“I wish he would modestly examine himself.”
Shakespeare’s Much Ado About Nothing [II.iii.200]
We’ve all been through this before, and nothing is worse than having one of your fishing buddies be a little indiscreet about how he is examining himself. Nothing is worse than that outpouring of emotion while your buddy sorts through a process. Thank you, Mercury, as he goes backwards, and makes it so we all wish there was just a little more modesty about this self-examination. Them eclipses sure do funny things to folks.
Aries: One of the biggest mistakes you can make right now is the enter talking. I don’t mean as in, “Enter into a conversation,” I mean, hit the door and open your mouth at the same time. You have a lot to say. Most of the folks you deal with are deaf. No, not really, but they will all appear to be , for the next 5 to 7 working days. And even though there’s this nice weekend in between, if you’re sitting down at the bar, hoisting a few brews, and complaining how no one is listening at work, well, look around. The only person who still appears to be within earshot of you is that one drunk, passed out on the bar, next to you. You don’t want to disturb him, either, as he’ll fall over. This is all due to an unfortunate arrangement of planets in places where you want to communicate your wonderful ideas (yes, yes they are good) but right now, no one seems to want to listen to your scintillating words of wisdom. Sending an email doesn’t work, either, as those get deleted before they even get scanned. Fax? No, that gets caught in the trash receptacle next to the fax machine. Get the picture? I’m the only one listening right now, and that doesn’t do either of us any good. Save your message for later.
Taurus: I always assumed that the river which cuts a wide swath through town, I always assumed it was an East/West river. But the Colorado River, in Austin, is more like a Northwest, Southeast kind of river. and it has lots of loops in it, places where the river’s trajectory sort of meanders all over the place. It eventually reaches the Gulf of Mexico, but it doesn’t go in a straight line. YOu’re going to find yourself following just such a meandering path yourself, definitely not the straight line you thought you were following. It loops back and forth, in and around, cuts some nice cliffs in places, does an almost full circle at one point, and if you get caught in one of the river’s Deep Eddy’s, then you get a break from the headlong rush downstream. The best course of action is to sit back on your raft, and enjoy the pictures of life floating by. Look at the scenery. Take it all in. Might as well set back, enjoy the ride.
Gemini: People turn to a good horoscope for advice on how to deal with what influences a particular astrologer interest for a given period of time. Mercury is backwards in your sign. Ya’ll ain’t happy. If I had a good joke, I’d shoot it down your way, but alas, I’m just as hard hit by this Mercury Mambo as you are. In fact, it might really be worse for me than it is for you. But that’s up to your to decide. Comparing how I’m looking right now, and back that up against how you feel at this moment, are two different things. If you use that method of comparison, you’re only going to feel worse. Look at it this way: there’s a full moon [party time] going on right now. Get out and enjoy that. Your plans are bound to get messed up, one way or another, so make allowances for contingencies. Don’t let the little details get in the way. You will not be celebrating alone, but you might not be having a good time with the people you originally intended to meet. Don’t let little things get in the way of your merriment — make it a fun event, no matter where you wind up. Hint” there are no good guidelines right now.
Cancer: I was opening the case to reseat a computer’s ethernet card. I realize this is a task that really doesn’t fall under my job description, but being a guy with a handy pocket tool, the job fell to me. The real problem was there were a bunch of cards in this one computer, not just the network interface thing. While I was digging around in the computer’s innards, I sliced my thumb on a connector. It wasn’t much more than a scratch, but as surface wounds go, it just gushed blood. It took four paper towels to staunch that geyser of my vital life fluid. The good news is that the fix worked. Same applies to you: you go digging around in some piece of equipment, or a problem, and you manage to correct somebody else’s mistake. You also stand a good chance of needing a transfusion, or at least some plasma, as a result of this good deed. It’s great to be nice, just be careful about the sharp parts as you don’t want to hurt yourself like I did.
Leo: Few people really understand the way your psyche works. It’s easy to fall back on the old, tried and true formula of suggesting that Leo’s are the best, but not everyone will agree with me right now. Matter of fact, few people will agree with either you, or me, right now. This is a problem. This is major problem, really. But you’re still the best, only, we’re going to pretend that that particular information is our little [Mr. Mercury is Retrograde] secret. This doesn’t make everything all better, but the more you keep to yourself, just do your job, and the less you try to convince some people that you are doing as good a job as you are doing, the better it gets. This is that “delayed gratification” process at work. Folks just don’t seem to be noticing you as much as you would like them to. Folks seem to be all over you, but not in a good way. Relax about this, would you? That worried look, that angry energy, none of that will do you any good. Just keep stamping out the license plates, just keep pushing the paper around, just keep doing whatever it is that you do best, and know, in your Leo heart, that I know you’re doing a good job. The rest of the world will catch up with us pretty soon.
Virgo: I’ve got this one favorite Virgo girl, and she gets all upset when I make generalizations about her sign, “I don’t obsess about details, now do I? I never obsess about details, unless, like they are important or something, now do I? I’m not one of those Virgo types who worries about everything, huh?” Which, in fact, is exactly what she is doing, obsessing about not obsessing. That argument quickly evolves into a tautological discussion about certain Virgo characteristics. So there’s a lot of gravel in the sky, and a lot of this gravel is making your Virgo self worry about things over which you have no control. You can get upset if you want, but since this is a person, place or thing that you can’t control, why worry about it? These are not your problems. Let the folks responsible the problems deal with the problems. It’s Mercury, and you’re going to worry about this one, too, and there’s not much I can do about that. However, if you do spend a little time sorting out the facts, you’ll find that some of the problems are not yours to worry about. Unless you want to, of course.
Libra: The littlest planet may, indeed be backwards, and it may, indeed be making a transition from a morning star to an evening star, but that’s no reason to let some of the little things get in the way. Or is that evening star to morning star? I can never remember. While I may be confused about when Mercury is coming up and going down, there’s no reason for you to let my confusion bother you. Along the same lines, a lot of people are very confused right now. Roughly 80% of what you have to deal with is upside down, not sure if it’s morning or night, and not sure about what is supposed to be done next. Again, this is something you shouldn’t worry about. That’s Mercury Mayhem at its finest. You did heap a little too much on your plate, and you did bite off a little more than you can chew, but even so, there is still a little lift you get from some other players, and I suspect you’re coming out of this mess of a weekend in fine form — maybe even a little better off than most.
Scorpio: In the scope that follows the Scorpio scope, in Sagittarius, there’s a reference to the fact that my cat is a Scorpio. Since me and her have been buddies for such a long time, I’m not really sure that she’s a Scorpio as I got her at the “kitty lock up” [city animal shelter], when she was only a few weeks old, and doing the math, I came up with making her to be Scorpio. Adopting her “cat-like” attitude wouldn’t hurt right now, either, not since communications are so thoroughly scrambled at this point. This coming weekend, though, by the time we all get to Friday, the worst is over with. Supposedly. The cat likes to bat things around, pieces of paper, rubber bands, packaging peanuts, feather used on fishing lures, and one of her favorite toys is plastic fishing worms. She likes to play in my tackle box, I suppose, in part, because it reeks of that heady fish aroma. Even if you’re feeling playful, especially this weekend, you might want to take it a little easy with your choice in toys to bat around. I’d hate for you to find that one of the toys has a hook on the end of it, and I would really hate to see any Scorpio blood shed in the name of having a little fun.
Sagittarius: One of my clients had enclosed payment in a greeting card. It wasn’t so much the money that I liked, it was the card itself. It was a soaking wet kitten with an appropriate comment underneath it. I must admit, as funny as I thought the card and the picture were, and as amused as I was by the whole thing, my cat didn’t think it was funny. In the language of the cat, she said, “That’s not funny, that’s just pathetic.” I’m Sagittarius, my cat is a Scorpio. Like that greeting card, you’re going to find something rather amusing this week, you’re going to laugh at something that might, or might not be, funny to other people. And like my Scorpio cat, you’re also going to encounter some people who just think you’re being obtuse, weird, or even just plain mean with your Sagittarius laughter. I can’t tell you how to deal with your problem person, but in my case, I just give the cat some extra food, and everything works out for the best. But she’s still not amused by that card.
Capricorn: I’ve lived in various cities in the Southwest for so long, lived along the lines of the Sun Belt for most of my life, I don’t know what it’s like elsewhere. But the big cities all have this weather thing, and it’s starting now. In the early spring, the mornings are cool, cold even. But as the days get longer, and as there is more solar radiation leaking through the ozone layer, the nights aren’t nearly as cool as they were a while back. Part of this is due to the way a lot of concrete acts like a sink, and holds that heat in. Your chart acts much the same way at this point: you’re a heat sink, and the dust, grime, unburnt hydrocarbons, and just about everything, is getting stuck to you. Mornings aren’t quite as refreshing as they used to be, even just a few short weeks ago. Since this can all really be traced back to Mr. Mercury, the easiest solution is a nice, wide brimmed, straw hat. It’s not just for wearing, see, you can fan yourself with it as well. When some asks, “What’s with the hat?” You can always tell them it’s your personal “anti-Mercury protector.” Might not always work, but it goes a long way in helping you to keep your cool.
Aquarius: There are a couple of outdoor events in Austin, in the spring time, parties of the grand scale that take place along the shores of a creek or the river that runs through town. These sort of parties are fine for relaxation, general merry making, and good bit of fun. What’s important is not to take the fun too serious. “We have a lost child, and his name, what’s your name?” The hostess looks at a little tow-headed child dressed in a tiny tie-dye T. “Whaaaaaaaaaa!” The kid exclaims, bursting into tears, looking out over the audience. Happens almost every weekend. We can all empathize with that child, too, looking out over that sea of party animals, clutching at the hostess’s hand, suddenly scared to death. It’s a natural reaction. Okay, it’s a weird time. You can be either be the hostess, the nice volunteer helping, and you can give that kid some support by being kind and gentle, and help that child find its way home, or you can be the kid itself. You look out on that sea of adult faces, get really scared, and you do what comes naturally, burst into tears. Given the array of planets in Air signs, maybe a little of both would help this week.
Pisces: Last week, I was busy trying to transcribe some lyrics from an audio CD, trying to make sure I understood just exactly what the singer was saying, and I was hoping to be able to use those lyrics this week. I gave up because I couldn’t quite make out what was being said. I certainly caught the feeling of it, but I’ve erroneously transcribed lyrics before, and I wasn’t sure that this is what I wanted to do on this particular occasion. Mercury is is doing his backward thing in that pesky, mutable air sign (Gemini) and this combines with a couple of other problems. Not major, big-time problems, just pesky things. Like not being able to discern what the lyrics actually are. I kept thinking about this as I revered the direction of the CD, and heard it go backwards, then forwards, trying to make out what was being sung. The Pisces times, just for you guys, and just right now, sort of sounds a lot like the stuff coming out of the speakers — when I was playing that song backwards. You can sort of making out the notes, and you hear the voices, but none of it makes any sense. Don’t worry about it, either, everything will start playing in a forward motion soon enough.
