For the week of: 7/23-29/2001
“All things be ready, if our minds be so,”
Shakespeare’s Henry V [IV.iii.71]
Shakespeare’s Henry V is always a patriotic source of action-oriented quotes. Nothing says, “Charge!” better than old Henry V. And with Mars marching forward? I hope you get the picture. This web site is not allied with any other site. Like to see it all stay free? Show your support — say “charge it!: Order up a report. Buy a Hat or T-shirt. Or hit the PayPal donate button [it’s like dropping a dollar in the tip jar, a time-honored tradition. Like the sign says at the coffee shop, “Good tippers are more highly evolved.”]
Aries: “If music is the food love, then play on,” is an old Shakespeare quote I banter about as often as I can. I think it was set up as signature file for my e-mail for a while, matter of fact. And music is perfect way to look at this week, what with Mr. Mars doing his thing over yonder in Sagittarius. Yes, it’s time for a country music allusion, especially for Aries, and especially right now. I’m not talking about Hot Country or New Country or that stuff which is coming from places like Nashville and Hollywood these days, I’m suggesting this time is lot like an old tune, old-style country-music. A fiddle, a pedal steel guitar, maybe a rhythm guitar and lonesome voice singing about a “tumbling tumbleweed.” Rather than fight with the powers that be, rather than struggle some, why not just give in to the forces of nature, like that tumbling tumbleweed, and let yourself get blown all over the map? The less you struggle, the easier it gets. What’s more, when you finally to come to a resting place, you’ll find that the next tune is little more snappy, something a little more entertaining. You might not get where you want to be, but you’ll wind up where you’re supposed to be. [Tumbling Tumbleweeds, Sons of the Pioneers, Bob Nowlin, BMI]
Taurus: There’s this toy store here in town, supposedly a place to get toys for kids. Funny thing is, most of the toys don’t seem to wind up in the hands of the purported target audience. Means the kids are usually a little older than supposed — adult age, even. Now, there’s this one model, and it’s a little wind up toy, costs about a buck. Wind the key, and the little character walks forward at a shambling pace, and sparks fly out of the mouth. Sometimes it’s dinosaur looking monster, sometimes the character is in the figure of a nun. Either one is scary (well, sort of, use your imagination). Problem being, you’re just like that toy. Someone has wound you up and set you to run. Sparks are flying out of your mouth, you’re stepping forward, but let’s face it, you’re not really scaring anyone right now. In fact, you’re apt to wind up like that toy, picked up, sold off, and carried away. Worse yet, you’re not fetching much of a price, just about dollar or so. You can succeed this week, but you’ve just got to watch the sparks flying out of your mouth. Tone it down, and you’ll do a lot better. And maybe, it will help if you don’t let them wind you up so much that your main spring gets sprung.
Gemini: Old time country music is perfect place to find a way to explain the way things are going over here in the Land of the Gemini, see if you listen to the lyrics too long, pay close attention to what’s being said in the song itself, it’s pretty sad, the dog died, the wife left, the truck broke down, and you know the rest of that tale. But if you listen to the music itself, there’s a fiddle reel, a bright spot in the song. In comparison, it’s sort incongruous, this beautiful, uplifting tune in the middle of the words which are so sad. You find yourself, against your better Gemini judgment, tapping your feet and nodding appreciatively. That fiddle reel, maybe it was originally a precursor to the long guitar solo, but the gentle strains of that fiddle, the music creeps up one side, and screeches down the other, it just makes things good. So even though the words might be sad, listen to the fiddle reel, and enjoy the good stuff.
Cancer: There’s a water hole near me, perfect place for swimming on hot summer’s day. Barton Springs is one of those oddities of nature, it’s a natural fed spring, the water bubbles up at a constant 68 degrees. It’s about 20 minutes up the hike and bike trail from Shady Acres Trailer Park. Now, “the springs” is a great place to hang out, and especially, on certain days, a great place to swim, the water just cools everything off. It’s fun to take someone who’s never been there for their first dip in the pool. See where this is going? It’s like the first time someone gets dumped into that freezing cold water, the first time, it shocks the system. Mars, doing his hotheaded thing, he’s like that. It feels good. You get to the point where you like it. Gets to a point, by the end of the week, where you really like it. “Hey, let’s go swimming again today!” you cry out. It’s just that first time, the first time you hit that freezing cold water (only 36 degrees above freezing — that’s some cold water). You’ll get used to it. In fact, you’ll get to where you like this new planetary arrangement.
Leo: Happy birthday, dear Leo. This is for that one, special Leo — you know who you are — and now, back to our regularly scheduled horoscope. It is birthday time, and that means it’s still time to party. Or it’s time to party now. The best place to start is line yourself up with a little bit of comfort food. That’s always a good place start right? Now, comfort food can vary, and you’ll note that there’s a definite trend in my choices and suggestions, starting with enchiladas, covered with a hot green sauce. Next might be chicken fried. That’s a food group, near as I can tell. I’ve seen it as chicken friend steak, or, for the vegetarians, chicken fried tofu (yes, that’s an actual dish around here, and it’s pretty tasty for bean curd). But start out by taking yourself out for a comfort meal, something that sets your tone in an uplifting manner. Not everyone seems to be up with this idea that it’s your birthday, and instead of getting bogged down with their problems, go ahead and enjoy what you can. Comfort food. Doesn’t solve all the problems but you and I will both feel better. As one Leo is fond of pointing out, “Carrot Cake is a vegetable.”
Virgo: Rain is always a hot topic in the middle of the summer. Things been kind of dry in your neck of the woods? They have been around here, but it’s not like this is really that unpredictable — Texas weather is like that. But there’s a special feeling, a certain sense, it’s that smell in the late afternoon as a hot day suddenly gets a little chill to it (anytime it drops below hundred, it’s a chill), and there’s that smell. Can’t you smell that smell? It’s rain. I think one of my scientific friends expounded at length about how it was ozone being released by the lightening and the combustion, and how the temperature really goes up, but with the clouds, the sunshine is gone, and it’s about to rain. The first big drops start to fall, and it’s that special feeling. Summer rain storms are a pleasure in life. The dust settles, the parking lot here becomes a sea of mud, the cat looks out the window at what happened, and there’s still that wonderful aroma. Better than most my cooking, as a matter of fact. Get the idea? Enjoy this solitude while you can, it’s a brief respite right now. As one of the Hanks sings, “I love thunderstorms and neon signs….” [Hank Williams III, “Risin’ Outlaw,” lyrics by Wayne Hancock]
Libra: Find yourself a good Leo, align yourself with said Leo, and have yourself a party. That Leo needs a little cheering up, and who can party like Libra? You’re in the mood for some good times, and finding the right person to play with is important, especially right now. It’s time to play. Worry about what you will later, but for the moment, for the time being, for this week, get out and get down. Or get up. I can never keep the direction right, which one is it, anyway? Get down? Get up? In a similar vein, you’re having trouble with figuring out which direction you’re supposed to be going in, and that’s why a good partner is most important at this point — you could use a decent (or indecent, depending on your point of view) partner in crime. Find some loud, brash, raucous individuals, and hitch your Libra wagon to their star. You’ll have a good time, and it’s about time you had a good time.
Scorpio: Ever call up a radio station, something the guy said, caller number 43 wins a pair of tickets to the monster truck pull (or whatever entertainment really works in your neighborhood)? You’re winner right now, but when the station plays back your call, you sound terribly silly, screeching into the phone, “I won! I won! You’re the Man! I’m the Man! Oh yes, I won!” So the good news is you’re the winner — you got what you wanted. The obvious down side is all of your friends are going to hear you on the morning show, sounding like a complete fool. It’s an embarrassing situation, but you know what? Think about it, dear funny sounding Scorpio, you’ve got tickets. Front row. Center stage. Right on the 50 yard line. So what if they all laugh at you a little? Do you detect just a twinge of envy in their voices? You ever price tickets to a monster truck show, anyway? No way you could afford that, so this is a lucky break. Who laughs last? You do. (As it should always be.)
Sagittarius: Two up, two down, and two more to go. There’s a 50/50 split, right down the middle. It’s either good, or it’s a little on the rough side. Maybe it’s a little of both. If you find yourself — like me — with more of the rough and uncomfortable stuff going , then chill out for a minute. In the late summer evenings, in the twilight, I fetch myself up a little bit of homemade Mint-Hibiscus Tea. The mint grows around here, almost like a weed. It’s the one plant I can’t seem to kill. I haven’t quite worked out the details about the hibiscus flowers, but I’m not doing to badly with this recent batch. I have a big glass jar, pop a bunch of the mint and flowers in there, add hot water, and then ice the concoction down for about 24 hours, so it’s good and cool. Watching the light leak out of the day, sipping on a caffeine-free herbal tea, letting the mind wander, this is a good thing. The tough stuff? It’s still there, but with a moment’s pause and reflection, there’s a chance to figure it all out, put in perceptive. That’s what’s important. Remember it’s a 50/50 split, so the little troubles slowly fade, like the summer day’s heat.
Capricorn: Bet you’ve got that itch again. Before you scratch, I want you to stop and think. Remember when you were on the trail last week? You moved aside to let joggers blaze past you? Remember stepping in that stuff that looked like ivy? Three leafs on each stem? The question is, was that mustang ivy, or is it something a little different? The deal is you’ve got a scratch you want to itch. I mean, you’ve got an itch you want to scratch, but before you do that, you might want to check and make sure you didn’t inadvertently step in some poison ivy. I usually get a collective groan about this stuff, but I mean it in a figurative sense, not in the real world. Before you set off to do something, before you listen to that yearning, before you scratch that itch, check to make sure it really is the best thing you can do.
Aquarius: “Mercury’s not retrograde, is it? What is up with that?” And no, Mercury, the winged messenger of planets, is not in a fatal tailspin at this point, spiraling out of control and wreaking havoc with communication systems. Nope, ain’t him. But there are few untoward influences in the Aquarius side of the system which are not doing so very hot. In other words, you feel like “they” are out to get you again. I can make this sound pretty, but let’s face the hard facts here. No one is really out to get you, although, I’m sure you’d disagree with me right now. Sure feels like they are out to get you, and it feels like they are trying their dead level best to upset your world. You call up and order pizza, and they deliver it with anchovies when you specifically said, “No anchovies.” Send it on around here, I like anchovies — and jalapeno — on my pizza. So you can make a lot of folks happy right now, just, your Aquarius self keeps feeling like something, somewhere, just ain’t quite right. This sense, this pervasive feeling will pass, and you will get back to normal. Just be prepared for a little upset or two. If you don’t want that pizza, we’ll be happy to take it off your hands.
Pisces: I desperately want to toss out a good scope for Pisces. I have a hunger in my soul to offer some sort of words that are uplifting — but [I know you hate me when I throw that word in there] — but there’s a little problem. It’s not really Pisces who have the problem, it’s just you keep running into little obstacles. Not big, insurmountable obstacles, just little problems. Individually, this little challenges wouldn’t be a big deal. Taken one at a time, these would all make amusing anecdotes about how everything is going wrong, you know, about the time the you locked your keys in the truck? Called a locksmith, then discovered the vent window on the passenger side was open, and you could snake your arm in there, and unlock the door? Get the picture? If there was just one problem like this, we’d all have laugh and get on with the rest of the stuff at hand. But (there’s that word again) it just seems like there’s one problem after another. Like, getting your arm stuck in that vent window — not that I have any experience with this on an old truck myself — but the problems all seem to compound themselves. If you can laugh it all off, you’ll be better off. Then maybe you can give me a hand with this truck door….
(c) Kramer Wetzel, 2000, 2001
