For the week of: 4/30-5/6
“They threw their caps
As they would hang them in the horns of the moon.”
In Shakespeare’s Coriolanus [I.i.213]
There was a journal entry about this, last Saturday’s adventure at the lake, but here’s the scoop in short. Set out on a gorgeous, predawn run to the best fishing spots. Big motor on the boat stops working, right at the southern edge of the dam. Instead of worrying about the big motor who was dead in the water, we started fishing. Caught us a mess of fish — no lie. Slowly worked our way back to the boat ramp, fishing the whole way, that big motor cranked into an upright position, my bare feet resting on it, the pole pointed out over the dead prop. Caught the last two right there, in the inlet for boat ramp. Why worry about things you can’t control? Make the most of it. Oh yes, that motor was affected by Mars slowing down, sure thing. Speaking of no control, the monthly news is up here, for those of you who decided not sign up for the free e-mail delivery.
Aries: Mars was once voted to be the planet most likely to be associated with the sign of the Ram. And Mr. Mars is slowing down. Why should you be concerned about what the little Red One is doing now? Aren’t you glad you asked? And don’t you wish the rhetoric was a little less dense? Or maybe you wish the astrologer was a little less dense. But that’s the problem, with both Mr. Mars and the message, it’s just having a hard time getting the news across. As the week goes along, over and over, you’re going to find you have this overwhelming urge to tell us about it. And along with this urge, you’re going to find that we don’t want to listen. It’s like sending an e-mail to your favorite astrologer, and then he doesn’t answer. So you send another, longer note. Again, no answer. So you call. And all you get is a voice mail. Feels like you’re operating in a vacuum, now doesn’t it? It’s just one planet, having a bit of fun at your expense. Take it a little slower and go easy on us — and yourself — when the message doesn’t seem to get through.
Taurus: I know I told you everything is getting better, but this time is like an ill-fated fishing trip I once had. Off we go, with high hopes, only to discover that we caught a lot less than the legal limit, and no where close to a personal record for the day. In other words, our efforts were not well rewarded. Then, later, we got to comparing notes (telling lies) with other fishermen, and discovered we had the best haul for the day. If you use yourself as your judge, then you’re going to feel mighty poorly about what isn’t getting done. But if you open your eyes, talk to a few friends, comparing some notes, swap a few tales, and do a little comparison shopping, you’ll find that it isn’t so bad — you’re really coming out ahead of everyone else. Remember: comparison shopping is important.
Gemini: There’s a serious galloping motion you’re used to, that special headlong rush into the future, that pace that no one (at least, non-Gemini types anyway) can seem to keep up with. Problems this week stem from a variety of locations, but first and foremost is a looming obstacle, something set directly in your route, a distinct form of opposition. If you’re not careful, working at your usual Gemini, lightening-quick pace, you can blunder straight into this object with your forehead. Then comes a note from the Sign of the Twins, what did you do? Hit it again with your forehead, just to make sure that it was really there. Now, in an effort to provide you with enlightenment, I suggest you stop. It’s a fixed object, it’s clearly in your path, and it ain’t going no where. Slow your pace and plot a route around the obstacle.
Cancer: You know, I’ve got a problem with my conscience. If I was a dutiful astrologer, I would prepare a lecture about the cumulative effects of repetitive hard work, especially work where you feel like you’re the only person doing anything, and I would spool this lecture up, and get ready to deliver it you. I would remind you that lots of hard work, even if you feel like you’re working in vacuum, all this hard effort will pay off, on down the line. If I didn’t have the Texas sized conscience, which I do have, I would be telling you all this. Herein is the problem with unconscionable idea: I suggest running away. An idyllic vacation, by yourself, in a tropical paradise, a cool and refreshing beverage, your Cancer visage in the shade of a rustic straw brim, a pole with some bait, idly dangling in the surf. Either you’re going to work really hard this week, and dream about the vacation, or you can go ahead and book flight out of town, now. The choice is yours.
Leo: The more you get done, the sooner you can get everything off your plate, as it were, the better off you’ll be. Looking at some BBQ Pork Ribs [Cherry Creek Catfish Parlor on Tuesday nights comes to mind], I had this inspiration. It’s a Texas thing, I’m sure, but there’s this long plate, a little dollop of yellowish Potato Salad at one end, a little scoop of Cole Slaw at the other end, and a whole lot of meat and bones in between. To some folks, it can be an endearing sight. To others, it’s nothing more than a challenge. The way I look at a plate full like this, the process I use to tackle it is simple. Start at one end, skip the vegetables, and get right on into the meat. It can be done. Takes a little bit of work, but with patient, attentive effort, and the application of a good BBQ sauce, you can work you’re way through the meat of the problem. The salad on either end is just that, it’s just salad, and clear away the heaviest, most important part of the problems first. Tackle that plate of ribs, and get as much off your plate as you can.
Virgo: There’s an economic war going on, and it’s going to be up to you, my fine Virgo friend, to settle this dispute before we all come to blows, as the expression goes. And settling dispute by hurling lawyers at each other, or by hollering a lot, or by any similar highly agitated display of emotions doesn’t work too well. And the term “economic war” doesn’t necessarily imply that it’s the end as we all know it. This could evolve from something as simple as arguing about whose turn it is to pick up the breakfast tab. But if you recall, I did pay for breakfast last time, so I’m sure it’s your turn now. And that’s just exactly how this little dispute begins. You can argue until you’re blue in the face, argue until you’re green with frustration, or argue until your face is very red, but it doesn’t solve the problem. Between you and me, though, being prepared for this with a paper trail, being able to document that you did, indeed, pay for breakfast last time, might help. Without a receipt, you’re stuck with many colors of unmitigated rage. Worse yet, they might be right.
Libra: “Venus this” and “Venus that” and at this point, you are about as fed up with me talking about that little planet, perhaps other folks, too, and you are tired of hearing about the machinations of just one planet. But her relative movement is an important consideration now. Really. She tore some things up — and this is a lot like the motor which I took apart about six weeks ago, an outboard motor I was going to rebuild for a friend. It looks like we got about half the job done, we got to a nice stopping point, had a cool and refreshing beverage, started talking about fishing, and then, a little later, he headed off to the parts store, and I haven’t seen him since. Yes, matter of fact, it’s been about six weeks now — like Venus, he’s due to show up any minute with fresh beverages and some gaskets so we can finish putting that motor back together. It wouldn’t be much of problem, but it looks like certain brands of insects have started to build a home in part of the motor casing. And like Venus, when you get around to picking up where you left off, make sure no stinging insects have decided to make this a more challenging task, no more daunting than it already is. Now hand me the pliers.
Scorpio: There’s a growing sense of excitement, right here in the land of Scorpio. And that sense of excitement, that sense that there really is something good coming up, that sense of something which would be like impending fame, that’s a good thing. In the back of your razor sharp Scorpio mind, though, you’re thinking, “There’s a down side to this build-up.” Actually, there really isn’t. Tension does exist, but it’s elsewhere right now. If you’re buying into some of this tension, then maybe you’re listening to the wrong people, or you’re taking our problems into your heart a little too much. Sure there’s some erratic stuff, and sure, something don’t seem to be going exactly the way want them to, but are you going to let this interfere with your impending fame? I would hope not. As you encounter the folks who suggest it’s a bad week, dutifully acknowledge their problems, but don’t embrace the problems. You can embrace your friends, but not taking on their burden would be a good idea. Especially now.
Sagittarius: Sagittarius is a pretty sign. Of course, I’m inclined to say nice things about us. Never claimed to be an objective and impartial observer of the Sagittarius clan. The problem with being such a wonderful sign, especially at time just like right now, is that Mr. Mars is doing his level best to make us feel out of place. Doesn’t much matter where we go, the grass will always appear to be greener in another pasture. I once wondered, out loud, why that was. A perspicacious client reminded me that the grass is greener because over yonder, they use fertilizer. I would suggest, irrigation, too. Now, a little water, and some organic compounds might go a long way in making wherever over there is, look better. That’s good news, I suppose. In fact, as a Sagittarius farmer, of sorts, all of us have been thinking about what we can do cultivate our own, internal stuff to make here look as good as over there. Instead of running off, like we’re prone to do, making do with what we’ve got is the best way to approach this time. You can blame Mars, if you like, or you can do like I do, and figure out how to make right here as good as over there.
Capricorn: Ever consider a drastic change in appearance? Ever consider doing something radically different? Ever think, “You know I should just dye my Capricorn locks a different shade….” Brunette goes Blonde. Blonde goes Jet Black. Black goes Red. You get the picture? It’s a change. It’s a big change. Folks look at you different. So you’re going to do something to change up your appearance. In my case, it’s real simple, I’ll put on a shirt for a day. I might even strive to wear something tasteful for a real change. But like putting on a shirt, or temporary dye job to the hair, make sure that the big change is easy to undo. “What do you mean?” I can slip out of my tasteful attire, right quick like. Your big, drastic way of doing a change up — make sure it has an easy route to get back too the way things were — just in case you don’t like our reaction. Personally, I think it looks good on you, but not everyone shares my aesthetic sensibilities.
Aquarius: By now, I’m sure you’ve heard my take on reality, and how I’m not a big fan of the real world, not really. I’m not fond of reality, reality programming, or anything which smacks of the notion that things are not the way I perceive them to be in my own version — my world view is the only way anyone should ever see things. Given this hypothesis, that reality is way overrated as an experience, be careful during the next week because you’ve been looking a little too rosy, a little too happy, and there’s been one or two situations which seemed a little too good. Reality, the real world, the Action News Team, they all show up on the doorstep to your Aquarius trailer — sometime this week. What are you to do? Not that I have a lot of personal experience with this, but all I can suggest is that you exercise a little extra caution when talking to someone from the media. Careful about what you say. You might be tempted to make one of those grand statements — then this real world stuff kicks in, and you’re forced to back up your promise. I hate it when that happens.
Pisces: I know you don’t really want to hear this, but I still figure the best way to talk about this week has to do with the uncomfortable task of cleaning fish. It’s one of those chores best left to the end of the day, it’s the hard part of having all that fun when you’re fishing. It’s not the most pleasant task, and someone has to do it. It’s why I prefer the “catch and release” version of fishing on some occasions. Most occasions, really. So here you are, at the end of the day, so to speak, and there’s a mess of fish who need to be eviscerated, filleted, and packed away on ice. With one of those long and sharp fillet knives in hand, you set about this ungainly, unseemly task. Looks like a lot of work. Now here’s the cautionary note for the week: go slow. If you get in a hurry, especially when you’re working with a sharp knife, you can slip and accidentally trim your fingernail a little too close. Or your fish fillets look more like something which would be good for sushi instead of a frying pan. Maybe that was your idea to begin with, but I kind of wonder. So slow down some when working with this stuff.
(c) Kramer Wetzel, 2000, 2001
