“To your protection, I commend me, gods!
From fairies and tempters of the night,
Guard me, beseech ye!”
From Shakespeare’s Cymberline [II..ii]
Aries: The idea that Mars can have such a large impact in your life might come under scrutiny this week. Mars is in the sign of Virgo (Tropical Zodiac, established a long time ago). However, it would also suggest that there are some pretty heavy duty work related issues which command your attention right now. This is because there’s an obnoxious spot light in your corner of the sky, and it’s working you over pretty good. I was giving a lecture about astrology, it’s a lot like teaching a class, and there was heckler who thought astrology and little green space aliens had a lot in common. While there might actually be a connection between dubious space aliens, little gray guys with pointed heads and lid less eyes, and astrology, there’s still some connection that I can’t quite understand. Rather than try to understand this sort of problem, when you’re faced with heckler this week, try to overcome the problem with loving kindness and patience. I realize you would rather stomp this detractor into the ground with your big Aries boots, but given the way the planets are this week, such a forceful action might not be the best way to respond. Tread carefully in those dangerous waters.
Taurus: There is a time to play, and a time to play hard, and then there’s always a time when you should play hard to get. This is one of those weeks, one of those times when a little coy behavior on the part of my fine Taurus friend would benefit you a lot more than being “easy.” There are number of ways you can take this information. I’ve found that when you’re like this, it can be quite fetching and captivating. That’s the idea — alluring from the distance. I realize that you want to jump into this situation with both feet, you want to get in there and stir up the mystical stew. Bat those long Taurus eye lashes instead, give us a “come hither” look, and adopt a little more distant attitude. This is a week to say a suggestive “maybe” (you know how to draw out that answer so it’s got about 43 syllables in it). The odd influence right now, and this just gets more pronounced as the weekend gets here, has a lot to do with something other than yourself. But don’t play our games, make yourself the boss, and you guys should be in command by being coy. Literary allusion for the week? “To His Coy Mistress” by Andrew Marvell.
Gemini: Once again, I’ve slipped on the Gemini popularity poll. Not that it matters to me (well, it DOES matter to me, but I have to act like it doesn’t, you know), but the news looks a little bleak. You’re striving for attention right now, and you’re trying to work out some last minute details, and between Pluto and Jupiter, stuck in a tough position for each other, you’re going to find that it’s not exactly the best of places to be. Gemini land is a little uncomfortable this week. Not a happy place. It could be worse, and that’s about the best thing I can say. You’re looking at one little planet over yonder in Virgo who is destined to give you fits this week. Now, a tantrum at the front of a bass boat is not a pretty sight, but when you’re fishing, and nothing seems to be going your way, it’s about all you can do. Of course, we’re back to the problem for the week, and it’s a pretty good indication that your fishing partner will just laugh at your anger which, in return, just makes you even more infuriated. Overcome this by either laughing or crying. Both are very effective tools, and given the Pluto – Jupiter thing, a little laughter this week would go a long way to helping you smooth over this rough spot.
Cancer: “Speak to me. Why do you never speak. Speak” (line 112 from T.S. Eliot’s epic poem, “the Waste Land.” Quoting Eliot at time like this is a little dangerous, but it reminds me of an adolescent relationship I had, and the girlfriend in question would sit on my chest and pound on me, suggesting that I never told her how I was feeling. This is a week when just such behavior is what I would expect out of Cancer. Your scenario may vary a little, but between a literary allusion, and my trailer trash personal life, you should have a good idea of just what sort of picture I’m painting here. And what’s the result? Nothing. Both situations are kind of hopeless, if you ask me. Eliot’s speaker never gets an answer, and neither did my chest beater. Now, you can be supremely frustrated by this week, or you can ignore the obvious distractions and get on with what you’ve got to do. The problem is expecting other people to react to your situation with anywhere near the respect or understanding that you desire. Me? I understand, but I’m special in that way, and I like Cancer a lot more than most. And I understand your unique predicament this week: no one SEEMS to be listening. The good news is that next week, they will wish they had listened to you this week.
Leo: This is one of those week’s when you feel like there’s a lot of evil hanging in the air. It’s like a day when the atmospheric forces create a little meteorological lid for the town, and the exhaust fumes combine with the city dust, dirt and soot to create this almost impenetrable haze. It’s like you can’t see anything for all the air pollution. And to think, this is just the feeling, too. It could be worse, it could be like the pollen on the Blue Ridge Mountains — that’s what the name derives from, oddly enough. And this hazy atmosphere is looks like it will wreak havoc in your life this week. Fear not, oh mightiest of the Fixed Fire Signs, fear not. It’s not nearly as bad as it seems. There’s a cool breeze wafting its way up the river bottom from the coast, and this lovely breeze will sweep this haze out of the way. In other words, if your a little more patient than usual, this can turn into a good week. But you’re going to have strong desire to stay close to home, stay indoors, and stay out of trouble, as best you can, during the week. This haze is not really choking your lungs this week, but it does tend to obscure your view. You might want to feel your way along, instead of boldly charging ahead.
Virgo: As much as I would like to hang your problems on particular planet, I can’t do that right now. There’s a widening pattern in the sky, and that pattern could indicate trouble from any of several sources. Which one is it? Best guess wins. I had an exchange of correspondence with a particular person, and I was bemoaning the fact that I felt like a door had been (metaphorically) slammed shut in my face. I was admonished that, “The good lord doesn’t shut the door without opening another.” Right, And that’s great advice this week, but get yourself close to this monitor, so I can whisper in your Virgo ear, “WHY IS THE DAMN HALLWAY SO DARK?” Get the idea? Neither you, nor I are happy about this situation. There is a definitely some good news, though. Even though you feel like I do, and even though my Virgo senses suggest that this is a bad time, there’s a degree of hope, a single ray of light, there’s a perk coming. Like the metaphor previously alluded to, this comes when you least expect it. The problem with relief like this, is that it comes from a place where you really don’t expect it, as well. There’s no use in trying to second guess where this is coming from, or what it will look like, but there is hope — just make sure you exercise ALL your options and keep them all open.
Libra: More Libra Birthdays, more good news, more interesting world events which shake you up some, but most of the stuff in the news shouldn’t get to you too much. Don’t let it rain on that special Libra parade. You guys have been through so much, the faithful readers, you and me, we’ve been through so much together. And the best part about this week is a little birthday type of surprise. While everyone else is feeling a little unbalanced, there’s a degree of passion in the Libra chart for this week that looks good. There’s a line from that Shakespeare play about Scottish history, though, which certainly bears a degree of reflection right now: “Boundless intemperance/In nature is a tyranny;” [Macduff — IV.iii.68-9]…. That’s the simple caution right now, no big deal, but watch out for making a small problem into a big problem. And if you find yourself taking one wrong turn this week, even though it’s a good time for you, stop, and don’t exacerbate the situation by continuing on what seems like a fated path. You can always change. Besides, not everyone is going to be pleased with you’re good fortune this week.
Scorpio: Your career — not necessarily your job, but in some cases there is an overlap — your career gets an extra highlight this week. There’s a special little emphasis that the planets have to make you even more aware of what’s going on. Then there is also Miss Venus in your sign right now. “Hey buddy, that’s MS. Venus to you, you sexist pig!” Whatever. My nonchalant “whatever” reply is going to be a good lead to follow, too, when you have the same type of detractors following around after you, suggesting that everything you do is incorrect. So when some particular person decides to use your Scorpio self as a whetstone for sharpening their wit, be gentle, gracious and calm. As long as the planets are stacked this way, it would be a good idea not to strike back with typical Scorpio responses right now. Yes, Venus is nice to you, but Mercury is about to grind to a stop, so I really suggest that you take it easy. Enjoy the good graces of the morning star right now.
Sagittarius: Examining a Solar/Lunar chart for fishing, and applying that information as a fishing guide, I can successfully suggest that the time right around the Full Moon is a great time for a better catch. This week, what with the other stuff going, though, it’s a great time for catfish fishing. Catfish can be really ugly, mostly head and skin, and since they are all bottom feeders, the catfish usually taste like the river bottom they’ve been feeding on. There is a definite upside to this, though, because fresh fried catfish is a culinary delicacy which remains unmatched in a part of the world. Too often, the restaurants use “farm raised” catfish, and while it’s okay, concrete ponds lack that special “wilderness” flavor. In order to make this a good week, you’ve got to be willing to go the extra length and locate a fresh water stream, a clear, freshwater stream, and you’ve got to be willing to use some horrific “stinkbait.” AS long as you are willing to go that extra distance this week, as long as you can embrace the adventure of the hunt, you can land some pretty decent dinner, and nothing can be better. But remember, this is a week when you’re going to have to use some nasty bait in order to catch just what it is that you’re looking for. Personally, I’m looking forward to fried catfish, and not that farm raised stuff, either. But it is a bottom feeder, and we all need to remember just what it is that we’re going after this week.
Capricorn: Old musical allusions come to mind right now, and it’s a simple refrain. “Everybody’s workin’ for the weekend….” While that’s a nice idea, when the weekend first gets here, you’re going to find that you are, at one point or another, mildly upset. One or two of my more emotional Cap friends will suggest that they are not “mildly upset” but “wildly distraught.” But no sooner do they fire off a complaint to me than the situation changes. So the coming weekend might get off to a bad start, but it will more than smooth over — given a little bit of time and distance. The rest of the week is relatively smooth. No big bumps in the Capricorn road. No major hurdles to clear. No huge conflagrations which need o be addressed. There might be a few minor problems, but if you didn’t have that, then life would really be boring. Enjoy it, unlike everyone else, this is actually a [relatively] nice week.
Aquarius: I’ve watched this carefully, made some statistical analysis, and determined, from my own conclusions, that you guys are going to have a rather decent week. The problems with this week are twofold: 1] other people, and 2] communicating your ideas. Sounds simple enough. But despite all kinds of good influences right now, you just can’t seem to get your wonderful ideas across to your companions right now. No matter what you do, it’s as if you’re speaking from the bottom of a bathtub. There’s a high degree of folks who just don’t agree with anything that you suggest right now, too. There’s a fair number of your friends who figure that you’re a little too manic this week, and some of these folks are determined to undermine some of your supposed happiness. Are you going to let them get to you? That’s your decision. A trailer park can be a rather intimate setting, and one denizen’s business soon becomes fodder for everyone’s conversation. Some people would call this idle gossip. I prefer to consider it just the pulse of the park. This is a week when nefarious rumors abound, and rather than get caught up in the “He said, she said that he said…” routine, let it slide. Enjoy yourself. In fact, taking in a little bit of fishing this week might really help some.
Pisces: Emotions will run very high this week. And while you would like to look at the bright side, see the sun instead of the moon, and while you would like to imagine that every cloud has a silver lining, you’re going to find, at one point or another this week, the glass will look not only half empty, but my dear (always favorite Mutable Water Sign) Pisces will see that glass as nearly empty and on the verge of a drought. A major drought. No water for miles and miles. It’s a like the parched sands of West Texas, the endless vastness of nothing. And it’s dry. The moment of no hope will not last long, and the planets will return you to your normal, regularly scheduled happiness soon enough. But during this one moment, probably in the beginning of the week, you’re going to feel like you’re on the edge of a virtual desert, and things really do look bleak. Alas, I have no secrets for getting through this period of momentary darkness, no little clue that can help shed light. But I do know that it’s like cloud passing in front of the sun, and it will continue its scudding on into other signs, and thence to bother other folks. Don’t let a moment of darkness ruin your whole week. It’s just a chance to assess some situation that really does need a little examination right now — nothing more. I promise.
