“Nature teaches beasts to know their friends.”
Shakespeare’s Coriolanus [II.i.6]
It’s not like this week got off to a good start, and here we are, in the middle of the week, Ready for a change? I know the rest of us here at headquarters are ready for a positive change. Taurus gets off to a good start this weekend.
Aries: There’s one, lone Aries, and it’s her birthday this coming weekend. But other than the last few of the Aries still partying down, it’s really almost Taurus time. There’s an added advantage to this Taurus time, for Aries in you — time for some relaxation. Go back over some of the stuff I’ve suggested about Taurus. Delicate, sensual, built to last, made for the long haul, and able to leap tall buildings in a single bound. No, wait, that part about the building, I just made that up. But the rest of the about Taurus applies, and it applies in the Aries life right now. Slow down the pace, take a gander at the big picture from the front porch of your own, Aries trailer. Think about sprucing up the old homestead. Think about relaxing ion the sultry summer evenings with a cool beverage of your choice — mint tea on ice comes to mind around here. Chill yourself out, and make some plans for the coming few weeks. But maybe, as a distinct change, maybe don’t try to actually get anything accomplished right now. There’s no hurry. No, really, no hurry right now — it’s time to sit and enjoy.
Taurus: Usually, my cat crawls up on my and proceeds to make several laps around the bed when she wants to be fed, first thing in the morning. She meows loudly, and with her considerable girth, when she tracks across my sleeping form, I’m awakened by the weight. While she can’t wait. But certain cool spring mornings, she opts to sleep in with food not being the most important thing in her life. Sleep, on such occasions, seems to be more important. We have many, many Taurus birthdays coming up. But like my cat on those cool spring mornings, sometimes the best way to celebrate doesn’t include getting everyone up and out of bed. Sometimes the best thing is not to wake everyone up with noise, maybe sleep a little later, and face the day more refreshed. So when you want to get out and announce that it is party time for your Taurus self, maybe the best way to do this is to let it come to you. In other words, let the sleeping dogs lay right where they are. Unfortunately, this being said, I’m faced with a hungry cat at sun up for the next week. But my cat doesn’t have to wake you — count yourself lucky.
Gemini: Activity needs direction. And direction is the one thing that seems to be missing right now. Just pick a single, straightforward, methodical, plodding, work-oriented direction, and stick with it. A week seems like a long time to have to stick to just one task, one goal, one direction, and this particularly problematic for a Gemini like yourself, but try it. Stick to just one. I know, “sign of the twins,” and all the rest of that stuff. But listen, two words: Mars and Saturn. There’s your twin stuff. Now see: one direction. Instead of trying to do 14 things at once, pick just one of those fourteen tasks, and stick to it. A little sticking action on your part will harness the power of those two planets. You will be amazed at what you can get done, if you just stick to it. Two planets, one energy. One Gemini, one goal. I know this might sound a little cryptic, but that’s the point. I’m trying to keep this short and sweet, so try sticking to just one thing at a time right now. You’ll get a lot more accomplished if you try this.
Cancer: The weekend might start with a sharp report, but after you get over that initial bang, it slows down to slightly less frantic pace. That’s the good news. And from there, it just gets better and better, or, at least, if you have the right attitude, it gets better and better. Realize that the lucky star is in your sign (Jupiter) but also realize that everything else is lining up in signs that precede yours. Means it’s time for a watch and wait attitude. I didn’t say your were going to watch and wait, I said a watch and wait attitude. You can continue to work towards your desires right now, but if anyone asks, you’re just biding your time, sort of waiting on a sign from the heavens. Or a sign from your astrology fishing buddy. But underneath the Cancer veneer of “watch and wait,” you can be busily working towards that one desire right now. Just don’t tell anyone else about it. And that sharp report at the beginning of the weekend? It might make you jump a little, but it’s really no big deal. All noise, no content.
Leo: One of the biggest causes of consternation in my life is when “work” interferes with what I really want to do, i.e., go fishing. In fact, I have this one bumper sticker that keeps getting lifted from the truck’s bumper, “Fish Naked.” But sometimes the call of the computer, the ringing of the business hotline, the voice mail, the web pages, sometimes all of this stuff interferes with what I’d rather be doing. Work gets itself firmly in the way of what you would rather be doing this week. Nothing I can do to make you feel any better about that. But I can assure you, I feel your pain. I know the sentiment. That feeling like you want to be someplace other than where you are right now? Oh yes, I know that feeling. Okay, our maudlin, sentimental journey is over, we both feel the same way, although, I suspect I’m lot lazier than you are. If you’re willing, even if you’re not willing, the more time you spend doing that work thing right now, the more time you get to play later.
Virgo: There’s a sense of ease and grace, a period of refined contentment, yes, this is coming along shortly. But first, we have ot have a word about the irritable comments you’ve been sending lately. I understand that you’re none too fond of what some planets are doing to your sign right now. But that influence, by and large, is a passing influence. It’s like I’m looking at a full week of virgo astrology, and all I see one, maybe two, sleepless nights. You know, the nights when you close your eyes, and that giant grand daddy catfish comes to you and cusses at your for reeling in his offspring. Nightmares for some of us. But this is a passing thing, only lasts for a little while. And when I get nightmare about some big fish coming to treat me like bait, I’ve found that the best remedy is to get out and fish up a storm. There’s only one or two god days for fishing in the next week, but if you’re able to put those to use, you’ll find that the nightmare big fish goes away.
Libra: The upcoming weekend is none too hot for Libra. That’s just putting it as simply as I can. However, even before the bad weekend is over, things start to get better. It’s like a weekend when I was working in El Paso, not long ago. See: El Paso really feels like it’s not a part of Texas proper. “Seems like the state government in Austin is forgetting about us out west.” I’ve heard it more than once, and that’s sort of what you feel like, during the next couple of days. But then, there’s a break. El Paso has, perhaps, some of the finest cuisine in the whole state of Texas. No one brags about it; most folks miss this obvious fact. Situated between New Mexico and Old Mexico, the best of the culinary treats from both place are combined in a place where Chicken Fried is also an art form. After a torturous weekend in El Paso, sitting down to a nice road meal at one of the local places just seemed fitting. And that took a hard few days, and during the span of a single meal, everything as better. Might have been the hot sauce, might have been the tender strips of beef cooked up in onions and fresh New Mexico chilies. Might have been a lot of things. Even if you don’t get that endorphin rush from seriously hot peppers, you will still feel the same thing I just felt. It’s getting better, maybe even before the weekend is up.
Scorpio: I have this extra sensory perception thing that happens around Scorpio’s. I can pick up on them from a mile away. One enters the room, and I notice them immediately. Nothing I can do about it. It’s not the best possible combination, though, me and Scorpio. I mean, I like them, and they are quaintly amused by me, but I lack the real depth that a god Scorpio requires. I’m too fickle for their tastes. doesn’t bother me too much, but it can be a problem. Now, this is a week when a shallow guy like myself is a big hit with the folks in Scorpio land. You just love our sense of humor, the whimsey, the light hearted feeling we bring with us. Good stuff. Not long lasting, but good stuff. Instead of worrying about long range, in depth, forever stuff, go easy. Your Scorpio antenna will pick up on people just like me right now. Why not just enjoy us for what we are? Shallow, but vastly amusing? Get a giggle out of us rather than believing every last word? Take us with a grain of salt, but hey, enjoy the light, airy feeling you’ve got right now. No need ot get worked up over the less serious signs.
Sagittarius: Unless you’re planning on sending in a sympathy note — with a check, money order or credit card number attached — then let’s just not talk about it this week. It’s sort of a rough time, a time when we all have a few decisions to make. As much as I would like to be really easy, simple and straightforward, there are few twists and turns. And in as much as I would like to make this easy to understand, that’s the problem. None of this is really that easy to grasp. It’s all a little more complicated than that. I was riding along with one of fishing buddies the other day, and I started explaining about this situation, which led me to define a certain term used, which then led me to talk about certain country singer, which then led me to talking about what was going on with this one girl I know, which then led to another topic, and about half an hour later, I still hadn’t arrived at the original point. In fact, I forgot what I was talking about — not that forgetting the topic is ever a problem for me. Fishing buddies are a forgiving lot, at least mine are. There’s a theory that I can talk for 45 minutes and not say anything of importance. But this is the way the next few days go. Watch it with the chatter, or, if you’re like me, it’s okay to ramble a little bit. Lord knows, I was born a rambling man. Since no one else will grasp the the situation, a little bit of talk fills in the dead air space. Maybe that’s best.
Capricorn: One of the fondest Capricorn moments I’ve ever had involves an elderly Capricorn person. It would be considered very indelicate of me to reveal her true age, but she could fit in the crone category. Instead, despite her years, she’s just about as much fun as they come. She drinks, she party’s down and she chases young boys. The funniest time with this particular Capricorn came at a dinner engagement. She was about halfway into a really good buzz, something about Tequila does it for her, and she was commenting on something. She turned to me, said she just had to tip her hat to me, and she lifted up hair. Or what I thought was her hair. It was a wig. Being male, I don’t know a lot about female fashions, and that night, I learned that I knew even less than I thought. All those years, I thought it was real. Apparently this was no surprise to most of the other females in attendance, but it shocked the heck out of me. Must have registered in my face. Now, this cautionary tale is about your weekend fast approaching. It’s your turn to do something a little shocking, a little silly, and maybe, just maybe, you’ll be remembered in perpetuity for your actions. Even if you’re not remembered in perpetuity for your actions, you’ll still get a good laugh out of the crowd. You might even shock one seemingly unflappable Sag.
Aquarius: What was it, 20 years ago? Maybe not quite that far back, but an artist whose name was Prince did a little song about “party like it’s 1999.” What’s this got to do with your upcoming weekend? Party like it’s 1999. There’s a reason for that. There’s the new year, the hangover, the awful world at work, and at least one situation you’d really like to forget about that’s parked around the corner, coming up at the beginning of the next week. But just for this weekend, just for right now, party on. While it’s not actually a real celebration of any sort, at least not most places, you can make it into one. The last few days of Aries are pretty darn good to you. But just as soon as Taurus starts, the party’s over. Now, you can be smart, and spend the next few days getting ready, or you can follow my sage advice and put off getting ready. Why do today, when you can put it off until next week? Worry about that, then.
Pisces: I’ve found that most matters resolve much quicker when I lay out a little charm. It’s long since become a standing joke with my peers that my favorite sign is the sign sitting in front of me, or beside me, depending on location. And it doesn’t matter what the situation is, the other person is either wearing a nice dress, or a hat with a nice logo on it, or some nice jeans, boots, something. There’s always common ground to be found. You’ve got a lot of little upsets coming your way. You can rant and rave, throw a fit, have a small tantrum, but that’s not going to get you anywhere. you might feel better for a second or two, but then, you’re stuck with that concept of having to go back and apologize for what you just did. That’s ugly. You’re Pisces. You’re reading the Fishing Guide to the Stars. You’re more perceptive, a little sharper, and yes, you can be more charming. Lay on a little of that oily, cloyingly sweet and sticky charm you’ve got. Yes, I know it comes across as saccharine to you, but you will be pleasantly surprised when some of that charm works. Like I said, there are number of small problems, but you can charm your way out of some of them. Besides, you really do looking fetching in that outfit.
