“A college of wit-crackers cannot flout me out of my humour.”
Shakespeare’s Much Ado About Nothing [V.iv.99]
Aries: For a long time, spanning more than five years, I did a weekly online chat session on AOL’s Astronet, every wednesday night. It was raucous, free-wheeling affair, as chat rooms go, and much fun was had by all. On one particular night, I had my phone headset on, and I was fielding a call from friend, and I had the little web camera running, and I was doing live readings in that chat room. All at the same time. Talking to one person, typing astrology news to another, and smiling at the camera every 60 seconds. That’s about three pieces of information all be processed at the same time. It’s no wonder my brain turned to mush years ago. Feel like your brain is turning to mush, as well? Trying to do a lot of things, all at the same time? Most of this involves communication? It should. You’ll notice, though, I was actually very careful about the way I handled what I was doing: the camera didn’t have sound, nor, for that matter, did the chat room. So I was doing pictures on one device, typing at another device, and using a terribly analog phone for the third. Split it up some. You can, in fact, do as much as I was doing, but you’ve got split it up in different categories. For example, if the web camera had a microphone — and it was on — then there would’ve been certain trouble. don’t try to do too much at once. Pace yourself.
Taurus: My CD player holds 5 different albums at a time. The typical opera is 4 CD’s in length. That means the 5th one in the changer is something completely different. I was listening to a recent acquisition, some heavy metal sort of thing, and the final cut on that particular album is pessimistic, dystopic, end of the world song that never got much airplay. Oddly enough, the opera, which came right after it, fit nicely due its theme. Pay attention to how you stack up things that have no apparent connection, as you are particularly gifted right now (it is a birthday time) at putting things together that don’t seem to fit together. Listen to the words, or listen for the themes, or digger a little deeper into your consciousness, and see where the similarities are. One discordant note doesn’t mean that none of this works together, in reality, a lot of this is very much the same. Look at the slightly larger overview, sort of like a scenic rest stop in life, and see what items do fit together in the grand scheme of things. Oh yes, it’s still Taurus birthdays, see how things fit together in the grand Taurus scheme of things. I have this sense that you can make some connections right now, and wind up being pleased with the way things work out.
Gemini: Good, sound astrological advice, derived from the Gemini chart, right now, it’s simple: don’t blow it. You have a unique ability to fidget, tweak, massage, or otherwise work with a single problem, and instead of leaving this problem alone, your continued pressure is just making it worse. I realize this is a sore spot with you, but if you just quit picking at it, it gets better. Because I spend a fair amount in the wild underbrush of Texas, I’ve been exposed to Poison Ivy a number of times. I’ve been covered with this stuff, from time to time. It’s gotten so I can easily recognize the plant itself, and I’ve learned to steer clear of it. More or less. But when I do manage to catch a little bit of it, usually on my bare shins, what I’ve found that works better than any lotion, better than any anti-inflammatory drug, better than any other medicine, what works for me is to not scratch that itch. You know what the cure is, you know the answer. Don’t exacerbate this problem by continuing to pick at it. Sheer will power [and some air conditioned comfort] works best. Set the pieces right then leave them alone.
Cancer: Portable, cellular (to be honest most of these things are now digital) phones are such a tragic invention. They get in the way of most intimate settings, always going off at the wrong time. I was in the half price bookstore, really just a used book place, cashing in a stack of old books, and looking to spend whatever I made back on something interesting. My phone went off, and I moved towards the front of the store, so I could get clear reception. While I was sitting on the step stool, talking to a client on the phone, my wandering eyes did behold a special treasure. If I hadn’t taken that call, and if I hadn’t wandered over by the window so I could hear, then I wouldn’t have found that particular treasure. It was a selection of blank journals, good quality paper, all made in Europe. Very cool find, and one that would surely not last long in the discount bookstore. What seemed important, though, was the way I made this find: answering that darn phone in my pocket. So you get interrupted? So what? Maybe that interruption, maybe that distraction can lead to something you wouldn’t have seen, otherwise. Be willing to see the good in the mess, especially if it’s a phone going off when you least expect. However, I can’t suggest that you do this while driving. Operating a vehicle while having a small awakening, or even a good realization, isn’t always the best place to be.
Leo: There is so much frivolous good stuff kicking around, there’s just this one detrimental aspect really kicking your backside. To be honest, there’s a lot more good than ill at this point, and too much of the good stuff will be overshadowed by the dark cloud of Taurus looming on the horizon. All this means, despite all the nice things I can say, what this means is you’ve got one, pesky, pernicious, painful situation you really should’ve addressed a while back. If you hadn’t avoided that problem then, it wouldn’t be back, now. Easy enough for me to say because I live a charmed life. As much as I want to make the Leo life equally charmed, there’s not much I can do about problems you avoided dealing with, and how those things (looks more like a single thing), are back, calmly requesting your attention. Easiest thing to do is to avoid the problems. Next best thing, is to break them problems into single, easy to digest bites. Then nibble at this situation until you achieve that happy resolution, which you so richly deserve. Use that inconspicuous good energy to work on that one problem. Makes it a lot easier.
Virgo: I’ve found that after an exciting morning of fishing or writing, or just answering email, I need some sort of break. I need something different, a little change in my pace. There’s a coffee shop not far from Shady Acres Trailer Park (and home to Fishing Guide to the Stars), and this one coffee place makes a great break. The help is particularly nice, at one point, the place was voted as having the best “tank tops” in town. Your own, Virgo imagination can take that wherever you want to go with it. Just a little east of here, the coffee is good, and even on a hot spring afternoon, a tall paper cup full of Espresso and frothy, steamed milk is just the perfect way to set the tone for the rest of the afternoon. Besides, a little caffeine, a little exercise (it’s a short hike to get there), even a few minutes in the spring time Texas sun, just about anything is good. Why the break? Like me, that extra, afternoon jolt of java makes it easier to work late into the night. You’ve got one extra deadline, one extra deal pending, one extra load from your boss, one extra something, and some extra hours are going to be required. Let’s have a little coffee (or tea) in the afternoon, then we’ll both get back to work.
Libra: The circuit I used to follow, with my ragtag group of friends, accomplices, and various hanger-on’s, would stretch from the piney woods and bayou country in deep East Texas, out past the Central Texas Highlands, into the prairies in West Texas, to the scorching desert in far West Texas. That’s a whole lot of countryside to cover. It’s not unusual to spend one weekend in swampy, humid Houston, and then spend the next weekend in arid El Paso, close to a thousand miles away. Like me, you’ve got to be ready for some changes in climates, some fairly drastic changes, and unlike me, I’m not sure you can get away with wearing shorts all the time. It’s a nice thought, but I’m not holding out for you guys to be dressed in my usual [spring-summer-fall-sometimes winter, too] uniform of shorts and a mismatched shirt. Where I live, “casual” and “formal” are easily confused. And the weather is anything but predictable. However, you’re next few days are pretty easy to predict: nothing is going to be quite the way you want it to be. Won’t be bad, just not quite what you’re expecting. Be prepared for a formal event that turns into a casual affair. Likewise, be prepared for a casual affair to turn into a formal event. Like me jumping from different time zones and environments, you find yourself doing your own version of the “Texas-Two-Step” and this is going to require you to adapt a little. And things turn out well, just not like you expect them to.
Scorpio: There is one, big deal with your primary relationship that isn’t going to way you want it to. There are a lot of little deals with your other relationships that are going exactly like you want them to. Sort of a mixed message, here. There’s a cool trick I learned for dealing with with vision problems at and shortly after dusk: look out of the corner of your eyes. Peripheral vision is where it’s at for Scorpio. If you fix that Scorpio stare on something, if you fix that focus on one focal point, then you miss everything else. It’s something, good stuff, dancing right at the edge of your sight. That’s where the good stuff is. You can’t concentrate on the good stuff, but if you are more aware that it’s your peripheral vision that hold the secrets — and the good things — then maybe you won’t fixate on that one problem too much. Look around the edges, look behind the problem, underneath it, any place but right at it. The light at dusk, the late summer-like evenings, as the light slowly leaks out of the sky, that’s the best time to see more clearly. You are a good Scorpio, and you guys can see things in the dark. I know you can, and that night vision, the peripheral sort, is what works best.
Sagittarius: I was at one of the usual (for Austin, my hometown) outdoor spring festivals, just the other weekend, and I saw something I don’t think people see in many parts of the country: neo-hippie, reggae, new-age, flower skirt, hemp-shoe, vegetarian folks dancing, doing the hippie shake shuffle. This, in and of itself, is not so unusual. People dressed like that, and wearing a straw cowboy hat, now that’s just a little different. The aroma of sage, incense and other burning substances wafting their way up through the daylight, making little psychedelic smoke rings, the acres and acres of exposed flesh, the bounce and jiggle, and the straw cowboy hats. It’s just a little different than what I would expect at an event like this. No one, outside of Texas, would really expect a form of cowboy wear to be so prevalent. But it is. It brings up a good point, though, as the Sagittarius chart right now is full of stuff that doesn’t quite go together. I mentioned my observation to a friend with a video camera, and he got a gleam in his eye, and took off to shoot some pictures of the “cowboy-hippie” shuffle. Be prepared to cross genres right now. don’t e afraid to mix it up a little. As a Sagittarius, we’re not known for our sartorial splendor, anyway, so go ahead and shake it up some. And if you’re two-stepping to some reggae music, don’t worry about. You’ve got to deal with what you’ve got, at the moment.
Capricorn: Ever go chasing after some particular person, an attractive person, one who you really thought you wanted? Ever pursue this person, relentlessly — within the bounds of good tastes, of course — only to have your every offer spurned? She doesn’t return my phone calls, she doesn’t write, she just deletes my email, I guess? You know what I’m talking about? You know that feeling? I’d like to suggest, when you are faced with a daunting proposition such as this, when the chase gets to be too much trouble, that now is a good time to either turn your attentions elsewhere, or skip this one for a while. FRom my personal files, I’ve discovered that giving up the hunt, giving up the act of pursuit, just plain surrendering to what feels like the inevitable, this is a positive step forward. It has all kinds ofd repercussions, too. Give up something that just ain’t working. Quite pounding away at some problem that doesn’t want to be solved. Quit chasing after someone who doesn’t want to be caught. No sooner do I give up then, all of sudden, that person comes making a beeline, straight for me. But I’ve got to give up, first. I’m not sure that is definitely a romance question for you this week, but from what I’ve seen of your chart, I would suggest that it could very well be just such a question. If it’s meant to be, you’ll find that they [he, she, it] come galloping after you, just about the time the weekend hits — if you surrender.
Aquarius: When buying music, I have rule that I follow: never pay full retail. Since it’s my own rule, I am allowed to break it when I encounter a particular piece of music that I simple must have. But on the grander scale of things, this sort of rule leads me to unusual places to shop for new stuff to slap in the old CD player. The bargain basement places. The used CD stores. One of my favorites is the stuff sold in discount stores — that means, these are CD’s that didn’t move from their original location, or didn’t sell in quantity, or maybe they are gray market, or whatever. But I’ve encountered a number of good guys, a few treasures, and the occasional real find in just bargain places. There’s a problem though, as I found one rereleased CD, a recording of an actual record, dating back to a time before digital recordings were made, and it was just great. The problem being, my little wonderful discovery had all the problems, preserved in digital glory, of that original vinyl version. The record had a small scratch and a skip therefore, the CD had a small scratch and skip. You go motoring along this week, minding your fine old Aquarius business, and you hit a scratch and a skip. You can get all worked up about this, or you ca do like I do, and suggest that this adds a realistic touch. But there will be a little hesitation in the normal tempo. Adjust your time accordingly.
Pisces: I live in a trailer. Not a large trailer, a small one. The manufacturing firm originally claimed that this place was a good 600 square feet of livable space. As near as I can tell, they arrived at that mythical number by doubling what the actual available square footage really was. It’s not much of a problem , now. When I first moved in, though, it was more of a problem because I was used to living in large apartments or houses. It takes certain amount of restraint. I had to sell off most of my black velvet paintings. I had to learn that I couldn’t keep just every book that I brought home, unless I was willing to start storing the library outside. I may live in temperate climate, but I don’t think most of my library would do well living outside. Discipline is important. In fact, retail discipline is important. Just because I see something I think I want, I have to stop and consider what I’m willing to move out before I move anything else in. Take a tip from me, before you buy, whip out that handy tape measure and see if the thing that you’re thinking about will really fit in your living space. I found this one, beautiful black velvet landscape. I figured it would look really good over my couch. Problem being, that one painting was longer than any single wall in my trailer. Use a little good sense right now, measure before you buy.
