“Tempt us not to bear above our power!”
Shakespeare’s King John [V.v.38]
Aries: I’m a compatible fire sign, and that implies I understand, I sympathize, I even feel your pain. Or, in this case, it’s that familiar itch. “I want to go someplace.” You find yourself clicking through on blatant advertising for cruise ships. Or, if you’re like me, find this fascination with reruns of particular TV program: the Love Boat. One of the restaurants I frequent usually has the Love Boat on in the the afternoon. There’s a hitch, though, the program’s dubbed in Spanish. While this is a familiar scenario for me, and while this sort of adventure is common in my world, and it even satisfies my yearning to get to another country, it’s — at best — a stop gap measure. You still have the yearning for distant lands. Regretfully, unless this is business travel, it doesn’t really look like you’re destined to take that big trip right now. Doesn’t mean you can’t make some plans, but I’d hold out a little longer before accepting that offer, before signing on the dotted line, or even sending in a credit card number to make a reservation. Reservations? Yes, I have a few. So should you. Start the planning phase right now. I wouldn’t actually spend any money yet, though, as it’s not quite the right time. After the weekend, after next Monday, then consider sending in a deposit, but sleep on it until then.
Taurus: I’ve had this web page for a long time. It’s under a constant state of renewal, as I’m continuously bugging my web whacking friends to do another cool bit of programming for it. I was doing a good job of getting digital pictures, but the only girl I know with a good digital camera is loathe to go fishing, much less get around me and any fish, barely alive, dead, or anything other than cleaned and cooked. So none of my trophies as displayed as caught. And like all things digital, there’s this ephemeral, ethereal quality about the way the web site looks and functions. It’s more like a personal web page rather than a strict astrology site. I was walking down the street, last week, to get myself a tall drink of a refreshing carbonated beverage, something to cool off on a hot spring afternoon, and there was a pair of young ladies, waving and hollering at me. “Fishing Guide to the Stars! Hey! Hi!” Never saw them before in my life. Not that I wouldn’t like to meet them, but I had no clue as to how these folks found me. This is how that sort of publicity works out. You’ve got the same thing going on. You ran your digital image up on a web page or exchanged a few emails with some folks, and everyone was sure they knew you. Then, when you’re just out and about one afternoon, you discover an adoring (and adorable) public. Enjoy the brief glare of the spotlight.
Gemini: The weekend is not such a hot weekend. I know you were looking forward to it, but things just aren’t what they appear to be. However, next week, when the Sun moves on into the Sign of the Twins (yes, that means you), then stuff gets good. What stuff gets good? Aren’t you glad you asked? Everything. Well, most everything. Most things, anyway. Somethings, at least. There’s a veritable plethora of planets, big and small, all in your sign. Make use of this energy. Enjoy it. Now, until next week, though, be a little extra careful about shooting off your mouth. There’s a work related problem, and calling attention to this could get you in a lot of trouble. There will be a time, and place, to make your feeling about this particular topic known. But right now, why not just cool your heels and get ready for a good Mercury Retrograde Birthday time? You know the drill with the little spinning orb, how it causes mayhem in your life. So take it easy right now. Conserve some of your Gemini energy, and wait for a slightly better time to communicate your astute observations. No need ot let this one message, which won’t get through, interfere with having a good time. Relax some, you’ve got some good parties coming along.
Cancer: Texas weather is, at best, a fickle creature. Pretty hard to predict, other than it looks like it’ll be hot this summer. But summer ain’t here yet. Shakespeare’s King John reminds us “not to bear above our power” [opening quote]. Between the fickle weather patterns, and Shakespeare, there’s a message. Wear more black. Black is a useful color. It implies a sinister quality. It suggests a certain amount of stealth. It has all kinds of overtones. All black makes you look like the bad guy, the Scorpio — or the astrologer, I guess. You need to be moving with a degree of stealth. You want to drop from some people’s radar screen right now. You want to operate in fashion that makes you hard to see. Most important, too, you need to be doing some “behind the scenes” work. To some of the more gregarious Cancer types I know, this sort of operation is not happy. It’s like working in vacuum. But there’s a planetary hint, a suggestion, that this is a time when you want to move in way to attract as little attention as possible. There comes a time when you need to act as if you’re working alone. Act as if, whatever it is that you’re working on, act as if you are doing this all by yourself for the greater good of the community. I wouldn’t build you up like this if there wasn’t a promise of some joy in it — eventually. Maybe not this weekend, but next week, Venus begins to creep into your sign, and then things change. You can shed the stealthy, black attire then.
Leo: I had this one client who hung on my every word. Sort of scared me. I would make a joke, and she would take this joke, worry through it, and then try to decide if it meant something about her. Sometimes, a little humor is just that, a little humor. Guru I am not. Sage seerer of all things future, I am not. Brilliant astrologer, no, I’m not even that. I’m just a Fishing Guide to the Stars, with a little bit of a clue about where the planets are, and how these planets impact particular charts. Well, and I know where a few big fish are, too. The deal is: you’re tempted to make someone — in all earnest seriousness, I hope it’s not me — into a guru. Some of the best teachers I’ve studied with don’t take themselves too serious. I would look for that. Since you’re actively seeking out this new teacher, and since your personal guru is bound to pop up at a time like this, choose carefully. Better yet, let them select you. It’s not very Leo-like, but it makes for an improvement in the natural selection process.
Virgo: Patience may be a virtue, and Virgo’s may be the most virtuous of all the signs, but patience and virtue are in short supply right now. The problem being, this gets worse, not better. Oh great, there, I’ve gone and said it. As soon as I suggest something is going downhill, I get a torrent of Virgo mail, “What do you mean! It couldn’t get any worse than this?” Notice the way the punctuation is not properly applied in that preceding set of supposed correspondence from the Virgo camp. There is the added emphasis on things being in a backward position. Thank you, Mercury. And really, things aren’t going to get worse. It’s just like our traffic problem here: it’s not the longtime residents who are a problem, it’s the new imports, folks who moved here from some place else. They are the people causing all the problems; it must be their fault. None of this falls on your Virgo shoulders, but the results of the problems created by some other people, that does land in your lap, and only a good Virgo can fix it. The problem with the problem is that it takes both patience and virtue to handle this, and both of those are in short supply right now. When people start leaning on you, politely remind them that there is only one of you, and you’re moving as fast as can, and they, too, will have to be patient.
Libra: Bubba is not exactly what I would call a “morning person” unless it’s an activity that involves either firearms or beer, or, preferably both. He pulled out of his driveway one morning, on his way to an early shift at work, and his neighbor was pulling out at the exact same time. You can see this one coming, a nice, big dent in Bubba’s pickup. Turned out that was a damned expensive dent, too, and one insurance company, after much adjusting, yelling, and a few estimates, decided to total the truck. Bubba pocketed the money, we had a party, and he was set to buy a new truck, but never made it around to getting one, and you can guess where that money finally went. We sure did have a good time for a spell, though. This wasn’t much of problem until much later, when he went to register his old truck with the state. Since it had been “totaled,” it was listed as a dead vehicle with no real serial number or something. No amount of pleading, none of this “possession is 9/10ths of the law” evidence could sway that particular country clerk. Bubba isn’t particularly adept at legal proceedings, either, although, I’m pretty sure he’s on a first name basis with at least judge by now. The truck went uninsured and unregistered for a month or two, until Bubba found the right clerk who could shepherd him through the process of getting his truck registered and all the paperwork up-to-date. You’re just going to have to keep badgering people until someone lends a Libra-sympathetic ear right now. It will happen, but there might be a delay or two, like that truck registration.
Scorpio: I was looking at Shakespeare’s King John for the opening quote this week, but I got to thinking that the good Scorpio’s needed something a little different. Shakespeare was not known for historical accuracy. He was sort of like the recent round of historical fiction, like a made for TV movie that claims to be based upon real events. The real story and what the media feeds us might be two different things altogether. Even if you’re not familiar with Shakespeare’s Henry V, the story goes something like this: 500 Englishmen kicked 10,000 French Noblemen in a battle. That’s one Englishman for every 20 Frenchman. Not likely. The history book I looked at suggested the numbers were more like 1500 English and 2500 French — not quite 2:1. The English also used a modern weapon, the longbow, with deadly results, hence the overwhelming victory. When you get done with this week, you will be telling Shakespeare’s version of the tale, about what your Scorpio self did. With Mercury retrograde, though, make sure some history buff doesn’t come along and make the numbers look more realistic — that removes the dramatic effect you were seeking.
Sagittarius: Last time this happened to me, I was energized. Full of ideas. My mind was bursting at its seams, and I was hard pressed to put everything down on paper. I tend to switch, when Mercury goes backwards, to an analog device called “pen and paper,” because it usually doesn’t blow up. My penmanship, which isn’t great to start with, suffers from a Mercury Meltdown during these times. This is a problem, but it’s less of a problem than getting frustrated at the truck’s radiator (always leaks when Mercury is backwards), or the computer that doesn’t want to print, or save, or even run. I looked back at my energized notes, my handwritten journal, and I was ashamed of myself. Bad poetry. Marketing ideas that run against common sense, or worse, against the advice of the marketing department. Layouts and designs for web pages — both of which, will, never, ever work. However, buried in all that meandering, seemingly pointless section of notes, there was an idea or two, an excellent stratagem, and one or two killer combinations of words. Don’t be afraid to write down some of your ideas, as your Sagittarius brain is bursting at its seams. Just be careful that you don’t let everyone see your stuff, though, as some of it is just pure drivel. You can mine this material at another date. It’s a form of research and development, with the development part coming later.
Capricorn: I’ll tell you that you look good. I even believe that you look good. I can see it with my own eyes, and I’ve looked at enough Capricorn’s to know the difference between “looking good” and “not looking good.” But while I can plainly see that you are looking rather well, most of your friends won’t agree with me. You’ve been working long hours, you feel like the world is just abiding by your every wish, and you feel a little out of sorts. Nothing can be done about that. The early part of May, in Texas, is truly lovely. The wildflowers have all gone to seed, we get a blast of moisture floating in overhead from the Gulf of Mexico, and the days aren’t too hot just yet. Great time to get outside and do something. Since Mercury is making things are work all mixed up, why not just take a little time off, get out and enjoy the spring time, such as it is? You probably can’t take this note in to the office and say, “Look, this astrologer told me to take the afternoon off,” but it’s a nice thought. Besides, just getting out for a little while, just stretching your legs, putting all those work problems on the back of the Capricorn mental stove for a minute or three, this sort of exercise will give you so much needed thinking space. In a computer, it’s “system resources,” and you need to make sure you give yourself enough “system resource” space for things to happen. Take a break, then get back after it. I still think you look good, even if you don’t think so.
Aquarius: I found some interesting music, the other day, when I was searching for something rather unrelated on the web: Mariachi-DJ-Dance Mix-HipHop-electronic mix. Truly an eclectic selection. The problem I had, I didn’t bookmark the page, and I’ve never been able to tell if it was just a fever dream, or if it was something I really saw and heard. The last time I did search like that, I couldn’t find the same thing again. It might have been a mistake, but it was so real and so strange, I’m sure I really did see it. I just wish I could find that bizarre group of items, all located on one album, again. Take a bunch of different stuff, throw it in a Bass-O-Matic blender, and see what pops out. Pours out, if you’re using a blender. Now, there might be a a really tasteful arrangement to what comes out, especially if it’s something that truly does pique your Aquarius taste buds. Or might be a horrendous mistake, but you’re not going to know until you try it. Doesn’t much matter if you’re looking for the latest in Latino Musica, or if you’re trying to accomplish something at work, be a little more willing to let the serendipitous routes take you where you want to go. These days, though, Mercury is doing his backwards thing, so make sure you leave trail of bread crumbs — or a computer pointer — to make sure you can find it again.
Pisces: I’ve learned to control my temper a little bit better than when I was a young man. Makes my life a lot easier. Before I get bent out of shape at something, I have to stop and assess the situation thoroughly. Look at the problem from all sides. Consider my foe’s point of view. Try to see it from another angle. Rage is a luxury I rarely, if ever, afford for myself. Got too much to do to spend any time getting worked up over a particular topic. Just doesn’t do any good, either. Waste of time. Takes too much energy. Get the hint? You’re going to have some situation in the next few days, quite possibly this weekend, and it’s going to really bother you. You can get worked up into a good screaming fit, or you can step back for just a second, and examine the situation. I suggest if you look at it, stop and take a rational moment to really carefully consider what you’re face to face with, you will find this is, in fact, a solid obstacle. Here’s the big hint: if you can’t do anything to change it, the only thing you can change is your attitude. When you’re face to face with something you have no control over, don’t bother wasting time or energy trying to gain some control over that obstacle.
