For the week of: 4/9-15/2001
“If you can look into the seeds of time
And say which grains will grow and which will not,
Speak then to me.”
In Shakespeare’s Scottish Play, [I.iii.58]
Accolades for the new shopping cart, T-shirts, and best of all, the coffee mugs — hate to plug the products, but we discussed it here at the office, and we’d really like to avoid all the work required to make this a subscription site. Then last week’s quiz about the earliest record of Shakespeare’s published work? [With the answer from one of several lucky winners?] Remember, unlike some schools, Professor Kramer grades on accuracy as well as originality
>Ol’ Wil Shakespeare’s first works, recently found in the attic of
>Stratford Upon
>Avon’s Delores Russell, were a surprise to the academic community, and to
>the world at large. True to the famous bard’s ingenuity and maverick
>nature, his first work was the mildly popular “See Macbeth Run.” Geared
>towards children, it used simple rhymes and scenarios to help them
>understand essential pathos and bathos skills. An excerpt:
>
>See Macbeth Run.
>See him betrayed.
>Run Macbeth Run.
>Alas Poor Yorick, you run too.
>Run Yorick and Macbeth
Aries: I’m depending on you to watch the the subtle influences of the weather, the sun and the moon, the gentle susurration of the planets’ tides as this time begins to unfold. It’s the little stuff, not the big things, it’s the details that are important. Pause for a moment, up here, in the Northern Hemisphere, the spring time brings cool nights and warm days — with an occasional outburst from Mother Nature. This is where the careful observation of the details is important. It’s like a small butterfly, and watching it as the creature unfolds its wings and takes flight for the first time. Details? Yes, look at the little things. The biggest source of inspiration comes from minutiae which you are inclined to overlook at times like this. Don’t miss the incredible details because you’re spending too much time looking at the big picture.
Taurus: There’s a certain point, a degree of frustration, a certain quality to the air, which comes when Venus is doing a backward mambo. It’s like watching everyone do a “Cotton Eye Joe” and even though you understand the steps of the dance, and even though you like to wiggle your legs like that, it just doesn’t seem to work out right. Your timing is off. Or perhaps a better way to address this is that your timing is just fine, but the timing of everyone else is off. I realize that it sounds a little “Taurus – Centric” as such, but that’s the way it feels, too. You can blame the planets, but it sure helps to be a professional before you start saying things like, “Mars is in Sag, and you know what that means.” Or, “It’s that darn Mercury in Aries….” Get the point? You might choose to sit this dance out, if you really don’t feel like getting up there, and having the whole rest of the dance floor filled with people who are definitely not listening to the same rhythm you’re hearing.
Gemini: Yes, I know that you’ve been busy. Yes, I know that good things are supposed to be happening, especially if you listen to other astrologers, and yes, all of that promise of the last few weeks is supposed to be coming through, just about any day now. Sure, it all looks good on paper, but in the real Gemini world, there’s a hitch or two. It’s not like these are major, in your face, end of the world scenarios, but it does seem that some things just aren’t working out as fast as you would like. It’s the pesky and pernicious influence of Jupiter, and as such, he sometimes pushes you to higher heights that you’re really ready for, given the current planet placements. So be careful in reaching for too much. It’s like trying to catch a big fish on a small fishing set up — it sure can be fun, but it’s also possible for that sucker to snap the light line you’ve got installed. You should always know your limits — and the limits of your equipment.
Cancer: Get close the monitor and let me whisper something in your ear, your delicate, Cancer ear: “Venus is not making nice nice right now.” Got that? I should be hollering, but I don’t really want to disturb you any more than necessary. It’s as if no one wants to play by your rules, not right now. Romance is on the rocks, in fact, interpersonal communications all pretty much hit a rough road, and then there’s this persistent and annoying sense that something is very wrong. I can give you a list of dire influences, dire astrological influences, or I can make a simple suggestion: cool it. Just chill. Take the trademarked (patent pending) Kramer way of looking at this situation: if you just avoid an open confrontation, just avoid banging into the problem with your head, pretend like there is no difficulty, and pretend like the problem will fix itself, you’ll feel better. It’s not really a solution, but sometimes, doing nothing helps us over these rough spots.
Leo: Ole Miss Venus is doing a backward dance in a sign which should be not so terribly bad for you. Notice how convoluted that sentence was? But that catches the idea of the week pretty well. It’s not bad, per se, but then, it’s not wonderful and full of love and light, as the new agers would suggest. It’s sort of in between. Not so terribly bad, but not as Leo Wonderful as you would like. Get the picture? No? Okay, try this: catfish. A catfish is a noble, bottom feeding, very delicious creature who lives in creek bottoms, river bottoms, and various other bodies of water. When you pull one of these guys into the boat, he looks huge, but as it turns out, about 90% of the fish is big, old ugly catfish head, whiskers and all. Some guy who looks like he’s three feet long turns out to have just about enough catfish filet to feed one person. Get the idea? What looks really good at first, doesn’t turn out to be quite as filling as you thought. Thank Venus for the way it works out like that.
Virgo: Covering old ground isn’t exactly your favorite game. In fact, there’s a lot about this next few days which doesn’t seem like a lot of fun. That doesn’t mean you don’t have to approach it with a smile on your face, though, as the idea is to grin and not worry. It’s a little cosmic review period, sort of like the planets are lining up to give you a bit of a pop quiz, and being the dutiful Virgo that you are, you want to be as prepared as possible. A cheery smile, a hopeful attitude, and little behind the scenes work will benefit you. Just remember that this is merely a review session, and not really the big test. It’s like getting ready for getting ready for a test. Sounds redundant, and maybe it is, but you get the idea. You’re getting prepared to be getting prepared. And that should definitely bring a smile to your [prepared in advance] Virgo visage.
Libra: Most of the decent Libra’s who have been kind enough to e-mail this last week are not the least bit pleased with the perturbations in the orbit of Venus. To be sure, it’s not really an anomaly, it’s a predictable pattern, and it’s something she does once a year — only this time, it’s as if they are all out to get you. “They?” Yeppers, it’s “them” again. I know we aren’t suppose to use quotes like that, but to heck with the style manual. At some point this week, you’re going to be face to face with a fixed object, I’m not naming signs, but a particular Scorpio comes to mind, if you know what I mean, and your task is to gently [keyword: gently] ease over this little problem. You tend to get a little too excited, a little too quick like, and that’s no reason to let a small problem develop into a larger smack down.
Scorpio: If nothing else, I have the answers: “Yes, no. No. Maybe, see part three, and a definite no.” Both of us realize that there are far too many negatives in that series of answers, but you’ve got to start someplace, and as my sales department (sales@astrofish.net) always reminds me, “‘No’ just means we’ve got to start working….” That’s the same smart guy who suggested that, “Talk’s cheap until you hire a fishing guide as your star.” That’s the way it goes at this point, talk is cheap, you meet with some unavoidable obstacles, and no one seems willing to do so much as to lift a finger, much less help you with your load, except for me. And even then, I’m a bit pressed and harried, too, but I’m sure I can fit you into the schedule. It’s the planets, having their merry way with your livelihood, and the best way to approach times like this is be prepared with answers to those answers. A little time spent getting all your thoughts in order goes a long way when you’re pressed for those answers on my Scorpio crib sheet for this week.
Sagittarius: It’s hard to imagine, a decent Sagittarius like yourself, being cool and reserved, especially when you want to consider that Mars is still in the Archer’s sign. And yes, a tacit, reluctant, almost impassive look is not what one would expect from this influence, but there’s a little hitch, see, and even though Mars is for making merry, and having a good time, there’re some more subtle energies that you should let prevail. Even though some of the planets want to heat you up, I would urge a cool, calm, reserved demeanor right now. Why the taciturn attitude? In the heating forge of the sky, the planets are “just fixin’ to” temper you. That’s where you get heated to a red hot point and then plunged in a cold vat of water. Some metal, improperly handled, some Sagittarius mettle, it gets shattered by this procedure. And rather than split into a hundred pieces, remain calm in the face of adversity right now, remain cool, and watch yourself win big.
Capricorn: I love combining business with pleasure. And I’m glad that you enjoy the same way of looking at the gray line between work and play, too, especially right now. Looks like you’ve got a business excursion coming up, and it looks like this little venture is supposed to be for fun, but it’s also for work. Or it’s for work, but you get to pad a little entertainment into the bill. It’s one of those. Just make sure that you save all your receipts from this week because you need that old paper trail to justify your existence. Or expenses — it’s one of those. A little bit of documentation goes long way to soothing the weird combination of work and play. Remember what’s said in Shakespeare’s Taming of the Shrew: “No profit grows where no pleasure taken.” [I.i.39]
Aquarius: Every once in a while, someone has to come along and suggest that the Emperor is wearing his birthday suit. I’m sure you’re familiar with the story, the king who called up the tailor to make the finest outfit, and the tailor (not an Aquarius) just spun the outfit out of air, and it wasn’t until he was in the big parade that someone pointed out that emperor wasn’t wearing anything at all. Guess what your job is this week? You get to be the whistle blower. You get to be the loud mouth suggesting that something is just as it seems. You can cut through the hype and hypocrisy faster than my filet knife opens up this week’s catch. Don’t be afraid to be the one who is out there, suggesting that something really is as it appears to be. [The advertising/marketing department won’t like us Aquarius types this week.]
Pisces: It really depends on how sensitive you are, but from my very limited experience, just about every Pisces has a slightly higher degree of sensitivity than any other sign. I would be on the lookout for “psychic bruising” at a time like this. It’s caused by a little dance between a couple of planets in Fire Signs, and watery Pisces has a tendency to extinguish that fire. And therein is the problem. One of my Pisces girlfriends, at a time just like this, did a very noble (not to mention courageous and heroic) deed by cleaning out some material in my refrigerator. Problem being, it wasn’t a leftover dinner, or something which should have been thrown out, it was some special bait I was working, a secret blend of spices and mold, something sure to attract the most reluctant of fish. Problem being, it looked (and smelled) like crud — crud best tossed out. So be careful that you don’t throw out someone else’s treasure during this week’s planet dance.
(c) Kramer Wetzel, 2000, 2001
