to do so without calling attention to yourself).
Cancer : where do you turn for inspiration? What tickles your muse? What drives you to new levels of excellence? It varies from individual to individual, but we all have certain conscious and subconscious games we play in order to get the juices flowing. Tricks which we use to get our mind in gear, ramped up and running. I’ve found that the proper amount of cigars and coffee, especially early in the morning, seems to be the most effective route for me. Not enough coffee? I’m down, and I can’t get away from the couch. Too much coffee? The mild soporific effect of a good cigar mellows out the moment, takes the edge off. While this sounds distasteful to a large number of the Crustacean set, it works for me. So it doesn’t matter what tickles your muse, you’re going to find that this is an excellent week to get that in gear. Something to lift you up, and then, something to tone it down, just a little bit. You’ve got a great thing going on with the Moon this week (“that’s Ms. Moon to you, buddy!”) Use her heavenly influence to your benefit. Don’t forget the cigars, though, just to help keep it all in check.
Leo : One of my friends has an old truck with a rather “threadbare” muffler on it. We were working on the truck, just the other day, and we had taken it upon ourselves to replace the plugs and point. It’s a really vintage truck which means it has one of those little electrical things in it, and when he tried to set the gap on the points he got quite a shock. 50,000 volts, right up the arm. A yell, a terse command to “disconnect the battery,” and everything was okay again. Then we got around to testing our new implementation of a slightly advanced timing on the motor. Seems that our timing was a little off — too advanced. If it had been a racing motor, it would have worked fine, but for an old farm implement, the truck acted true to its character and spit the muffler halfway across the parking lot. Timing and electrical stuff is important this week. As much as you want to tweak some motor in your life, make sure that you don’t tax the system a little too much, or you’re going to spend part of your week scouring wrecking yards, looking for a new used muffler for the vintage vehicle you were working on. (NB, the price of a new muffler was outrageous, more than the value of the vehicle itself.)
Virgo : It’s a special Virgo birthday week. You know who you are, I hope that you enjoy this week. “The Virgo whose name must not be spoken.” Sounds good to me. This is a week that’s got an unusual little challenge in it. It’s sort of like the lugubrious air which floats around Texas at the end of the summer.. The buzzing insects know that their days are numbered, but there just doesn’t seem to be any respite from the heat. It makes for a lazy feeling to it all, but no Virgo would really like to be categorized as lazy, either. So it’s too hot to do anything and yet, you’re too full of good cheer not to do anything, so there’s this “feeling” this “I can’t put my finger on it” sense of energy. It’s a New Moon, coming up, and while that bodes well for your coming year, the does zap a little bit of strength out of you right now. Since it is, officially, Virgo time, I would suggest some cool ice tea, a shady corner, a good book, and a pencil. You’ve got some ideas coming up so you will want to make note of them. But don’t do anything too hasty y this week, it’s a good time to relax some. You have earned a little bit of a birthday type of break.
Libra : The various lawn ornaments — often displayed at Shady Acres Trailer Park — are unique and unusual. Pink Flamingos, of course, are considered in good taste. So is a car,especially, if it is a classic, up on blocks. That means the vehicle is in various stages of “restoration work.” Worn out tires are in abundance because they are so useful for many different things. They make good anchors for mailboxes. They make excellent planters. They also make really good mosquito hotels and breeding grounds. To that end, have you ever tried to get the last, little bit of water out of an old tire carcass? Unless there’s a strategic (possibly painful) hole in the tire, it’s just about impossible to get the last spoonful of water out of a tire. Fill it with concrete and plant a mailbox in it. Fill it with dirt and plant flowers. Do something with the tire this week because if you leave it unattended, it will only serve to breed vermin (mosquitoes). With Venus just beginning to grace your sing, this is a good time to consider some sort of home beautification project, like getting that last little bit of water out of the tire.
Scorpio : Ever use minnows as bait? Even if you have never actually used live little fish as bait, try to follow the symbolism here. “Work with me on this one.” You want to catch some big fish. You use little fish to catch big fish. No jokes about sushi, not this week. In order to get the big stuff this week, you’re going to be coerced into giving up some small stuff. There’s a time to stand firm, and there’s a time to concede that the other parties might be correct in their assumptions about small things. Now, put this in perspective. You’ve got to give up the little fish in order to get the big fish. Giving in on a minor point might bother you, but if you keep the big goal in mind, you’ll do fine. Little fish get you big fish. Don’t be afraid to sacrifice a few minnows so that you can land some rather large fish. And yes, this means it’s a good week for live bait, too.
Sagittarius : Sagittarius is a great sign. I sometime feel that it embodies many of the most noble characteristics without having difficulty with the more detrimental aspects of greatness. And that’s usually the case. But this week, even though I know how great you are, and I’m sticking up for you, I’m also suggesting that this week, you don’t go around telling everyone. Let your CAREFULLY THOUGH OUT ACTIONS speak louder than words. Deeds, not words. This is not a good week to let some publicity person make up some statements for you to be quoted as saying. You run a high risk of coming off as an arrogant fool if you talk too much and let your mouth get ahead of what you are capable of doing. You have the noble qualities, use them, don’t talk about them. Set your might Archer’s sights on the lofty goals and ideals, but let your actions carry you through. The vocal nature of this week is brought to you by Jupiter, and yes, Jupiter is in Gemini, over on the other side of the zodiac right now. Jupiter can spur you to new heights, but be careful that you don’t make claims that you can’t live up to this week.
Capricorn : An astrology chart comes in the form of a wheel. And there are 12 spokes to this wheel, one for each sign. Then there are the cardinal points in the chart, too. Finally, the planets are displayed at certain points within this framework. Your wheel, this week, is little lopsided. It’s path is not a smooth road. It’s mostly a good road for you, but there is one, rather inconvenient, little protrusion on this wheel that makes it turn a little “out of round.” It’s like hearing a “tick tick tick” as you motor down the parking lot of life. Now, either there’s a piece of gravel stuck in the tread of your tire, and it’s no big deal, or, it’s a metallic thing, of the long, slender and pointed variety. Either one can be a problem because the rock can come unstuck and rattle your fender, or even come off at a high rate of speed and cause a tiny little chip in a windshield. Or, the nail could be a slow leak, and not do too much damage, or you can yank it right out, and have a sudden impairment in your forward motion. It depends on the nature of the obstacle which is in your astrological wheel this week. And, it depends on how you deal with the problem. Going slow, and examining the problem before you set out is the best thing. My bet is that it’s a rock, and you can dig it out of the treat with your car keys.
Aquarius : The week starts out with an electrifying jolt from Mars. Mars, the winner of wars, Mars, the subduer of continents, Mars, the angry red orb in the sky…. I’m sure you get the idea. He’s on a little bit of tear, starting this week. It might actually have been felt last week, but you’re really going to feel it as this week starts out. Mars has a little window of time that operates within, and this window is never more pronounce than the span of this week. So you’re going to be energized. You’re going to feel like conquering and subduing whole counties, if not whole continents. Of course, your battles brought about by Mars might be a little more local, too. That’s also the problem this week. On the other end of the possibilities, it could be really localized, and it could just be you, and a mate, arguing over some arcane point about personal hygiene. Or a similar point that’s important to you, but — apparently — not as important to them. As long as there’s this jolt of juice from Mars, it’s okay to express yourself. Just don’t count on the results being exactly what you planned.
Pisces : I was stretched out on the couch, next to a fiancee at the time, and suddenly the cat springs up onto my chest (landing with all her claws, I might had), and looks over at the “other woman” and then the cat proceeds to make quite a bit of racket. I should have seen it from the start that it foretold of a doomed romantic encounter. After all, the cat was letting my date know that the cat came first, at least by her reckoning. Imagine the cat saying, “He’s mine! I saw him first!” (Or something to that effect.) This week, you’re like the cat, a fine and delicate sense of when to land on somebody’s chest with your claws outstretched, a time to know when to loudly explain, “This is mine! I had it first!” Be careful about the outcome of such actions, though. Be prepared to lose a battle this week. Just like that cat did — it’s easy to scoop up a kitten and see how far she will fly when she’s in the process of disturbing a romantic encounter. Now, the real question this week, are you the cat or are you the guy stretched out on the couch with the claws in his chest?
