“Do any thing but this thou doest.”
Shakespeare’s Pericles [IV.vi.173-8]
Sort of like a Shakespeare spin on “Just do it.” And for those so inclined, for an hour or so after sunset, both Mars and Venus appear to be sort of close together, twinkling in the western sunset quadrant.
Aries: Happy birthday to that one Aries (yes dear, you know I mean you.) And, while birthdays are not celebrated the way they always should be, as birthdays go, this is a good one. Matter of fact, the way I see it from my perch here atop the office, Aries land looks good. If your own, personal Aries viewpoint doesn’t look as good as my vision claims it should be, I’d suggest you do like I do, crawl up on the roof, and see if that doesn’t help. What am I doing on the roof? It’s that time of the year, when the AC unit needs a little attention. I was trying to get to the AC repair project ahead of time. I usually wait until it’s really hot — like it will be in June — before I get around to figure out why the thing that’s suppose to blow cold air is blowing hot air. But crawling up on the roof offers an excellent view. So, the news is this: if isn’t any good, then change where you’re at, to see if that improves the way you see things. And while you’re at this change of view, you might want to give the AC unit up there a little kick, just for good measure. Never hurts to start preparing now.
Taurus: There are big astrological influences then there are little fellers. And sometimes, it’s not the size of the planet, but the impact the planet has on you that counts. You’ve got two forces pushing and pulling on your sign right now, maybe more, depending on how you want to look at it. If you’ll turn your attention to the night’s sky, shortly after sunset, Venus and Mars are visible, and that little sliver of the sky is called Taurus, by my astrological definitions. Is this important? Sort of. That pair is one of the influences I was alluding to. It’s generally considered to be a good one. More or less. You get the idea. The Sun is still parked in Aries, and that’s not so hot for you. But there’s this weird push-pull effect, sort of like a sound sampled by a DJ, then looped back on itself, then twisted around, stretched out and then compressed one more time. You can hardly make out the original sample, the original note seems lost through all those loops. But it’s still in there, hanging on. Which, by the way, is what you should be doing. Hanging on because if you’re feeling the bad stuff, then the good stuff is about to happen. And if you’re feeling good stuff, listen carefully, as you might not recognize the next version, but it’s still good.
Gemini: One of the hardest things in the world, one of the toughest assignments, and this is made doubly tough for a Gemini, is to do something nice for someone, be kind, do a good deed, lend a helping hand, and do so anonymously. In other words, do something to help somebody out, but do so in such a way as not to get any credit for what you did. That’s the hard part — do something nice — then don’t tell anyone about it. This isn’t like handing someone some money. If a panhandler asks you, then that person knows where the dollar came from. Doesn’t work like that. It’s got to be anonymous. Remember a certain character from the golden years of cowboy TV? The Lone Ranger? At the end of the episode, there was always the burning question, “Who was that masked man?” While this is in the general realm of what you’re looking for, it’s still not quite the right idea. See, if your beneficiary has to ask, “Who was that lone Gemini?” then the point of this exercise is gone. Now, if it makes you feel any better, you can always drop me a note from an anonymous email account to let me know that you did do the deed. I won’t tell.
Cancer: I’m old enough to know better, but still young enough to believe. Along a similar path, Cancer is like that right now. Wise enough not to be fooled by just any old thing, but still hopeful enough to see certain events in a hopeful light. It’s like fishing for those little lake fish. Not little lakes, but the smaller fish who come our of the lakes. Not quite as challenging as a monster bass with all her sport, but really good stuff that’s not too big, just about right for a little pan fried goodness. So the hopeful meter is running pretty high in the Cancer camp, along with the acerbic wit meter, to tone it all down. Set your sights for something that’s not too big, not too impossible. Set a goal you can accomplish. Go after something worthwhile yet, amusing as well. From what I’ve seen, you’re in good chance to pull off a small coup at work. I’m not suggesting that this is a big deal, just a small one. Like those pan fried perch, though, it is rather rewarding.
Leo: If you carefully follow my advice, you did something to make yourself feel better last week. Now that you’re feeling better about your Leo self, it’s time to turn your magnanimous attentions to the rest of us. We need something to make us feel better about ourselves. It can be a kindly word, a little harmless flirtation, a shimmy and shake that you’ve got — it could be just about anything. Whatever it is, you’re going to feel a lot better when you help one of us out. It’s not like this has to be a big deal, it could be very simple. One of my Leo buddies, he stopped and helped a stranded motorist. didn’t hurt that this Leo Bubba is a big guy, and the stranded motorist was female in distress with smoke (actually steam) pouring out from underneath the hood of her car. Leo Bubba just added some water to her radiator, and everything was better. No, he didn’t get a date out of the deal, but he did earn some karmic points for his effort. To suggest that his motives were anything less than altruistic wouldn’t be nice. What you do will vary with your age and gender. Typically, most girls shouldn’t be working on cars or stopping for strange hitchhikers, but that doesn’t stop the good intentions. Whatever it is, do something nice for someone. Unlike Bubba, you might actually get the date (or whatever it is that you want).
Virgo: Everyone has their own way of sorting stuff out. For the longest time, I used to reverse the names in my electronic address book — first name last, last name first. I did this so the organizer would sort by first name. At that time in my life, I was a much more informal guy. These days, rather than confuse the issue, I just adhere to the accepted standard of first name first, last name last, and so forth. I gave in, I conformed. I still have, though, the names and addresses sorted by sign. I flipped through the electronic list, looking for someone’s phone number, and I noticed that there’s more Virgo’s in the dating list, more Virgo energy there than anywhere else. Even I’ll tell you that Sagittarius and Virgo is not a good combination, but that’s never stopped me. I rarely, if ever, take my own advice. So my advice this week is about sorting out how you date. Or how you romance. One of those, or maybe both. There are some details about your romantic life that sorely need some kind of attention. It’s also possible that you need to look back at certain patterns, like I do, and wonder why. Now, enough of this reverie. What to do: look at the patterns and then assure yourself you’re not making the same mistake again.
Libra: I carry a variety of pocketknives for a variety of reasons. When I’m working out-of-doors, a heftier knife is desirable. If I’m just running around town, something slightly smaller is better. If I’m traveling through airports outside of Texas, then a smaller knife with no locking blade is important — don’t want to freak out the security people. I remember wandering into the Ft. Worth Federal building, and setting off the metal detector, wherein me and the lady cop both had a good laugh — I’m not a threat — I’m sure. The way she was built, she could’ve taken me down with one move. It doesn’t have to be your pocketknife that sets off the alarms this week — especially this weekend — but you’re bound to do something that sends the security people scrambling. Instead of reacting in a defensive manner, I know that’s just not your style, but instead of getting worked up about it, move slowly, in a calm fashion, and make sure your smile is sincere. Being nice is important. You’re going to have to disarm a situation sometime soon, and nothing works better than your disarming smile.
Scorpio: I’m not much of a jewelry person, I mean, I just don’t wear a lot of metal or precious stones as ornaments. But I do have a few pieces of silver jewelry that I like: one ring, a set of silver hoops for my ear, a single stud for the other ear. And I know enough about fashion to realize that I’m supposed to keep everything in the same family, like either wear silver or gold, but try not to combine them at the same time. This isn’t some hard and fast rule, but over the years, girlfriends have hammered home certain matters of taste. I don’t always listen, but a certain amount of browbeating on their parts has contributed to my sense of aesthetics. The deal with real silver is that it tarnishes pretty easy. And this is a time when a tarnished image is not so good. The Scorpio image might seem like it’s got a faint sheen, a color that is not quite right. The easiest way to cure this, borrowing from my limited knowledge about personal adornments, is to take swipe at it with a polishing cloth. There are all manner of pastes, polishes, unguents, ointments, and similar snake oil type of treatments, but nothing works better than a little elbow grease. Consider that, if you will. A little time rubbing on the right things makes your week look a lot better.
Sagittarius: I’m not sure if it’s possible to lose points with one’s self, but that seems to be the case as I’m going to be losing points with just about every Sagittarius who reads this stuff. The deal is work. It’s what is most important right now. Coincidentally, this happens at tax time (US tax time, for our readers across the pond). Work is suddenly brought into sharp, clear focus. Work is suddenly an important thing. Work, around here, generally remains in the realm of the theoretical variety. Leastways, we try to keep it that way. Except, this is a time when work starts to gather momentum, starts to pick up speed, starts to roll along, and the real trick is to get out and get picked up to speed with it. A lot of this “work” stuff looks like shuffling papers, moving this object over to this side of the desk, taking that pile out to the garage, stopping long enough to remember that I need to get a another gasket for the outboard motor half-assembled in the shed, and then remembering to put the recycling stuff out for collection service here in the trailer park. If I were more organized, I would remember to make a list, or I would check the list I already made and used a magnet to attach to the ice box door. The better organized you can be about work this week, the better off you’ll be — and less likely to lose points for something you forgot.
Capricorn: Ever want to tell everyone to take a hike? I was thinking of several other expressions, but I don’t know if any of those comments would make it past the editorial review board here at headquarters. At least one such expression would get a laugh, although phrase is probably anatomically impossible. The concern with what words you use to tell people off is of paramount importance at this point because, in fact, you are doing well. There will always be a lone, dissenting voice who wants to let you know that things aren’t what they appear to be. It’s that one, lone voice who is your only detractor right now, as well. Other than that one person, many aspects of the Capricorn life should be better than usual. Both dollars and romance look good. It’s that one lone voice, and frankly, I don’t know how to shut one voice up. But other than that, yes, things are good. The temptation — especially this coming weekend — the temptation is to be a little arrogant. Not that someone as great as myself would know anything about this arrogance, but the best course of action is to let your actions speak louder than your words. No resting, and don’t worry about that one person, the rest of us love you.
Aquarius: My most recent vehicle is an old truck. It used to have a toolbox on it, and the place where that box used to be is rusted out — just a little. The paint is faded, the dash is cracked, and the radiator needs another gallon of coolant. Water, actually, as I’m too cheap to put anything expensive into the old truck. Open up the hood, though, and this truck looks a lot better, except for some tape holding this little electrical thing onto the side of the motor thing. I can point to the parts and everyone would understand. So it’s a good truck, it just doesn’t have the best of appearances. Or it’s a mostly good truck, and it only breaks down at very convenient times, like when I don’t want to go to work. But this truck is not a pretty sight. Good, solid workhorse, just not attractive. You’re feeling much the same way right now. Good, solid Aquarius, but not everyone sees you for what you really are. Is this a problem? I hope not. I know that beauty is only skin deep, but Aquarius feelings go to the core. And I’m not about to suggest that you’re really unattractive, I’m just saying that most folks are judging you the wrong way right now. Let that be there problem. Like my truck, as soon as someone needs you for specific task, you’ll be called upon.
Pisces: The last time I extolled the virtues of a particular sign writing lyric, epic poetry, all I got back was a complaint or two, and some stuff that looked remarkably like it was purloined from other places — in other words, no one sent me anything original, or, for that matter, very good. But on the list of who’s who, and who gets the good stuff, and who just winds up with the leftover material, apparently astrologers are pretty low on the priority listing. That won’t stop me from listing you guys, the Pisces, pretty high on my list. So even if you don’t decide that this is the week when you’ll write epic poetry, you still have a way with words, and I expect some pretty big things out of you. There’s an even more hopeful note to this: see: I’m a professional astrologer, so my expectations of great things from Pisces is based on planet cycles. But I’m the only one out here with unreasonably high expectations. Everyone else is going to treat as normal. This means you can surprise a lot of folks with your native brilliance — they just aren’t looking for it from you, but I am.
