For the week of: 9/17-23/2001
“Thus conscience does make cowards of us all.”
Shakespeare’s Hamlet [III.i.83]
I’d already selected that Hamlet quote to introduce this week before the recent turn of events. Want to help? Try these guys. The planets continue to chart a course in the airy firmament, and so this web site continues with its usual brand of material.
Aries: Uphill, downhill, it’s all forward motion, at least, to me it is. [The proof is in the pudding?] But I’m not an Aries, although, I do have an Aries sentiment, and particularly right about now. Some of the next few days, you’re going to feel like you’re battling your way uphill. Some of the days, you’re going to feel like you’re descending, a little out of control, at a little more rapid pace than you’re accustomed to. In both cases, you feel like the elements are overwhelming, and those same elements might just win. Ever wonder what it feels like to be a fish on the end of a lure? “Darn bait, looked good at the time,” according to the fish, “what was I thinking? Plastic eyes?” Now, in this case, you can either face these mounds of problems in typical Aries fashion, all armed and dangerous, or you can stop before you strike. Take it a little more slowly than usual. You can save some of the back and forth motion, some of the trouble, by looking before you strike. And it doesn’t really matter, uphill, downhill, it’s all forward motion to me.
Taurus: Let’s take one more stab at this, and I’m not sure I like the way that sounds, but this is sort of like a shot in the dark, a blind stab at something which is a possibility, a potential, a thing which might be, but I’m just not sure what is the right direction. As much as I hate using a fishing metaphor, that might work the best. You tie a nice, big lure on the end of your fishing line, and sail it out across the edge of the lake to land it in a perfect spot, right underneath a willow tree. The fish take no notice. You try a second lure, something very different. Still no luck. You consult with a fishing guide (the the stars) and try my unusual suggestion, a lure which shouldn’t work, but you’ve had two lures not work, so maybe my advice isn’t such a bad idea after all. I am the professional, remember? So try that one, some what unconventional idea, and on your third attempt, pow. Start reeling in the fish. Or whatever it is that you’re hunting for. Or even trying to get established. Sometimes an unwise suggestion has the most wisdom. Third time around, try my suggestion.
Gemini: Okay, it’s like this, Bubba [Gemini Bubba, fishing buddy and confidant, general partner in crime around here] used to complain about how long it took his girlfriend to get ready to go out. She’d say, “I’ll be ready at 8.” At the appointed time, she was still applying makeup in her trailer, and there was Bubba, with flowers wilting in his hand. He’s learned a thing or two, though, and now he doesn’t mind. One thing is he’s more patient, and when he consulted me about this problem, I was able to point out — all that time the girlfriend spent in front of a mirror? Hey, look on the bright side, at least she cast a reflection in the mirror. He wasn’t so lucky with his first wife. We’re all pretty sure she never cast reflection. At all. Look on the upside right now, it might take a little longer, but there’s something to be gained from having the extra time.
Cancer: Eight-track tapes were, at one time, the cutting edge of high technology. Eight-track tapes, the cartridges, were pretty cool for about three summers, a time when the idea of portable source of sound with a reasonable version of high fidelity was considered the coolest of the cool. There was time, what, more than 25 years ago, when this was the thing to have, right? Alas, like so many computer brands and operating systems, the fragile nature of what is superior technology keeps marching forward. When I worked exclusively as a computer tech guy, I borrowed some snappy journalist’s phrase and called it the “bleeding edge.” What is so desirable this minute, what is hot right now, what is necessary in order to be cool this week? All of that will change. Instead of being caught on the bleeding edge at this point, why not relax, watch the trade winds as they change directions, and catch the next edge of what’s hot? The suggestion is not to get too riled up about needing stuff right as your needs will change quickly. But I still have an 8 track, if you need it.
Leo: Sometimes, you know, there’s not a lot to write about. Sure, there is a little planetary action sort of affecting you, but it’s not like there are any big deals. I once put my mailing address in the Leo horoscope, inviting Leo mail. The postman at the office was not thrilled — he had to use a larger truck just to haul in the copious quantities of mail, I got about three bags full. In my line of work, I’m used to it. Likewise, you get the mailman to dump a load of stuff on you, too. Now, most of this is the way it should be. It’s adoring mail. Fan notes. Old flames who remember what you were like way back when. I’d call some of it flame mail, but that only implies a degree of heat and passion, not the other variety of flame mail which delineates the amount of woe, trouble and various other problems going on right about now. So settle in for this week’s mail bag of stuff. It’s going to be mostly interesting and endearing. There might be a surprise — I usually get an offer of marriage or two, much to the consternation of my girlfriend. [Got one of those faxed in last week, too — should’ve seen the look on the cat’s face then!] Take in a giant Leo stride — it’s just work, and you can deal with it.
Virgo: My musical tastes are rather varied. It’s one of the reasons I failed as a radio disc jockey — I could never stick to just one play list. From a highly syncopated dance track without much substance to the lyrics, just as I was about to begin the Virgo horoscope, some religious chant music came up next on the stereo [I know, I should listen to quadraphonic, surround sound stuff, but I’m just telling the truth, it’s only two channels]. What a perfect note to tie up the Virgo scope, though. Things go from frantic, hectic, all over the place, to calm, serene, monks chanting something in language I can’t begin to understand. Not knowing the lyrics has never stopped me, though. It’s like going from Marriachi Musica to some really calm Classical. From hard rock to soft jazz. From instant dance music to something more refined, a little less driven, and the feeling in Virgo, by the end of the week is one of nuances. Happy, uplifting nuances, but subtle, happy nuances. Might even be in a language you don’t understand, but you can feel the sentiment, I hope.
Libra: Thus begins the month long celebration of Libra. Sort of. See, the way it works when I dole out information on a weekly basis, see, the weeks and the signs don’t always match up quite right. Close, but not quite. Your birthday month will begin towards the end of the week, and this is significant. You can start preparing to party, if you so desire. Might want to get those party muscles in order, if you know what I mean. Time to work out a little bit, some capacity or another. Now the thing is, the early party planning is okay, but you might want to hold close reign on your expectations. What? What do I mean? How about slowing down long enough to take some extra precautions — how about making sure that you cover everything which needs to be covered? I mean this in a very real way. Just last week, my Libra self was repainting some of the cabinets in the kitchen. I put down a drop cloth, hung newspaper over the windows, and masked off just about everything — except for the phone. So I now have a few white drops and single slash of white paint on the phone’s cradle. Doesn’t look bad, except it’s a dark brown phone. Cover everything in preparation.
Scorpio: Where I live, as the Fall Season approaches, there’s just a hint, a tickle, a suggestion, that something is afoot. The days aren’t quite so hot. The evenings get dark a little earlier. On the road out of town, there’s a little bit of a mist which settles in the low spots of the rolling prairies, just south of here. There’s this subtle hint that changes are coming. Increasing the amount of dark at night, getting towards point where there’s almost as much night time as there is daytime, looking for that balance point, that’s what’s happening all around here. The change is ever so gradual, too, like the mystical time which occurs right at sunset, that time when there’s a sudden calm on the lake’s water, then an easy breeze kicks up, smelling slightly sweet, hinting that the stars will be out tonight. Take a moment to revel in the gathering dusk, sometime this week. (Okay, is you’re in the Southern Hemisphere, enjoy the coming springtime — for those who want me to be globally aware), but in any case, this is significant because it does indicate some kind of change is brewing on your own astrological horizon. Pay attention to the gradual shifts, not the big ones, just the little ones, as these hold more indications about what’s coming your way soon.
Sagittarius: I am not one who would normally advocate inaction. Nope, that’s not my usual style. But instead of charging off into the great Wild West, instead of entering a battle with your guns blazing (hopefully this is just a turn of the phrase, but in Texas, one can never tell), instead of shooting first and then asking questions, consider the other way. What other way? We’ll call this the “Fishing Guide to the Stars Way” right now. I think that term is already trademarked by me, I guess I have to check with the legal department. Anyway, try my FGS Way, and see if this doesn’t work a lot better. Go slow. Observe. Keep your handgun, rifle, Bowie Knife, mouth, e-mail, keep all of these things tucked away and out-of-sight. I know you can sling words like missiles, and missiles fly as fast as words, but keep all of your weapons out of sight. Go slow. Observe. Assess the situation. A little recon action can save you a lot of errors, later.
Capricorn: If you were born in Capricorn, on or before the King’s birthday, this is an exciting, fun filled time. Or, at least, it’s exciting. Fun filled? Depends on how you deal with challenges that are tossed your way. Tossed? How about the Universe is throwing some really strange stuff at you right now. Improbable situation, things which go far beyond what you would call normal. Things which are weird. Things which defy being called weird. The other half of the sign has it easy right now. But they all need to start getting ready, because that weird stuff will catch up with them soon enough — be patient, everyone gets their turn. How to handle it? There’s a good dance metaphor here, this isn’t a slow, stately shuffle, not like the traditional country two-step. Nope, this is lot more active like the Cotton Eye Joe. Get ready to do some dancing to help deal with the strange days ahead.
Aquarius: My history is a little rough, and the lore surrounding this one event is so convoluted by modern media and movies, that I’m not sure which is scholarship and what fiction is really true. But more recent findings have suggested that Colonel Travis did try to negotiate a surrender for the Alamo, and this was an effort to prevent the bloody beating the Texicans (as they were called) took. Like Colonel Travis, you might want to consider a similar action, see if there isn’t a decent compromise that can be worked out. See if there isn’t a negotiation that is available. See if you can’t just “talk this one out” instead of facing odds that are surely stacked not in your favor. The way I see it, the more you talk, the better your chances of survival become. Start talking, you’re bound to reach a good point of arbitration before too long.
[c.f., Gates of the Alamo by Harrigan, Stephen. NY: Knopf, 2000]
Pisces: Ease up on the pressure to make a change. Something, like what my usual Pisces fishing buddy does to get ready before a big fishing tournament, the usual stuff that other people do? Just make a little extra allowances for this. It might seem to take longer than usual, and that could be because you’re just a little more impatient than usual. No reason to hurry, and these delays caused by other people? Come on, between you and me, we both knew this was going to happen. So slow down, and make allowances for the usual delays. My Pisces fishing buddy, let’s say we’re going out to eat dinner, and he says, “I’ll be there at 7.” I have to translate this, where the term “7 PM” means “sometime between 6:30 PM and 6:30 AM.” Now, it’s not the Pisces fault, not this week, but you’re going to encounter one of your old friends — maybe a new one — and that person will suggest a very Piscean 7 time frame. Make allowances and celebrate if it’s within an allowable 12 hour margin, give or take a few minutes. Got that?
(c) Kramer Wetzel, 2000, 2001
