For the week of: 1/8-14/2001
“Let me be ignorant, and in nothing good,
But graciously to know I am no better.”
Shakespeare’s Measure for Measure, Act II, scene iv.
January 8, the King’s Birthday. And while there have been many presidents, there is still only one King.
There’s a tag end Lunar Eclipse coming along this week, and it’s like that great Southern tradition of sending thank you notes, it’s sort of a reminder of what remains from Xmas, last year (really, only two weeks ago, chronologically speaking). See, the way I was raised (Southern style, so I’ve been told), a proper, genteel southern person gets that thank you note in the mail within 48 hours. Around here, it sometimes takes just a little longer. This here eclipse just reminds us of what happened Xmas day.
Aries [3. 21 – 4. 19]: The King’s birthday is a great excuse for a party, and the way things look in your chart, any excuse will do. It’s not terminally bad, or anything like that at all, but you can use a break right about now, and that’s why I suggest that the Elvis Birthday Week should be observed as a special Aries party time. There’s this one Texas author, singer, songwriter, [and cigar smoker] named Kinky Friedman, and on stage, he usually ends every song — after an appropriate round of thundering applause — with a resounding, “Thank you very much!” Mars is heating you up in the strangest of ways as is the eclipse pattern, so do something with it. And try quote that author — frequently.
Taurus [4. 19 – 5.20]: I will get at least one note from a certain Taurus, suggesting that Mercury is retrograde right now. The littlest planet is hardly back spinning at all. No, it’s this weird Sun/Moon dance, and it’s not a two step. In fact, it’s not anything that you will readily recognize. Doesn’t mean it’s bad, but the little dance step of the planets does suggest that the communications arena of your life is going upside down. It will happen this week. Sometime. The message you’re trying to get across, and what gets received on the other end are two different things. Be aware of this, and be prepared for this sort of confusion, and then don’t worry about it. That’s why we keep duplicate copies of ALL correspondence here at the office. Usually. I’d suggest the same thing to Taurus, particularly this week.
Gemini [5.21- 6. 21]: A decent little crime novel, preferably by one of my favorite authors, would do you a world of good right now. Some form of escape is excellent. And the crime genre is best because there is always a fictional hero who runs into problems much bigger than the ones you’re having. In fact, you might come home, look at the trailer in total disarray, and wonder if some character from a novel came through and searched the place, in the most pejorative sense of the word. No, this really looks like it’s the way you left it, but there just isn’t enough time in your schedule to clean it up. And while it’s a little late for proper thank you notes (Southern traditions dictates such a note is always sent within 72 hours) — so deal what exigencies arrive, as they arrive, and realize that you’re going to feel like your house was tossed, and that you’re still behind. There’s only so much time, so do what seems to be the most important task this week.
Cancer [6. 22 – 7. 22]: I looked at your chart, and I thought, “Crazy.” Now, this could be a sad lament about being “crazy for you,” or it could reference some other behavior which might be deemed by others as “insane.” The level of insanity this week surely depends on how well you are willing to come face to face with certain things that are kicking around in your life. How nuts are you? I would tend to regard this as a “fun crazy” week, but there’s going to be more than one hint that it could change, in the blink of an eye, faster than a speeding carp. While carp are not considered the best fish to seek, they can weigh a lot, and even though they have a lot of bones, they can make a dull afternoon rather interesting. In a similar vein, this little Lunar Romp this week can do the same for you.
Leo [7. 23 – 8. 23]: I was stuck writing romance horoscopes because another writer failed to meet a deadline. While I’ve written at length about romance, it remains a largely theoretical area of my life. I’m just afraid that some of the romance has bled into my everyday life. And like me, you’re going to find that there’s a degree of intimate intrigue which is bleeding into your everyday life, especially right now. Bleeding heart? Open wound from a lover? Or is it a chance to heal up a past problem? Not that I have lot of experience with this, what with my lifestyle, which resembles a monk more than anything else, but as long as this romantic element is in the air, why not take a stab at it? Better yet, why not use a fisherman’s favorite tool for a tasks like this, a filet knife?
Virgo [8. 24 – 9. 22]: Sooner or later, sometime in the next week, Miss Venus will exact a toll on you. She’s kind of a funny planet, in some branches of mythology, she’s the Goddess of Love, and in other, disparate mythologies, she’s an indication of war. As long as she is in the sign opposite you, though, move with a degree of caution. She can be nice, or she can be ornery. A little more caution, and little less jumping up and down can help. This doesn’t necessarily mean romance either, but if you’re going to get mad and stomp your feet, then make sure you’re in safe a place, i.e., a boat is not a good place to throw a tantrum, not right now. I prefer to be on dry land when I do that — and so should you.
Libra [9. 23 – 10. 22]: This tag end Lunar Eclipse thing is going to have a weird effect on you. There’s something that you’re not dealing with, and it’s back. Hello? It looks like you were going to get around to it, but it blew up first. Nothing is worse than having a “to do” list — like where I was meaning to dash off a quick thank you note, or clean their boat, or the trailer, or the closet — and then, just when I needed something from that closet, I go and open the door, and about two metric tons of old clothes, fishing gear, unused computers, and a dead cell phone all fall out and land on my head. Rather than wait for this to happen, I suggest you review your list, and get after it in hurry, before it all piles up on you.
Scorpio [10. 23 – 11. 22]: Eclipse? What’s that? You’re a Scorpio, why should you care? I wouldn’t, if I were more Scorpio (there is NO Scorpio elements in my chart — they were surgically removed a long time ago), though, I would be paying attention to the location of Mars. He’s in Scorpio. That means activity. Lots of energy, and lots of activity. Lots. More accident prone, better able to build a BBQ fire that can burn for days and days…. Careful, now, because you’ve got a little to much energy, and you’ve also got precious little restraint right now. Phase of the moon? Who cares? Do something useful with the extra energy. Just be a little careful with hot topics and BBQ pits. Don’t use that razor sharp (and incredibly funny) wit on the rest of us, unchecked.
Sagittarius [11. 22 – 12. 22]: I’ve invoked this lyrical refrain before, but it really bears fruit this week, “Ain’t no luck, I learned to duck….” It’s a Grateful Dead song, and yes, that’s the secret this week. There’s a whole bunch of stuff floating around and causing general mayhem and upset. What are you going to do about it all? Nothing. Avoid conflict. If you see trouble on your horizon, then turn your back on it,and head the other way. There’s just no reason for you to get embroiled in a dispute, argument, or even a nasty barroom brawl, not right now. Sure, it might look like fun, or you might be defending your honor, but surely you’ve learned that time will protect you better than engaging in just such a dispute right now. Trust me. I have the bruises to prove this point, and because I have the scars, you don’t need them week.
Capricorn [12. 23 – 1. 18]: Here’s an almost belated happy birthday to one Capricorn. And you figured I’d forgot? Ha. Mercury is sliding out of Capricorn, so there’s a lessening sense of frantic energy. But in the spirit of Capricorn birthdays, even if I missed one, there’s a still a sense frivolity and gaiety floating around. Is it enough of a sense to lift your spirits? I would hope so. You’re going to find yourself caught in the third leg of triangle this week, as Venus and Mars set up in signs in either direction from you. Now, is this a love triangle? Or is it something different? That’s up for you to decipher, but the triangle shape is there.
Aquarius [1. 19 – 2. 18]: You’ve either got stars in your eyes, or you feel like someone came along and loaded your shorts up with stars. While it’s not exactly shorts weather everywhere, in certain parts of Texas, we can enjoy this winter weather. In shorts. (And cowboy boots with the shorts, but that’s usually just a Texas fashion statement.) So if you’re a starry – eyed Aquarius right now, enjoy the glow as it won’t last long. But if you’re feeling like someone pulled fast one on you, then there’s the message that this won’t last long, and you wind up in an equally good place.
Pisces [2. 19 – 3. 20]: Forget the lamentations of the others right now, turn a definitely deaf ear to the problems over which you have no control. It’s like one of my fishing biddies, and he worries about what the guy in the other boat, across the lake, is doing. Pay attention to what’s right here, right now, in front of you. In fact, back the fishing story, there’s something happening with your own bait, and if you pay careful attention, you’ll notice this. So the trick right now is to watch your own bobber, instead of someone else’s. Makes for a much better ending to the week as Mars and Venus are conspiring to usher in some nice, new changes. Hint: Mars and Venus are the romantic planets, just for a teaser.
(c) Kramer Wetzel, 2000, 2001
